u/njsullyalex

I was a pretty frequent flyer in my teens and early 20s up until 2022. That same year I made a big life change and transitioned from male to female, and today actually marks 4 years to the day I started medical transition. Between then and now I also graduated college, sold my collection of planes, and moved across the country to start grad school.

4 years later, I'm getting some posts from this sub in my feed (I never left despite my hiatus from the hobby) and now with summer coming up I'm getting the itch to pick up flying again. I have a RadioMaster TX16S radio collecting dust at my parent's house that still works great, and I assume I can still use it for anything I want to fly even though its a 5 year old radio now.

So I looked into the local clubs and there are a few near me (I live in central New Jersey). The one thing that makes me nervous is RC flying has a reputation for being an old boy's club kind of hobby, which wasn't a problem when I was living as a boy, but 4 years of medical and social transition later, I'm pretty much fully passing as a woman and living as one full time. I'm really nervous about finding a place in local RC circles if I go forward with joining a club and how I might be treated by the older guys who go to the field. I get kind of nervous when I'm the only girl in a group of guys, a situation I find myself in quite a lot since I'm involved in a lot of (mainly cars and aviation related) male dominated hobbies. So how should I go about finding a way to fit into local RC circles as a woman, and are there any near me that would be welcoming of a woman pilot joining their ranks?

In addition, I'd need to get myself a new plane since I sold my fleet back in AZ. Where could I find a good deal on a small-medium sized park flyer? Local hobby shops, eBay, Horizon Hobby's website when there is a sale? Also, any good plane recommendations for someone returning but with previous experience? (By the time I left I was flying scale warbirds and EDF jets, I also have some IRL flying experience as a student pilot, but I'm looking for something more intermediate, such as a scale 4-5 channel Carbon Cub or UMX EDF, and something that won't break the bank). Lastly, AMA certificate and drone registration fees - should I just bite the bullet on both of those once I commit to getting a new plane and signing up for a local flying club?

I’m surprised us trans people are still being supported by the wider community and not total social pariahs with how we’re now being labeled terrorists by the government. I’m scared that by associating with the wider LGBTQ+ community as a trans woman I’m putting a big target on everyone’s back and am more of a liability than anything. Trump still seems fine with LGB people and is instead specifically targeting trans people. At what point does the rest of the community disown us trans people to protect lesbians/gay men/bi people from losing their rights and safety?

Title. Often the mistakes have nothing to do with me being trans, I just know how to hit myself where it hurts the most. I start saying stuff like "Trump is right and I deserve to be V coded" and compounding my anger by telling myself I'm endangering other women's rights and am a predator for trying to transition and look like a woman or use the women's bathroom...

I don't get why I have this deep seeded self hatred. I always then go back to the stuff my parents said when I came out as trans and blame myself for my parent's mental health and get angry at anyone who tries to make me feel better for "hugboxing" me. I'm sorry, I just got out of a bad spiral over something that had nothing to do with me being trans, I just wish there was a healthier way to get my frustrations out that didn't hurt anyone else other than directing it all inward...

Edit: I also just received a permaban from r/trans because I was having a crashout and said something rash there. Deserved on my part tbh, why am I like this like actually what is wrong with me