u/nobodyknows6070

Precies zoals de titel

Liefst biologisch katoen, maar dan wel met unhinged borduursels of opdrukken, kleine bedrijven het liefst, grappige shirts, ik zoek leuke cadeau's voor vrienden, mijn partner en vind zelf grappige shirts leuk

TLDR We've been together 2-2,5 years and I have recently started thinking it might be a good idea, but I feel bad financially and towards my dad, because we renovated the appartment about half a year ago.

So, this is a major life decision and I don't know if this is the right sub, but let me explain.

My bf and I have been together for 2 years after we dated half a year, so we have been romantically involved with each other 2,5 years.

Recently I have been thinking more and more often about how nice it would be to move in together. For the last couple months.

We always spoke about how we would only move in if we've been together 4-5 years or something, but recently with the heatwave he stayed at my appartment for about a week.

Now, this is a short time but it made me think even more.

I recently renovated my entire appartment (rental appt, not big enough for 2 people) together with my dad. It would feel bad to now move in with my bf shortly after we renovated this whole place. The floorings, painted the walls and ceiling, Hung curtains, lamps etc. Then the floor my dad put here half a year ago he can now remove and put in a new house. You know?

If we would move in, we would look at social housing bc we can't pay the free market. This means the time between the decision of moving in together and actually moving in together could take months, even years. It could also take weeks if we are incredibly lucky.

My bf and I talked about this and soon he will 'move in' with me for a couple weeks to see how that goes. I mentioned before the appt is pretty small, but for some kind of trial it is possible.

We went on a week long vacation twice, so we do know how it is to spend longer than a weekend together.

He says we don't have to hurry if I am not comfortable and don't make a decision you're not sure about.

Help me arrange my thoughts!

So I (25NB/F) have been friends with, let's name him Marc (26M) for almost 4 years.

Marc and I got to know each other as coworkers. I started working at the same retail store shortly after a nasty break up of a 1,5 year relationship. My bf cheated.

Marc and some other coworkers kind of were there for me. I just met them, so they weren't the biggest support, I already had my dear friends, but Marc did always listen and give great advice.

One night after a couple drinks I asked him something flirty and he said he was dating another coworker, let's call her A. I sincerely apologised and didn't make a move after.

Now this is were my timeline gets a little wonky, but I think they dated a couple weeks or months, until A. called it off. Shortly after is when Marc and I started contacting each other more frequently, which he initiated, not me. About 2-3 months after A. And Marc were over, we dated romantically and were physical together for about 2 weeks when I told him I started to like him. This scared him off I think, he wasn't ready for that and called it off, so to speak. No hard feelings, it wasn't that deep for me anyways, we stayed friends.

Now, this was about half a year after my breakup I think, so half a year after I started working there, which means Marc and I known each other half a year as well.

At this point A. wanted to try again, and Marc wanted it too. Our contact (platonically) got less over time, but it was not gone. I understood, we dated for a short time so it must've been awkward.

One night, after Marc and I only texted once every few days/once every week and just short convo's, he called me in a total panic. I drove to his house quickly and turned out A. ended things again. I consoled him and asked if I could do anything for him, as a friend. He asked me to stay the night, which I agreed to. He then initiated some physical contact, cuddling and eventually it got steamy. I asked numerous times if he was 100% sure since it was just over with A., and he said something along the lines of him always have wanted this.

He was attractive even though my feelings had gone away at that point, I still thought of him as a very good guy.

We were friends with benefits for about half a year, texted every day and saw each other 2-3 times a week, sometimes Marc also showers very romantic gestures but we never ever said the L word or introduced each other to family or something.

Then I met someone (coincidentally also a coworker at the same company). Let's name him Jake.

I kind of got a crush on Jake, but unrelated to that wondered if I would consider seriously dating again. It has been almost a year since my break-up, and half a year since Marc and I dated for that brief period.

I quit working for that company, was still fwb with Marc and tried to forget about Jake's since I didn't think I had a chance. But I still felt like maybe I was ready for serious dating again.

I told Marc I didn't want to be friends with benefits anymore, he respected this, only tried to make a move once, a week later when we just hung out as friends, and that was it. I kind of laughed at him and said he had his chance.

Jake and I did get serious after a party with old co-workers I was still invited to, even though I didn't work there anymore. Jake asked me out for dinner and I immediately excitingly told Marc and the friend group, who all were excited for me, but Marc had become my best friend over time. He thought it was just platonic.

Jake and I actually seriously dated and are still together to this day!

That very same week, though, he started dating B, a friend of his sister. They had met before but never had I heard him talk about her. Not when we were friends, not when there were benefits involved, not when I told him I wanted to seriously start dating.

On like the third or fourth date with Jake I already told him about my past with Marc, and Jake mentioned he already noticed we acted a little flirty around each other up to a month before that. We can laugh about it to this day and sometimes Jake makes (genuine, not backhanded) jokes about it.

One thing that bothered me though, is how my contact with Marc went from every day texting and seeing each other twice a week, to seeing each other once every three months and an occasional text every couple weeks. He often didn't reply to my answer when he asked how I was doing. Of course when you go from fwb to just friends, some things change. But Marc had become my very best friend in that year and I genuinely missed his friendship. I felt used for my body and I felt like our friendship didn't mean as much to him as it did to me.

I talked to him about this and he understood but also explained how from his perspective this was like a normal amount of contact with someone he is not romantically or physically involved with.

He genuinely apologised for hurting me and said he would try to become a better friend.

He asked me more often how I was doing and replied more often, we met up with each other and with the friend group more often and it was fun. We also went partying sometimes again, Jake was there as well, and it was genuinely fun. Jake also knows about this whole talk we had, by the way.

Now fast forward: Marc and B. were together for almost a year now, Jake and I were also together for about a year, and Jake and Marc hosted a goodbye party, because they were leaving the company too. As an old coworker to many, and also Jake's partner, I was invited. Marc invited B. as well, even though she wasn't a coworker at this company. B. seemed like a very nice girl, and when we went to the bathroom at the same time, we got to talking. She knew Marc and I were best friends, which she had no problems with, but she asked for some advice because she had been getting into arguments with him lately. As his best friend, I might have an idea what to do.

We talked for hours, also about a lot of other things, not just to 'gossip', but she directed the conversation back to Marc again and after a while she said: "And what about when you two... You know...?" And I said: "You can just say we were friends with benefits, haha, we are all adults here, nothing to be weird about."

She was speechless, she got white and she said she did not know. I felt so bad about myself, but also I wondered why Marc didn't tell her we had been fwb for half a year!

B. said she meant the time we were dating for 2 weeks. She said he told her I liked him, but he never liked me, and nothing happened after that between us. He told her we only had been physical like 2 times. They weren't dating yet, back then, but still. Something big to lie about when you're best friends with someone you've been intimate with for about 6 months.

I was perplexed, a bit angry. But she was (understandably) furious.

Jake, Marc, B. and I all had to walk in the same direction after this party, and B. didn't want to confront him in public so she was just visibly upset refusing to hold his hand in the way home. It was very awkward and when they were out of sight, Jake immediately asked what it was about. I told him everything and almost cried because I thought I said something stupid and this ruined his relationship and our friendship. Jake reassured me and said he dug his own grave by doing this, and if he had just told her nothing was wrong, it wasn't my fault etc etc.

Jake also said "Well seems like he didn't want to tell B. how much he actually liked you, or maybe still does, deep down." I thought he was joking because he often jokes about how the whole world must be in love with me, but he wasn't. He said something about how he always sees Marc looking at Jake with a sad sort of jealousy whenever I am not looking.

The next day Marc called me, he wasn't mad or anything but he mentioned him and B. broke up. He had already lied about some other things in the past and now it was over because of this thing, but he assured me it was not my fault but his own.

The contact between me and Marc got more again, and I thought: hey, this is weird. I thought he was busy with work and it was just our absence of psychical contact that influenced the contact. Turns out it was not. Because now he had the time to text every day, call often and meet up once a week. I was there for him as a friend of a friend who had just gone through a break up. Felt not insecure anymore about being used for my body, but did think something like: "I'll remember this."

Now, buckle up.

A couple days after his breakup with B., he texted something about how he wanted to make things right, and how if there was anything that I was bothered by, or any questions I had, I could ask. I replied there was nothing I was wondering, but asked if there was something he had to get off his chest.

He then proceeds to tell me that when I told him I liked him (1,5 years ago?) he did like me back. He was just ashamed of what others might say, whatever that means. I didn't think much of it because he talked about it in past tense and I thought we were way past that. I thanked him for being honest and said "Well, yeah, Jake already thought something like that, haha" we laughed and didn't talk about it again, and I didn't feel the need to.

After a few weeks of me thinking our friendship was 'back to normal' and the frequency was exactly how it was when there were benefits as well, not feeling like an object anymore, he started dating C. Things got serious pretty quick and pretty soon they became a couple. C. was someone Jake already knew, and Jake and I talked about this situation. We thought it was weird for him to move on so quickly. But Jake didn't know C. well enough to talk to her and I didn't know C. at all so didn't feel in a position to tell her "Hey he just broke up" or something. Marc was crazy about her so I didn't want to ruin his happiness. Life is weird sometimes and they seemed happy.

But, you guessed it, contact got dialed down to a minimum again! In the whole year Marc and C. were together, we met up once. Not one on one like best friends do, but with the whole friend group.

I tried to meet up with Marc numerous times and every time he either canceled or just didn't reply.

Jake hosted a surprise party for my birthday this year, and Marc didn't show up even though Jake invited him. Jake never had a problem with us being friends, he himself also got to be pretty good friends with Marc over time.

I thought because so much time had passed and I already tried to talk to him about how the lack of contact made me feel like an object, our friendship was over. We texted like once every few months and again, just like when he was with B., he often didn't even reply.

I did tell him I had been struggling with depression lately and that might be why he wouldn't get a reply if he would text, he sent like 4 texts wishing me luck with that and being empathetic and once, a couple weeks later, asking how I was, and that was it. This was a couple months ago, like 3-4 months ago.

Jake and my friends offered to cook, swing by to help me clean, do groceries, took me out for mental health walks and offered to be 'on standby' at night for when I had nightmares. Of course friendship comes in many shapes and forms and nobody is obligated to show up a certain way, but even people I wasn't that close with offered to have "eat calls" to videocall and eat together of In had trouble eating alone, someone offered to just swing by for a cup of tea and open the curtains for me if they weren't open yet...

I was 100% sure my friendship with Marc was over and we were just two people who vaguely knew each other now. I was sad for a bit, but also thought eh, that's life, you know? I told Jake about my feelings tho and he listened very well and understood very well. I made peace with the fact this chapter of my life was closed and I had more than enough other friends as well (always had, it was never just Marc)

Until last week.

Jake has a group chat with old co-workers that sometimes hangs out, and for the first time in years, Marc showed up. Jake asked him genuinely how he was doing and Marc mentioned he was having some trouble with C. and they had been on a break.

When Jake told me this, my first thought was: "This probably means over the next couple days, Marc will text or call me again." And that thought scared me a bit. Was this my depressive insecurity rising or was this pattern recognition? I told Jake about my thoughts, we talked about it a bit, he understood (like he usually does) and then we just went to sleep.

You'll never fucking guess it, I wake up to a missed call from Marc. Unbelievable. I text and ask what happened. He said he had nobody to talk to, couldn't sleep and that him and C. will probably break up today.

I didn't know what to do with this information. We hadn't had any contact in over a month and hadn't seen each other in a year apart from that one time with a whole group. And all of a sudden he calls me when he can't sleep?

I decided to talk to him about this later, since he was now going through a breakup. I told him I was there for him etc. and he didn't really give a reaction to that.

He then texts "yeah we broke up".

I tried to console him and asked if I could do anything, but he brushed it off.

Jake was angry too, because when he was hanging out with them, Jake actively and kindly tried to support him and ask him if he wanted to talk about it. The next day he would come to talk about it with Jake, but he canceled last minute. Jake felt like the support he offered was brushed off but now he was crawling to me, Jake's partner, instead?

Marc hadn't said anything in the group chat or private chat to Jake either. As if he wasn't interested in telling any of the guys who he mentioned his relation issues to, that it was actually over. He was not looking for support from anyone, he was looking for it specifically from me.

I did not know what to think of it. I was furious and felt like all these years there was some intention of him trying to be romantic or intimate with me, secretly hoping I would cheat on Jake or something. This might seem way off, but a couple days later Marc texted me, saying he was sorry for bothering me in the middle of the night like that and asking me how I was.

I sent him this big ass text about how I am glad he started talking about it because I genuinely felt like a placeholder by the way he only ever contacts me when he is single or almost single. When he is taken, it's once a month if I am lucky, while I thought we were best friends. I went on this, I wanna say rant. But it wasn't a rant. I really thought it through, showed my friends and Jake and they all said it was very respectful, but it was a big long message. I told him I really didn't feel important to him and felt like he only texted when he needed something of me. I point blank said: "If you secretly have feeling for me or anything, just say it."

I said: "To answer your question: I feel like shit. I have been feeling like shit for the past months and you weren't even there for me through this very tough time. But as soon as you have a hard time, you expect me to pick up the phone in the middle of the night? You are treating me again like some placeholder for whenever you're single."

Now as I am writing this post, Marc and I are texting back and forth, and he keeps saying this wasn't his intention and this isn't what he meant, but he keeps dodging the question if he still has feelings for me.

I feel disgusted and used, I feel like my friendship with him was just a game and his relationships and the lack of contact might've just been a way to get me jealous or something. I feel so weird... Help. Did I overreact?

Why is a hot shower very nice, hot saunas etc. But outdoor heat is terrible?

Bonus question: why is our body temp 38°c but when it's that temp outside it is extremely hot?

Many times people have said to me (25NB), to each other, in movies, shows, articles:

"Don't worry so much about what others think of you."

Which is good theory but in practice you can't just simply stop worrying about what others think of you, right?

How do people actually follow this advice? What actions do they take?

Many times people have said to me, to each other, in movies, shows, articles:

"Don't worry so much about what others think of you."

Which is good theory but in practice you can't just simply stop worrying about what others think of you, right?

How do people actually follow this advice? What actions do they take?

Hi all!

My name is Lidan, I am 25 and have had an X in my passport for almost 4 years now.

I am currently taking drivers lessons and am planning on buying a campervan as my first car to take weekend trips and to use for the travel towards a further destination for longer holidays.

We live in the Netherlands, so most of the weekend trips will be in neighbouring countries and longer holidays by train or with the van will be in Europe. But once every 5-10 years we are thinking of going to Asia, Africa or Australia by plane.

On the website of the Dutch government, on the page of traveling with an X in your passport, there is a list of every single Embassy and the advice to call the Embassy of the country you want to go to, before booking any hotel or flight.

This seems like a hassle, to check the Embassy every time we travel, call, wait in a call menu, etc etc.

We would like an overview to quickly plan trips further out spontaneously or to not have to constantly check with Embassy if we can travel to other continents.

We look like a straight couple. I am AFAB and have a feminine gender expression, he is a cis man with masculine gender expression. We are very lucky to never have had to deal with people harassing us based off of how queer we look.

We are just concerned about the borders or for example if we can get medical help or if we can safely go to the police when something gets stolen, without the chance of a hate crime occurring once they see my passport.

Is there any way others document this on a website, or someone has a list of this they frequently update, they are willing to share? Where for example: every time you travel there or call the Embassy you can fill on the website what the result of it was so others don't have to do the entire process to check it.

Any help?

TLDR:

Is there a website or overview of countries you can travel to with an X in your passport, as well as whether or not you will be protected by law against discrimination, just in case you have to deal with medical issues or issues with police on the way?

Me (25-NB) and my bf (26-M) been together +/-2yrs.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD, unmedicated & on a waiting list for therapy for depressive thoughts & an autism diagnose. He is not diagnosed, never had therapy, but suspects he has ADHD, maybe also autism.

We've had arguments, mostly abt communication & planning. In regards to planning: I have a strict color coded planning, multiple alarms (to help with my ADHD) etc. He doesn't have any of that, often oversleeps or forgets tasks & appointments.

Also he stonewalls. Very often. In the middle of an argument he just leaves. He drives home & doesn't answer calls/texts for hrs or a day.

He gets triggered by raising voices. I'm trying to stop. I'm aware this is my own defense mechanism when I feel unheard. I often feel my voice is at a normal volume when he tells me I'm raising my voice. He often even says he can't believe I'm not aware of it. This hurts, bc I'm trying my best. I'm starting to doubt if there's something wrong with me. After every argument he says he shouldn't 've said that & realises how hard it is for me.

He knows stonewalling triggers me. He said numerous times he will try to stop too or at least distance himself calmly and lovingly.

Over the past yrs, I've been trying to change my behaviour with books, websites, articles, conversations with friends & family etc.

I offered buying a book written by a therapist to read together. He said it was a good idea. We both bought a book he picked & agreed to each read 1 chapter every mnth.

This is now 1/2yr ago. After page 37 I stopped bc I waited for him to finish.

He said he would read it. He didn't. I asked him, he would look into it the next week. He didn't. Every time, excuses: work, time, forgetfulness etc.

2 wks ago we talked abt it. He explained he would love to read the book sitting next to each other, cosy. A misunderstanding. We found a middle way & agreed: He would read 37 pages on his own & after that we'd continue reading together.

In the meantime, over the past 1/2yr, we talked abt him going to therapy bc through his new job he could get it online for free. Over time his opinion changed often. He said he wanted it, the next wk he said he didn't feel it necessary and felt pressured (I just reminded him of his own plans). At some point (unrelated to his own plans) I said if he couldn't stop stonewalling on his own, he should try therapy. He agreed, but ever since he made that promise, he always finds an excuse. "I would've left 5 min later anyways" or "I felt justified bc you raised your voice". After every argument he suddenly agrees, apologises & says he will try his best to not do it again.

A few mnths ago he helped my best friend (E) move. E told me he brought it up. E said: "He told me he'd try therapy, but he also said something about how he's only doing this to make you stop asking." The next day I calmly explained what E told me. He felt deeply sorry & said it was probs a joke E misunderstood. (E is diagnosed w/ autism). I asked him (bc his opinion changes so much) if he even sees a benefit in therapy. He said help with time management and stress was what he wanted. I asked him when I can expect him to start, because it's part of an agreement we made. He ensured me in about 6 wks.

This is 2mnths> ago.

We also spoke abt trying relationship therapy, he looked into it via work, but could only find some courses.

Anyway, it was going good for a couple wks. I even told him how proud I was of how we handled conflict lately.

Until last wk. Again, he stonewalled. I didn't text or call him at all this time. I felt abandoned, sad & angry, but bc this happens so often, not a single tear appeared. I just went to sleep. I was just tired of this.

We tried to talk it out on his day off a couple days ago. We got into a huge fight abt stonewalling, but also abt all the things I asked him to do & he never did. I was angry with him bc these & many other things I asked him in a loving manner again & again & he alwasy says he'll look into it & he. never. does.

We talked abt relationship therapy again & I said I felt it necessary, maybe we should put money aside for it. He agreed but he wanted do this via work, bc he's in debt & didn't think "it was worth the money". I was confused, bc last time he said it was just courses. He denied: "It was online therapy and YOU didn't want that." I am 100% sure that isn't what happened, but decided to join him in his attempt to get out of it. I asked him when he was planning on looking into this. He said monday. I said: "Do you understand I don't have the trust you will actually follow up, considering how you dealt with other promises?"

He told me that it was because I always remind him at the wrong times. Oh hell nah. I said I was not his secretary or calendar or f-ing mom. This time I was not going to let him get away with an empty promise, a lousy excuse & shifting blame, so I asked: "Why don't you set an alarm?" Instead of answering, he got his phone out of his pocket and yelled: "You know what, fine!" to which I replied: "I asked you why you made a certain decision & you don't answer the question, you act like I'm forcing you to do something. I am not responsible for you to keep promises YOU made so: why don't you set an alarm?" Him: "You know it doesn't work that way & yes, it sounds like you're forcing me!"

At one point I also said he could've easily read the book, since he's with his friends 3-4 times/wk. He replied he barely has enough time to relax & if he would've read those 37 pages he would have been "neglecting himself"

Eventually it got so ugly he said he never wanted to read the book or go to therapy in the 1st place, doesn't have time for this on his day off, all his free time is going to me & this relationship. He even said since I'm feeling so depressed, the arguments have gotten worse.

Of course, after that, he left. Again, without saying a word.

We have not spoken about anything other than finances since.

Even that conversation about finances ended in an argument.

Please help. I love him, but right now I feel so much doubt and insecurities.

Me (25-NB) and my bf (26-M) been together +/-2yrs.

I'm diagnosed with ADHD, unmedicated & on a waiting list for therapy for depressive thoughts & an autism diagnose. He is not diagnosed, never had therapy, but suspects he has ADHD, maybe also autism.

We've had arguments, mostly abt communication & planning. In regards to planning: I have a strict color coded planning, multiple alarms (to help with my ADHD) etc. He doesn't have any of that, often oversleeps or forgets tasks & appointments.

Also he stonewalls. Very often. In the middle of an argument he just leaves. He drives home & doesn't answer calls/texts for hrs or a day.

He gets triggered by raising voices. I'm trying to stop. I'm aware this is my own defense mechanism when I feel unheard. I often feel my voice is at a normal volume when he tells me I'm raising my voice. He often even says he can't believe I'm not aware of it. This hurts, bc I'm trying my best. I'm starting to doubt if there's something wrong with me. After every argument he says he shouldn't 've said that & realises how hard it is for me.

He knows stonewalling triggers me. He said numerous times he will try to stop too or at least distance himself calmly and lovingly.

Over the past yrs, I've been trying to change my behaviour with books, websites, articles, conversations with friends & family etc.

I offered buying a book written by a therapist to read together. He said it was a good idea. We both bought a book he picked & agreed to each read 1 chapter every mnth.

This is now 1/2yr ago. After page 37 I stopped bc I waited for him to finish.

He said he would read it. He didn't. I asked him, he would look into it the next week. He didn't. Every time, excuses: work, time, forgetfulness etc.

2 wks ago we talked abt it. He explained he would love to read the book sitting next to each other, cosy. A misunderstanding. We found a middle way & agreed: He would read 37 pages on his own & after that we'd continue reading together.

In the meantime, over the past 1/2yr, we talked abt him going to therapy bc through his new job he could get it online for free. Over time his opinion changed often. He said he wanted it, the next wk he said he didn't feel it necessary and felt pressured (I just reminded him of his own plans). At some point (unrelated to his own plans) I said if he couldn't stop stonewalling on his own, he should try therapy. He agreed, but ever since he made that promise, he always finds an excuse. "I would've left 5 min later anyways" or "I felt justified bc you raised your voice". After every argument he suddenly agrees, apologises & says he will try his best to not do it again.

A few mnths ago he helped my best friend (E) move. E told me he brought it up. E said: "He told me he'd try therapy, but he also said something about how he's only doing this to make you stop asking." The next day I calmly explained what E told me. He felt deeply sorry & said it was probs a joke E misunderstood. (E is diagnosed w/ autism). I asked him (bc his opinion changes so much) if he even sees a benefit in therapy. He said help with time management and stress was what he wanted. I asked him when I can expect him to start, because it's part of an agreement we made. He ensured me in about 6 wks.

This is 2mnths> ago.

We also spoke abt trying relationship therapy, he looked into it via work, but could only find some courses.

Anyway, it was going good for a couple wks. I even told him how proud I was of how we handled conflict lately.

Until last wk. Again, he stonewalled. I didn't text or call him at all this time. I felt abandoned, sad & angry, but bc this happens so often, not a single tear appeared. I just went to sleep. I was just tired of this.

We tried to talk it out on his day off a couple days ago. We got into a huge fight abt stonewalling, but also abt all the things I asked him to do & he never did. I was angry with him bc these & many other things I asked him in a loving manner again & again & he alwasy says he'll look into it & he. never. does.

We talked abt relationship therapy again & I said I felt it necessary, maybe we should put money aside for it. He agreed but he wanted do this via work, bc he's in debt & didn't think "it was worth the money". I was confused, bc last time he said it was just courses. He denied: "It was online therapy and YOU didn't want that." I am 100% sure that isn't what happened, but decided to join him in his attempt to get out of it. I asked him when he was planning on looking into this. He said monday. I said: "Do you understand I don't have the trust you will actually follow up, considering how you dealt with other promises?"

He told me that it was because I always remind him at the wrong times. Oh hell nah. I said I was not his secretary or calendar or f-ing mom. This time I was not going to let him get away with an empty promise, a lousy excuse & shifting blame, so I asked: "Why don't you set an alarm?" Instead of answering, he got his phone out of his pocket and yelled: "You know what, fine!" to which I replied: "I asked you why you made a certain decision & you don't answer the question, you act like I'm forcing you to do something. I am not responsible for you to keep promises YOU made so: why don't you set an alarm?" Him: "You know it doesn't work that way & yes, it sounds like you're forcing me!"

At one point I also said he could've easily read the book, since he's with his friends 3-4 times/wk. He replied he barely has enough time to relax & if he would've read those 37 pages he would have been "neglecting himself"

Eventually it got so ugly he said he never wanted to read the book or go to therapy in the 1st place, doesn't have time for this on his day off, all his free time is going to me & this relationship. He even said since I'm feeling so depressed, the arguments have gotten worse.

Of course, after that, he left. Again, without saying a word.

We have not spoken about anything other than finances since.

Even that conversation about finances ended in an argument.

Please help. I love him, but right now I feel so much doubt and insecurities.