u/SunshineGirl45

Like genuinely it’s soul crushing. I go to work come back have a panic attack and break down then go to sleep and do it all over again. I’m not joking if I have to do this for the rest of my life I rather die. I cannot do this. Having outside hobbies and whatever else is not enough. I don’t even have motivation to do anything outside of work because I hate it so much. I just want to die everyday. I don’t get how people are okay living this way and more aren’t dying

I wish I could ask this on a women subreddit but relationship questions aren’t allowed. I can already see the men who will come to drag me by my scalp.

I‘m a woman I want to know how some women just get men easily? I’m 25 never been in a relationship. No man irl has shown interest in me. I’m not very pretty so that’s probably a reason. I‘m also wondering if I’m asexual or not because I can’t figure out if sex disgusts me because of fear or it’s just weird to me. I’m prepared to be alone forever because I also think my standards may be too high. anyway how do women get men? It can be a relationship or casual.

I ordered a 15 percent Azelaic acid cream and I didn’t realize it arrived in the mail until today. It’s been 5 days since it was delivered I live in CA it’s been in the 90’s all week. Is it still effective or should I return it?

I ordered a 15 percent Azelaic acid cream and I didn’t realize it arrived in the mail until today. It’s been 5 days since it was delivered I live in CA it’s been in the 90’s all week. Is it still effective or should I return it?

I’m considering going back to school (I’m 25) I’ve completed 1 year of CC I’m on academic forgiveness because I completely failed but I did pass enough classes to complete 1 year with bad grades. I moved so I’d be transferring to another CC. I don’t remember all the classes I passed and failed so I don’t know what I’d have to start over.

I‘d like to double major in Theater and something else. I’m stuck between creative writing or art. I suck at both I write like a 12 year old on Wattpad and draw stick figures or people who look like they’ve been seriously maimed. I know I can learn both of these outside of school so I’m wondering which one I would benefit from getting a degree in more. I want to become a graphic novelist I feel like this is relevant. I’m also interested in acting.

Also I don’t want career or major help I know jobs in the arts aren’t profitable I should get a more practical degree blah blah blah this is what I’m going to school for.

Also if you’re gonna ask why haven’t I just pursued these things outside of school all these years I’m chronically depressed thats why I haven’t even thought about going back to school till now because I don’t have motivation for life I still really don’t so I may not even go back this is all hypothetical for the near future I may just never finish school.

I’m considering going back to school (I’m 25) I’ve completed 1 year of CC I’m on academic forgiveness because I completely failed but I did pass enough classes to complete 1 year with bad grades. I moved so I’d be transferring to another CC. I don’t remember all the classes I passed and failed so I don’t know what I’d have to start over.

I‘d like to double major in Theater and something else. I’m stuck between creative writing or art. I suck at both I write like a 12 year old on Wattpad and draw stick figures or people who look like they’ve been seriously maimed. I know I can learn both of these outside of school so I’m wondering which one I would benefit from getting a degree in more. I want to become a graphic novelist I feel like this is relevant. I’m also interested in acting.

Also I don’t want career or major help I know jobs in the arts aren’t profitable I should get a more practical degree blah blah blah this is what I’m going to school for.

Also if you’re gonna ask why haven’t I just pursued these things outside of school all these years I’m chronically depressed thats why I haven’t even thought about going back to school till now because I don’t have motivation for life I still really don’t so I may not even go back this is all hypothetical for the near future I may just never finish school.

What’s the point then? I know obviously money but it seems like most people hate their job or tolerate it. What’s the point? We only get one life what’s the point if we don’t enjoy it just to say well at least I’m alive. Is that really enough?

Everyday I go to work I want to strip my clothes and run out of the building screaming

I've been looking at different working holiday visa options. Specifically South Korea, New Zealand, and Ireland. I've asked people on here and it just seems like it's basically impossible unless you're rich. I don't have a college degree and I do actually want to come back to America I just want to experience living in another country for awhile.

I hate my job and hate my life. Going to work makes me have a panic attack and want to throw up. I live with my abusive parents have never escaped them. Have no savings because I was unemployed for a while. I tired to do the right responsible things and my life's still horrible never will not be. I'm considering just quitting my job and becoming homeless I don't like my life so I don't have anything to lose. I have no friends either so I can't stay with anyone but everyday I either crash out and don't move after coming home from work or what to scream so I feel like I'll be okay homeless.

If anyone here has been homeless what's it like?

Why do people think everyone needs to live and will be better off. If that were true when do some people die in pain or suffering? Why are people so against suicide?

I've been looking at different working holiday visa options. Specifically South Korea, New Zealand, and Ireland. I've asked people on here and it just seems like it's basically impossible unless you're rich. I don't have a college degree and I do actually want to come back to America I just want to experience living in another country for awhile.

I have no problem with autism I just literally do not have it. I know I come off strange it's because I have so much childhood trauma and have to act normal or else I'd constantly be raging because my life sucks. Also I've very socially awkward because of both my trauma and being homeschooled and not interacting with people my age a lot until college and I'm 25 for reference so COVID happened literally the first semester I started.

I will explain this and that I act a certain way to fit in or I just feel like and outsider and that I don't feel or relate to what is described as autism from what I researched or how it's described by autistic people. Even that I've never been diagnosed by a therapist and I've seen a lot. I still get people telling me I'm actually secretly masking and therapists could be wrong I should look into it.

I have no issues with autistic people I just know I don't have it I'm just really fucked from trauma and it's kinda annoying for people to tell you what you are when you know you aren't it's invalidating and I don't get why you would do this when so many autistic people got through this.

I think I was always meant to die young because I don't think I was meant to be alive at all. I find life suffocating. Trying to be human. Doing things "right". It makes it hard to breath. I wake up and I just want my soul to leave my body or to peel off my skin layer by layer till there's nothing left and scream into the void and run into oblivion. I find being alive suffocating. I don't think I can be who I want till death when the rules of society don't apply to me anymore. I'm happy I'll be dead soon so I don't have to play these games just to barely survive for a morsel of what's called a life.

I just find life either too hard or uneventful. I wish my soul could just float from my body and I could just live without human restrictions. I don't even like anything anymore I'm just here.

I’m 25F black from California I feel like that’s relevant since I assume there isn't a big black population? I am planning to go back to school and will be eligible for a WHV. That's obviously not the only reason I'm going back lol.

I’m at my wits in with how my life is here. I’m not stupid and think if I move to another county life will be perfect and all my problems will be solved but I just can’t keep living like this I need a change. I've always wanted to live in another country and this is one of the "easier" ways.

Basically I want to know if I packed up and did this for a year would it be impossible for me to get work there? Like how hard is it to get a job there? Would I be able to become a waitress or something pretty easily? And I know you guys have a housing problem over there. Would it just be impossible to even find a room to rent or a roommate to share an apartment with? Is that only in the bigger cities like Dublin or Cork?

I know I’d only be eligible for low level jobs will it be hard to live on salaries for that type of work? Also on average does it take long to find work? How much would I need to save before I leave?

Am I being too unrealistic and shouldn’t even bother I feel like I am.

I’m 25F black from CA I feel like that’s relevant is New Zealand a racist country? I have no degree but 8 years of job experience like retail and office work.

I’m at my wits in with how my life is here. I’m not stupid and think if I move to another county life will be perfect and all my problems will be solved but I just can’t keep living like this I need a change.

Basically I want to know if I packed up and did this would it be impossible for me to get work there? I heard the job market is terrible. Would I fit in as a black woman or would I be uncomfortable?

I know I’d only be eligible for low level jobs will it be hard to live on salaries for that type of work? Also on average does it take long to find work? I’m not interested in working on a farm I feel like that limits my options. How much would I need to save before I leave?

Am I being too unrealistic and shouldn’t even bother I feel like I am.

EDIT: I’m aware it’s only a 1 year visa. I don’t know why people think I’m not. I mean picking up and moving to another country is pretty big and I want to make sure it’s something I can do and I won’t just be struggling and miserable the whole time.

This is my own fault I did this to myself. I don’t believe in God but if there is one he threw me a bone this one time and I fucked it up all by myself. Everything about my life already sucks and is difficult I got something easy and I fucked it up!!!! For my “future” WHAT FUTURE! I fucking hate myself I hate my life now I hate my job again. Everyday I go into work I feel suffocated I'm having a panic attack right now as I’m going in to work. I feel trapped and I did this to myself. I finally got what I wanted yet I still somehow screwed myself over.

I want to cry and scream and tear the world apart but I can’t do that I’m at work now. I can’t just quit either I have no money. So if I quit I’ll have to die. This was my plan all along. I thought I “beat” suicide but here I am again anyway because I’m completely mentally stupid and cause my own demise. I was thinking this just a month ago before I was planning to die last time no matter what happens even if I didn’t kill myself then which obviously I didn’t I know that’s how I’ll go with how my life is I won’t die of old age or something. I was right lol. I was planning to go on vacation but I’m in too much agony I can’t live like this for another 6 months 6 years etc. I’ll probably do it at the end of the month I plan to see Spider Man.

I mean I always hate my life but now since I made this dumbass decision I hate it even more. My whole life is filled with bad decision and self sabotage. My heads just not screwed on right maybe I secretly like hating everything and that's why I keep making such fucked up choices. I'm feeling impulsive and since life sucks already might as well say fuck it all. I'm going on vacation soon.

Is there anything exciting going on then? I am going to Korea in winter for sure during Christmas for my bday but should I stay during NYE? the prices for flights are so expensive then. Will I be missing anything better than what’s in America?