u/Efficient-Ad6814

Hello! I'm currently writing what was supposed to be a tragic-turned-cute romance story.

ANYWAYYYY, it turned into kidnapping, human trafficking, and other unmentionables.

I'm writing the novellas with dual-POVs and would like to know if readers like a bit of a choppier tone?

I want to keep the sentences short, then move on to the next, and so on.

Ex. 'Stand still.

Don't talk.

Don't make noise.

Just breathe.

Obey.

Repeat.

Breathe.

Obey.

Repeat.

The cycle goes on...

I don't remember the last time I saw light.

Heard a voice.

His voice.

Rayce.

He's the only one who ever cared.

Who ever listened.

Who ever treated me like a human.

Human.

What the fuck did that word mean anymore?

I was nothing now.

A toy.

A doll for their amusement.

Don't talk.

Just breathe.

Obey.

Repeat.'

I'm trying to keep the tone more frantic, disconnected, staccato, etc. to mimic the 2 main MMC's thought processes.

I'd love some more opinions. Both stories will be under 100 pages when they're finished. Should I keep this pacing or go with a few sentences in each paragraph?

Note; The first story is a lot more dialogue and sentences per paragraph. This second story is meant to be frantic.

My 2yo has had eczema her whole life basically and I have tried everything to fix it. She's currently on hydrocortisone, and it isn't doing anything for her. I need help bad, I feel horrible that she's getting outcast by her sister's family just because she has eczema and everyone thinks it's not that (it 100% is, none of us living with her have it). I just don't know what to do anymore, she's literally scratching herself raw.

Just discovered this today and I'm absolutely obsessed. I'm looking for more deathcore like this (cattle decapitation being the closest I've found so far)

Why was it removed?? I used that app so often for my writing help. I'll never find one as good, brb literally crying 😭

Hi! I live in EC and will be starting a factory job Monday. I did post on Facebook looking for clothing, but was seeing if anyone here could help as well? I'm just looking for some medium shirts and size 14 jeans for work. I can buy the jeans if I need to but I don't have a ton of extra money currently.

If anyone has anything they're looking to get rid of I can come pick up whenever. Anything helps. Thank you!

Hello, I'm looking for some help. I start a new job Monday and just found out that my jeep has a lean engine code from getting it tested at O'Reillys. The brakes also are not great, but they do work good enough. The only problem is, the job is 30 minutes away from me. Can I drive it there and back until this Friday when I can start taking an Uber/Lyft? I'll be using that after this weekend until my first check comes, and I can bring the jeep in.

I need help getting black hair dye off a ceramic bathroom sink. It's old and I didn't clean it right away and now I'm paying for it lol. I rent so I want it to look clean

I have 2. Looking to get rid of for today if anyone wants them feel free to pm me. They're free

This may be the best show I've ever seen. Hands down. It's reminiscent of Don't hug me I'm scared, llamas with hats, Charlie the unicorn, etc. It really reminds me of the old YouTube days and the stuff I grew up on. I'm obsessed. I love it. This might just be my new favorite thing lol.

How can I get rid of them? My cat killed one and I released 3 more. I don't want to kill them if I can help it and I can't have poison because I have toddlers and obviously a cat lol. I need them gone

I've been having horrible migraines for the last 2 weeks. Usually they're not this bad, but it prompted me to get in to see someone asap.

My dr prescribed nurtec and I just want to know what type experiences are with it? Did it help? I just took my first dose

As the title says, I'm trying to make an almost completely eco city without any packs. Is this possible? I'm already working on getting rid of the factories and changing them for offices, and I'm working on trying to clear out my lake from all of the crap in it currently. Any other tips?

As the title states. It's a kids YouTube channel that my kid absolutely LOVES. I will not let her watch it now because the more I see, the more I realize how not ok it is. (After seeing this page, it absolutely sickens me how people treat such intelligent animals like this).

Does anyone have any more info on it? They seem to have other animals that also interact with the monkeys, and it seems to be a German channel.

I just want to know what more I can do about it in terms of reporting if they actually are abusing their monkeys.