u/Pot8obois

I've been thinking about how the mental separation of human and animal shapes the way we think of and interact with other creatures. When I saw an bird, a squirrel, a deer, a cow, whatever... I saw a mindless robot programmed to behave a certain way. I saw humans to be separate from them, and consciousness, language, etc... to be uniquely human. I was so wrong.

I recently finished a book called the Genius of Birds, and it really opened my eyes more to the reality that we are all not that different. Animals communicate, understand, have awareness and feelings. Humans are unique in their capacity for sure, but other creatures are not mindless machines, but conscious living things that are capable of understanding, thought, emotion, relationship, in some cases even culture (birds, whales, chimpanzees).

I started a different book about eastern north american wildlife, and the history before European settlers made me very sad. When we think of bison, for instance, we don't think of Florida, right? But there used to be massive herds of them there! And what was described of eastern north america before colonization is truly magical.

Anyway, I'm on a bit of a rant at this point. What I'm getting at is that, by mentally separating ourselves from animals, we don't feel so bad destroying their ecosystems, treating them poorly, injuring them for sport, etc... But at the same time, we have seen that humans don't treat each other very well either, with examples of slavery and the genocide of indigenous people in North America. We are truly the most destructive creatures on this planet.

I live in Durham, but can go to Raleigh. I'm curious if there are any organizations that need volunteers. I'm very interested in land conservation and wildlife rehabilitation. My day job is social services, but outside of work I love animals, really into wildlife photography and learning about wildlife and their environments, so I think I'd enjoy volunteering somewhere that does this kind of work.

I just finished season 4 and the way it just left off made me sad, wanting more. But it's been since 2023 than any word of season 5 has been mentioned. I understand it can take years between seasons, but part of me wonders if I should not hold my breathe they'll finish this reboot.

I love the art style, the relationships and story. The action and strategy are fantastic. I love the complex political questions, and yeah... it's such a good show. I worry the original may feel "stale" in comparison? If I were to watch the original instead of waiting or hoping they continue DNT, should I restart or start on a later episode?

I really liked this character, and was shocked by how emotional I got when he died..I felt so bad for Reinhard. I just finished season two of DNR. I want Reinhard to fail in the end but the connection between Kircheis and him made Kircheis death feel devastating and I felt sad in a way I haven't about a character death in a while..

I'm 33 a year old man... in my second marriage. I've known for a long time I shouldn't be with her, and that I didnt' want to marry her. But I'm too much of a people pleaser to have ended it, and I married her about 4 months ago now. This is my second marriage, and I feel like I complete failure. I repeated my past mistakes again. I feel complete loss of autonomy over my life, she tells me what to do and if I don't do it she gets upset. She cut off my family, says future children won't have anything to do with them. I avoid my family out of guilt, my twin brother who lives 30 minutes away isn't talking to me... my wife handles relationships in a way that crushes me, as she has cut off almost all of her own family as well. I am allowed to maintain relatinoships with my family, but it's really hard... and she wants a kid and I feel nothing but fear and sadness over it. I had multiple panic attacks, took off work and drove out of state one day... the two weeks before the wedding. But I kept coming back. My family offered so much support if I choose to leave, but I didn't take it. I kept going back.. and we got married in a courthouse with no family or friends. I can't believe I did this. I struggle to find her attractive, she's not very nice, the way she talks to her own family feels combative and I often feel she is unkind in the way she talks about others. I'm a social worker and it often feels we are not on the same page with how we view or talk about people. I can't believe I just stuck around... my whole body was screaming at me... and now I just feel stuck. I wanted a family so bad, and now I just can't fathom how to do that with her without serious regrets. No one is going to want a 2 time divorceee, and I know how people think of others who have been married 3 times. I graduated with my masters two years ago and told myself my 30's would be the time I'd actually get my life in order and do what I wanted... but I ended up right back in a situation where I hold little control and feel like my life is going in a direction I did not want. I feel like I completely ruined my life and don't know how to move forward. I've wished so many times I could restart, have a clean slate... I have this one life and I feel like I've kept allowing it to be torn in directions that where not for me at all. I do care and love my wife and feel awful that I have done this to her as well, but at the same time I've tried to communicate, I've tried to take us to couples counseling. She maintains moral authority over me and everything else. I feel a loss of control over our future and our children's future. My therapist warns me future children could suffer in a dynamic like this, and I feel full of guilt for the potential children, full of guilt for marriyng her and then potentially saying no to having children with her, even though she really wants it. She told me if it didnt' work with me she'd be done with dating entirely. She's much older than me, and never had a long term relationship. I feel like I owe her something. I know it's illogical, I know what people will say... but I genuinely feel suck... and today I was looking back and kept thinking why did I do it? Why did I marry her? My whole body was screaming at me for months, and it resulting in panic the weak before, and I was hyperventalating the day of. why am I so weak? What is wrong with me? Why do I ruin my life like this. Ive been so mentally unwell for so long... I hate this I hate my life right now.

Legend of the Galactic Heroes season 1 (of the new show) is not available anywhere. Crest of Stars is unavailable. Toward the Terra is unavailable. These are all shows I want to watch. I tried even going the "free online streaming" route, but even there these shows don't exist. I feel right now people's best bet, especially with Toward the Terra, is to find a physical copy of it? Also, would you guys suggest other shows while I'm trying to figure out how to watch these? I'm not big on mecha stuff, although I think I'm going to try watching 86 next.

I feel like having a community that a child can be a part of is something that is overlooked... and as an adult I know just how hard it is to even make friends, let alone have a community. But if your children has no one outside your home to connect with... they have to rely on school?

I think a piece of information that is relevant is that we are an interracial couple I am white a man, she is a Black woman.

My family has been rejected by my wife and she has said our future kids will have no connection with them. She is not connected her family either. So our future kids have no meaningful connection to family (which guts me to my core). We are not religious either.

Honestly, I'd have to write way too much to explain what's happened between my wife and my family. My immediate family mean well, have been very open to being a part of her life but somethings have led my wife to feel they are unsafe for her and future children. She never knew my family well, has spent little time with them, and rejected attempts to meet them from the very beginning. That being said, I am intentionally trying to not make this biased one way or another, because it's not simple to explain.. To be clear, this is not "my immediate family support the current administration" level stuff, but at the end of the day several attempts at couples counseling has failed to make any change and she has officially decided she wants nothing to do with them, and our children will have no connection with them. But I'm more focused on lack of social support and community for future kids here, not litigating who is right about my family.

I'm a bit terrified about the lack of community in our lives, and it feels as if we are kind of isolated. Mostly, I feel like something HAS to change if we bring kids to the world. They need to have community of people like them, and right now I don't feel like we can provide that... and that's a big deal to me. So I have to do something about it.

The concern I have is my future children not having community, and my wife and I having no support system. I believe it's important for kids to be around poeple like them as well. My wife doesn't seem to share these same concerns or thoughts, and seems to have a level of excitement about children that I'm struggling to share right now given how things have gone. I think it breaks me a bit to think of my future kids not having aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.... On top of that, there's no community we've built outside of it. So our future kids really just have us, and whatever happens when they go to school. My wife seems to be very content with how things are, and when I've shared concerns it's felt like we weren't on the same page. I'm trying to get out and meet people, but it's challenging.

I grew up religious and became agnostic, and she's agnostic as well. Sometimes I've thought about connecting to a diverse progressive church, but my wife says thats for me alone, and not the rest of the family because she doesn't care for religion. So now I feel like I share this concern in isolation, while she is at an age where we can't delay having children much longer... To be honest it's not just about kids, but about my feelings of isolation.... I feel a hole in my life and it doesn't feel solveable right now.

Am I overthinking this? What kind of advice would you have for me, considering community, support systems, and how to ensure your children are a part of something? I feel bad because I feel like my wife and I don't share the same energy about having children right now. I see her light up about being a mother, and that does make me feel bad for the fact that I end up feeling more anxious than excited. Am I kind of making a big deal out of this?

I feel like having a community that a child can be a part of is something that is overlooked... and as an adult I know just how hard it is to even make friends, let alone have a community. But if your children has no one outside your home to connect with... they have to rely on school?

My family (who is white) has been rejected by my wife and she has said our future kids will have no connection with them. She is not connected to her side of the family either. So our future kids have no meaningful connection to family (which guts me to my core). We are not religious either.

Honestly, I'd have to write way too much to explain what's happened between my wife and my family. My immediate family mean well, have been very open to being a part of her life but somethings have led my wife to feel they are unsafe for her and future children. She never knew my family well, has spent little time with them, and rejected attempts to meet them from the very beginning. That being said, I am intentionally trying to not make this biased one way or another, because it's not simple to explain.. To be clear, this is not "my immediate family support the current administration" level stuff, but at the end of the day several attempts at couples counseling has failed to make any change and she has officially decided she wants nothing to do with them, and our children will have no connection with them. But I'm more focused on lack of social support and community for future kids here, not litigating who is right about my family.

I'm a bit terrified about the lack of community in our lives, and it feels as if we are kind of isolated. Mostly, I feel like something HAS to change if we bring kids to the world. They need to have community of people like them, and right now I don't feel like we can provide that... and that's a big deal to me. So I have to do something about it.

The concern I have is my future children not having community, and my wife and I having no support system. I believe it's important for kids to be around poeple like them as well. My wife doesn't seem to share these same concerns or thoughts, and seems to have a level of excitement about children that I'm struggling to share right now given how things have gone. I think it breaks me a bit to think of my future kids not having aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.... On top of that, there's no community we've built outside of it. So our future kids really just have us, and whatever happens when they go to school. My wife seems to be very content with how things are, and when I've shared concerns it's felt like we weren't on the same page. I'm trying to get out and meet people, but it's challenging.

I grew up religious and became agnostic, and she's agnostic as well. Sometimes I've thought about connecting to a diverse progressive church, but my wife says that for me alone, and not the rest of the family because she doesn't care for religion. So now I feel like I share this concern in isolation, while she is at an age where we can't delay having children much longer... To be honest it's not just about kids, but about my feelings of isolation.... I feel a hole in my life and it doesn't feel solveable right now.

Am I overthinking this? What kind of advice would you have for me, considering community, support systems, and how to ensure your children are a part of something?

I kept finding myself accepting things, which followed into me marrying someone I probably should not have. I know this is going to be a hard ask, but please refraim from making judgments about whether or not my wife is right in her decisions. This is not a relationship advice post, this is about my mental health and the context matters to that. It's impossible to make a judgment on her decisions without the full context, which would take an essay to explain.

Like 6 months into dating I attempted to introduce her to my family... I've seen my family get to know and become parts of my siblings spouses and families. I actually was divorced and my ex knew my family and hung out with my brother and I sometimes. So when my partner reacted negatively, and things descended into the conditions they are in now, I was astounished. I tried couples therapy on this issue for a long time, but everything got progressively worse.

We got married at a courthouse alone. My family was concerned because I seemed to not be doing well mentally and was avoidant, my brother was most concerned and appeared to have shared his concerns to my family becuase I got messages and calls saying I should consider postponing the wedding. I had panic attacks before the wedding, but I went for it...

My wife announced that she was officially done with my family during our honeymoon, saying what my family did reaching out to me about us getting marriage was the final straw. She believes they made her out to be a dangerous abuser, and I can't convince her otherwise. And she wants our future kids to have no connection with them as well. My wife is not connected to her family either...

I feel fear and pain thinking about my children disconnected from their aunts, uncles, and grandparents. When I go out to try to build friendships with people, I feel hurt because I see interactions between people that I feel like I can't experience. When I think of calling my family, I feel instense guilt and shame, like I married someone who rejected them... and I can't think of how to maintain healthy connections with family while obviously keeping future children from them.... Most of all I feel I've lost my twin brother, and fear the damage I've caused is irrevocable. When I think about jumping ship (out of the marraige) I feel guilt and shame for hurting my partner, and I feel embarrasment over potentially being a twice divorcee at 33 years old... wondering how anyone would love me... and wondering what people will think of me on my third marraige if I even get there. I married a women who is older, and does not have time to waste with having children. She has talked about her longing for children, and I feel like I owe that to her... like I feel so guilty potentially telling her that these are not conditions I feel comfortable bringing children into... but honestly I don't feel comfortable with it.

There doesn't feel like a direction in my life right now that ends well... I just feel like I've ruined my life, and I've been consistently miserable for weeks. I've shredded my nails down, they bleed sometimes. I lost interest in things, I feel like I'm just trying to get through every day. I don't know if this will ever get better... I feel like I've failed so many people and I hate myself for it... I really do... I have so much disgust for myself. I'm such a people pleasure. I have no back bone. I'm weak and pathetic and let people do whatever they want with me. I feel completely alone

Growing up, I was told not to insult people, not to speak so harshly of others, etc.... My parents spoke positively of others, and would not tolerate speach that openly referred to others as being dumb, stupid, etc... As an adult I tend to feel uncomfortable when people talk about others like this.

Before I go further, can we not do the whole "why did you marry her then" stuff, I am venting and honestly don't need to hear that at this time.

I think I was trying to give my wife the benefit of the doubt at first. She was venting about work stuff. But after a while I noticed this was just her general way of speaking of others. People are dumb, stupid, incompetent, b*tches, slow, etc... She talks about her coworkers and bosses with such harshness and frustration, and this often gets into name calling and insults about their intellect or something else. After a while, I realize I don't hear her speaking positively of people very often, and even heard some disturbing things said about her sister and nieces and nephews. Sometimes I find it incredibly uncomfortable to listen to her.

Sometimes my coworkers, family, or friends do things that frustrate me and I may vent about it for a bit. I've learned to minimize this because my wife tends to form extremely negative opinions of people based off of a few negative interactions, when otherwise I am speaking very positively of someone. I've had to tell her many times not to call people I care about incompetent or stupid. Like how she went off about my supervisor being incompetent, I told her please dont' talk about him that way. I genuinely like this guy, he's great. I dont' want him to be spoken of like this. She sometimes will say why am I getting defensive she is just pointing out her observations.

She has very little connection with her own family, *cut off my entire family, cuts people off quickly. She got extremely upset when someone at work asked others about their Christmas plans, saying it was lacking awareness to assume others celebrated. A coworker reminensed about her boys hair when he was a child, and now she says horrible things about her becuase her son has blond hair and blue eyes and she was referring to her child's lighter hair. She then vented about another coworker who interacts with this person, saying they are friendly to a "bad" person. I have been very confused, even said I didn't understand once and was reprimanded for invalidating her experience. There is a lot of hyprocisy involved as well...

She is very firm, to a point of being rigid with others, about her values but when it comes to day to day relationships, she seems to have not found appreciation for patience, kindness, and in the importance of viewing others with dignity respect and watching how we talk about people. To be clear there are very frustrating people and venting is fine sometimes, but it becomes a daily occurance to hear her call others incompetent, stupid, etc...

I've seen her give people the middle finger for minor driving mistakes. I've seen her become visibly irritated with a couple holding up a line for less than 15 seconds becuase they were triyng to find a card while juggling an infant.

The one time I brought my concerns was during our honeymoon of all places. We went mini put put. There was a family behind us, and we were wrapping up our courses faster than the group ahead of us, so we had to wait. My wife said we are not leaving the course until we can go to the next, which forced the family behind us to stand around waiting. I told her after a few rounds that I thought it made more sense to step out of the course and wait for the next one so the family could play, considering we were done and just standing there. This made her very upset, for a few rounds she was essentially pouting, visible angry. I watched her wave her arms in frustration as two kids looked up at her with confusion and fear. I asked her if she wanted to continue because I was not going to keep doing this if she was going to be like this. So we left. She said I pressured her. I told her that one day we will have children of our own and the way she behaved has me very concerned. I'd like to be able to go on family trips together, and do stuff like put put.. and what I observed today makes me really concerned about how this could play out. She didn't like that, said it was irrelevant. Fine, but to me it was a build up of concern.

Ok, so I'll stop here. She is bringing up having kids and I can't help to feel anxious. I don't want my kids exposed so frequently to the way she talks about people. I dont' want my kids exposed to the way I see her react to situations.

*the family stuff is an entirely different convo and it's very complicated. For this I don't want any judgment levied one way or the other. It's a complicated situation and people will have wildly different reactions to do.

>!So, from what I've read it seems to be the consensus to let Artemis go. However, I feel very torn on the situation. It seems maybe for her personally it's best to led her go. However, I also found out that later on we learn we are also in a simulation, and that's not so bad, right? Anyway... if you were making the decision for me I'd want to be put in the simulation. I'm persornally terrified of death, and would much rather be in a simulation alone than die. I'd be so mad if someone was left with the decision and decided to let me go. But... I also think most people are not like me, and maybe letting her go is the right decision here? It sounds like she'd be tormented if she knew and it would be worse than death for her? I think I'm going to let her go becuase I get the vibe it's what she'd want, but it's really unfortunate that she doesn't have the ability to consent to such a monumental decision. !<