u/Frozenyogurtplz

I’m 28. Single. Back in school so i’m currently living with my parents. All my friends are engaged or married, having kids, and making good money. It feels like there’s no one single left. I love my friends but nothing about our hangout sessions make me feel excited. I miss having joy and less stress. I don’t like what I see in the mirror anymore. Im a healthy weight but it’s distributed differently. I notice signs of aging. I have social anxiety. Live in a small town so I know everyone already and don’t feel like I can reinvent myself.

I practice positive self talk but nothing about my life backs up what I say. I’m lonely and feel behind. I have no one to get dressed up and go out with. No one to travel with. No one to go out and meet people with. I miss having people to go shopping with it just causally chill with too. Hanging out with friends is just planning brunch a week in advance with a designated start and end time.. Logically I know I am doing what I need to do to get on my feet, so I can move away and restart. But for right now I feel trapped and like my youth is wasting away.

I have no one to hype me up and I think I really need that. So here I am, asking strangers online to do just that. Kinda pathetic but my brain can’t seem to do it on its own. Please give me your best advice, or share with me what you say to yourself when you need to feel better about your life.

I’m 28. Single. Back in school so i’m currently living with my parents. All my friends are engaged or married, having kids, and making good money. It feels like there’s no one single left. I love my friends but nothing about our hangout sessions make me feel excited. I miss having joy and less stress. I don’t like what I see in the mirror anymore. Im a healthy weight but it’s distributed differently. I notice signs of aging. I have social anxiety. Live in a small town so I know everyone already and don’t feel like I can reinvent myself.

I practice positive self talk but nothing about my life backs up what I say. I’m lonely and feel behind. I have no one to get dressed up and go out with. No one to travel with. No one to go out and meet people with. I miss having people to go shopping with it just causally chill with too. Hanging out with friends is just planning brunch a week in advance with a designated start and end time.. Logically I know I am doing what I need to do to get on my feet, so I can move away and restart. But for right now I feel trapped and like my youth is wasting away.

I have no one to hype me up and I think I really need that. So here I am, asking strangers online to do just that. Kinda pathetic but my brain can’t seem to do it on its own. Please give me your best advice, or share with me what you say to yourself when you need to feel better about your life.

How do I feel good about myself again?

I’m 28. Single. Back in school so i’m currently living with my parents. All my friends are engaged or married, having kids, and making good money. It feels like there’s no one single left. I love my friends but nothing about our hangout sessions make me feel excited. I miss having joy and less stress. I don’t like what I see in the mirror anymore. Im a healthy weight but it’s distributed differently. I notice signs of aging. I have social anxiety. Live in a small town so I know everyone already and don’t feel like I can reinvent myself.

I practice positive self talk but nothing about my life backs up what I say. I’m lonely and feel behind. I have no one to get dressed up and go out with. No one to travel with. No one to go out and meet people with. I miss having people to go shopping with it just causally chill with too. Hanging out with friends is just planning brunch a week in advance with a designated start and end time.. Logically I know I am doing what I need to do to get on my feet, so I can move away and restart. But for right now I feel trapped and like my youth is wasting away.

I have no one to hype me up and I think I really need that. So here I am, asking strangers online to do just that. Kinda pathetic but my brain can’t seem to do it on its own. Please give me your best advice, or share with me what you say to yourself when you need to feel better about your life.

This first started a year ago when I quit vaping and it continued everyday for about 3 months.. Two months ago I unfortunately started vaping again and everyday, multiple times a day for the last month I have to violently blow my nose for about 5 minutes. Sometimes multiple times a day. I don’t sound congested so I don’t know where it’s all coming from and how it builds up so fast.

But i’m not kidding when I say the amount a produce collectively everyday is golf ball sized. Idk how it fits in there. Maybe it’s a coincidence and it’s from allergies, but it seems like it’s from the vape maybe irritating my sinuses? I take a daily antihistamine and use flonase. I need to stop vaping. But just wondering if anyone else experiences this and what they do to help?

So i’ll try to be brief but I think context is important so here is our story:

We were together a total of 5 years. I (currently 29f) moved back to my home state after a year of long distance with him (currently 28m) to pursue things. I moved in with my parents temporarily so we could look for a place together. But after 4 years of waiting, it never happened. His situation kept changing and he was never stable. He grew very extreme in his beliefs, couldn’t hold a job more than 8 months, never took real accountability for his fuck ups, totaled multiple cars, etc. He was good to me in general and respected me, we would have long stretches where his head seemed to be on straight and he was moving in the right direction, which kept me hopeful and happy. Until he’d self sabotage, or mess up again or something.. Our values grew to be very mismatched. He never seemed to grow up or learn from lessons, while I did.. He was a huge stoner which I always knew, but it grew to be bothersome.. Then in May of 2025 I found out he was using cocaine regularly so that was the cherry on top and I ended it.

About a month later, after lots of talking, him accepting accountability and him promising to stop the cocaine we got back together. From my knowledge he really did actually stop using (no more sniffling, he gained weight and looked healthier). But his behavior and attitude never changed. I don’t think I gave him enough time to recover to be honest, but I didn’t care anymore. I still loved him so much but I didn’t like who he was. I was embarrassed by him and that’s not right. so in July 2025 I broke up with him for good. It kind of happened impulsively during a fight and I told him I would talk to him after some space.

For about 3 weeks we didn’t see each other, he sent me multiple texts of paragraphs of how sorry he was and he wanted to work on things. I still loved him so much and it hurt bad, but the space only made me more confident in my choice. His birthday came up and I canceled the camping reservations we had. He wanted us to go together but I didn’t want to shit on his birthday so I said I wasn’t ready to talk and wished him a happy birthday and that I was so sorry it had to be that way.. I even texted his sister to make sure he wouldn’t be alone and made sure he’d do something fun. That’s when it must have clicked for him we were truly done.. A week later we did meet up and talked and he was very stoic and acted like he was over it. We were very amicable, I said I thought we weren’t good for each other and he agreed. We hugged goodbye and that was it.

a few months later I ran into his sisters boyfriend at the bar. I was drunk (special occasion - thanksgiving eve). I found out they also broke up but he told me my ex handled our breakup poorly, had a really hard time and kept drinking, so much so that he kept peeing the bed. I felt terrible about this, like sick to my stomach guilty, but it also reinforced my decision.

We have exchanged brief texts maybe 3 times since we broke up. Once when he asked if I wanted my stuff back. Another when he wished me a happy birthday at 11:59 pm the day of and I said “thanks I hope you are doing well!” and he liked it but never answered. And a third time when I had to ask him about repairs he did on my car a while back.

I have wanted to reach out and talk and check in, all year. I loved him so much and part of me still does. I want him to be good and be the best version of himself and know he’s okay and happy. Not because I want to get back together, I don’t. I just care about him. He was a huge part of my life for a long time… So.. I haven’t. I didn’t want to confuse him or cause him any additional pain. I have always thought the best way to let go, was no contact.

But now it’s a year later. We broke up a year ago. His birthday is in 2 days. I’ll text him and say happy birthday, like he did for me. but would it be appropriate to try and catch up a bit? Do you think it could still cause him pain?

So i’ll try to be brief but I think context is important so here is our story:

We were together a total of 5 years. I (currently 29f) moved back to my home state after a year of long distance with him (currently 28m) to pursue things. I moved in with my parents temporarily so we could look for a place together. But after 4 years of waiting, it never happened. His situation kept changing and he was never stable. He grew very extreme in his beliefs, couldn’t hold a job more than 8 months, never took real accountability for his fuck ups, totaled multiple cars, etc. He drank a lot before we were together and had a previous DWI. He didn’t drink as much during our relationship but when he did he would get really intense before drinking himself into a coma.

He was good to me in general, and seemed to really care. we would have long stretches where his head seemed to be on straight and he was moving in the right direction, which kept me hopeful and happy. Until he’d self sabotage, or mess up again or something.. Our values grew to be very mismatched. He never seemed to grow up or learn from lessons, while I did.. He was a huge stoner which I always knew, it’s legal here so I thought it was no big deal at first, but definitely grew to be bothersome.. Then in May of 2025 I found out he was using cocaine multiple times a day for probably at least 2 years. He hid it from me. There were obvious signs that I missed, since i’ve never been around that type of thing. So, that was the cherry on top and I ended it.

About a month later, after lots of talking, him accepting accountability and him promising to stop the cocaine we got back together. From my knowledge he really did actually stop using (no more sniffling, he gained weight and looked healthier). But his behavior and attitude never changed. I don’t think I gave him enough time to recover to be honest, but I didn’t care anymore. I still loved him so much but I didn’t like who he was. I was embarrassed by him and that’s not right. so in July 2025 I broke up with him for good. It kind of happened impulsively during a fight and I told him I would talk to him after some space.

For about 3 weeks we didn’t see each other, he sent me multiple texts of paragraphs of how sorry he was and he wanted to work on things. I still loved him so much and it hurt bad, but the space only made me more confident in my choice. His birthday came up and I canceled the camping reservations we had. He wanted us to go together but I didn’t want to shit on his birthday so I said I wasn’t ready to talk and wished him a happy birthday and that I was so sorry it had to be that way.. I even texted his sister to make sure he wouldn’t be alone and made sure he’d do something fun. That’s when it must have clicked for him we were truly done.. A week later we did meet up and talked and he was very stoic and acted like he was over it. We were very amicable, I said I thought we weren’t good for each other and he agreed. We hugged goodbye and that was it.

3 months later I ran into his sisters boyfriend at the bar. I was drunk (special occasion - thanksgiving eve). I found out they also broke up but he told me my ex handled our breakup poorly, had a really hard time and kept drinking, so much so that he kept peeing the bed. I felt terrible about this, like sick to my stomach guilty, but it also reinforced my decision.

We have exchanged brief texts maybe 3 times since we broke up. Once when he asked if I wanted my stuff back. Another when he wished me a happy birthday at 11:59 pm my birthday and I said “thanks I hope you are doing well!” and he liked it but never answered. And a third time when I had to ask him about repairs he did on my car a while back.

I have wanted to reach out and talk and check in, all year. I loved him so much and part of me still does. I want him to be good and be the best version of himself and know he’s okay and happy. Not because I want to get back together, I don’t. I just care about him. He was a huge part of my life for a long time… So.. I haven’t. I didn’t want to confuse him or cause him any additional pain. I have always thought the best way to let go, was no contact.

But now it’s a year later. We broke up a year ago. His birthday is in 2 days. I’ll text him and say happy birthday regardless, like he did for me. but would it be appropriate to try and catch up a bit? Do you think it could still cause him pain?h

If you visit other villages there’s often 4 people living in the bigger houses. Why can’t we have more than one kid?

I had a “dream?” that I was asleep and was suddenly woken up because my cat was on my bedside table hissing at my bedroom window which was open but has a screen. I could not see the window from the angle of my bed but in response to her hiss I heard a man say “shush”. and I immediately knew he was trying to break in my window.

I was trying to scream and turn to look at the window and I couldn’t. No sound came out. My mouth was too heavy to open and my arms wouldn’t move.. I then became aware that the feeling of not being able to react was part of a dream and that there was no man at all. I then became aware that my eyes were closed and i could now hear my (real) bedroom tv. I then had to tell myself “okay you are actually awake now, you can open your eyes and move”, and it felt like my brain took a few seconds to respond to this and I still felt so heavy. Once I was able to open my eyes it took another few seconds to move my arm. Even though I knew I was for real awake, I still had a sensation that I wasn’t, until I was able to sit up and see that my window was closed and my cat wasn’t anywhere near me, that’s when I felt fully awake and calmed down. (My cat then actually immediately came into my room and cuddled up next to me and licked my arm, like she knew or something🥲)

I know I had a false awakening while I believed the man was real, but I can’t pinpoint when I actually woke up and how much of me not being able to move was part of the dream or real.. So was that lucid dreaming or sleep paralysis? I know this probably sounds so dull to all you seasoned sleep issues people, but I have never had anything like that and it’s not what I imagined it would be like.

I had a “dream?” that I was asleep and was suddenly woken up because my cat was on my bedside table hissing at my bedroom window which was open but has a screen. I could not see the window from the angle of my bed but in response to her hiss I heard a man say “shush”. and I immediately knew he was trying to break in my window.

I was trying to scream and turn to look at the window and I couldn’t. No sound came out. My mouth was too heavy to open and my arms wouldn’t move.. I then became aware that the feeling of not being able to react was part of a dream and that there was no man at all. I then became aware that my eyes were closed and i could now hear my (real) bedroom tv. I then had to tell myself “okay you are actually awake now, you can open your eyes and move”, and it felt like my brain took like 30 seconds to respond to my attempt to move and I still felt so heavy. Once I was able to open my eyes it took another few seconds to move my arm. Even though I knew I was for real awake now, I still had a sensation that I kind of wasn’t.. after a minute once I was able to sit up and see that my window was closed and my cat wasn’t anywhere near me, that’s when I felt fully awake. (My cat then immediately came into my room and cuddled up next to me and licked my arm, like she knew or something🥲)

Was that lucid dreaming or sleep paralysis? I know this probably sounds so dull to all you seasoned sleep issues people, but I have never had anything like that and it’s not what I imagined it would be like.

Hopefully this doesn’t come across rude. I am intrigued by astrology and find it to be pretty accurate.. I am a Capricorn so I tend to understand things best if there’s an objective explanation (maybe that’s why I can’t seem to understand?).. My uneducated way of wrapping my head around it, is that it’s kind of like how the moon impacts the ocean tides, based on position and energy/gravity..

So in the case of astrology.. Is it like the energy/force pulling between the sun, planets, stars, universe, plus your specific position on the earth and the energy you were born into, absorbed at different angles and times of day.. is this energy what influences who we are and how we move through life?

I cant fully understand it when it’s described as just a perspective of the planets and stars positions from earth.. because I pay no attention to where they are, I don’t personally perceive it, so how can something i’ve never looked at or thought much about, shape who I am?

Someone please explain the science to me like i’m 5.

Context: sorry it’s kinda long but I didn’t wanna leave out important info..

My 6 yo girl HATES other cats. She’s always been terrified of them. She was almost killed by another cat as a kitten and had to be isolated from other kittens during recovery, so I think it’s just how her brain is wired. Unfortunately we had to move in my parents a few years ago and they have two cats. We tried slow intros, scent swapping, vet consultations at the beginning, and all of the things to no avail. At this point we are past the point of introducing them. My cat’s safe space is my bedroom and bathroom which she rarely leaves on her own.. It’s a relatively small space but I will carry her out to the catio often, and she’s got lots of play and stimulation.

My moms got 2 cats. A boy and girl. All 3 are spayed/neutered… My cat and my mom’s female cat don’t get along at all. If my cat ventures out of my room, she usually gets chased back to it, by my mom’s girl. My cat will run from her and hiss. My mom’s cat is a sweet girl, but I think it’s a territorial thing for her and senses my cats fear. She occasionally corners my cat and I have to intervene. My mom’s cat does not come into my bedroom at all, so thankfully she has a safe sanctuary from her… OCCASIONALLY they will be in the same room, if my cat decides to be brave and come out, and if I am between them.

My mom also has a 1 year old, orange tabby boy, that my cat tolerates sometimes. Usually she will hiss and hide, and might even swat at him if he gets too close, but allows him to come in and play with her toys or sit on the perch. He will occasionally show signs he wants to play with her/pounce, and to that I intervene and put myself between them before my cat has a chance to get defensive.. or I will carry him out of my room, so my cat feels comfortable in her own space. He has been swatted at enough and removed from the room enough times, that I think he is getting the idea to stay at arms length.. But if theres any chance of them getting along and coexisting, I want to promote it.

In situations where they are near each other, past her usual boundary, or when my cat allows him to sniff her a little, I usually try to gently verbally praise her. I’ll pet her, so she knows i’m here and I’ve got her back, which usually seems to prevent or delay her from freaking out.. and i’ll try to give them both treats or pull out a toy, to lessen any tension..

Is this what I should be doing in these situations? or do you think I am reinforcing her fear?

I have a colonoscopy in 6 days - Monday the 29th,
I just read my prep papers and it says not to eat fruits or veggies that are leafy, have skin or seeds. No whole grains. No nuts. No fatty meats. No beans or lentils. No dairy. Nothing colorful. FOR A WHOLE WEEK?! (and of course only clear liquids the day before)

I am kinda confused, because the only things in these categories I can think of that would be okay and I have easy access to is chicken, bananas, white rice, and maybe skinless potatoes? Wouldn’t this harm my health after a whole week? Should I just eat like spaghettiOs and processed carbs all week? lol

I already had air fried zucchini, potatoes, peppers and onions for dinner tonight (they were soft/soggy) and I had salad yesterday before I read the instructions. My mom just had a colonoscopy and she said she only had to cut out foods for 3 days.. Is there a reason I can’t just do the 3 days like she did? Or should I stop after this meal?

In case it matters, I am 28, female. Have had alternating constipation and diarrhea regularly for years, but last month I had an episode where I was passing maroon blood with clots, was in severe pain, and was diagnosed with Colitis based on a CT scan and symptoms at the ER. I haven’t really had a normal bowel movement since then. They’ve all been mushy and unusually orange or green. So that’s why i’m getting the colonoscopy.