anxiety on vyvanse and it makes me productive but changes my personality (30mg). afraid to lose my job without it. what should I do?
I’m taking 30mg Vyvanse since 2022 for ADHD and it definitely helps my work performance a lot. I can focus, get things done, stay organized etc. My life improved a lot because of it and I’m earning decent money now thanks to being functional.
But socially and emotionally I feel like a different person in a bad way.
I become way more strict, rigid, serious and emotionally cold. I overfocus on things and lose my normal relaxed personality. People seem to avoid me more and I honestly feel less fun to be around. Life feels less enjoyable even though I’m functioning better.
I also sometimes get uncomfortable tension/restlessness on it and feel aggressive or nervous if I can’t move around.
Externally I probably look more “high functioning” but internally I feel less human and less like myself. I might also have autistic traits and on Vyvanse they feel much stronger socially.
It got better when I started drinking a lot more water, but the anxiety when the meds wear off is still really bad. I start overthinking everything and become scared of the future. Sometimes I even get depressed thinking about death or bad things eventually happening no matter what, and it really sucks the happiness out of me. The next morning I’m usually fine again though.
I’m trying to figure out if this means the medication isn’t right for me. But at the same time I feel like my life would fall apart without it because I probably couldn’t keep my job long term unmedicated.
Has anyone experienced something similar on 30mg? Would appreciate honest experiences/advice.