u/robin_f_reba

Closer to rock than metal but r/progrockmusic would NOT like this (it doesn't sound 70s)

Abstracts are basically the only board games i own because they're my favourite board game genre. Hive, chess, othello, Go, Onitama/Tak, GIPF, Aballone, Connect 4, other ones I'm missing.

But i can't always play alone, so i was wondering if there's any video games with a similar niche of being easy to learn, abstract/light on story, and endlessly replayable strategy games. Tetris comes to mind, kinda. Not chesslike tactical grid video games like Fire Emblem or Xcom though

Is that the name of the ethnic group from The Nine? In chapter 17 of Sins of Empire, Vlora calls herself Cressian when I thought she was an Adran from the Nine. I assumed Cressia was a Fatrastan nation but it seems not

Major spoilers for In the Shadow of Lightning

• relationship between godglass and glassdancers
• relationship between the above and the Euglid immortals. where does godglass come from
• how does one become a glassdancer and/or various levels of godglass immunity
• technological advancements possible in society with godglass becoming limitedly renewable
• other types of godglass in myth/urban legend or possible to be discovered

So I've had weekly small-class lessons since ~October, and I think i've progressed a lot compared to before when I didn't even know how to read pinyin. Chinese history, Wuxia/xianxia like Cradle and Iron Widow, and c-dramas like Ode to Joy and Romance of the Three Kingdoms all kept me enthusiastic about learning. Especially since i live in a city where i hear mandarin chinese while out a lot (i love peoplewatching and going on walks). Language-learning can sometimes be really really fun and rewarding.

But the vocab has been piling up, i have ~200 anki reviews per day and 224 new cards left. Studying has become a chore, and i spend everyday dreading falling further behind or feeling guilty for not studying. The day of class approaches and terrifies me because I don't want to waste money by spending the class reviewing things I should have practiced as homework (and seeing my super-kind teacher have to hold back irritation at this fact). Seeing anything in my target language now reminds me of the studying I should be doing and how stressful studying has become.

This same thing happened when I was learning French and Japanese, and to a lesser extent, ASL. Is there a way to regain enthusiasm despite the increasingly small rewards and piling information to practice?

The only thing that comes to mind is that Razor-wielding Golds are like flying cavalry, Greys are regulars, and that space/airship warfare seems to follow similar rules to modern naval warfare but with extra boarding actions

TL;DR: I spend all my time trying to force myself to do tasks i need to with no success, when I used to be able to do so (albeit painfully) in high school. Every small step won't be enough, so "why even try" ends up being the mindset I can't shake off

I always had issues with depresion and anxiety-induced procrastination, and doing anything that required effort was always a daily battle. But when I was in high school, I at least was able to lock in close to a deadline and force myself to grind (albeit at the expense of my physical and mental health).

But almost instantly upon leaving high school, I just can't any more. I might be motivated for the first week of classes or a job, but then i fall behind once from being too anxious to start the mountain of work, and suddenly I'm a month+ behind. And instead of managing to grind from the life-or-death fear of a deadline, I just feel even more like the only option is to give up. Because if i can't do it right/do it well, there's no point. Or if i start with small goals, i'll never be enough to catch up with the mountain of work. Cyclical spiral.

Anyways, I don't think anything has materially changed? I guess no longer being a prodigy like in high school is a difference, maybe. Maybe I have rose tinted glasses about how easy i had it? I currently have a big deadline coming up this week and still haven't started the month-worth of work despite spending almost all of my waking hours between jobs/on days off set for trying to start.

All I need is to just lock in and become productive and that will solve so many of my inadequacies/cycle of being a NEET with a job.

Spotify Link

My favourite song on the album after the Heliacal Vessels