21f and I constantly seek reassurance and instant gratification. I can't stop chasing the feeling of relief. Its hard to function normally. Cannot afford therapy right now. Need some help on how to snap out of it. Please leave some advice
I am 20, I struggle with BPD (Borderline personality disorder) and my life has basically collapsed after my dad died and my home life stopped being stable. What used to be a predictable, safe routine with both parents is gone, and now my mom is inconsistent, sometimes caring and financially supportive (she pays for food, gas, etc.), but often emotionally harsh, critical, and dismissive, even saying I’m a “bad person” and threatening to cut me off when I express hurt. Our relationship has become extremely reactive and conflict-heavy she’ll be kind or normal at times, but also emotionally shut down or explosive, and I feel like I’m only valued when I’m useful.
On top of that, my grandma has blocked me and other family members feel distant or avoidant, which is reinforcing this feeling of being rejected and erased. I’ve also had painful experiences with relationships and rejection outside my family, which makes me spiral into feeling disposable and hated by everyone. I know I’m emotionally reactive at times and have contributed to conflict, but overall I feel trapped in a cycle where I desperately want stability, love, and reassurance, but keep getting inconsistent support, criticism, and distance instead, leaving me angry, grieving, isolated, and unsure how to rebuild any sense of control or belonging in my life.
I am 20, I struggle with BPD (Borderline personality disorder) and my life has basically collapsed after my dad died and my home life stopped being stable. What used to be a predictable, safe routine with both parents is gone, and now my mom is inconsistent, sometimes caring and financially supportive (she pays for food, gas, etc.), but often emotionally harsh, critical, and dismissive, even saying I’m a “bad person” and threatening to cut me off when I express hurt. Our relationship has become extremely reactive and conflict-heavy she’ll be kind or normal at times, but also emotionally shut down or explosive, and I feel like I’m only valued when I’m useful.
On top of that, my grandma has blocked me and other family members feel distant or avoidant, which is reinforcing this feeling of being rejected and erased. I’ve also had painful experiences with relationships and rejection outside my family, which makes me spiral into feeling disposable and hated by everyone. I know I’m emotionally reactive at times and have contributed to conflict, but overall I feel trapped in a cycle where I desperately want stability, love, and reassurance, but keep getting inconsistent support, criticism, and distance instead, leaving me angry, grieving, isolated, and unsure how to rebuild any sense of control or belonging in my life.
My main yes or no question: Have I reached a point where enjoying actual sex will be realistically more difficult than the average person? Or can I "return" back to my og state lol?
Been consuming porn since I was 15. I had never had a sexual experience with a guy until I turned 19 or 20.
I noticed that when I lost my virginity, I felt no throbbing sensation. I felt no arousal. I felt nothing basically.
He was eating me out. He was fingering me. He was penetrating me, but for some reason, it didn't feel great.
I can only orgasm when watching porn alone, and sometimes, I have to sit at a certain angle to properly orgasm.
I will say at one point in my late teens I was watching porn compulsively multiple times a day. I used it to cope.
Been consuming porn since I was 15. I had never had a sexual experience with a guy until I turned 19 or 20.
I noticed that when I lost my virginity, I felt no throbbing sensation. I felt no arousal. I felt nothing basically.
He was eating me out. He was fingering me. He was penetrating me, but for some reason, it didn't feel that amazing.
I can only orgasm when watching porn alone, and sometimes, I have to sit at a certain angle to properly orgasm.
I will say at one point in my late teens I was watching porn compulsively multiple times a day. I used it to cope.
I just want some advice on whether or not I've gone too far. Have I reached a point where I've broken myself and enjoying real life sex will be realistically difficult?
20f and I have some pretty prominent ribs, one sticks out further than the other sometimes I feel like I look like Elon Musk. People have told me that they thought they were abs. How do I fix this?
I have some pretty prominent ribs, one sticks out further than the other sometimes I feel like I look like Elon Musk. People have told me that they thought they were abs. How do I fix this?
super embarrassing, but, uploaded two images of my body and one image said it was a man's body, and then the second one said it was a woman's body. So maybe it could be worse? Can you believe i've reached a point in my life where i'm asking AI for reassurance?
But damn, that's crazy. A computer scanned my body and concluded it was a man's body. I guess my body insecurities are accurate! What an amazing feeling as a woman! Hooray!
Advice neeeded! As the title states, I am a second year student going into my third year after the summer. I didn't take any summer courses because I'm an idiot. I only have 42 credits to my degree right now and I was just wondering if the third year and fourth year are gonna be a pain in the butt. I know I can take summer school courses, which would ease my load, but would I have to take an extra semester. For context, I'm in criminology. On top of that my GPA is at a 4.89 right now. I need a 5.00 to graduate. I'm feeling stressed about my future and my capabilities. I feel like I won't get the degree.
19f my boobs are tiny/pointy and nips are puffy and large. recently had a guy walk out on me during sex. ( there are obviously a lot of missing details that I am not going to mention) basically we were having sex and he kept getting up to check his phone and he eventually said he had to go home. this was all after I took my shirt off and exposed my boobs. texted me the next day, but there was no real effort to see me again. we had fucked once before, my shirt stayed on that time. Is it possible he literally left cuz he wasn't into my boobs 😂 I just want to know an accurate read on this. Don't worry about my feelings, this is all for intel on weather or not I should go through with my boob job lol. Did he get turned off and leave cuz of my manly boobs?
guys, please leave some honest opinions. don't feed into my delusions. had a dude walk out on me while having sex, said he was getting texts from his parents and had to go home. kinda laughed as he was going cause "he felt bad". offered to eat me out before leaving. Texted me random shit the next day but seemed distant. Haven't seen him since last week when this happened.
The only reason I can think of is him feeling like my boobs looked funny. I know it sounds crazy but I have a pretty solid feeling about it. Bro looked at them and couldn't get hard perhaps.
Like damn i'm so chopped that you couldn't get your nut off :/ All these questions flood my head, I can't seem to let the situation rest. I know I can't mind read, just asking for other guys opinions on this kind of behaviour. No need to worry about how I feel, leave your thoughts.
guys, please leave some honest opinions. don't feed into my delusions. had a dude walk out on me while having sex, said he was getting texts from his parents and had to go home. kinda laughed as he was going cause "he felt bad". offered to eat me out before leaving. Texted me random shit the next day but seemed distant. Haven't seen him since last week when this happened.
The only reason I can think of is him feeling like my boobs looked funny. I know it sounds crazy but I have a pretty solid feeling about it. Bro looked at them and couldn't get hard perhaps.
Like damn i'm so chopped that you couldn't get your nut off :/ All these questions flood my head, I can't seem to let the situation rest. I know I can't mind read, just asking for other guys opinions on this kind of behaviour. No need to worry about how I feel, leave your thoughts.
guys, please leave some honest opinions. had a dude walk out on me while having sex, said he was getting texts from his parents and had to go home. kinda laughed as he was going cause "he felt bad". offered to eat me out before leaving. Texted me random shit the next day but seemed distant. Haven't seen him since last week when this happened.
The only reason I can think of is him feeling like my boobs looked funny. I just wanna hear if I'm being delusional or if that's kind of a possibility.
I am struggling to believe it. I've had a few people say that guys don't do that and that it's really weird. Like damn i'm so chopped that you couldn't get your nut off :/All these questions flood my head, I can't seem to let the situation rest .
guys, please leave some honest opinions. had a dude walk out on me while having sex, said he was getting texts from his parents and had to go home. kinda laughed as he was going cause "he felt bad". offered to eat me out before leaving. Texted me random shit the next day but seemed distant. Haven't seen him since last week when this happened.
The only reason I can think of is him feeling like my boobs looked funny. I just wanna hear if I'm being delusional or if that's kind of a possibility.
I am struggling to believe it. I've had a few people say that guys don't do that and that it's really weird. Like damn i'm so chopped that you couldn't get your nut off :/All these questions flood my head, I can't seem to let the situation rest .
guys, please leave some honest opinions. had a guy walk out on me while having sex, said he was getting texts from his parents and had to go home. kinda laughed as he was going cause "he felt bad". offered to eat me out before leaving. Texted me random shit the next day but seemed distant. Haven't seen him since last week when this happened.
The only reason I can think of is him feeling like my boobs looked funny. I just wanna hear if I'm being delusional or if that's kind of a possibility.
I am struggling to believe it. I've had a few people say that guys don't do that and that it's really weird. Like damn i'm so chopped that you couldn't get your nut off :/All these questions flood my head, I can't seem to let the situation rest .
i'm 21 in college. I go to the gym. I used to go out quite a bit. I've been on dating apps and I still don't have a boyfriend. I thought this feeling would end after high school but it's just getting worse now. I do struggle with a personality disorder that fucks with my mood and self perception. I basically hate myself and my body.
To think that there hasn't been one person in my life who has chosen me, wanted my body, wanted to be around me and impress me. The thought fucks me up. It is so discouraging and it makes me feel like I shouldn't even be here.
The part I hate most about it is that I want it so bad. That I care enough to the point where it bothers me and ruins my quality of life.
Every single one of my friends have been in relationships. I know I'm not butt fuck ugly. I've had men show interest. I've been on dates. I've done sexual stuff, but I've never had anyone choose me.
I just started reselling. How do you guys decide how to separate your wants from business profit? I found these really pretty pants and they're super cute. They also happen to be in demand and I've had a few people ask to purchase them.
Is it one of those things where these individuals have never been humbled or had anything bad happened to them or is it more like they were raised that way? Do some people simply not experience hardship/ embarrassment or do they just choose to ignore it?
i'm 21 I'm a girl I watch a lot of porn and I masturbate a lot. i've been doing it since my mid to late teen years. Like sometimes compulsively to the point where I was watching crazy genres and I feel like I've developed weird kinks.
I noticed that during real life sexual encounters, like the other day when I lost my virginity, and he was eating me out. I didn't feel a thing. He was fingering me, I didn't feel a thing.
I keep relapsing when my life gets tougher when I feel like there's no hope for me. it's like my justification for it is if you've already gone this far and ruined yourself this much what's the point of stopping .
All I wanna know is that I haven't permanently rewired my brain chemistry to only get off to porn. Like how come during real life sex I can't feel a thing that shouldn't be normal.
I'm concerned that I've become a broken woman. I wanna know is that this is reversible and if I actually quit, it'll help. That I can get my brain to to enjoy sex without porn.