I really wished I was loved or someone showed the same affection I had for them. I never had a mutual crush I’ve only been lusted over. It’s getting to a point where I just want to disappear. I don’t think anyone will ever love me… and I don’t want to be here anymore.
I feel so left behind in life. I never got to experience true romance. Never been picked as pick me as that sounds. Never had a bf. Never had a mutual crush. Guys have been so mean to me in the past. I’ve become wildly insecure now because of it. I just have no will anymore and it’s made me depressed… I can’t imagine myself ever meeting anyone or someone actually liking me back. Or loving me… all I ever wanted was a family. I fear it’s too late for me.
I really just need someone to talk to… I have no friends and I can’t keep venting to my mom. I’m draining her. But I’m severely depressed and idk how to just be happy again. It hurts.
Anyone go to fort Washington? Lol I need a gym buddy to help me lock in.
I spent my entire graduation yesterday sad over a boy…. Someone who used to be supportive of me two weeks ago. Now… he just thumbs up my Snapchat of me saying I’m graduating lmao. Then sends a streak💀 idk how more pathetic I can get. But I definitely peaked. He always said congrats or hearted my stuff regarding school. Now just a thumbs up lol. Idk why I was stupid enough to think he cared or liked me back. To think I’m sitting at my masters graduation sad over a boy who probably doesn’t remember my last name 😂 I just want to experience reciprocation. I’m tired of constantly being rejected, ghosted, verbally abused, and used for sex. Why am I not deserving of that? Idk… I pray for it everyday and I feel as if my prayers are going unanswered. All my friends at the graduation had partners to go to… it made me feel sad. To know I never got to experience that. Then he goes and just thumbs up my snap… haha I’m a loser lowkey. Anyways… I got my masters and I’m proud of myself at least for that.
Lowkey thought about ending my life for like a year because of how extremely lonely I am. In all aspects of life haha but I’m graduating on Friday!! With my masters :) very proud of myself. It reminds me of how my dad told me I wasn’t good enough for college and that I’d drop out and not be successful. WELL first in the family to get a masters! And get to apply to doctoral programs soon as well.
Anyways good luck to everyone this semester!
I’m done with dating.. I’ve never had a bf lol I’m 26. I want to have a family.. get married. But it seems like no one wants that with me. I’m done with the dating apps. Done with the casual dates or casual hookups. Done with situationships. Done with the mixed signals, done with being friends first. Done with meeting through mutuals, clubs, school events, a bar, etc. I’m done lol. I’m especially done with the tarot readings because they’re always halfway true or just lies and scams. I’m done praying for it as well… I’m at a stage now where I don’t care anymore. Truly. No one will ever like me back. No reciprocity to be experienced. No one will take me serious. No will give me the love I so crave… I’m just going to be alone haha. And I have to learn to be okay with that.
Do yall think it’s weird If a sneaky link asks you if you’re going to hook up with other guys over the summer? Cause it was kinda awkward when he asked
This will sound pathetic. But I’ve been mourning a life I never had. I bought children’s clothes. Mainly baby clothes. Put them in a box and under my bed. Recently my dating life has been terrible. I’ve never had a bf, I never had a mutual crush. My last relationship wasn’t an actual one according to him and he would hit me, emotionally abuse me and SA me. So… I’m used to not being loved romantically. Idk what’s been happening but lately I’ve been mourning wanting a family. Wanting children. I feel like it’s not going to happen. Because of it I started buying baby clothes when I get my check and put it under my bed. I know it’s weird and it’s dumb but it’s how I cope with the harsh reality my life didn’t turn out the way I pray it will.. idk what’s wrong with me.