i just finished watching the anime because i was curious to know what it was all about. i actually loved it but was sad to hear that a lot of people believe they’ll never be a season 2. was it confirmed or?
i absolutely love this song, it’s just a playlist based off his melancholic melodic songs.
for context, i struggled with burnout 2 years back. my routine would look like this, wake up at 3 p.m, not eat til 4 p.m, stay in bed all day, facetime my other depressed friend from 8 p.m - 6 a.m, eat a snack, go to bed. i went from being insanely active, sociable, working, basically things a 21 year old should be doing to this. a mess.
i’ve been trying really hard for the past 2 years to get back on my feet. a few days ago i decided to start battling my reconditioning on my body. all i did was stretch, and i got this really bad muscle spasm near my groin. couldn’t move for 8 minutes without their being a sharp pain. i’m only 21, my body should be in its prime and able to bounce back, but why is it so hard?
i played football for 11 years on insanely competitive teams, and i broke my bone one time that was it. never sustained any injuries besides that. i know it’s not fair to compare your body to your present one, but still. it’s humiliating. and i done it to myself.
i worked as a cleaner in a nursing home up until a month ago, mid peak burnout, 11 hour shifts of pure physical labour. i eventually had to quit due to my body just feeling absolutely awful which pained me, because i couldn’t find any other job and now i had to leave because of my body.
me and my body have never really gotten along, but im really trying to fix it. i can’t. everything i do it backfires, all the time. i have this pins and needle feeling on my lower back that’s really stressing me out and i think i fucked it from that stupid nursing home job.
idk i just feel hopeless, no matter what i do my body backfires. i try starting insanely small but nonetheless something happens that scares me. im just wondering if you were in my position physicality wise, where would u even start? and how long would it take to get back to my original fitness
idk if it’s after his stream yesterday (i watch him on youtube so idk if it was yesterday) but it was that painting game. i watched it before seeing any posts about this, i didn’t even notice there was something wrong with the way he was acting? sure he seemed tired, but not the way people are dramatising over.
it kinda happens to every influencer, context creator whatever. they’re loved only for so long until there’s one small thing that sets a minority off and all of a sudden everything he does is wrong.
i love his videos, he’s the only content creator i really keep up with because he’s chill, has no drama ever and just plays games. but now im seeing people say he’s aggressive, or he’s fake and all this? buddy you dont know him the same i dont, but even so i fw his content far more then any other slip on youtube/twitch.
i was making a new paypal (i’ve never used it before) but i accidentally used a buisness account. so i wanted to change it, i attempted to close my account but get a pop up saying “your account can’t be closed, contact customer support to resolve outstanding issues with your account”. mind you, i haven’t even used it. it was just made 5 minutes ago. i wanted to go back and create a personal one but now its not letting me, and i tried contacting them but yeah.
I need an impartial opinion because I genuinely can't tell if I'm overreacting or if this is a real pattern.
I've started noticing that in this friendship, everything I say is either questioned, corrected, or doubted. Obviously I'm not right all the time, and I have no problem being corrected when I'm wrong. It's the way it happens that gets to me. It often feels condescending, like I'm being talked down to, and after a while it becomes really patronizing.
For example, we were talking about towns and villages, and I casually said, "Where I'm from, it's a village." She immediately corrected me and started explaining what a village actually is. It turned out I was technically wrong because it's a townland, but that's not really the point. It's that she instantly assumed I didn't know what I was talking about. It isn't just that one conversation, it's constant. It feels like I can never know something better than her or even remember something better than her without being corrected.
I've noticed it in other ways too. If she recommends me a show or movie and I eventually watch it, she almost seems weird when I get excited about it or want to talk about it. It feels like I'm not allowed to enjoy it as much as she does. One time she showed me a song, and when I used it in a TikTok, she commented "quote me," as if I needed to publicly credit her for introducing me to it. Maybe that sounds small, but it rubbed me the wrong way.
The bigger issue happened recently. We used to have another friend who we eventually distanced ourselves from because her mental health struggles were becoming overwhelming for us. Yesterday, I tried opening up about my own health and what I've been dealing with. She completely ignored what I was saying. Every time I tried to be serious, she'd change the subject or make jokes. I paid attention because I've been questioning my own perception of things for months, wondering if I was imagining this pattern.
Eventually I got frustrated and said something about it, and her response was, "You're exactly like our old friend." That really hurt. It felt like the moment I tried to be vulnerable, I got compared to someone we'd both struggled with instead of being listened to.
The friendship is much deeper than these examples. She's leaned on me through so much over the years, and I've always been there to listen and support her. I hardly ever open up about my own problems because I find it difficult, and when I finally do, I'm reminded why I don't. Conversations about me somehow end up becoming conversations about her. More and more, she makes me feel small, like my thoughts, feelings, or experiences aren't taken seriously.
I don't know if I'm being overly sensitive, but this has been bothering me for months, and I can't shake the feeling that something is off. I just want an honest, impartial opinion.
need advice on this because I dont know if im being dramatic. but im seeing this pattern in a friendship of mine. everything I say is either wrong or doubted upon. all the time. and yes, sometimes maybe I am wrong, but describing something condescendingly shit pisses me off. like its so unbelievably patronizing. maybe I am being sensitive, but it gets to a point. like we were talking about towns and villages. and I just said "oh where im from, it's a village". then she instantly corrected me and started mansplaining what a village is etc. like it actually turned out to be a townland but besides that point sorry im rambling. but it isn't just once, it's all the time. I can't know something better than her. I can't remember something better than her. it's annoying.
with other things as well, she'll show me like a show or movie. and ill eventually watch it, then she becomes weird when I discuss it or want fangirl over it. when she showed me one song, and I used it for a TikTok, she commented "quote me" as in I showed you this so make it known. if that makes sense. idk its just weird to me idk if im being dramatic.
I'm having a really hard time seeing clearly with this situation so I just want to get advice. long story short, I have this friend who I was friends with a few years ago in high school but we drifted as she became popular and I wasn't. no beef, nothing. I just remember feeling left out. fast forward to college, we meet again. this time we stay friends for a while. during my first year of college, I experienced a really bad experience with my body that left me depressed and I couldn't go out/meet friends/etc for a while because of how bad it was for me. a few months later, my friend fell into a depression which led her to be housebound due to anxiety for (now 2 years).
I've always neglected my needs if it meant I could help someone else, I fault myself at that, not her. so during this time, she needed support. in the midst of all this, I was on a break from social media so I wasn't initially "there". but when I heard how she felt, I rushed back. that was the last time I felt good/normal in my life.
I could spend all day writing a book if it meant I had to go into even surface level shit about this friendship, so I'll try make it short. during the 2 years, we facetimed all the time. it was the only way I could be there for her, she didn't want people to come to her house and eventually people stopped trying. but I stayed. I was really busy, I had college, 2 part time jobs and other stuff but I still managed to be there for her every day. I sacrificed a lot of my mental/physical health for her. im not saying she asked for her, but she definitely played into it. fast forward onto the second year, I went through a really traumatic experience at my part time job that left me in a deep depression for months. I didn't show it as per usual, but everyone knew. but I didn't make it other peoples problem.
mind you, prior to this, when I was even better at hiding stuff, she would constantly ring me, almost cry if I had to go and her parents constantly reminded her to be grateful for me. I bring this up, because when 3 years of constant bullshit in my life finally came down and burned me the fuck out, she left? all of a sudden, no calls, no texts, nothing. originally when she stopped ringing, ill admit, I didn't try ringing back. maybe because I was somewhat relieved? but the point still stands. she completely pulled back after I got bad. these next few months were really hard for me. the worst days of my life. but I reached out. not venting, just casual check ups. she would take 2-3 weeks to reply. eventually, there was one day I really needed someone to listen. so I sent a few videos opening up, which she knew I never did open up. she never opened them, only for I had said they were important. when she said, all she could say was stuff centered around herself. never asked about anything I had said, never asked if I was okay. she has this habit of (when I talk about myself, it could be anything even interests) she just starts love bombing. now of course, this isn't a relationship, but still.
I reflected a lot on our calls when we drifted. how whenever I would bring up my interests, anything about me, the conversation slowly but surely drifted to her. once, I decided to open up about my disordered eating which irked me to do but I wanted to share a part of me. not even in a need for support, but just for someone to know something no one else does. very quickly, it turned into how she's struggled with eating disorders. but not in a way to relate, in a way for the conversation to be about her. you might think im dramatic or overthinking it here, but this has happened countless times. I constantly tell myself I am being dramatic, but it's too obvious now. she corrects me often, like how I pronounce certain things wrong, or etc. when id have an achievement I was proud of, it would eventually be turned into a conversation about her achievement. I'd just feel like I wasn't being heard or that everything I said was just wind. I noticed, I eventually felt inferiority. which could be from insecurity, but that insecurity wasn't as severe as before. I would sacrifice my sleep for her and everything more. again, my fault but still a puzzle piece.
right before she initially pulled away, she said "sometimes I think I should just let you go and set you free". which I remember really irked me but left me conflicted. that's all I can say to describe this friendship. conflict. because I can see both sides so well, and its the same with anything in my life. It's the most annoying thing ever because I can never know what to do. I just see both sides are right. when id text and she wouldn't reply it started to hurt a lot, especially because I'd see her active with her online friends on other social media platforms. she would talk to her other friends. why couldn't she reply to a simple "hi, how are you?"? I would ask to meet, and she'd say yeah but it would never happen.
we didn't FaceTime for 6 months, until the last day she rang me. all of a sudden acting normal. I remember feeling this weird feeling. it felt familiar but wrong. I couldn't forget those months I felt alone, with no support and just used and abused. I just felt so over it. she would just talk about herself, and the cycle what I mentioned above all came back. I guess im just pissed the fuck off because I sacrificed so much of myself to be there for her, and she couldn't do the bare minimum. I didn't want her to throw away her issues for me, I didn't want her to listen to my vents, I just wanted to feel like I wasn't used. I get she has depression, but I still don't think that excuses all of this. when she pulled away initially, she could've just said "I need space." I would've been completely fine with that, but it was the fact I was clueless for months.
i could excuse the ghosting until i saw her active on her other accounts talking to her online friends constantly. i could excuse the “lack of attention” when it came to my mental health until it became a pattern. i’m trying so hard to be fair and it’s driving me crazy. i do this with everything. i doubt my instincts, i blame myself and eventually, the other person does something and leaves.
the thing is, this feels like a pattern. i feel like the second I stopped being the “strong/stable” one, she pulled away. i always feel like i go above and beyond for friends, but when it comes to me the bare minimum can’t even be achieved. i spend my days questioning if its my fault somehow, overanalyzing every interaction. i’m severely empathetic so i struggle to just see objectively.
I know depression affects people and I don’t blame her for struggling. but am I wrong for feeling deeply hurt and honestly resentful? I can’t tell if I’m expecting too much or if this friendship has become really one-sided.
obviously there's more to this, but these are the main issues. I just don't know anymore. I feel like im too impartial and see both sides too well, more so then my own. I understand she was going through something, but so was I. she'd often compare our situations, saying hers was more loud. what I dont get is how I was able to do way more then the bare minimum and she couldn't even reply. I dont want to sound like an asshole which is why im asking for advice, my mind is fried. im not looking for pity btw, im just severely paralyzed with conflict.
i grew up being extremely people pleasing, i often felt neglected in social settings. i learned very early that people preferred a certain side to me, being a clown. in school, i was a class clown, and i thought i enjoyed it. people would say im quick witted and funny and it made me feel good, but after entering my early 20s, it became very exhausting. i spent a lot of time alone during this time, and i learned who i was. i hated performing, i hated constantly trying to keep conversations alive, i was sick of people constantly letting me down. i noticed in conversations, they would die quickly when i would give 50%. i also noticed when i stopped asking others about themselves, they never asked about me. i just had a realisation of how ive been neglected in friendships. always giving my all and getting almost nothing back.
nowadays, ive grown scarily anti social. i’m burned out from people and i wish i wasnt. but over the years ive had nothing but friends who drained me, i was a therapist friend too which made it worse. now when someone talks to me, my social battery immediately dies. i don’t know what to do, because i don’t want to be anti social. but idk.
for context, i’m 21. all my life i’ve had a shitty lifestyle, due to depression and constant burn out. i’m a very sacrificial person, so think of anything and i’ll sacrifice it for other people. 1 meal a day, never drink water, don’t exercise, always fatigued and tired despite bloods normal, irritable, hopeless, you name it. i get told a lot that i look unhealthy and sick, but what are some other signs?
now, embarrassingly enough, I never drink water. im not proud of that and ive tried to get into a habit of drinking more but I just forget. im not joking when I only get water from maybe 2 cups of tea and whichever foods, so basically nothing. I used to doubt that we needed water at all (I was young and it was because I wasn't experiencing anything negative backlash from it, I didn't know any change?)
but I know you need water now obviously, at this point in my life im going through a depressive phase and im not really active AT THIS point. so how much would I technically need?
I used to be able to listen to people and comfort people all day everyday. for my whole life ive been a therapist friend or someone people think is a punching bag to unleash all their troubles onto me. it came natural to people to just talk about their struggles and soon enough all my friendships became burdens. people just kept coming to me with their problems. eventually my mental health started to decline and after a few months it turned into a full blown burn out depression. now, when people talk about their problems (just casually) I get so fucking irritated. and I feel awful about it. im very empathetic always have been but Jesus. im sick of it. im sick of people using me to just vent about shit. its exhausting. whenever I tried to talk about my problems I didn't get nearly the same as attention and support back. that just angered me more. naturally nowadays im very tired due to the burn out that's been going on for 3 years. so when people open up all of a sudden about shit (especially the same negative stuff), it really upsets and irritates me. I feel so bad I know its not right to get angry but idk. how do I overcome this?