My cousin wants to grab breakfast before going to a museum. It will be me, her and her 3 year old daughter. They live in a 3M dollar home and I’m a nanny. Do I pay for what I order? Or can I reasonably expect her to cover?
So someone I talk to on a weekly basis told me about this term and it blew my mind because I related so much to the checklist and have struggled with real intimacy in friendships and relationships my entire life.
I’ve been to a few meetings and they are all really different.
Would love to hear how people overcame their social anorexia. I’m great at talking over the phone and really good about calling people in programs. But when it comes to in person, I can’t seem to bring myself to make those connections.
So I ask bc one of my sponsors told me to do the 4th step and then we’d review and move onto the 5th step. Another sponsor said “the 4th step is the 5th step” and wanted my resentments and my part all done at once.
I have to say the former felt really overwhelming and I hated that I had to do it alone. I never finished bc of other issues with that sponsor but I would like to get back to the steps and I was just wondering how other people have done it.
Also, I’m so confused bc if the 4th step is just my resentments then why do so many people describe it as telling their sponsor all the bad things they’ve done?!
For me my resentments and the selfish bad things I did weren’t always linked. It does sound nice to get the shitty things I’ve done off my chest but that would be a different list than my resentments. Also, for the “my part” did you use a list of character defects or did you just stick to the 7 deadly sins?
I feel really stuck so would appreciate any input.
I’ll try to keep this brief. I have two roommates and one of them sent a message in the chat with a picture of our apartment door a jar and saying “hey loves the door was open again”. This is a reasonable message but her and I were the only ones home so when I saw it I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just message me directly. Our other roommate seemed confused too asking if it happened in the morning when we were all there.
The last time she messaged about this it was my other roommate and this time it was me but it could’ve literally been any of us. Just a few days after she sent this I came home and guess what, the door was a jar…
I fessed up and said we could start locking the door if that would make her feel more safe and she said that wasn’t the issue. Am I crazy or is she just being passive aggressive and annoying.
She’s the only one to ever put a complaint in the chat which I thought was a kind of checks and balances but now I see it differently.
She also asked about where her long spoon had gone bc it’s “very dear” to her and about a knife (of which we have multiple). I had used them and hadn’t put them back yet bc our kitchen is pretty small and I don’t like getting caught in long conversations when I’m just trying to wash a dish. I straight up said I didn’t know and that I’d keep an eye out bc I was so annoyed. I’ve had things disappear and re-appear and her messages felt like a betrayal of the trust between the three of us.
I know gaslighting is wrong but who tf cares that much about a spoon.
I’ll try to keep this brief. I have two roommates and one of them sent a message in the chat with a picture of our apartment door a jar and saying “hey loves the door was open again”. This is a reasonable message but her and I were the only ones home so when I saw it I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just message me directly. Our other roommate seemed confused too asking if it happened in the morning when we were all there.
The last time she messaged about this it was my other roommate and this time it was me but it could’ve literally been any of us. Just a few days after she sent this I came home and guess what, the door was a jar…
I fessed up and said we could start locking the door if that would make her feel more safe and she said that wasn’t the issue. Am I crazy or is she just being passive aggressive and annoying.
She’s the only one to ever put a complaint in the chat which I thought was a kind of checks and balances but now I see it differently.
She also asked about where her long spoon had gone bc it’s “very dear” to her and about a knife (of which we have multiple). I had used them and hadn’t put them back yet bc our kitchen is pretty small and I don’t like getting caught in long conversations when I’m just trying to wash a dish. I straight up said I didn’t know and that I’d keep an eye out bc I was so annoyed. I’ve had things disappear and re-appear and her messages felt like a betrayal of the trust between the three of us.
I know gaslighting is wrong but who tf cares that much about a spoon.
I am a nanny for a 11month old boy who is very active. I’ve been with him since he was 5 months.
I feel like I’m physically so strained from sitting on the floor, rocking him to sleep for naps and picking up up a million times a day.
I’m pretty physically fit but still struggle to not feel burnt out. Also there’s a mental fatigue to being really hyper alert but bored at the same time.
I find myself being jealous of other women and don’t know how to stop.
This was not always me. I had healed this character defect at some point but over the winter I’ve been really isolated and regressed a lot.
I noticed I assume I’m going to be rejected but I’m just rejecting myself before anyone else can.
I live in Miami and people here are very image conscious and almost all the women have fillers and are shaped like barbies. I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 15 and I catch myself just staring at peoples body parts and hating my own body bc it will never be that perfect. I am a nanny and usually show up to places looking like an exhausted mother or coming from a workout class and am all sweaty.
I’m in AA and I just struggle to believe anyone will actually really like me and not just be putting “principles before personalities” and talking to me to be kind.
I have had 2 sponsors before and things didn’t work out with either of them.
I hated the parental feel and that I had little to no privacy. I also felt used by them, like they needed to get something out of me bc they were giving me their time and they were both really busy.
Can you work the steps along side someone in recovery? I qualify for ACA as well and idk something about having a sponsor doesn’t feel right. I do however, like the idea of two people walking side by side and doing the same challenging task you’re doing and you guys holding space for each other. Sponsorship feels so one sided.
Any experience with this would help. Thanks
This was not always me. I had healed this character defect at some point but over the winter I’ve been really isolated and regressed a lot.
I noticed I assume I’m going to be rejected but I’m just rejecting myself before anyone else can.
I live in Miami and people here are very image conscious and almost all the women have fillers or are shaped like barbies. I have struggled with an eating disorder since I was 15 and I catch myself just staring at peoples body parts and hating my own body bc it will never be that perfect. I am a nanny and usually show up to meetings looking like an exhausted mother or coming from a workout class and am all sweaty.
I just struggle to believe anyone will actually really like me and not just be putting “principles before personalities” and talking to me to be kind.
I know that this is shitty coming from the parents perspective and I do feel horrible for them. But the agency and legal documents all made it clear that there are very few protections for donors and that the long term effects of egg donation are unknown.
How can I give informed consent when I’m not being informed.
Since January I have been asking for clarity on the timeline of donation and it kept changing which made it impossible for me to ask for the time off in advance. They also never told me that it would be a window and not exact dates even though I made it really clear I needed to give advance notice.
When I asked to delay the process they went straight to how much the parents had invested and didn’t seem to care that I’d already given considerable time to zoom calls, blood work and doctor’s appointments and they never compensated me for the birth control or gas used to drive 45 minutes away ( which they said they would),
When I started having second thoughts, I joined a support group and learned that DNA matching means that the kid can find you later in life which I was never told! The emphasis was on my understanding that I don’t have a right to the embryos. I also realized donation is taxed so I’d really only be getting about $6,500-$7,000.
Women in the support group that had donated and regretted it seemed to all express that these clinics don’t really want you questioning anything and just want you to be agreeable and do what you’re told.
I backed out before signing any legal documents and I am so relieved. If they don’t want people doing that then they need a better system. The only reason I waited this long is because they guilt trip you so much about the money invested and act like you arn’t sacrificing your time and actual body to donate.
I wish I’d realized sooner, before all the doctors appointments but I think they wait to tell you any details until the last minute on purpose.
Not looking to be absolved, I know it’s ultimately my fault for not understanding sooner, but maybe this will help someone else not make the same mistake I did.
Hi! So I am about to start the process of donating my eggs I’m kind of spiraling.
I workout a lot and it kills me that I won’t be about to for a good two weeks before and after. Also I am a nanny for a very active baby who will be 13 month at the time of the retrieval and even tho I asked the doctor (he’s male) if it’s safe and he said it’d be fine, I don’t really trust him.
I am also worried about weight gain. Was this permanent for any of you? Any permanent issues?
I’m also worried the health insurance they provide won’t protect me if I have long term issues.
Would love get some perspective and to hear some your experiences!
So, I definitely have drank and self harmed out of resentment.
But I’m realizing that stress has been threatening my emotional sobriety more than anything else. Dealing with really confusing taxes, having to ask for time off, dealing with registering my car in another state… these things really get to me.
I’m 26f living in a major city and I’m self supporting. I worry that I am not going to get through the uncertainty without alcohol. Everyone I know with sobriety is older and I find it incredibly hard to lean on a support system.
My parents were terrible role models when it came to handling stress and I do yoga and all the things but idk, talking about it is so hard.
Hi! I am starting to teach again and I’m terrified.
I’d like to start slowly and teach online but I’m scared of bombers and I don’t even know where is build a community.
Anyone on here have experience or suggestions? Thanks!
The annoying thing is that everyone acts like looking at your own character defects is unique to people in AA.
I think everyone has to do this at some point to grow. People in AA aren’t the only ones to have to hit a road block (almost dying or career catastrophe etc) and realize that they have to change.
My roommate isn’t an addict in any way but she says spiritual stuff I hear in the rooms all the time and is constantly doing service for other people.
I’ve blocked my mom plenty of times, gone no contact and not explained why.
I am trying to handle things differently. I am trying to be kinder. I had this epiphany recently that allowed me to see her not as my mom but just as this person I met as a baby. We are all just souls and now this is someone who thinks they are my mom and I have to find a way to place her appropriately and not take everything so personally.
I am tired of feeling obligated to call her each weekend and deal with her crazy. I don’t want to listen to her monologues or unpredictable mood or her trying to control me with money she doesn’t have.
Is there a middle ground?