u/Ulchbhn

I just finished my sessions of EMDR for wasp related childhood trauma and I am no longer afraid of nor do I hate wasps anymore. I actually want to devote the rest of my week to studying them so I can understand their benefits to our ecosystem as well as what makes them such a unique species for our world. I am so sorry that I have led everyone along with my sheer wasp hatred… I will be transitioning over to waspaganda. My deepest condolences for the damage I have done 🥺 (i’ve never hurt wasps just didn’t like em btw in case i needed to make that clear)

Currently reading The Starving Saints and A Botanical Daughter and I’m LOVING them and want more like this. Whether it’s philosophical and moving or just straight up gore and madness I’m open to it. Romance is optional.

Here are some of my favorite books/authors that fit under this umbrella to give context:

- Anything by Poppy Z Brite
- Anything by Clive Barker (love that man to death he has such a unique and expansive imagination and everything he creates is gold imo)
- Our Share of Night
- Between Two Fires
- Carmilla
- The Picture of Dorian Gray

Happy to read all your suggestions! 🫶

We did bilateral tapping on my knees to process a traumatic memory from childhood that involves wasps (I don’t go into excessive detail so as not to trigger anybody). We already went over my toolbox and grounding techniques so I felt ready. It was a very unique experience, sort of like trying to force my brain to fall asleep and dream while I’m still awake but I still maintain agency and control over it. She walked me through the entire process and by the end of it I burst into tears, both from joy and from sadness for little me that had to experience that. She immediately congratulated me and was so proud of me for getting through it, and said it was one of the most successful and impressive first sessions she has had. I’m so lucky to have such a wonderful therapist for this, I wouldn’t rather it be anyone else. Even just writing this I feel myself welling up because of how loved and protected I feel in this moment. We’re visiting the memory again next week to hopefully completely process the memory to the point where it no longer brings me fear and anxiety. I’m just so grateful for this experience and every moment I have is so affirming of this path I have chosen for myself. I would love to hear your comments and experiences below. Thank you for listening.

I made a post a long time ago a few months into my estrangement with a similar request. I got a lot of really helpful responses illustrating why it might not be the best time and how it might be more harmful than helpful for the both of us.

Things have changed, I’m moving to a new place, I’m going back to school, and I’m starting EMDR treatment for my trauma. It’s been a wild ride, and while I still get overwhelmed at times, I feel more in control of my life than I have in quite some time. I acknowledge that there are some things she may have said or done that we cant come back from, but what I would like to do is to create a path forwards thats safe for both of our situations.

I’m currently drafting a letter where I want to lay out all of the things I have to say, the reality, my acknowledgement of her own traumatic past, my boundaries, and how I would like to move forwards in a way that can make us both happy.

I’ve been reading quite a bit of psychology lately and an idea that stood out to me was how the trauma our families go through affects all of us, and while I cant change the past, I can acknowledge our pain and address the things we cant control. I’m not saying that I’m okay with everything she has done, but I’m okay with the reality that her own history may have affected her in a way that affects how she expresses her love and affection for others.

Holding onto this resentment I have in my heart is killing me inside, when I see she’s just trying to love me in the ways she knows how to. Especially when I know how much she’s been supporting me even when I haven’t said a word or seen her face in months.

Her birthday is coming up, and Id like to invite her to lunch and to the movies to see The Odyssey, an adaptation of both of our favorite books of all time. I think thats a solid place to start, and I’m wondering what advice you guys may have thats helped with your own reunions.

Thank you if you read this far.

At first I thought this was gonna be a really cool atmospheric lore area and now I think I’m in hell. I hate the stupid stilt birds, I hate that their main attraction is light and that the only way you can navigate this area is with light, and I hate how long this part feels even though its one of the shortest parts of the game. I changed my quality of life settings to make my circles so that I don’t make it all the way to the end just to get rained to death and I’m still getting screwed. How did anyone make it past this part?

I’m going through many changes in my life right now and everything I have learned about this practice just feels right for me so I’m taking the leap and doing it. I met my therapist, she seems lovely and I look forward to working with her. I’m a little nervous about the road ahead but I know ultimately it will be good for me. I decided to get a new journal to keep throughout my journey, think it might help with my processing of events. Id love to hear any advice or stories you might have.

I read Between Two Fires last month and I literally cant stop thinking about it so I’ve been on a quest to find games that feel like it since then. Basically medieval dark fantasy with a meaningful story that explores themes of hope against a backdrop of desolation, bonus if it has sick ass monsters/warped depictions of divinity.

I’ve been playing through the Blasphemous games and so far they have been really scratching that itch but I need MORE. Some other games that I have that might qualify for this are Fear and Hunger, obviously Dark Souls & Elden Ring, possibly Clair Obscur?

Idk whatever this aesthetic is pls just inject it into my veins I need more of this shit.

My partner and I had a discussion where he told me he wants us to live apart when we have to find a new place. I’ve been a wreck ever since. This is the man of my dreams and I want to spend my life with him. In fairness to him, he set clear conditions for us to renew a lease and I didn’t meet them so this entire thing feels like my fault and I cant help but feel guilty about it. He told me that this isn’t forever and he still wants to be with me and this is only while we figure things out as humans and I’m still scared. Up until this point I’ve lived only with family or roommates or partners, so I would truly be starting over again and it would be immensely difficult. I don’t even know where I would begin. He says he believes in me and wants us to work on ourselves so we can start a life and he tells me all of these sweet and nice things but I cant help feeling so sad and hurt. I’ve been crying on and off all afternoon and I don’t know how to move past this pain in my heart and learn how to be a person. I know I’m catastrophizing but I cant see outside of it. I need someone to tell me it’s going to be okay.