u/slowfigs09

during my first year of university, i was paired with a new girl to show her around and help her settle in. i immediately noticed we had a lot of differences and probably wouldn't naturally click as friends, so i treated it as a temporary, professional responsibility and planned to distance myself once she was settled.

however, she kept texting and asking to hang out. i was 18 had people pleasing tendencies and was afraid of confrontation, so instead of telling her i didn't want to be friends, i kept making excuses until eventually i gave in. that was basically how we became friends.

five years later, we're still friends and have both finished our degrees. she's moved to another country, so our friendship is mostly online now. she used to want daily calls but i eventually set a boundary that i don't always have the social energy for that. now we call roughly once a month but those calls can last 3+ hours and if they're shorter, she'll sometimes ask to call again the next day.

the problem is that i don't really enjoy these calls anymore. there are a lot of things about her views on life, people, politics, etc. that genuinely rub me the wrong way. i've tried explaining some of these things to her but she continues to say the same things. i don't think she's a bad person..she's just very ignorant and i find that increasingly difficult to tolerate, i already struggle a lot in social settings and feel like i'm constantly performing around people. our calls leave me feeling especially drained and awful afterward.

i also don't know how to directly end the friendship now. we've already drifted apart, so suddenly telling her i don't want to be friends anymore feels awkward and disproportionate. at the same time, i don't want to keep forcing myself into these long monthly calls. i think part of the problem is that this friendship started because of me. i was too young and afraid of confrontation to say no and now five years later i'm still struggling to figure out how to consciously leave it.

I recently watched leviticus and I absolutely loved the concept. I want a horror book as a metaphor of homophobia or a book as a metaphor of the horrors of girlhood and coming of age. either would work and a bonus if it's both!

i’m looking for character-driven literary fiction about morally complicated relationships and uncomfortable aspects of the human condition. something similar to the peter, sylvia and naomi situation in intermezzo.

the closest i’ve found so far is bellies by nicola dinan. to give you an idea about the kind of book I am looking for..this book follows two gay men who are deeply in love and in a committed relationship until one of them comes out as a trans woman and begins transitioning. which made their relationship change and it made me think about what exactly we’re loving when we love a person...their body, gender, identity or the person we knew before? and what happens when those things stop lining up?

basically, i want psychologically complex, emotionally intense books that explore love, desire, identity, morality and the uncomfortable parts of being human. books that make me think, “i understand why they did this, but was it actually right?” and leave me uncomfortable.

what books would you recommend?

thank you in advance <3

im sorry if this is dumb but my sexuality is something i'm still questioning, and it's hard because i find real sexual interactions repulsive, so i haven't had any real sexual experience. i'm 23. i find women and men equally beautiful but i don't want anything sexual with real humans. but but but when it comes to celebrities or fictional characters, i do have sexual fantasies about them. does that make me on the ace spectrum?

hii! i’m north african and looking to meet some new people, especially other ace people since i barely dont know any. i’d like for us to start off as friends, get to know each other naturally and seeing if it develops into something more one day:)) i’m looking to meet people who are 20+ and i don’t mind older but not younger than that. I'm open to LDR. also, it's worth mentioning that romantically I'm more interested in women. although i’m happy to make friends with anyone.

i’m pretty easy going. I might be shy at first but if you are shy at first i can carry the conversations so no worries!🥰 i really value people who are laid-back genuine, kind and sweet. i enjoy reading and music, and i’m the type to get way too invested in fictional characters lol. few of the music artists I like are phoebe bridgers, julien baker, noah kahan and big theif.

big dealbreakers for me are racism, homophobia or any kind of bigotry. i’m looking for someone who’s accepting, open-minded and generally kind to others.

i’m 5'5" and a bit on the heavier side. i’m currently trying to get stronger like putting on more muscle, if that isn’t your thing, no worries. i’d rather be upfront about it.

mostly just hoping to meet some genuine people or make some ace friends.

this post is very random, it’s just an appreciation post..i wanted to say that what truly touches me about emhen’s books isn’t just that she writes two fully fleshed-out characters, each with their own wounds and struggles but that she absolutely nails my favorite sub-trope: when two broken people find solace in each other. when they become home for each other.

i think most, if not all, of her rom-coms are ultimately about characters who carry that quiet sadness the weight of the world on their shoulders despite how they might seem on the outside and who are looking for a sense of home, only to somehow find it in each other. and i love it every single time. it speaks to me.

so, for that reason i’m going to reread all of her rom-coms (excluding GBBL, i’m sorry 😭😭).

i hate complaining and i hate to complain, which i guess is why i don't have many friends. i get socially exhausted very quickly because of that. it's almost unavoidable for me because i value depth in friendships and i'm a people pleaser, so it's like i invite it upon myself. i know it's my own fault.

there's another unhealthy thing i do: i don't complain yet i resent people for not understanding me. and even when i do complain, it feels wrong. i feel incredibly shameful and embarrassed and i don't even end up feeling comforted. it's like i'm inconsolable. i just even feel more lonely than me not complaining.

i wonder if many people here deal with that. if so has anyone ever managed to change it?

this might be very specific, but i'm looking for a book where someone takes a text or artifact and turns it into a religion or cult in a post-apocalyptic setting or something similar.

books like station 11

>!not sure if this is spoiler or not, im sorry if it is :(( but kind of like in station 11. the prophet and the comic book storyline.!<

i don't really know how to explain this, but i'm hoping someone here has experienced something similar.

i'm a very lonely person, and i only have one close friend. i genuinely want to talk to them all the time. i miss them when we don't talk (at least in the way i know how to miss someone since my emotions aren't always very palpable to me) and i like them a lot.

the problem is that whenever we actually do talk or meet, i start feeling awful. it's not that they're mean or anything like that. they're actually very attached to me and see me as their comfort person. we've known each other for almost our entire lives.

but for some reason, talking to them makes me feel physically and emotionally sick. sometimes, after i've been with them, i just want to disappear. i want to disappear from my own life and from theirs.

for context, i almost always want to leave whenever i'm hanging out with other people too, so i sometimes wonder if i'm just someone who's incapable of friendship. but it bothers me so much when it happens with this friend because i feel like i shouldn't feel this way about them.

i don't understand why i react like this when i'm clearly very lonely and they're the only person i can remotely be myself around. otherwise, i'm pretty much closed off and not genuine with my family and besides this person, i barely exist in the outside world.

does anyone else experience this? i feel like there has to be a reason for it but i genuinely can't figure out what it is. sometimes i wonder if i'm just avoidant or if i struggle with any kind of emotional stuff cuz it overwhelms me but i honestly don't know.

hello. since i usually write in third-person pov, i struggle with balancing narrative and dialogue. i tend to write a lot about what's happening in the character's mind, their surroundings etc..but once the dialogue starts, i kind of stop describing anything and just let the characters speak.

i guess the reason i do that is because i'm scared of spoon-feeding information to the reader. but when i reread my work, i cringe at the contrast between the descriptive narration and the dialogue.heavy sections.

how do you balance this? does anyone else struggle with the same thing?

i just finished yellowjackets and i need more. i'm looking for fanfics that feel close to canon and capture the same atmosphere as the show. i finished the series wanting more exploration of certain themes and characters, so i'd love recommendations for well-written fics that expand on them. they don't have to be strictly canon-compliant, but i'd prefer stories that stay true in relation to the characterization and overall vibe of the show.

things i'd especially love to read:

• lottie the prophet

• cult-like vibes

• religious symbolism

• antler queen

• atmospheric, haunting, psychological and emotionally complex.

andd ships i'm interested in:

• lottie/shauna

• shauna/jackie

• lottie/natalie

• shauna/natalie

• lottie/laura lee

thats it thank you in advance! <3

i don't know why i am this way. i want to be the kind of person who is open to loving and being loved, but instead i seem to do the opposite. i keep people at a distance and build walls around myself. i crave closeness and understanding, yet when someone asks how i am doing, i almost always tell them that i'm fine, even when i'm not. then later, i feel unseen and misunderstood and sometimes i even resent them for not noticing what i never allowed myself to say. and even when they do notice i get more resentful that they can read me that easily.

even when i try to be honest and open up to people, i often end up retreating. after sharing something vulnerable, i start to feel really silly and embarrassed and ashamed of who i am. so i pull away and stop talking to them altogether for a while and when I am in touch again I put on this persona where I try not to be who I am with them which also makes me resentful.

so it's like i resent people for getting close to me but i also resent them when i push them away. i resent myself for being so guarded and closed off. sometimes i even find myself feeling jealous of or resentful toward people who seem comfortable receiving love, care and support from others.

it's annoying to be this way and i can't imagine the amount of frustration and pain i have caused the people close to me. i don't want to be this kind of person. i don't want to be resentful.

if anyone has experienced something similar or has any advice on how to work through this i would really appreciate it.

thank you in advance.

i finished my physiotherapy degree abroad and have recently returned home. however, i can't start working until i receive my certificate and due to some circumstances, i won't be able to collect it until january next year.

i'm worried about forgetting what i've learned during this time and i'm not sure what i should be doing to improve my skills while i wait. unfortunately, where i live, it's not possible to do an internship unless you're currently enrolled in a local university

have any of you been in a similar situation? are there any courses, certifications or activities that helped you stay up to date and continue developing professionally? what would you recommend doing with this free time?

a friend suggested that i take a six-month nutrition course, which seems like a good fit for my situation. because i already have a healthcare background, completing the course would allow me to become certified and work in nutrition alongside physiotherapy. i also like the fact that nutrition offers opportunities to work from home.

do you think this is a good idea or would you recommend focusing on something else instead?

hello. i’m not sure if this is the right place to post this and i apologize if this seems random but i would appreciate some advice.

i have a degree in physiotherapy and due to anxiety around working in a face to face job, i’m currently looking for ways to work from home. while exploring different options, i realized i could take nutrition course as someone with physiotherapy degree and become a nutritionist which seems like a field where remote work opportunities may be available.

my concern is that i am currently in recovery from BED. although i have improved significantly, i still struggle with poor body image, insecurities and body dysmorphia. because of that, i’m worried that studying nutrition might cause me to hyperfixate on my eating habits or trigger a relapse into obsessive thoughts about "eating healthy," dieting or restriction.

or am i overthinking this? to be honest, i’m fairly ignorant about what nutritionists actually do, which probably adds to my anxiety. part of me worries that immersing myself in nutrition could pull me deeper into a rabbit hole of food rules and dietary restriction. at the same time, it currently seems like one of the most suitable career options for me.

i would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experience in nutrition or anything similar.

thank you in advance.

i'm about 20% in and i'm not really feeling it. i've read two taylor jenkins reid books before (the seven husbands of evelyn hugo and daisy jones & the six) and neither of them worked for me.

i've always struggled a bit with her writing because it often feels like i'm being to to feel rather than naturally arriving at those emotions myself if that makes sense.

for those who generally don't enjoy taylor jenkins reid's writing, did atmosphere end up being different for you? if you weren't a fan of her previous books but liked this one, i'd love to hear why. i'm trying to decide whether it's worth continuing or if it's likely just not for me.

I would like a literary fiction book surrounding an emotionally repressed and stoic female character who's very complex. I would prefer literary romance fiction but I am okay if it doesn't have romance aspect to it.

my dad has this thing where, when he gets us a gift, before giving it to us he starts insulting us and calling us names, then surprise, he gives us something. he says things like“you look gross and unshowered” “you’ve gotten fat” and “you just don’t love me and never care for me.” i wonder why that is? it’s not like these aren’t things he already says normally but i just wonder why he does this before gifting us something.

another thing is my mom told me he was kind of extreme about this when i was younger( like a child)where he would scream and call me names until i cried then he would hug and kiss me afterwards. he wasn’t actually angry; he just did it because he liked watching me cry, tbh. i don’t remember that at all but i know he used to fight with me a lot when i was a teenager just the normal fights, not the play fights he does.

can I get better on my own? codependency also affects my friendships and i would like be healthy. is there a way to do this without therapy? did anyone manage to do so? is there any books I should read?

hello! is anyone interested to read gideon the ninth with me? i don't usually read fantasy but i am excited for this one because i feel I might like it. so I would to buddy read it to motivate myself and also to discuss it since I can get pretty lost reading fantasy books.

another disclaimer is: I am kind of a slow reader🥲