u/RenatePaints

So I finally went to my psychiatrist and said that I think I'm autistic. I had prepared this Google doc with all my signs and symptoms starting from childhood. He spent an hour and a half talking to me and, in the end said he is sure I'm autistic.

He also had notes from my psych team when I spent a month in a psych ward. I had my school reports and notes from my boyfriend about how he sees me in everyday life.

I asked him whether to do ADOS, and he said he doesn't see the point because he is sure I will score as autistic.

I struggle to accept this as a valid diagnosis. When I feel good, I feel like the biggest liar. But when I feel bad I feel like I should be able to pull myself together, for example, yesterday I was forced to go to party, lasted one hour, ran away from the place crying and was riddled with vocal tics, because whole situation was too overwhelming. But I still feel like I should be able to force myself to be normal. (I attached my painting because this is how I feel.)

I painted this piece ''Hiking accident'', because people kept telling me that going into nature alone is dangerous, so I figured this is the worst case scenario, that some unknown beast is trying to lick your butt while you are climbing a tree!

I painted the feeling I sometimes get while painting, like a crack opens in my consciousness and an overwhelming wave of love washes over me, it is as if I’m being held by the hands of the universe.
Have you ever experienced something similar?

This is oil painting I did depicting me looking in the mirror and seeing my inner shadow. I wonder how would you depict your inner shadow?

At this point I have painted very similar variations of this at least 10 times. Do you have any idea what this could be about?

I thought you guys might appreciate it!

Have you ever wondered why tree branches and neurons look so similar?

I thought you guys might relate!

I thought you guys might enjoy it!