u/Kaen_Ko

After years of struggling with my mental health, I’ve finally find someone.
I’ve been hurting myself, trying to off myself, having depressive and manic episodes, both with psychotic symptoms, all of that while also suffering from bpd.

After the abuse I went through for years when I was young, I found a guy who understood me, who didn’t blame me, who wanted me as I was. He said he loved me, he said he wants to be with me forever and that he’ll love me forever.

He was with me during my breakdowns. When I tried to take dozens of pills, when I thought he hated me and didn’t care about me, and I was too needy because of my abandonment issues.

I was so toxic, and I loved him so much I would have done anything for him. But I couldn’t deal with my illnesses and he ended up saying I was too much for him. And I did this, I pushed it and made him suffer while he was depressed and hurting himself as well.

I wanted to help him, to be there for him, and I was. But maybe I wasn’t enough for him, or maybe I was too much for him to handle. I always said he didn’t want me, that’ll he dump me, and I couldn’t control what came out of me. And he suffered until he was done.

It lasted for only 3 months, but it was so intense for me.

I wish I could fix this. Not even in the sense of being a couple again. In the sense that he should have never suffered in the first place.

He ended up breaking up with me a day before my birthday. I basically begged him to stay but it didn’t help, bc he was suffering with me. Then on my birthday wanted to get back together and I agreed, and then because of his depression he ghosted me for a month.

Now we’re kind of talking, but I think that he doesn’t even like anymore.

Also, I am getting psychiatric and psychological help, and I’m better.

(TL;DR): I’m bipolar and have BPD and think I’ve been toxic with my ex and ruined our relationship, but now we’re talking again. What do you think I should do?

After years of struggling with my mental health, I’ve finally find someone.
I’ve been hurting myself, trying to off myself, having depressive and manic episodes, both with psychotic symptoms, all of that while also suffering from bpd.

After the abuse I went through for years when I was young, I found a guy who understood me, who didn’t blame me, who wanted me as I was. He said he loved me, he said he wants to be with me forever and that he’ll love me forever.

He was with me during my breakdowns. When I tried to take dozens of pills, when I thought he hated me and didn’t care about me, and I was too needy because of my abandonment issues.

I was so toxic, and I loved him so much I would have done anything for him. But I couldn’t deal with my illnesses and he ended up saying I was too much for him. And I did this, I pushed it and made him suffer while he was depressed and hurting himself as well.

I wanted to help him, to be there for him, and I was. But maybe I wasn’t enough for him, or maybe I was too much for him to handle. I always said he didn’t want me, that’ll he dump me, and I couldn’t control what came out of me. And he suffered until he was done.

It lasted for only 3 months, but it was so intense for me.

I wish I could fix this. Not even in the sense of being a couple again. In the sense that he should have never suffered in the first place.

He ended up breaking up with me a day before my birthday. I basically begged him to stay but it didn’t help, bc he was suffering with me. Then on my birthday wanted to get back together and I agreed, and then because of his depression he ghosted me for a month.

Now we’re kind of talking, but I think that he doesn’t even like anymore.

After years of struggling with my mental health, I’ve finally find someone.
I’ve been hurting myself, trying to off myself, having depressive and manic episodes, both with psychotic symptoms, all of that while also suffering from bpd.

After the abuse I went through for years when I was young, I found a guy who understood me, who didn’t blame me, who wanted me as I was. He said he loved me, he said he wants to be with me forever and that he’ll love me forever.

He was with me during my breakdowns. When I tried to take dozens of pills, when I thought he hated me and didn’t care about me, and I was too needy because of my abandonment issues.

I was so toxic, and I loved him so much I would have done anything for him. But I couldn’t deal with my illnesses and he ended up saying I was too much for him. And I did this, I pushed it and made him suffer while he was depressed and hurting himself as well.

I wanted to help him, to be there for him, and I was. But maybe I wasn’t enough for him, or maybe I was too much for him to handle. I always said he didn’t want me, that’ll he dump me, and I couldn’t control what came out of me. And he suffered until he was done.

I wish I could fix this. Not even in the sense of being a couple again. In the sense that he should have never suffered in the first place.

He ended up breaking up with me a day before my birthday. I basically begged him to stay but it didn’t help, bc he was suffering with me. Then on my birthday wanted to get back together and I agreed, and then because of his depression he ghosted me for a month.

Now we’re kind of talking, but I know that he doesn’t even like anymore.

After years of struggling with my mental health, I’ve finally find someone.
I’ve been hurting myself, trying to off myself, having depressive and manic episodes, both with psychotic symptoms, all of that while also suffering from bpd.

After the abuse I went through for years, I found a guy who understood me, who didn’t blame me, who wanted me as I was. He said he loved me, he said he wants to be with me forever and that he’ll love me forever.

He was with me during my breakdowns. When I tried to take dozens of pills, when I thought he hated me and didn’t care about me, and I was too needy because of my abandonment issues.

I was so toxic, and I loved him so much I would have done anything for him. But I couldn’t deal with my illnesses and he ended up saying I was too much for him. And I did this, I pushed it and made him suffer while he was depressed and hurting himself as well.

I wanted to help him, to be there for him, and I was. But maybe I wasn’t enough for him, or maybe I was too much for him to handle. I always said he didn’t want me, that’ll he dump me, and I couldn’t control what came out of me. And he suffered until he was done.

I wish I could fix this. Not even in the sense of being a couple again. In the sense that he should have never suffered in the first place.

He ended up breaking up with me a day before my birthday. I basically begged him to stay but it didn’t help, bc he was suffering with me. Then on my birthday wanted to get back together and I agreed, and then because of his depression he ghosted me for a month.

Now we’re kind of talking, but I know that he doesn’t even like anymore.

For a few months now I’ve been seeing these two numbers connected like almost every other day.

Do you guys think there’s a reason?

Please read EVERYTHING before reaching out.

Please state your age and where you are from if you want to try and chat with me :>
Due to time zones I prefer people in NA or Europe, and I generally prefer people around my ages (18-22).
If it’s okay, I’d like people who respond quite fast. You don’t have to respond immediately, because I’m busy too sometimes, so just let me know when you are.
Also, I’d like a long term friendship.

Well, I’ve been through a lot this year. I’ve kept in secret for years the abuse I went through when I was young, and recently it all flooded. I was depressed, and then manic and then depressed again and it is a cycle that never ends. Yes, I’m bipolar (type I).
During the recent big depression episode, I’ve tried to off myself (OD 100 pills).
I went to a psych ward afterwards, and have been in inpatient care for 3 months. Two months after getting released, I’ve had a manic episode which I’m still in the middle of, but now I take meds so I’m somewhat better.

I really like baking and cooking, painting, going on walks, reading and writing and listening to music (mostly “classic” rock).

Please reach out if you’re comfortable with all of that, and if you think we’d hit it off :>

I truly, truly need help.

For background, ive been sexually abused for years when i was very young by a family friend who babysitted me as well. He r@ped me every other week, almost every time he was in my house. And the later, abused by my best friend of the same age as me.

Since then, I’ve been hurting myself physically, and I’ve tried to kill my self dozens of times.

My last huge OD (of 100 pills) ended up in me being treated in inpatient care in a psych ward for about 3 months, and I’ve been released 3 months ago.

There were episodes in which I’d do really dangerous stuff, including sexual, since I was very young.
And now I was diagnosed as bipolar, so I’m totally crushing out.

I truly, truly need help.

For background, ive been sexually abused for years when i was very young by a family friend who babysitted me as well. He r@ped me every other week, almost every time he was in my house. And the later, abused by my best friend of the same age as me.

Since then, I’ve been hurting myself physically, and I’ve tried to kill my self dozens of times.

My last huge OD (of 100 pills) ended up in me being treated in inpatient care in a psych ward for about 3 months, and I’ve been released 3 months ago.

There were episodes in which I’d do really dangerous stuff, including sexual, since I was very young.
And now I was diagnosed as bipolar, so I’m totally crushing out.

I don’t even want to share anything.

I’m just so done living with this, I’m so done having people think they can take advantage of me because I’m bipolar and have mental illnesses.

I’m so done seeing little girls and thinking what if they need help like I needed help.

I’m so done of being manic and then seeking the same thing that made me as messed up.

so almost nobody I know actually likes this song, even after I shared it with them and told them about its meaning.

It’s such a beautiful song that it brings me to tears EVERY-TIME. Especially because it talks about (at least my interpretation) how we could find hope after a difficult period in our life, and how we should find love and comfort in the people around us, offering support and enfolding us with their love.

If anybody is interested, please take a moment and listen to Enter One by Sol Seppy!