u/Accurate-Neck6933

I’m supposed to have shoulder surgery soon. I’m taking oral micronized progesterone (100 mg) with tirz, have you been asked to stop any of these pre and post surgery? Curious to know.

I’m planning on building and moving to a new house. If I were to sell my old house, how much money from that house can I give to my adult child? Or is there some better way to go about doing this?

Just attended the Investing Essentials and now want to reallocate my investments in Schwab. We now know it’s 25/25/25/25 divided between growth-income large cap, growth mid-cap, emerging market aggressive small cap and international. Which funds are your favorites and why? Or simply what’s your formula? Thank you!!

Trying to figure out appliances. I’m used to natural gas but it is not available in the area I’m moving to. So I’m using oil for heat. Propane vs electric for stove/dryer? Propane vs. wood for backup heat source? Any suggestions?

Placed now in a different reality, I am living in an abandoned house of a bygone era. Just like in an old photo, the image is in gray tones and torn at the edges. It’s been 9 months. I look to the gardens that my husband once grew and they lay overgrown. Berries are unpicked, plants unpruned, weeds unattended. I cleaned under the porch and there were stacks of dusty wooden boards saved from a lifetime ago that I will throw upon the fire. Projects that just won’t be.

I have worked my fingers to the bone, with the hope that I can escape this place of purgatory where I must clean and cleanse everyday. I scrub and I sort. Anything to stay busy.

Our son is 18, it’s another season of change. This childhood family home will be truly empty in the not so distant future. All that once was, now has passed. All that gave meaning to my life is now as fleeting as a leaf in the wind or footprints on the sand. Ever changing.

I am living in a ghost house. I see evidence of the life that was here. There were hands that laid the tile in the bathroom, there were hands that gathered and dried the spices in the cabinets, and there were hands that put the food up in the freezer. There was a family that lived and loved each other in this house.

Seeing the shadows of the life my son and I once had with his father, does not bring us comfort, it brings us sadness to look out of the window upon the forgotten gardens. Every morning I cry, but I continue on so I can grasp at the remaining moments.

Is there anything wrong with wanting a 2b1b house? 1500 sq feet. Or am I overlooking something? This will be my retirement home and I plan to have guests come and stay off and on. So it would be my bedroom and a guest bedroom. Most of the rest of the space will be living room and kitchen. I just don’t think I want to give up space for a 3rd bedroom and another bathroom. Am I missing something on the resale value if I ever decide to sell? As far as the rest of the neighborhood, it’s varies. Everyone builds their own style and size of house here.

One thing that I’ve been grappling with is now that I’m alone in this world I get to face aging on my own. I went in for a regular eye check up and she found signs of macular degeneration. I knew my mom had something similar but suddenly I have this intense fear that I will go blind and be totally alone. It is just hitting me hard. I’m sure all of us have some kind of fear like that. Dementia? Broken hip? I mean, even having a routine surgery can be tricky without a spouse. We were suppose to grow old together and care for each other.

It’s been 9 months and lately I have been thinking a lot about my husband’s coworkers. How are they doing? I know they must miss him terribly, you don’t work with people for 15 years and have it not leave a hole. The thing is, I don’t really know them, like barely. We didn’t really hang out, I just know he was well respected and had quite a showing at his funeral. Anyone have ideas on reaching out, sending a note or something? The thing is, it’s not a workplace I can drop by, it’s a private company with security if that makes sense. There’s one person that lives close by, I could send a note or something like food with. What would I say? Or is this a silly idea? Have you done anything?

I qualified for marketplace back in December and it was very reasonable. However, I am being forced to take random cash out payments from an investment all year that I didn’t know would have to be cashed out. My husband with the health insurance passed and this is his company making the payments to me of which I never know the amounts. This current estimate has my health insurance going up significantly. I am estimating $45,000 jumping up to $90,000 income now. Jumping from $15 premium to $1500. Any suggestions?

I have a 18 yo that just graduated. He is working for a year and possibly may go to trade school or apprenticeship. Or not. Who knows.

I started with a Coverdell ESA in Schwab which now has $51,000 in it half of which are in Apple stock. I know, I know I need to sell and diversify.

Then we have 18,000 in a 529 at T-Rowe. That account has been open for 15 years and 9,000 of that I had just transferred over from the ESA to marinate for the 5 years time in the eventual transition to an IRA if this kid doesn’t use it for education.

Question…am I doing this right? What should I have this invested in at this moment in time? Like I said, I know I need to sell that Apple
stock. Taking any and all insight. Anything I’m not thinking of? I’m just kind of in this holding phase not knowing where this kid is headed. We toured several colleges and he adamantly says he is NOT going.

This is a strange question but has anyone moved away from an adult teen? I’m tired of my house and where I live and want to move to a town an hour away. I feel like I did my parenting and I’m tired. I just want to take care of myself. My teen is working right now. I feel like it may be good for him to grow up on his own a bit which won’t happen if I’m there. But I’m afraid of the state of my house if I leave him in it. Should I sell it? Check up on weekends? Hire a maid to pop in? Require video confirmation? Who has done this or is it a crazy idea?

I am just starting the home building process. Not really sure about what I’m doing. Here’s who I’ve contacted. I have a plan and some examples of styles/looks. It’s a fairly simple-shed roof house. All of these builders have good reviews online.

Builder 1- States my roof would be spendy and directs me to visit a spec house. It’s a 2 bedroom one bath, garage. It’s cute but it’s apparent he just would rather use his plan. That made me wonder if all builders just want you to use their plans- at least that’s what the websites look like. Only spoke on the phone, emailed a couple of times and that was that.

Builder 2-some back and forth missed calls and waiting like 2 weeks for a return phone call. An email was sent with photos of my house plans . Talked and it’s apparent he read the email, pulled up the property online, said he could do it, gave some rough estimates, gave me the designer’s number. I call the designer and she says she can’t design for at least 3 or 4 months because she has another business.

Builder 3- same timeline as builder 2 with a very delayed back and forth. But I guess it means they are both busy with actual building. About a month or so after initial contact, meets me on the property to discuss, then back to the office to discuss more. Had my email open with the photos and plans. Design is in house. Was helpful with suggestions.

So far it seems like builder 3 would be the best choice. What do I tell builder 2 if they call back? I don’t know how I would do a price comparison if I need to wait for their designer and also have to pay her separately. What do I need to do further to vet builder 3? Should I seek a builder 4? Thank you.

I’m getting real emotional leading up to my in-laws visiting here very soon. They are staying for 2 weeks with me and it’s been since the funeral 8 months ago. It’s probably irrational but I am afraid of these things like this:

1. Where is this certain item? Oh you got rid of this thing? Like maybe they will want to see a particular personal item and either I will not have it or I sold it or it’s packed away. An example would be, it looks like my husband’s clothes are gone! But they are in my son’s closet.

2. I rearranged the house some. Again, with the asking where certain things are and did I get rid of them—like not keeping my husband’s memory alive. Changing things from how we had it decorated.

3. I realized I have no pictures up! They were all put on the display board at the funeral and everything was shoved in a closet and I haven’t touched them since. I’m not sure if so can mentally pull it back out right now either. There’s things like this I haven’t even thought of. My pictures are on my phone!

4. I haven’t kept up with all of his projects. The yard and garden is not kept up. The garden was his love. So sorry, I can’t do it all. I tried. I’ve called and hired anyone who would come but apparently no one could replace him with all he did.

I guess what it boils down to is I’m afraid of being judged for not being a loving wife who is keeping my husband’s memory alive. My in-laws are nice people. I’m just in the middle of so much processing. Anyone have insight when you’re down the road and seeing the in-laws again?

I’ve had many years of PF off and on, getting shots, inserts, and so on. This was my first time, however, to ask the podiatrist to send me to PT. I was getting PT for my shoulder and that therapist told me there was a lady there who was really good with PF.

First off I am getting taped quite a bit and that’s helped immensely. I am fortunate to have a break for the summer so I’ve only been wearing OOFOS flip flops. Also, I had an unrelated surgery but the Tylenol/celebrex combo benefited my PF greatly.

So the therapist has concentrated on releasing trigger points in my calf, creating space in my ankle joint, teaching me how to stand, sit, and walk. I knew I needed to relearn because of so much compensation. I tend to turn or pronate my foot inward doing all of those things. Now that I know, I have caught myself multiple times doing it unconsciously. I will be working my way into other shoes gradually and practice my new posture exercises. I have been wrongly putting pressure on the fascia instead of the outside of my foot when walking. She said I had high arches which I did not know. Also I recall in the past a podiatrist had sent me to get X-rays and he said one of my legs was slightly shorter than the other leg.

I will update you on the success of the treatment.

Once again bawling in front of a complete stranger. I got a person to come look at some work on the house. Utterly ridiculous that I can’t complete tasks. I thought I could do this. Now I’m scared to call an electrician because I can’t hold my shit together. I have a plumber coming next week. Can I even do that? I made it through a 2 day yard sale with complete strangers and didn’t shed a tear letting go of stuff. It’s been 8 months, I have to know if I can hold my shit together. This complete randomness makes me not trust myself.

My brother is 65 years old in Virginia and he will be getting a share of our parents’ property- probably a minimum of $200,000 but could be as much as $400,000. He has never been good with money. He is remarrried. His wife has I think 2 adult children and he has 2 adult children. One of his children will have to help the other one somewhat because of his disabilities. He is able to hold a job.

I don’t know if I will be successful but I want to persuade him to meet with a lawyer and get a will drawn. I also would like to open an account for him to manage these funds. He doesn’t have much in retirement, just some social security that will be coming in. He doesn’t own a house. I am afraid he will blow through it all, leave nothing for his wife and kids. Or if he dies beforehand, the wife gets it and his kids get nothing. I believe this is my one chance, he may possibly listen to me. What do you suggest having him set up? As a side note, he’s not that great accessing stuff online so if he were able to get a monthly withdrawal to live on, it would be a deterrent for him to just blow it all if it was sitting in his bank account.