u/Common_Kiwi9442

Just paper, pens, maybe color !

I want to try using more apples in my cooking and lean savory. Do you cook anything savory with apples? Recipes? I would love to hear them thank you (: 🍎

Last time I went out, had the car pretty much blow up and couldn't get very far. I don't work on it or drive but i'm told it's been fixed. I'm not rich at all btw don't think I have some kind of driver thing, it's because I can't walk I have chronic nerve pain and a fear of driving. I have previously owned and driven a car but due to abuse by an ex I sold it and never want to try again. I have an important doctor's appointment tomorrow and obviously that experience set me back MAJORLY and has been plaguing me with more fear. I don't want to be scared. Send good vibes and luck if you have any <3

Pain has been very high, there's been a lot of vomiting, nausea, and the other gross stuff. This has happened many times before it usually is like a cyclic thing that lasts a week or two. But it can't be just me. I am on zero medications.

I am so, so exhausted... I try not to let things go bad. I freeze what I know I can't get to. I try to eat fresh healthy foods as much as possible, lots of veg. Had to change my diet a lot and have seen positive results from cutting things out. Often, I end up being mad at myself like I am today cause of yesterday's flare and vomiting I wasn't able to get out of bed. Hopefully I can finish making the soup..

Random question is, does anyone have a favorite kind of kitchen cleaner specifically so the bottle (or what you put in it, cause I will use something and refill it with part bleach and water) is reliably easy to spray?

Will be my first time trying Jin. The blue beef bone broth. Hope it's good

They wonder why I turned to the bottle. There shouldn't be any wondering, but then again a lot of people really think breaking a nail is traumatic. that oh no, they can't get a brand new car to replace their 5 year old brand new car. how tragic. Just do yoga, stop thinking about it, meditate. Lmfao. I am traumatized every day by severe chronic pain caused by DV and my life has been pretty much over for 6 yrs. I'm agoraphobic, can't walk mostly due to nerve pain in my leg, CRPS. Repeatedly traumatized most of my life. Blah blah you need to face your past etc. I have. I've thought about everything I can possibly think about. And then I try to make it GO AWAY because what the fuck, it's not doing me any good. But the photographic memory, pain, trauma, abuse, mind games, gaslighting, heartbreak runs on a loop and doesn't run out of gas.

Anyways, I'm going to be facing some more rough shit coming up and at least I am prepared but I have been DEEP in bottles for a long time with some brief intermissions. I've been hospitalized for DTs and withdrawal cause I love to go on benders, lose my appetite and all sense of time and space. Which is great, honestly, cause I don't have to deal with my brain. But my nervous system being already as fucked up and dysregulated as it is, jesus, I have had so so many instances of withdrawal and DT recurring daily for weeks at a time.

So right now, I'm trying to be strong again. I'm drinking fucking light beer. I can't be going to my new doc on the bottle. I think that's a poor decision, and i'm likely to have withdrawals say, on the day of an appointment, and then I DEFINITELY won't go outside. I'm on crutches and so scared of everything now. I hate myself, I hate the sun, I hate people looking at me (scopophobia), I don't know how to be myself any more.

<3 <3 thanks for being here