u/Mellonheaduq

You know shit is bad when your heart starts beating and your body tenses every time you’re near your father or you hear his voice.

I genuinely don’t care what time I work as long as it doesn’t mess up my sleep/grades. However, I don’t know if coming home at 11pm is the move.

I’m entering college after high-school and I want to work during the weekends. One thing I’m worried about is whether it would be overwhelming or not since I’ve heard that college can be very difficult. I’d love to hear about your experiences working weekends!

I somehow got to the point where I sleep for 5-4 hours every night and 1 hour during the day time and it’s killing me because I spend the rest of the day tired and sleepy. Plus that 1 hour nap takes away from my time where I could work. I want to get back to my original 9 hours every night sleep schedule because I was actually so energized from it the whole day. If you have any tips or ideas on going back to a 9 hour sleep schedule without pulling an all nighter— I can’t pull an all nighter for the life of me— please help🙏

I genuinely hate this man because he never takes accountability. He always finds a way in his head to make himself a good guy in every situation where he’s been the perpetrator. Today I asked him where he got this food that he was eating from and he said that I have to make my own food. He went on a whole rant that no one in this house wants to make food: “you all just want to be babies”. Mind you, this man makes the house dirty, never washes the dishes, never cleans any part of the house, never flushes the toilet or wipes the seat, always wants to be babied, never takes criticism without raising hell, beefs with people decades younger than him, and never cuts the grass under the excuse “I pay bills” like my mom isn’t doing all that house work and paying bills. Even if he didn’t have kids he’d have to do all that too. Isn’t it common knowledge that the bare minimum you could do for your children is pay bills??? Like that’s literally in the list of responsibilities that come with choosing to have children. Any time we ask him to do something nice for us he just says that we want him to do everything for us—be so for real right now. Anyway I was like ugh I’m not dealing with his shitty attitude today in the morning and walked away. All I did was ask a simple question and he wants to fight with me. Ten minutes later my sister comes in the room and he asks her “do you want [the food he was eating]” right in front of me. This flabbergasted me because the other day he was blaming my mom for making me and my sister hate each other/have a rocky relationship when it literally stemmed from him too. Him and his favoritism games, him with his misplaced anger towards me ever since I was a born and never my sister. He would always let my sister bully me when I was younger and would excuse it with “she likes you” comment when you can clearly see that the way she acted towards me wasn’t like/love but harassment/hate. This is the same man who also says we treat him like shit when it’s really just a response for how he has treated us, all the bullshit he’s put us through in the past few years—I mean this man literally laid a hand on everyone in this house while no one here has laid a hand on him. Like if you raised a family based on hate, hypocrisy, violence and abuse disguised as “discipline”, coldness, and no care or love whatsoever don’t be surprised that they’ll hate you in years to come.

I’m low-key regretting it because of how much physical work it is and how boring it can be at times but I’m gonna have to push through until the season’s over.

I wish I paid attention in math when I was younger instead of daydreaming all the time. Now I’m trying to learn the foundations of math in order to get better at math but I don’t know where to start. Do I start with the basics (addition subtraction, fractions, etc.)? Where should I start?

I was diagnosed with severe allergies about a year ago, which honestly wasn’t surprising considering I had been suffering almost every single day at school, at home, and at work. I constantly dealt with blocked sinuses, a congested nose, throat irritation, and tiny bumps and rashes on my skin. It got so bad that I could barely concentrate in class because I was constantly having to sniffle and hold back mucus because of how blocked my nose was.

After finally getting diagnosed and receiving proper medication, I look back and realize how much of the pain and suffering I went through could have been avoided if my parents hadn’t been so skeptical of “Western” medicine. There was a point where I was missing school almost every day because I felt so sick, yet they would accuse me of faking it and insist that I just needed to drink lemon water mixed with ginger and garlic every day to get better. Bffr.

They were literally blaming me for having severe allergies and forcing me to push through the pain. I begged them repeatedly to take me to a doctor so I could get a referral to an immunologist, but I was a minor and couldn’t do it myself. They kept saying I was overreacting and that all I needed were their homemade concoctions. They even claimed that Western doctors lie just to make money, so I would supposedly be wasting their money for no reason. They acted as if doctors wouldn’t even be able to help me and somehow made it seem like being sick was my fault because I supposedly didn’t want to drink lemon, ginger, and garlic water. Mind you, I eat relatively healthy and exercise from time to time.

At one point, both of my parents even told me that I was sick because I had become an atheist and that the devil was living inside me. Da fuq?

My allergies eventually became so severe that I struggled to sleep every night because of my blocked nose, and I could barely concentrate in class because I constantly had a runny nose. I finally became so fed up that I started bothering my parents every single day. I called them, texted them, yelled at them, and constantly begged them to take me to a doctor. I even tried asking the school nurse to convince them that I needed medical attention, but she wasn’t able to.
Eventually, my parents got so tired of me constantly asking that they finally took me to a doctor. The doctor referred me to an immunologist, and that’s when I found out that I was severely allergic to a huge number of things, including trees, grass, mold, dust mites, cats, dogs, and more. The immunologist prescribed antihistamines and even recommended allergy shots. Once I started taking the medication, my quality of life improved so much.

I genuinely did not need to suffer for that long just to receive treatment for allergies. When will some African parents realize that just because they never encountered or witnessed a certain illness in their villages does not mean that illness doesn’t exist? There is absolutely no reason to make your child’s life harder because of uneducated assumptions that allergies aren’t real or that being sick must somehow be the result of the devil.

Presently: now my mom tries to steal my allergy meds from time to time when she’s sick because she thinks that it would work for her as it does with me. She will do this while simultaneously telling me that taking my allergy medicine everyday like a diabetic is bad for me and that I should stop🤦‍♀️

Right now I’m in the midst of deciding what to major in and part of me wants to major History and have a minor in creative writing, while the other part wants to go into pre-med for the money. I’m great at science, English, and history and I hate math so majoring in Biology won’t be too much of a struggle, the pre-reqs that require math would be dreadful but I know I could push through it since I took college level math classes in highschool. I’m just so tired of being poor all my life so the main reason I want to go into STEM is solely for financial reasons, but I can’t help but think I would be miserable since I’m more passionate about humanities. With STEM, I would struggle in my 20s then for the rest of my life I’m successful. With humanities, especially with a history degree, I would be pretty happy with my life during the course of 4 years then struggle financially in the future, maybe for the rest of my life. I’m so exhausted going back and forth between the two. Which major should I pick that would actually benefit me?

The white man’s religion being passed down from generation to generation perpetuating abuse and trauma to African people. I just wanted to put this here because so many of us have suffered abuse at the hands of our parents due to Christianity and they too have suffered abuse at the hands of their parents because of this belief that was violently forced upon all of us.

It’s dangerous how isolation is so comfortable. I’ve been isolating myself from people for a long time because I got involved with a bad group of people a long time ago, so my dumbass self thought that isolating myself from people was a good way to cope. Now 2 years later I’m seeing the negative side effects of isolation—slurring my words, not being able to socialize well, a bit of agoraphobia, a bit of depression and loneliness. Is there a way I can combat this? I would join groups but I don’t know where to look and the place I live in is so boring, there’s a bunch of old people and toddlers.

I genuinely cant listen, process info, and decide what’s important when I’m trying to take notes in class. Meaning that I either fall behind or end up paralyzed when deciding what to put on paper instead of the professor’s whole dialogue. I can’t filter what is important enough to record and what is just filler words, I also get distracted too.

Like it’s genuinely my escape, plus books and movies. And I want to stop but I can’t. I try not to listen to music I try to keep it at bay but I get triggered so easily. How can I stop it?

I genuinely hate my parents because, aside from providing for me financially, I don’t feel like they’ve ever been good parents. Growing up, they’ve choked me, broken glass over my head, ganged up on me, and verbally abused me to the point that my grades started slipping and I found myself contemplating and even planning suicide.

The part that confuses me is that they’ll also do things that seem supportive financially. Just last week they bought me a car, they pay bills, and they buy my school supplies. Whenever that happens, I start questioning myself. I wonder if I’m just being ungrateful or overly sensitive. It makes me second-guess whether the abuse was really “that bad.”

Sometimes I think about moving out and paying for everything myself, even if it means being broke and living in poor conditions, because being around people who are toxic and abusive is mentally exhausting. But then they do something generous financially, and I immediately feel guilty, I also don’t want to lose that financial benefit and save my money especially in this economy. I start thinking maybe I should stay because they’ve spent so much money on me, the guilt and the benefits weigh in on this decision.

I’m constantly stuck between feeling like I need to leave for my own well-being and feeling guilty because they provide for me. I honestly don’t know what to think, what to do in the future, or even how I’m supposed to feel about them.

I genuinely hate my parents because, aside from providing for me financially, I don’t feel like they’ve ever been good parents. Growing up, they’ve choked me, broken glass over my head, ganged up on me, and verbally abused me to the point that my grades started slipping and I found myself contemplating and even planning suicide.

The part that confuses me is that they’ll also do things that seem supportive financially. Just last week they bought me a car, they pay bills, and they buy my school supplies. Whenever that happens, I start questioning myself. I wonder if I’m just being ungrateful or overly sensitive. It makes me second-guess whether the abuse was really “that bad.”

Sometimes I think about moving out and paying for everything myself, even if it means being broke and living in poor conditions, because being around people who are toxic and abusive is mentally exhausting. But then they do something generous financially, and I immediately feel guilty, I also don’t want to lose that financial benefit and save my money especially in this economy. I start thinking maybe I should stay because they’ve spent so much money on me, the guilt and the benefits weigh in on this decision.

I’m constantly stuck between feeling like I need to leave for my own well-being and feeling guilty because they provide for me. I honestly don’t know what to think, what to do in the future, or even how I’m supposed to feel about them.

I applied for ride operator at an amusement park and I somehow got the job despite me stuttering and slurring my words because of how nervous I was. At one point I even lost my train of thought and told the interviewer “I forgot what I was gonna say.”