u/fiddeldeedee

Ja, ich weiß, Posts über grauenvolle Hundehalter sind hier mindestens so beliebt wie die über Raucher.

Aber womit? Mit RECHT!!

Ernsthaft, ich habe in meiner Nähe einen netten kleinen Wald mit Spielplatz. Top. Gehe da auch regelmäßig mal lang.

Aber diese widerwärtigen Hundehaufen werden immer mehr!! Mein Kind kann ich da schon gar nicht mehr lang laufen lassen und mit dem Kinderwagen muss ich dauernd aufpassen, nicht in einen Kackhaufen zu fahren. Heute lag da sogar einer direkt mittig auf dem Weg!

Und natürlich gibt es jetzt auch Ecken auf dem Spielplatz, vom denen ich mein Kind fern halten muss, denn klar, man kann seinen Hund ja prima auf Steine kacken lassen und das da liegen lassen...

Ich krieg dabei so einen Hass!!

Wenn man keinen Bock darauf hat, die Kacke seines Tieres aufzusammeln, dann soll man sich verdammt noch mal keinen Hund zulegen!!!

Und wieso kontrolliert bitte nie jemand mal die Hundehalter??

Blitzmarathon schön und gut, mag auch seine Berechtigung haben, aber es kotzt mich nur noch an, wie viele widerwärtige rücksichtslosen Egomanen einem das Leben mit den Landmienen ihrer Vierbeiner erschweren!!

Und vor allem: macht ja keiner was dagegen. Zum Kotzen einfach nur.

Es fällt mir nichts dazu ein.

Mein Freund (mitte 30 und Vater eines Kleinkindes wohlgemerkt) lässt seinen PC 24/7 an. Ja, komplett, inklusive Monitor.

24/7.

Und wehe, ich sage ihm, dass er das Teil wenigstens an den heißen Tagen ausmachen soll.

Er gibt auch keinen Grund dafür an, wieso das Gerät nun stop läuft.

Gut, manchmal lässt er ein blödes Uraltgame im Hintergrund an. Aber nicht immer.

Und ganz ehrlich, es kotzt mich nur noch an. Das ist einfach so dämlich und ein massiver Stromverbrauch, davon abgesehen, dass die Geräte doch dadurch auch eher sterben.

Tl;dr: die familie meines Mannes half nicht, brachte aber dumme sprüche schon vor der Geburt und mag mich offen nicht. Ich möchte nicht, dass mein sohn sie kennen lernt, auch nicht, wenn er allein bei seiner Oma ist.

Schon vor der Schwangerschaft gab es einen offenen Konflikt, als ich dem Bruder meines Mannes sagte, dass ich es nicht ok fand, dass seine Freundin meinen Mann als einzigen aus der Familie ausschließt und er das nicht verdient hat.

Daraufhin löschte er mich bei WhatsApp und meldet mich seither. Dass er mich schon oft beleidigt hat, streitet die Familie ab.

Der Rest der Familie fand es scheinbar ok, dass mein Mann als einziger ausgeschlossen wurde.

Während der Schwangerschaft kamen dann von Onkel und Tante meines Mannes wiederholt dumme Sprüche (Ich sei eine Rabenmutter, weil ich für mein Baby keinen Schnuller wollte) und es wurde breit und wiederholt geklagt, dass unser Baby ein Junge sei.

Beim Umzug und im Wochenbett bot niemand seine Hilfe an und es meldete sich auch keiner bei mir. Bei einem Videoanruf ignorierte der Onkel mich sogar gänzlich, obwohl wir gerade das Baby zeigten, was auf meinem Arm war.

Als ich dieses Jahr dem Onkel gute Besserung wünschte, ignorierte er auch das.

Der Bruder kam einmal unangekündigt und krank zu Besuch ins Krankenhaus und zum zweiten Weihnachten des Kindes schenkte er ihm was. Von Onkel und Tante kam nie was. Einmal als wir sie einluden hatten sie keine Zeit.

Bei Geburtstagen der Mutter meines Mannes blieb ich mit den Kind Zuhause und wir machten Videoanrufe, wobei die Freundin des Bruders demonstrativ wegsah.

Jedenfalls möchte ich nicht, dass die Familie meinen Sohn kennen lernt, auch nicht, wenn er mal allein bei seiner Oma ist.

Da sie das in eine unangenehme Lage bringen könnte frage ich mich: bida?

And if I had known that you had feelings too, I would never have thought of choosing someone over you.

The truth is I thought you wouldn't really care. That I was just someone you kept close in case no one better came around.

It took me many years to finally have a relationship with someone else.

But I wasn't over you.

And when we met when I was just new in a relationship I felt such a strong urge to kiss you and be close to you, I knew I couldn't keep you close.

I had to keep a distance towards you.

And so I did.

But we never... lost each other.

And I wished I had known that you had feelings, too. And that those were deep and true.

Because I was in love with you.

And if I could turn back time I'd do. I'd be brave just for once and make sure you knew.

Knowing now that you had feelings too haunts me.

Because the truth is... no matter how much time has passed... I never got over you. Nor did anyone else ever come close to you.

And if I could I would make up for it.

If I were free to do so, I'd come back running to you.

But life moved on and it's a cruel joke that I could have had you and now that I know... it is too late. My life moved on without you and I can't be with you just now... and when I'll be free... truth is... I won't ever be free entirely now and why would you keep up with such a burden?

I was in love with you. And knowing that you had feelings too feels like losing you again.

I wished I had known. I wished you had known. I wished we had been brave back then.

Because I would have always chosen you.

After my mother met my boyfriend for the first time she let me know I could barely have found myself a better man.

She became oddly fond of him real soon. She knew him for less than a month when she started to believe she could treat him better than his own mother... with whom he never had a problem.

She started her silent rivalry with his mom right there and then (his mother never did such a thing).

She also refused to meet that woman and was full of hate for no reason.

She bragged to everyone about my boyfriend and how amazing he was. And was always showering him with attention and compliments and what not. She obviously preferred him over me.

At times when she knew we would come to visit she'd also wear clothes I'd consider to be inappropriate, for example an extremely short skirt and tops with way too much cleavage.

When she wore those shorts skirts she also miraculously dropped things and had to pick them back up. It didn't happen at other times.

And then when we took pictures on Christmas something odd occurred to me.

In those that she took with me we were standing next to each other and only in some pictures our arms were loosly around our backs, just some normal posing. She also often positioned herself away from me.

But in those pictures of her and my bf she hugged him with both her arms around him tightly so that there was no space left between them.

He stood straight and looked into the xamera, jt was all her.

She also didn't care when our relationship went sour, she openly preferred him over me. It's so sick looking back.

Habe auf dem Spielplatz Sandspielzeug und einen Ball dabei gehabt, wie so oft.

Klar durften da natürlich auch andere Kinder mit spielen, keine Frage, das ist selbstverständlich.

Aber was ich jetzt erlebt habe, macht mich wirklich wütend.

Da wollte ich gehen und suche die Sachen zusammen und zig Sachen fehlen.

Mein Ball? Den hätte ich nie wieder gefunden, hätte ich nicht nochmal nachgefragt. Der war abseits in einem Dornengebüsch.

Wäre die Familie vor mir gegangen, wäre der einfach weg. Aber der hätte auch ganz locker über dem Zaun, vor dem er war, landen und ganz weg sein können. Hat die Mutter nicht mals drauf geachtet.

Und ein Teil meines Sandspielzeuges ist jetzt weg. Da hat die Mutter noch behauptet, dass ausgerechnet mit den Dingen, die fehlten, ihre Kinder nicht gespielt hätten, aber sie wusste ja nicht mals, dass mein Ball längst ganz woanders gelandet war. Und meinte dann noch, es sei ja normal, dass die Sachen verschwinden.

Ich bin so wütend darüber, dass hier so selbstverständlich meine Sachen bzw die meines Kindes sonst wo verteilt werden und verschwinden.

Und wäre die Familie vor uns gegangen hätte ich noch blöder da gestanden.

Wieso passt die Mutter nicht auf oder bringt ihren Kindern bei, dass das so nicht ok ist??

-.-

Wie lang hat es gedauert, bis ihr ein gutes Gefühl dabei hattet, dass sich eure Katzen (weitestgehend) frei bei euch Zuhause bewegen und ab wann war es für euch auch selbstverständlich, dass sie da sind, also einfach normaler Alltag?

Und: womit habt ihr nicht gerechnet, als ihr euch Katzen geholt habt? Irgendwas, was euch auch bei der vorherigen Recherche nicht begegnet ist?

Being a sahm is a luxury, sure, but it's incredibly lonely as well.

I know it's something most women can only dream off: having 2 years of maternity leave - and also being on leave during pregnancy.

But it is incredibly exhausting to be alone all the time. Every one is working, so I am there with my lo. And I love spending time with him, he is the most amazing person I know, but I wished I would have someone to talk to, to have real conversations with.

It's been almost 20 years since I first caught feelings for him.

Only recently did we have a conversation where we found out that both of us had feelings for each other and expected to end up together.

There were so many missed chances!

And I was a mess back then, I honestly believed that if he'd get to see me for who I am (outside and inside) he'd reject me and wouldn't even want to talk to me. I was too scared to accept his love.

And later on I was too scared of my own feelings and tries to deny them.

We both tried to make steps towards the other but somewhere we were never brave at the same time.

After many years he finally kissed me and later an, when I asked what it meant he played it down.

We even almost had s*x, but he stopped and I thought it was because he didn't have feelings for me/wasn't attractive.

And somehow it was impossible for us to finally be an item.

And thus after many, many years I finally moved on and entered a relationship.

And I kept a distance towards this man as best as I could. We only texted occasionally.

I noticed how much I wanted to see him, but I didn't give in.

Only two years ago did we talk on the phone a few times and only a few months ago did we meet again.

And what can I say? After looking back on our history, after seeing him again... I'm not over him.

How do I get over him after such a long time???

Is this normal??

Why is this still going on?

I went nc early January this very year.

My mother stood in front of my apartment door on my birthday, rang the bell a couple of times and left a present and a card.

Today a package arrived. No card inside. But a shirt for my child.

But not just any.

Last year she had asked if I liked it to which I had replied that it wasn't to my boyfriend's nor my own taste for our son.

Yep, she bought it for him anyhow for this year and send it without a note.

I guess she really wants to make sure he gets it anyhow.

Don't really now what to make out of this.

Edit: tomorrow is mother's day.

I'm sorry I wasn't ready. I'm sorry I was messed up.

I'm sorry I couldn't allow myself to feel and accept your love.

It was obvious.

And I wished we'd end up together.

But I wasn't ready.

I couldn't believe anyone could like me at all - let alone love.

I felt worthless and disgusting and was afraid you wouldn't even want to speak to me if you came to see who I really was.

I was sure, if you'd see me, truly see me, my body, my soul, you'd realise how worthless I was. And you'd regret all the time you wasted on me.

And thus I didn't show you my love in a way that was too obvious. And I didn't even try to make a step towards you.

There is no way a boy your age could have been secure enough to break through all of my walls.

I wished I had been ready. But I wasn't. I was a traumatised girl from a horrible background who was made to feel worthless. I was too young to see I through it. I was too sad.

And you have no idea how much I loved you. Or for how long.

Or that speaking to you was my highlight of each day.

I wished you'd knew that I was in love with you, too.

I wished you'd know that you didn't do anything wrong. You were young as well. And scared.

And when we got older... and there were still chances... we were still too scared.

I wished the stars had been in our favour, I wished we had made it work.

Just a chance for us... for a version of us as an us, an actual you and me. That's what we would have deserved.

To experience what it would have been like...

But we were young and I was not able to allow myself to be loved. I thought I didn't deserve it... and that no one would be able to.

I'm sorry I didn't have enough faith in us. But the thought of losing you scared me too much.

I'm sorry I was not ready. I wished I was.

And I wished you'd know... that I have truly been in love with you. More than you will ever know.

Weil sich im Internet ja schnell das Negative sammelt, wollte ich mal positive Erfahrungsberichte von euren Kitas hören.

Besonders, falls da Zweijährige im halboffenen Konzept waren aber auch generell.

Es ist ja das eine, dass Kinderkleidung (damit meine ich auch solche für Babys) dem sad beige mom Trend zum Opfer gefallen zu sein scheint und es erschreckend schwer ist, mal leuchtende, knallige, klare Farben zu sehen.

Aber wieso muss denn Regen-/Matschkleidung so oft in den dunkelsten Farben sein? Dunkelblau, dunkles Grün, dunkel Braun. Klar, wenn die Regenwolken alles verdunkeln möchte ich unbedingt, dass so ein laufender Meter (falls die Höhe denn überhaupt mal erreicht ist, derzeit ist das nicht mals der Fall) dann aber bitte noch schön farblich getarnt ist.

Generell: wie schwer kann es sein, mal Outdoorjacken für Kinder in leuchtenden Farben zu gestalten? Sogar hellblau ist ein Rarität. Dauernd dunkel blau und andere Farben. Klar, sieht schön aus, aber es geht doch um Sicherheit?

Und jetzt aber mal das, was mich am meisten aufregt: es ist doch erwiesen, dass man gewisse Farben im Wasser bedeutend schlechter wahrnehmen kann, als andere.

Wieso um alles in der Welt wird dann Badekleidung für Kleinkinder und Kinder so oft in blau-/grüntönen angeboten?! Damit man die Kinder bitte ganz schnell aus den Augen verliert und sie in Ruhe ertrinken können?!!

Letztes Jahr hab ich wenigstens hin und wieder mal die Farbe Rot gefunden. Aber dieses Jahr sehe ich mich in den gleichen Geschäften um und was sehe ich? Dunkelblau.

Ja, danke für gar nichts!

Ästhetik ist nicht alles. Gerade bei kleinen Menschen, die sowieso absolut kein Gespür für Gefahren haben, wäre es so wichtig, dass man sie sieht. Aber nö.

Und dann dieser absolut überzogene Genderwahn.

Ich hab für meinen Sohn nach Baustellenfahrzeugen geschaut (als Spielzeug). Die gibt es in gelb oder einem Mix aus bunten Farben (gelb, blau, rot). Soweit so gut. Aber die Mädchenversion ist rein pink. Gefühlt dürfen Mädchen auch nur noch pink tragen, pinke Spielsachen haben...

Versteht mich nicht falsch, es ist toll, wenn Mädchen die Farben bekommen, die sie wollen. Aber gefühlt ist _alles_ pink.

Oder lila. Wow.

Und bei Jungen? Dunkelblau. Dunkles, matschiges Grün. Beige. Braun.

Toll.

Rot ist tot. Und es nervt mich nur noch. Vor allem bei Badekleidung. Da ist es einfach nicht sinnvoll.

Es gibt ja diese Namensaufkleber, die auf Brotdosen, Kleidung usw kommen...

Habt ihr Empfehlungen/könnt ihr von bestimmten Marken abraten?

Und: bekommt man die aus der Kleidung auch vernünftig raus?

Tl;dr: A friend suggested we'd visit a flea market together. I went there roughly 25 minutes before her. When she arrived she didn't seem to want to spend time with me and hasn't spoken to me since. Aitah because I went there earlier than her?

Last year I met a woman whose daughter is around the same age as my son and who lives near by.

We met almost every week, mostly on playgrounds and send messages almost daily, mostly voice messages.

Things started to turn a bit... sour, once I decided to put my child into daycare instead of the childminder she brings her daughter to (it's one woman who takes care of 5 children between the ages of nearly 1 year old and almost 3 years old). I'll add this fornl context.

Out of a sudden she stopped replying to voice messages at random points, even when we were in the middle of a private conversation which led me feeling... weird.

Anyhow she suggested we could attend a local flea market together. I agreed.

A day before she send a voice message which basically stated that she'd walk towards the flea market in a way that wouldn't make much sense for her to join her (according to her!) and she would be there 20 - 30 minutes afters it starts.

I texted her we could just meet there.

I went to the flea market when it opened, found some nice toys and clothes for my child. It was on a small parking lot so it was really easy to see one another.

When she saw me she said hello but then just walked away. I crossed her way a bit later, she met someone she knew and didnt introduce me so I stood there awkwardly. Then she walked away again. It felt really odd. I then decided to leave so I went to find her asked if she had found something. She appeared cold and so I just left.

Haven't heard from her since and it's been three weeks.

I'm confused.

But also she's been rather bitchy towards me for some time now and I don't want to come running after her.

But my question is: AITAH? Should I have texted her the moment I arrived or waited for her? I wouldn't have minded at all joining her on her search for things but she simply walked away from me and was cold. I didnt feel welcome...

Wie sind eure Eindrücken davon?

I noticed that throughout most of my life I have a tendency to have friends that appear cold.

They show few emotions in their voice or face, they show little empathy and/or they have trouble finding friends/interesting with other people, especially strangers.

I also had many female friends that had problems with keeping friends, that were acting bitchy rather fast (I'm sorry, that ugly word is apparently the only one google translate offered me) and difficult to be with.

Why is this the case? Why is this a pattern in my life?

I'd like to change it tbh

As the title says.

I noticed that for many, many years... actually for most of my life, I stuck to people who are reserved/cold and don't really care much about emotional needs.

I guess it makes sense since this is what I know: not being seen in this regard and not being cared for emotionally.

But it's incredibly lonely and I wished I knew how it felt to have people... care for those needs?

Did you experience something similar?? Did you get rid of that pattern - if so, how?

I first told my mom I had feelings for a girl when I was 9 years old. She told me I was wrong.

I had my first coming out towards close friends when I was around 21. Every single friend of mine that I told this was supportive, some had even expected as much.

However I never told my mother/family because them it's disgusting and a mental illness.

And I somehow... forgot about it?

And then at 32 I remembered again: yep, I'm absolutely 100% bi. It feels so liberating.

It also allows me to feel attraction towards men more clearly.

Anyhow, did some of you go through something similar? It's so odd to me.

Also: are some of you still in the closet? Only two people in my life know that I'm that I'm bi and I'm not sure my boyfriend remembers it and the other person is a dear old friend of mine who I have almost nothing to do with anymore... I'm also a bit scared of coming out _now_. I wouldn't know how my friends would react.