u/snl2020

I’m a 29-year-old gay Black man from a small town, and I’m honestly just looking for some advice on how to move forward because I don’t know what else to do.

I grew up in poverty and in a very traumatic environment. I was born as the result of rape, and my childhood was filled with abuse, instability, and people struggling with substance abuse. I survived a suicide attempt, homelessness, and a lot of things I never thought I would make it through.

The person who became the closest thing I had to a mother and my biggest source of support eventually passed away. I took care of her while she was dying. I still remember sitting through our last chemotherapy appointment when the doctor told us that the cancer was too aggressive and that she was going to die.

After losing her, I felt like I was completely on my own.
I do struggle with my mental health. I take medication and go to therapy, and I genuinely try to work on myself. But despite all of that, my life still feels incredibly empty.

I don’t have parents I can call. I don’t have a family support system. I don’t really have friends. There have been periods where I would go weeks or even months without having a meaningful conversation with anyone.
Then I met someone.

For about a year, we talked every day. We shared our lives with each other. I finally had someone to talk to, someone who knew what was going on in my life, someone whose presence made my world feel less cold and lonely.
And then it ended.

I was discarded, and the way it happened completely shook me. It has been almost eight months, and I still cry every day. Some days I can barely get myself out of bed.
I know people might say, “It’s been eight months, you need to move on.” Believe me, I wish I could. But I don’t think I’m only grieving the relationship. I think I’m grieving the feeling of finally having someone in my life.

Before him, I was already incredibly lonely. Now I feel like I’ve gone from having someone who was part of my everyday life back to complete silence. My phone doesn’t light up with texts. Nobody calls to check on me. I deleted all my social media, but there’s no one to notice that I’m gone. My life just became quiet again.

And that kind of loneliness is becoming unbearable.
I’ve tried reaching out to the few people I thought I could ask for help, but I’ve been stood up or left feeling like I’m bothering people. So I’m turning to strangers on the internet because I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
\*\*I am not a perfect person, but I am not a bad person.\*\* I’ve been through terrible circumstances, but I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone. I try to love people, I try to show up for them, and I try to be a good person despite everything I’ve been through.

I just don’t know how to build a life from here.

How do you learn to live with being completely alone?

And most importantly, how do you find something to live \*for\* when you’ve spent so much of your life just surviving?
I’m not looking for people to tell me to “just get over him.” I’m looking for genuine advice from people who have been through profound loneliness, abandonment, trauma, or losing the person who meant the most to them. falling apart and I’m trying to find something to hang onto. I just don’t know how to move forward with my life or to give myself any direction. Sometimes it feels like everybody else is moving on while I’m left picking up the pieces of myself.

I fell in love with someone, and now he’s gone. I never even got the chance to properly say goodbye. I’ve lost so many people and so many things throughout my life, and honestly, I don’t know if I can handle much more grief.
If you’ve been in a similar place and somehow made it out, what did you do?

I’m just trying to figure out what’s the best way to reconnect with an Ex. Do I send a text message or do I call? They blocked me on Instagram and unfriended me on Snapchat my number. I don’t know if it’s blocked or not but I just want an opportunity to talk. Things ended between us before we were even really official and everything was going in a really good direction and then one day they ended it and I still don’t understand why.

I’m a 29-year-old gay Black man from a small town, and I’m honestly just looking for some advice on how to move forward because I don’t know what else to do.

I grew up in poverty and in a very traumatic environment. I was born as the result of rape, and my childhood was filled with abuse, instability, and people struggling with substance abuse. I survived a suicide attempt, homelessness, and a lot of things I never thought I would make it through.

The person who became the closest thing I had to a mother and my biggest source of support eventually passed away. I took care of her while she was dying. I still remember sitting through our last chemotherapy appointment when the doctor told us that the cancer was too aggressive and that she was going to die.

After losing her, I felt like I was completely on my own.
I do struggle with my mental health. I take medication and go to therapy, and I genuinely try to work on myself. But despite all of that, my life still feels incredibly empty.

I don’t have parents I can call. I don’t have a family support system. I don’t really have friends. There have been periods where I would go weeks or even months without having a meaningful conversation with anyone.
Then I met someone.

For about a year, we talked every day. We shared our lives with each other. I finally had someone to talk to, someone who knew what was going on in my life, someone whose presence made my world feel less cold and lonely.
And then it ended.

I was discarded, and the way it happened completely shook me. It has been almost eight months, and I still cry every day. Some days I can barely get myself out of bed.
I know people might say, “It’s been eight months, you need to move on.” Believe me, I wish I could. But I don’t think I’m only grieving the relationship. I think I’m grieving the feeling of finally having someone in my life.

Before him, I was already incredibly lonely. Now I feel like I’ve gone from having someone who was part of my everyday life back to complete silence. My phone doesn’t light up with texts. Nobody calls to check on me. I deleted all my social media, but there’s no one to notice that I’m gone. My life just became quiet again.

And that kind of loneliness is becoming unbearable.
I’ve tried reaching out to the few people I thought I could ask for help, but I’ve been stood up or left feeling like I’m bothering people. So I’m turning to strangers on the internet because I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
**I am not a perfect person, but I am not a bad person.** I’ve been through terrible circumstances, but I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone. I try to love people, I try to show up for them, and I try to be a good person despite everything I’ve been through.

I just don’t know how to build a life from here.

How do you learn to live with being completely alone?

And most importantly, how do you find something to live *for* when you’ve spent so much of your life just surviving?
I’m not looking for people to tell me to “just get over him.” I’m looking for genuine advice from people who have been through profound loneliness, abandonment, trauma, or losing the person who meant the most to them.

I fell in love with someone, and now he’s gone. I never even got the chance to properly say goodbye. I’ve lost so many people and so many things throughout my life, and honestly, I don’t know if I can handle much more grief.
If you’ve been in a similar place and somehow made it out, what did you do?

I’m a 29-year-old gay Black man from a small town, and I’m honestly just looking for some advice on how to move forward because I don’t know what else to do.

I grew up in poverty and in a very traumatic environment. I was born as the result of rape, and my childhood was filled with abuse, instability, and people struggling with substance abuse. I survived a suicide attempt, homelessness, and a lot of things I never thought I would make it through.

The person who became the closest thing I had to a mother and my biggest source of support eventually passed away. I took care of her while she was dying. I still remember sitting through our last chemotherapy appointment when the doctor told us that the cancer was too aggressive and that she was going to die.

After losing her, I felt like I was completely on my own.
I do struggle with my mental health. I take medication and go to therapy, and I genuinely try to work on myself. But despite all of that, my life still feels incredibly empty.

I don’t have parents I can call. I don’t have a family support system. I don’t really have friends. There have been periods where I would go weeks or even months without having a meaningful conversation with anyone.
Then I met someone.

For about a year, we talked every day. We shared our lives with each other. I finally had someone to talk to, someone who knew what was going on in my life, someone whose presence made my world feel less cold and lonely.
And then it ended.

I was discarded, and the way it happened completely shook me. It has been almost eight months, and I still cry every day. Some days I can barely get myself out of bed.
I know people might say, “It’s been eight months, you need to move on.” Believe me, I wish I could. But I don’t think I’m only grieving the relationship. I think I’m grieving the feeling of finally having someone in my life.

Before him, I was already incredibly lonely. Now I feel like I’ve gone from having someone who was part of my everyday life back to complete silence. My phone doesn’t light up with texts. Nobody calls to check on me. I deleted all my social media, but there’s no one to notice that I’m gone. My life just became quiet again.

And that kind of loneliness is becoming unbearable.
I’ve tried reaching out to the few people I thought I could ask for help, but I’ve been stood up or left feeling like I’m bothering people. So I’m turning to strangers on the internet because I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
**I am not a perfect person, but I am not a bad person.** I’ve been through terrible circumstances, but I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone. I try to love people, I try to show up for them, and I try to be a good person despite everything I’ve been through.

I just don’t know how to build a life from here.

How do you learn to live with being completely alone?

And most importantly, how do you find something to live *for* when you’ve spent so much of your life just surviving?
I’m not looking for people to tell me to “just get over him.” I’m looking for genuine advice from people who have been through profound loneliness, abandonment, trauma, or losing the person who meant the most to them.

I fell in love with someone, and now he’s gone. I never even got the chance to properly say goodbye. I’ve lost so many people and so many things throughout my life, and honestly, I don’t know if I can handle much more grief.
If you’ve been in a similar place and somehow made it out, what did you do?

I’ve been sitting on this for a long time, and I’m considering sending this to my ex.

Hi Alex,
It’s tom,

I know hearing from me might be unexpected, and I promise I’m not trying to pressure you into responding. After this, I’ll respect whatever you decide.
There are a few things I never got the chance to say. My feelings for you were real. Over time, I realized I was falling in love with you. I wasn’t always good at expressing that, but it was never because I didn’t care. I was scared and still trying to figure out how to open up.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I really wish we’d had the opportunity to talk and work things out. You didn’t know this, Alex, but I was planning to make things official the night you came down. I had a reservation and dinner planned, along with a few things at the restaurant that I was going to surprise you with.

Then, after Christmas, when you agreed to come back down, I bought everything from your registry and put it together with flowers and some other things. I even kept the note you gave me asking me to be your boyfriend. I wrote “yes” on it, and I wrote “I love you.”
I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad or to change your mind. I’m telling you because you weren’t just some random guy to me. You were important to me, I genuinely valued you, and I wanted something real with you. And because you mean the world to me, I can put my pride aside and admit when I was wrong.

There’s also something I wish I had been able to explain to you at the time. I know you expressed some worries after we were intimate—that I might leave after seeing your body, and then the next day that maybe all I wanted was sex. Alex, that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
The truth is, I couldn’t keep my hands off you because by then it wasn’t just physical attraction anymore. I felt a deep connection with you, and I wanted to be close to you in every way. All I wanted was you, and you were on my mind constantly. What I felt for you was so much deeper than sex.

One of the reasons I reacted the way I did is because I’ve lost a lot of people in my life—my mom, my dad, family, friends, and the only other mother figure I had. The thought of losing someone I loved again really scared me. I saw so much value in you, and I didn’t want to lose you.
There’s one other thing I want you to know, Alex. Before you came down, I was dealing with some serious things mentally that you didn’t know about, and I wasn’t truly myself at the time. It affected the way I was thinking and reacting more than I realized. I’m not saying that as an excuse, because I still take responsibility for how I handled things. There’s more I’d like to explain, but I’d rather talk about that privately over the phone if you’re ever open to it.

I owe you an apology for the way I handled things. I don’t know if I triggered something in you or brought up things from your past, but if I hurt you, I’m genuinely sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

And lastly, regarding your mental health, I know you told me you were depressed, and I wish you had felt comfortable enough to tell me sooner. I don’t know exactly what I could have done, but I wanted you to know that you could have leaned on me. I would have sat with you, taken you to an appointment, helped you with your medications, or simply been there when things were hard. I know how much you value your independence, and I never wanted to take that away from you. I just wanted you to know that you didn’t have to carry everything alone. You could have shared the load with me, even on the bad days. I would have stood beside you because you were worth it.

The truth is, I was trying to tell you that I loved you. I just didn’t have the language for it, and my words weren’t coming out the way I intended. I got scared, and I handled that fear badly.

I really would like to talk if you’re open to it. If you still have my number, please feel free to text me. If you don’t want to, I’ll respect that.

My biggest regret is that I never got the chance to tell you that I love you. I couldn’t let all this time pass without letting you know how I truly felt about you.

And I’m sorry, Alex. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know everything you’ve been through or everything you’ve carried, but for what it’s worth, I want to know. I want to understand you, support you, and be someone who makes you feel safe enough to be yourself. I want to kiss your scars and remind you that you don’t have to hide them from me.

At the end of the day, all I wanted was to love on you.
Take care.
And I love you and miss you, Alex.
Best,
tom.

**Brief context:** We dated and I became very serious about him. Things changed after he sent me a TikTok about partners being independent. Because of my history of loneliness and losing people I loved, I took it as him saying I was too dependent or smothering him. It really hurt me, and we became distant for about a week.
I eventually sent him a long message explaining why it affected me.

I was also struggling mentally and wasn’t myself at the time. Shortly afterward, he ended the relationship, saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that I had triggered things related to his PTSD.

What made it harder was finding out later that he had apparently been considering ending things for weeks. He blocked me afterward, and I never really got the chance to have an honest conversation or explain what was happening on my end.

It’s been months, and I still feel like there are things I needed to say. I’m not necessarily trying to get him back—I mostly want him to know that my feelings were genuine, that I’m sorry for the ways I hurt him, and that there was more going on beneath my reaction than he probably realized.
Should I send this message, or would it be a mistake?

I’ve been sitting on this for a long time, and I’m considering sending this to my ex.

Hi Alex,
It’s tom,

I know hearing from me might be unexpected, and I promise I’m not trying to pressure you into responding. After this, I’ll respect whatever you decide.
There are a few things I never got the chance to say. My feelings for you were real. Over time, I realized I was falling in love with you. I wasn’t always good at expressing that, but it was never because I didn’t care. I was scared and still trying to figure out how to open up.

I’ve had a lot of time to think, and I really wish we’d had the opportunity to talk and work things out. You didn’t know this, Alex, but I was planning to make things official the night you came down. I had a reservation and dinner planned, along with a few things at the restaurant that I was going to surprise you with.

Then, after Christmas, when you agreed to come back down, I bought everything from your registry and put it together with flowers and some other things. I even kept the note you gave me asking me to be your boyfriend. I wrote “yes” on it, and I wrote “I love you.”
I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad or to change your mind. I’m telling you because you weren’t just some random guy to me. You were important to me, I genuinely valued you, and I wanted something real with you. And because you mean the world to me, I can put my pride aside and admit when I was wrong.

There’s also something I wish I had been able to explain to you at the time. I know you expressed some worries after we were intimate—that I might leave after seeing your body, and then the next day that maybe all I wanted was sex. Alex, that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
The truth is, I couldn’t keep my hands off you because by then it wasn’t just physical attraction anymore. I felt a deep connection with you, and I wanted to be close to you in every way. All I wanted was you, and you were on my mind constantly. What I felt for you was so much deeper than sex.

One of the reasons I reacted the way I did is because I’ve lost a lot of people in my life—my mom, my dad, family, friends, and the only other mother figure I had. The thought of losing someone I loved again really scared me. I saw so much value in you, and I didn’t want to lose you.
There’s one other thing I want you to know, Alex. Before you came down, I was dealing with some serious things mentally that you didn’t know about, and I wasn’t truly myself at the time. It affected the way I was thinking and reacting more than I realized. I’m not saying that as an excuse, because I still take responsibility for how I handled things. There’s more I’d like to explain, but I’d rather talk about that privately over the phone if you’re ever open to it.

I owe you an apology for the way I handled things. I don’t know if I triggered something in you or brought up things from your past, but if I hurt you, I’m genuinely sorry. I never meant to hurt you.

And lastly, regarding your mental health, I know you told me you were depressed, and I wish you had felt comfortable enough to tell me sooner. I don’t know exactly what I could have done, but I wanted you to know that you could have leaned on me. I would have sat with you, taken you to an appointment, helped you with your medications, or simply been there when things were hard. I know how much you value your independence, and I never wanted to take that away from you. I just wanted you to know that you didn’t have to carry everything alone. You could have shared the load with me, even on the bad days. I would have stood beside you because you were worth it.

The truth is, I was trying to tell you that I loved you. I just didn’t have the language for it, and my words weren’t coming out the way I intended. I got scared, and I handled that fear badly.

I really would like to talk if you’re open to it. If you still have my number, please feel free to text me. If you don’t want to, I’ll respect that.

My biggest regret is that I never got the chance to tell you that I love you. I couldn’t let all this time pass without letting you know how I truly felt about you.

And I’m sorry, Alex. I never meant to hurt you. I don’t know everything you’ve been through or everything you’ve carried, but for what it’s worth, I want to know. I want to understand you, support you, and be someone who makes you feel safe enough to be yourself. I want to kiss your scars and remind you that you don’t have to hide them from me.

At the end of the day, all I wanted was to love on you.
Take care.
And I love you and miss you, Alex.
Best,
tom.

Brief context: We dated and I became very serious about him. Things changed after he sent me a TikTok about partners being independent. Because of my history of loneliness and losing people I loved, I took it as him saying I was too dependent or smothering him. It really hurt me, and we became distant for about a week.
I eventually sent him a long message explaining why it affected me.

I was also struggling mentally and wasn’t myself at the time. Shortly afterward, he ended the relationship, saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that I had triggered things related to his PTSD.

What made it harder was finding out later that he had apparently been considering ending things for weeks. He blocked me afterward, and I never really got the chance to have an honest conversation or explain what was happening on my end.

It’s been months, and I still feel like there are things I needed to say. I’m not necessarily trying to get him back—I mostly want him to know that my feelings were genuine, that I’m sorry for the ways I hurt him, and that there was more going on beneath my reaction than he probably realized.
Should I send this message, or would it be a mistake?

I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know how to move forward from this. It has been almost eight months since my ex and I broke up, and I still cry over him. I still love this person. I never even got the chance to properly tell him that.

I’ve told pieces of this story before, but I want to explain what the actual breakup was like because I think that’s the part I’m having the hardest time processing.

Things between us had started getting weird after he sent me a TikTok about relationship styles and independence. The message was essentially about partners being independent and having their own lives. I know that probably sounds completely harmless to most people, but it hit something very deep in me.

I’ve been alone for the majority of my life. I’m an orphan, and I’ve experienced poverty, homelessness, abuse, depression, and a suicide attempt. I’m also the product of rape. Because of everything I’ve experienced, abandonment is something I struggle with deeply.

So when he sent me that TikTok, I didn’t interpret it as simply, “It’s healthy for couples to maintain independence.” I interpreted it as, “You’re too much. You’re smothering me. I need space from you.”

That hurt me tremendously.

Things became distant for about a week. We weren’t really talking the way we normally did. Eventually, I sent him a long message trying to explain why the TikTok had hurt me and what it had brought up for me. I wasn’t trying to control him or tell him he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain that I was struggling and where those feelings were coming from.

Then came the day everything ended.

The entire experience was incredibly blindsiding.

That same day, I shared something extremely vulnerable with him. I opened up to him about something deeply personal because I trusted him and felt like I could be vulnerable with him.

And then, within that same day, everything was over.

What makes this so difficult for me is that he apparently had already written the breakup message weeks beforehand. He had been holding onto this message for weeks, and he sent it to me on the exact same day that I had opened up to him about something extremely vulnerable.

Everything ended within minutes.

One moment I was emotionally vulnerable with someone I trusted, and the next I was reading a breakup message that had apparently already been written weeks earlier.

Then he stopped sharing his location with me and blocked me on basically every platform.

I called him, and he answered the phone once. We talked, but honestly, I can barely remember what was said. That’s one of the strangest parts of this entire experience. I remember the feeling of that day more than I remember the actual events. I genuinely can’t remember the majority of what happened after that phone conversation.

We texted a little afterward. Eventually, I called him again.

And again.

And again.

He stopped answering.

At one point, he told me that if I had things I wanted to say, I should send Voice Memos and that he would respond through text.

I was desperate for some kind of understanding. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to understand how we went from being together to this complete cutoff in what felt like minutes.

He also told me that he had been depressed for weeks and that somehow I had triggered his PTSD. I tried to explain to him that I was struggling too. I wasn’t trying to intentionally hurt him or make things worse for him. I was trying to communicate what was happening inside of me because I cared about him.

And then it was just over.

What made the entire thing even more confusing was that about two months later, I found out that he was already in a relationship with someone else.

I don’t know what the timeline was. I don’t know when they met or what happened. I’m not trying to accuse him of anything.

But from my perspective, it was incredibly difficult to process.

I had spent those two months trying to understand what happened between us, replaying everything in my head, wondering if I had somehow destroyed the relationship, wondering if I had been too much, wondering what I could have done differently.

Meanwhile, I eventually found out that he was with someone else.

I think that’s part of why I still feel so stuck.

I feel like I’m still in that room on that day.

It’s been almost eight months, and sometimes it feels like my brain never fully left that moment. I still cry. I still think about him. I still wonder how someone can care about you one day and then block you everywhere the next.

And I know people are probably going to say, “It was just a TikTok.”

But it wasn’t really the TikTok.

The TikTok triggered something in me. It made me afraid that I was losing him, and I tried to communicate that. I tried to explain why it hurt. I tried to explain that I was struggling.

And somehow, shortly afterward, I lost him anyway.

I also struggle with the fact that I never got to tell him that I loved him.

I really, truly loved this person.

Maybe I was never going to get the response I wanted. Maybe the relationship wasn’t meant to last. Maybe there were things going on in his head that I didn’t understand. Maybe he genuinely was struggling with his own mental health and trauma.

I just don’t understand how someone can go from caring about you to ending everything so abruptly.

I don’t understand how I can go from being someone important in his life to being blocked on every platform.

And I don’t understand how I’m supposed to make sense of a breakup that happened so quickly when I’ve spent almost eight months trying to understand it.

I’m not posting this because I expect anyone to tell me that he’s going to come back. I’m not looking for people to tell me that I should contact him. I know I can’t force someone to talk to me.

I just genuinely don’t know how to move forward.

I feel like a part of me is still stuck on that day, trying to understand what happened and why.

If anyone has experienced something similar, or has any advice for how I can finally start moving forward from this, I would really appreciate hearing it.

I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know how to move forward from this. It has been almost eight months since my ex and I broke up, and I still cry over him. I still love this person. I never even got the chance to properly tell him that.

I’ve told pieces of this story before, but I want to explain what the actual breakup was like because I think that’s the part I’m having the hardest time processing.

Things between us had started getting weird after he sent me a TikTok about relationship styles and independence. The message was essentially about partners being independent and having their own lives. I know that probably sounds completely harmless to most people, but it hit something very deep in me.

I’ve been alone for the majority of my life. I’m an orphan, and I’ve experienced poverty, homelessness, abuse, depression, and a suicide attempt. I’m also the product of rape. Because of everything I’ve experienced, abandonment is something I struggle with deeply.

So when he sent me that TikTok, I didn’t interpret it as simply, “It’s healthy for couples to maintain independence.” I interpreted it as, “You’re too much. You’re smothering me. I need space from you.”

That hurt me tremendously.

Things became distant for about a week. We weren’t really talking the way we normally did. Eventually, I sent him a long message trying to explain why the TikTok had hurt me and what it had brought up for me. I wasn’t trying to control him or tell him he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain that I was struggling and where those feelings were coming from.

Then came the day everything ended.

The entire experience was incredibly blindsiding.

That same day, I shared something extremely vulnerable with him. I opened up to him about something deeply personal because I trusted him and felt like I could be vulnerable with him.

And then, within that same day, everything was over.

What makes this so difficult for me is that he apparently had already written the breakup message weeks beforehand. He had been holding onto this message for weeks, and he sent it to me on the exact same day that I had opened up to him about something extremely vulnerable.

Everything ended within minutes.

One moment I was emotionally vulnerable with someone I trusted, and the next I was reading a breakup message that had apparently already been written weeks earlier.

Then he stopped sharing his location with me and blocked me on basically every platform.

I called him, and he answered the phone once. We talked, but honestly, I can barely remember what was said. That’s one of the strangest parts of this entire experience. I remember the feeling of that day more than I remember the actual events. I genuinely can’t remember the majority of what happened after that phone conversation.

We texted a little afterward. Eventually, I called him again.

And again.

And again.

He stopped answering.

At one point, he told me that if I had things I wanted to say, I should send Voice Memos and that he would respond through text.

I was desperate for some kind of understanding. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to understand how we went from being together to this complete cutoff in what felt like minutes.

He also told me that he had been depressed for weeks and that somehow I had triggered his PTSD. And he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I tried to explain to him that I was struggling too. I wasn’t trying to intentionally hurt him or make things worse for him. I was trying to communicate what was happening inside of me because I cared about him. He never mentioned anything about it beforehand. I was generally just trying to communicate and talk and be honest about both of our struggles.

And then it was just over.

What made the entire thing even more confusing was that about two months later, I found out that he was already in a relationship with someone else.

I don’t know what the timeline was. I don’t know when they met or what happened. I’m not trying to accuse him of anything.

But from my perspective, it was incredibly difficult to process.

I had spent those two months trying to understand what happened between us, replaying everything in my head, wondering if I had somehow destroyed the relationship, wondering if I had been too much, wondering what I could have done differently.

Meanwhile, I eventually found out that he was with someone else. and then a month later he ended that relationship and he’s back on Tinder.

I think that’s part of why I still feel so stuck.

I feel like I’m still in that room on that day.

It’s been almost eight months, and sometimes it feels like my brain never fully left that moment. I still cry. I still think about him. I still wonder how someone can care about you one day and then block you everywhere the next.

And I know people are probably going to say, “It was just a TikTok.”

But it wasn’t really the TikTok.

The TikTok triggered something in me. It made me afraid that I was losing him, and I tried to communicate that. I tried to explain why it hurt. I tried to explain that I was struggling.

And somehow, shortly afterward, I lost him anyway.

I also struggle with the fact that I never got to tell him that I loved him.

I really, truly loved this person.

Maybe I was never going to get the response I wanted. Maybe the relationship wasn’t meant to last. Maybe there were things going on in his head that I didn’t understand. Maybe he genuinely was struggling with his own mental health and trauma.

I just don’t understand how someone can go from caring about you to ending everything so abruptly.

I don’t understand how I can go from being someone important in his life to being blocked on every platform.

And I don’t understand how I’m supposed to make sense of a breakup that happened so quickly when I’ve spent almost eight months trying to understand it.

I’m not posting this because I expect anyone to tell me that he’s going to come back. I’m not looking for people to tell me that I should contact him. I know I can’t force someone to talk to me.

I just genuinely don’t know how to move forward.

I feel like a part of me is still stuck on that day, trying to understand what happened and why.

If anyone has experienced something similar, or has any advice for how I can finally start moving forward from this, I would really appreciate hearing it.

I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know how to move forward from this. It has been almost eight months since my ex and I broke up, and I still cry over him. I still love this person. I never even got the chance to properly tell him that.

I’ve told pieces of this story before, but I want to explain what the actual breakup was like because I think that’s the part I’m having the hardest time processing.

Things between us had started getting weird after he sent me a TikTok about relationship styles and independence. The message was essentially about partners being independent and having their own lives. I know that probably sounds completely harmless to most people, but it hit something very deep in me.

I’ve been alone for the majority of my life. I’m an orphan, and I’ve experienced poverty, homelessness, abuse, depression, and a suicide attempt. I’m also the product of rape. Because of everything I’ve experienced, abandonment is something I struggle with deeply.

So when he sent me that TikTok, I didn’t interpret it as simply, “It’s healthy for couples to maintain independence.” I interpreted it as, “You’re too much. You’re smothering me. I need space from you.”

That hurt me tremendously.

Things became distant for about a week. We weren’t really talking the way we normally did. Eventually, I sent him a long message trying to explain why the TikTok had hurt me and what it had brought up for me. I wasn’t trying to control him or tell him he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain that I was struggling and where those feelings were coming from.

Then came the day everything ended.

The entire experience was incredibly blindsiding.

That same day, I shared something extremely vulnerable with him. I opened up to him about something deeply personal because I trusted him and felt like I could be vulnerable with him.

And then, within that same day, everything was over.

What makes this so difficult for me is that he apparently had already written the breakup message weeks beforehand. He had been holding onto this message for weeks, and he sent it to me on the exact same day that I had opened up to him about something extremely vulnerable.

Everything ended within minutes.

One moment I was emotionally vulnerable with someone I trusted, and the next I was reading a breakup message that had apparently already been written weeks earlier.

Then he stopped sharing his location with me and blocked me on basically every platform.

I called him, and he answered the phone once. We talked, but honestly, I can barely remember what was said. That’s one of the strangest parts of this entire experience. I remember the feeling of that day more than I remember the actual events. I genuinely can’t remember the majority of what happened after that phone conversation.

We texted a little afterward. Eventually, I called him again.

And again.

And again.

He stopped answering.

At one point, he told me that if I had things I wanted to say, I should send Voice Memos and that he would respond through text.

I was desperate for some kind of understanding. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to understand how we went from being together to this complete cutoff in what felt like minutes.

He also told me that he had been depressed for weeks and that somehow I had triggered his PTSD. I tried to explain to him that I was struggling too. I wasn’t trying to intentionally hurt him or make things worse for him. I was trying to communicate what was happening inside of me because I cared about him.

And then it was just over.

What made the entire thing even more confusing was that about two months later, I found out that he was already in a relationship with someone else.

I don’t know what the timeline was. I don’t know when they met or what happened. I’m not trying to accuse him of anything.

But from my perspective, it was incredibly difficult to process.

I had spent those two months trying to understand what happened between us, replaying everything in my head, wondering if I had somehow destroyed the relationship, wondering if I had been too much, wondering what I could have done differently.

Meanwhile, I eventually found out that he was with someone else.

I think that’s part of why I still feel so stuck.

I feel like I’m still in that room on that day.

It’s been almost eight months, and sometimes it feels like my brain never fully left that moment. I still cry. I still think about him. I still wonder how someone can care about you one day and then block you everywhere the next.

And I know people are probably going to say, “It was just a TikTok.”

But it wasn’t really the TikTok.

The TikTok triggered something in me. It made me afraid that I was losing him, and I tried to communicate that. I tried to explain why it hurt. I tried to explain that I was struggling.

And somehow, shortly afterward, I lost him anyway.

I also struggle with the fact that I never got to tell him that I loved him.

I really, truly loved this person.

Maybe I was never going to get the response I wanted. Maybe the relationship wasn’t meant to last. Maybe there were things going on in his head that I didn’t understand. Maybe he genuinely was struggling with his own mental health and trauma.

I just don’t understand how someone can go from caring about you to ending everything so abruptly.

I don’t understand how I can go from being someone important in his life to being blocked on every platform.

And I don’t understand how I’m supposed to make sense of a breakup that happened so quickly when I’ve spent almost eight months trying to understand it.

I’m not posting this because I expect anyone to tell me that he’s going to come back. I’m not looking for people to tell me that I should contact him. I know I can’t force someone to talk to me.

I just genuinely don’t know how to move forward.

I feel like a part of me is still stuck on that day, trying to understand what happened and why.

If anyone has experienced something similar, or has any advice for how I can finally start moving forward from this, I would really appreciate hearing it.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe perspective. Maybe closure. Maybe I just need to finally put the whole story somewhere because I’m still struggling to understand how something that meant so much to me could end so abruptly.

I was seeing someone I’ll call Adam. We were together for about a year. We talked every single day, and even though we were long-distance and only got to see each other in person three times before things changed, there was a lot of emotional connection between us.

The fourth time we saw each other was when things became sexual, and honestly, that experience left me feeling incredibly alone. He was physically there with me, but emotionally it felt like he wasn’t really there. I remember feeling like I was alone in my own bed even though he was right beside me.

The next day, he told me that he felt like the only thing I wanted was sex. That hurt because that wasn’t how I felt at all. I had gotten him off multiple times, while he never really touched me or initiated anything with me. So hearing that afterward was confusing because I was already emotionally invested in him for reasons that had very little to do with sex.

I know some people will hear “long-distance” and “only three dates” and think maybe I was imagining the relationship or that it wasn’t that serious.
But it was serious to me.
We talked constantly.

We got to know each other in ways that went far beyond physical intimacy. I became emotionally attached to him, and eventually I realized I was falling in love with him.
And that’s part of what makes the ending so difficult.
Adam had fears about abandonment because of things he had experienced in previous relationships. I knew that. I wanted him to feel safe with me. I never wanted him to feel like I was going to abandon him or hurt him.
But somewhere along the way, he started interpreting me differently than I intended.

The thing that ultimately triggered the breakup started with something that, looking back, probably seems incredibly small.

He sent me a TikTok about partners being independent and having their own lives.

On the surface, I understand the message. I don’t think partners should be completely dependent on each other, and I understand the importance of maintaining individuality in a relationship.
But because of my own history, that TikTok hit me differently.

I’ve spent a huge portion of my life being alone. So instead of hearing, “We should both maintain our independence,” I interpreted it emotionally as, “You’re too much. You’re smothering me. I need space from you.”
It made me feel rejected.
I didn’t respond to it in the healthiest way. I internalized it, overthought it, and started questioning where I stood with him.
After that, things became weird between us for about a week.
We barely talked.
And during this period, I was also dealing with a lot personally. I was severely depressed and going through a bipolar episode, and I wasn’t in the best mental or emotional state. That doesn’t excuse how I handled things, but I think it’s important context because I wasn’t reacting from a stable place.

Eventually, I decided I needed to explain myself rather than continue sitting with all of those feelings.
So I sent him a very long message explaining why the TikTok had hurt me, what I had interpreted it as, what I was feeling, and what else I had been dealing with at the time.
I wasn’t sending it to attack him.
I wasn’t trying to start a fight.
I was trying to communicate.
And within minutes of sending it, he ended things.
He told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that I had triggered his PTSD.

I remember just sitting there thinking, How did we get here?

Because from my perspective, I had finally tried to explain why something hurt me, and instead of having a conversation about it, the relationship ended.

I didn’t understand how one difficult week and one emotional conversation could erase everything that had happened between us for the previous year.

And then, about two months later, I found out that he was already in another relationship.

That part was especially difficult to process.
I understand that people are allowed to move on.

I understand that someone can genuinely not be ready for a relationship with one person and later decide they’re ready with someone else.

But emotionally, it was devastating.
Because I was still trying to understand why he had left me while he had already moved forward with someone else.

And it made me question everything.
Was I really that overwhelming?
Was I really smothering him?
Did I misunderstand the entire relationship?
Was I just someone he needed to get away from?
Or did we simply experience the relationship very differently?

One of the things that hurts the most is that he seemed to believe I only wanted sex.

And I honestly don’t know how to reconcile that with what was actually happening on my end.
Sex wasn’t the reason I was attached to him.
I was falling in love with him.

In fact, I had been planning to ask him to officially be my boyfriend.

I had a whole plan in my head about taking him to a nice restaurant and asking him there.

I had also spent around $4,000 buying things from his Amazon Christmas registry. I know that sounds like an insane amount of money to some people, and maybe it was. But I wasn’t doing it because I thought I could buy his love. I was doing it because I cared about him and wanted to make him happy.

I still have a letter he had given me asking me to be his boyfriend.And there’s another part that makes the whole thing even more confusing.

On our third date, my friend actually wanted me to ask him to be my boyfriend.

But I wasn’t ready.
It was only our third time seeing each other, and I wanted us to know each other more before making that commitment.

What’s difficult for me is that Adam initially seemed to want commitment sooner, while I was the one saying I wanted to take things slower.

Then later, when I had finally reached the point where I was ready to choose him, he was the one pulling away.
That’s the part that absolutely destroys me.
Because while he apparently believed I wasn’t serious about him, I was quietly planning a future where we were actually together.
I wasn’t perfect.
I was scared.

I have always struggled with expressing certain emotions, and I know there were probably things I could have communicated better. I know my reaction to the TikTok wasn’t necessarily fair to him.

I know that sending a long emotional message during a period when I was severely struggling probably wasn’t easy for him to receive.

But I wasn’t trying to play games with him.
I wasn’t trying to lead him on.
I wasn’t trying to abandon him.

I was trying to figure out how to open up to someone I had become deeply attached to.

And then he left.
There wasn’t some massive cheating scandal.
There wasn’t some huge betrayal.
There wasn’t one giant fight where everything exploded and I understood why the relationship was over.
There was a TikTok.
A misunderstanding.
A difficult week.
A long emotional message.

And then suddenly, the person I had been talking to every day for a year was gone.

He told me I wasn’t ready for a relationship with him, that I had triggered his PTSD, and that he needed to leave.
And I was left trying to understand how something that felt so significant to me could apparently be ended so quickly.

What makes it worse is that I never got the conversation I thought we deserved.
I never got to tell him:
“I’m falling in love with you.”
I never got to tell him:
“I was planning to ask you to be my boyfriend.”
I never got to explain what was actually happening in my head.

I never got to tell him that the things he was afraid of weren’t what I wanted.
I never got to show him the version of me that was finally ready to fully choose him.
And now I’m left sitting here with all of these things that were supposed to have a future attached to them.

The gifts.
The letter.
The plans.
The conversations.
The memories.
The future I had started imagining.

And the person I was planning all of that around is gone.
I don’t know if Adam will ever understand what was actually happening on my side of the relationship.
Maybe he has his own version of the story, and I’m sure there are things he experienced that I didn’t fully understand either.

I’m not posting this because I think I’m completely innocent.

And I’m not trying to invalidate his PTSD or his feelings.

If I genuinely triggered something painful for him, then I understand why he needed to protect himself.
I just wish there had been room for one more conversation.

One conversation where we could have said, “This is what I heard. This is what I meant. This is what I was actually feeling.”

Instead, I feel like the relationship ended at the exact moment I was finally trying to communicate what was happening inside of me.

I just genuinely don’t know how you’re supposed to process being discarded by someone you were actively preparing to choose.

I think that’s what hurts the most.
He thought I wasn’t choosing him.
Meanwhile, I was getting ready to.

And now I’ll never know what would have happened if I had gotten the chance to say everything I was too scared, overwhelmed, and emotionally unprepared to say before he walked away.

How do you move on from someone when the relationship ended before you ever got to tell them how much they actually meant to you?

I’m trying to understand something that happened in my last relationship, and I’d genuinely like some outside perspective.

I’m not necessarily looking for people to automatically take my side—I want to know if I communicated something in an unhealthy or unfair way.
Earlier that week, my ex had sent me a TikTok about independence, having your own life in a relationship, and not allowing a relationship to become too emotionally heavy or consuming.

The TikTok itself wasn’t necessarily something I disagreed with. I actually agree that people in relationships should maintain their independence and have their own lives.

However, it unexpectedly hurt my feelings because it made me question whether I was becoming too much for him or whether wanting closeness and reassurance was a problem.

\\\*\\\*I eventually sent him this message:\\\*\\\*

I’ve been sitting with something, and I wanted to talk to you about it tonight. Do you remember earlier this week when you sent me that TikTok? It did hurt my feelings. I’m not angry, and I know your intention wasn’t to hurt me, but I want to be honest about how it landed.
When you sent it, it caught me off guard. I understand the point it was making about independence, and I don’t disagree with that — I value space and balance too. That part isn’t the issue for me.

What made it hard is that it touched a really sensitive place. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling alone or feeling like I don’t fully have a place with people. So when I hear things about needing distance or not wanting things to feel heavy, it can make me question whether there’s room for me to want closeness or reassurance without it becoming a problem.

To give you some context, most of my life it really has just been me. The only real mother figure I had passed away, and I don’t have a mom, a dad, or much of a support system. When I say I’ve been alone, I mean that very literally. Creating emotional bonds with people has always been hard for me — especially because my biological mother was abusive — so opening up and building connection isn’t something I take lightly.

Because of that, when you sent the video, it made me feel like I might be doing something wrong or that I was smothering you, even if that wasn’t your intention. It shook me more than I expected, and for a moment it felt like rejection.

I also want to be honest that the timing made it harder. The holidays are especially difficult for me, and I’ve spent Christmas, my birthday, and most holidays alone. I’m usually used to it, but sometimes the loneliness becomes overwhelming, and I think this moment just hit that place for me. I’m not sharing this to put anything on you — I just want you to understand where I was coming from and why it affected me the way it did.

I’m sharing this because you matter to me, and because I wanted you to understand me better.

My intention wasn’t to guilt him, make him responsible for my emotions, or tell him that he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain why the TikTok affected me and give him some context about where my reaction was coming from.

He ultimately broke up with me, and this conversation has left me questioning whether I genuinely did something wrong. and said I triggered his PTSD and he was depressed and ended things without a conversation. It was just over in the blink of an eye.

So, Reddit, **if someone you were dating sent you this message, how would you interpret it?**

I’m trying to understand something that happened in my last relationship, and I’d genuinely like some outside perspective.

I’m not necessarily looking for people to automatically take my side—I want to know if I communicated something in an unhealthy or unfair way.
Earlier that week, my ex had sent me a TikTok about independence, having your own life in a relationship, and not allowing a relationship to become too emotionally heavy or consuming.

The TikTok itself wasn’t necessarily something I disagreed with. I actually agree that people in relationships should maintain their independence and have their own lives.

However, it unexpectedly hurt my feelings because it made me question whether I was becoming too much for him or whether wanting closeness and reassurance was a problem.

\\\*\\\*I eventually sent him this message:\\\*\\\*

I’ve been sitting with something, and I wanted to talk to you about it tonight. Do you remember earlier this week when you sent me that TikTok? It did hurt my feelings. I’m not angry, and I know your intention wasn’t to hurt me, but I want to be honest about how it landed.
When you sent it, it caught me off guard. I understand the point it was making about independence, and I don’t disagree with that — I value space and balance too. That part isn’t the issue for me.

What made it hard is that it touched a really sensitive place. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling alone or feeling like I don’t fully have a place with people. So when I hear things about needing distance or not wanting things to feel heavy, it can make me question whether there’s room for me to want closeness or reassurance without it becoming a problem.

To give you some context, most of my life it really has just been me. The only real mother figure I had passed away, and I don’t have a mom, a dad, or much of a support system. When I say I’ve been alone, I mean that very literally. Creating emotional bonds with people has always been hard for me — especially because my biological mother was abusive — so opening up and building connection isn’t something I take lightly.

Because of that, when you sent the video, it made me feel like I might be doing something wrong or that I was smothering you, even if that wasn’t your intention. It shook me more than I expected, and for a moment it felt like rejection.

I also want to be honest that the timing made it harder. The holidays are especially difficult for me, and I’ve spent Christmas, my birthday, and most holidays alone. I’m usually used to it, but sometimes the loneliness becomes overwhelming, and I think this moment just hit that place for me. I’m not sharing this to put anything on you — I just want you to understand where I was coming from and why it affected me the way it did.

I’m sharing this because you matter to me, and because I wanted you to understand me better.

My intention wasn’t to guilt him, make him responsible for my emotions, or tell him that he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain why the TikTok affected me and give him some context about where my reaction was coming from.

He ultimately broke up with me, and this conversation has left me questioning whether I genuinely did something wrong. and said I triggered his PTSD and he was depressed and ended things without a conversation. It was just over in the blink of an eye.

So, Reddit, if someone you were dating sent you this message, how would you interpret it?

I’m trying to understand something that happened in my last relationship, and I’d genuinely like some outside perspective.

I’m not necessarily looking for people to automatically take my side—I want to know if I communicated something in an unhealthy or unfair way.
Earlier that week, my ex had sent me a TikTok about independence, having your own life in a relationship, and not allowing a relationship to become too emotionally heavy or consuming.

The TikTok itself wasn’t necessarily something I disagreed with. I actually agree that people in relationships should maintain their independence and have their own lives.

However, it unexpectedly hurt my feelings because it made me question whether I was becoming too much for him or whether wanting closeness and reassurance was a problem.

\*\*I eventually sent him this message:\*\*

I’ve been sitting with something, and I wanted to talk to you about it tonight. Do you remember earlier this week when you sent me that TikTok? It did hurt my feelings. I’m not angry, and I know your intention wasn’t to hurt me, but I want to be honest about how it landed.
When you sent it, it caught me off guard. I understand the point it was making about independence, and I don’t disagree with that — I value space and balance too. That part isn’t the issue for me.

What made it hard is that it touched a really sensitive place. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling alone or feeling like I don’t fully have a place with people. So when I hear things about needing distance or not wanting things to feel heavy, it can make me question whether there’s room for me to want closeness or reassurance without it becoming a problem.

To give you some context, most of my life it really has just been me. The only real mother figure I had passed away, and I don’t have a mom, a dad, or much of a support system. When I say I’ve been alone, I mean that very literally. Creating emotional bonds with people has always been hard for me — especially because my biological mother was abusive — so opening up and building connection isn’t something I take lightly.

Because of that, when you sent the video, it made me feel like I might be doing something wrong or that I was smothering you, even if that wasn’t your intention. It shook me more than I expected, and for a moment it felt like rejection.

I also want to be honest that the timing made it harder. The holidays are especially difficult for me, and I’ve spent Christmas, my birthday, and most holidays alone. I’m usually used to it, but sometimes the loneliness becomes overwhelming, and I think this moment just hit that place for me. I’m not sharing this to put anything on you — I just want you to understand where I was coming from and why it affected me the way it did.

I’m sharing this because you matter to me, and because I wanted you to understand me better.

My intention wasn’t to guilt him, make him responsible for my emotions, or tell him that he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain why the TikTok affected me and give him some context about where my reaction was coming from.

He ultimately broke up with me, and this conversation has left me questioning whether I genuinely did something wrong. and said I triggered his PTSD and he was depressed and ended things without a conversation. It was just over in the blink of an eye.

So, Reddit, if someone you were dating sent you this message, how would you interpret it?

I’m trying to understand something that happened in my last relationship, and I’d genuinely like some outside perspective.

I’m not necessarily looking for people to automatically take my side—I want to know if I communicated something in an unhealthy or unfair way.
Earlier that week, my ex had sent me a TikTok about independence, having your own life in a relationship, and not allowing a relationship to become too emotionally heavy or consuming.

The TikTok itself wasn’t necessarily something I disagreed with. I actually agree that people in relationships should maintain their independence and have their own lives.

However, it unexpectedly hurt my feelings because it made me question whether I was becoming too much for him or whether wanting closeness and reassurance was a problem.

\*\*I eventually sent him this message:\*\*

I’ve been sitting with something, and I wanted to talk to you about it tonight. Do you remember earlier this week when you sent me that TikTok? It did hurt my feelings. I’m not angry, and I know your intention wasn’t to hurt me, but I want to be honest about how it landed.
When you sent it, it caught me off guard. I understand the point it was making about independence, and I don’t disagree with that — I value space and balance too. That part isn’t the issue for me.

What made it hard is that it touched a really sensitive place. I’ve spent a lot of my life feeling alone or feeling like I don’t fully have a place with people. So when I hear things about needing distance or not wanting things to feel heavy, it can make me question whether there’s room for me to want closeness or reassurance without it becoming a problem.

To give you some context, most of my life it really has just been me. The only real mother figure I had passed away, and I don’t have a mom, a dad, or much of a support system. When I say I’ve been alone, I mean that very literally. Creating emotional bonds with people has always been hard for me — especially because my biological mother was abusive — so opening up and building connection isn’t something I take lightly.

Because of that, when you sent the video, it made me feel like I might be doing something wrong or that I was smothering you, even if that wasn’t your intention. It shook me more than I expected, and for a moment it felt like rejection.

I also want to be honest that the timing made it harder. The holidays are especially difficult for me, and I’ve spent Christmas, my birthday, and most holidays alone. I’m usually used to it, but sometimes the loneliness becomes overwhelming, and I think this moment just hit that place for me. I’m not sharing this to put anything on you — I just want you to understand where I was coming from and why it affected me the way it did.

I’m sharing this because you matter to me, and because I wanted you to understand me better.

My intention wasn’t to guilt him, make him responsible for my emotions, or tell him that he couldn’t have independence. I was trying to explain why the TikTok affected me and give him some context about where my reaction was coming from.

He ultimately broke up with me, and this conversation has left me questioning whether I genuinely did something wrong.

So, Reddit, if someone you were dating sent you this message, how would you interpret it?

Final goodbye to my ex should I send this?

Hi Ethan, it’s Adam.

I know I told you I’d respect your wishes, and I’m sorry for reaching out. There were a lot of things I never got the chance to say, so I wrote you a letter. I hope you’ll read it, but if you choose not to, I’ll understand. When things ended so abruptly and without much explanation, I never got the chance to tell you what I needed to say.

To be honest, it devastated me because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. What felt like such a sudden ending caught me completely off guard, and my feelings for you didn’t just disappear overnight. We spent nearly a year building a connection, and I’ve always struggled to believe it was really over because of a disagreement about a TikTok. I cared about you deeply, and even at the end I was trying to protect your feelings.

I kept apologizing because I genuinely believed I had hurt you. I’ve always felt like there was more going on than I understood, but I also accept that I may never know. I never would have abandoned you. I know you once shared that you were afraid of being abandoned, and I never wanted to hurt you.

I still don’t know if it was because of your mental health, if your feelings changed, or if something else was going on. I was already invested in us. I had planned to make things official the night you came down, and then again around Christmas—something I explain in the letter if you decide to read it.
Even if you never read another word, there was one thing I couldn’t leave unsaid: I fell in love with you, and I love you, Ethan. I know my feelings are my own responsibility, and I’m not asking anything of you. I just wanted you to know that you were deeply loved by somebody. I miss you, Ethan.

One last thing I wanted you to know is that I had to say these things so I could finally begin to heal. I just wish we’d had the chance to see where things could have gone. To me, what we were building was becoming something real. I finally let my walls down and allowed myself to be vulnerable with you, and when everything ended so suddenly, it hurt me more deeply than I knew how to express.

I wasn’t trying to hurt you when I went silent. I’ve been through a lot of things in my life that no one should have to go through, and sometimes withdrawing has been how I’ve coped. I explain that more in my letter if you decide to read it.

I’ll end with this: I really did care about you, and a part of me always will. I just wanted the chance to say goodbye properly.

I promise this will be the last time I reach out. I had to tell you because keeping it to myself was eating me alive, and I didn’t want to go through life without telling you how I felt.

Take care of yourself, Ethan.

I love you.

Best,

Adam

Final goodbye to my ex should I send this?

Hi Ethan, it’s Adam.

I know I told you I’d respect your wishes, and I’m sorry for reaching out. There were a lot of things I never got the chance to say, so I wrote you a letter. I hope you’ll read it, but if you choose not to, I’ll understand. When things ended so abruptly and without much explanation, I never got the chance to tell you what I needed to say.

To be honest, it devastated me because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. What felt like such a sudden ending caught me completely off guard, and my feelings for you didn’t just disappear overnight. We spent nearly a year building a connection, and I’ve always struggled to believe it was really over because of a disagreement about a TikTok. I cared about you deeply, and even at the end I was trying to protect your feelings.

I kept apologizing because I genuinely believed I had hurt you. I’ve always felt like there was more going on than I understood, but I also accept that I may never know. I never would have abandoned you. I know you once shared that you were afraid of being abandoned, and I never wanted to hurt you.

I still don’t know if it was because of your mental health, if your feelings changed, or if something else was going on. I was already invested in us. I had planned to make things official the night you came down, and then again around Christmas—something I explain in the letter if you decide to read it.
Even if you never read another word, there was one thing I couldn’t leave unsaid: I fell in love with you, and I love you, Ethan. I know my feelings are my own responsibility, and I’m not asking anything of you. I just wanted you to know that you were deeply loved by somebody. I miss you, Ethan.

One last thing I wanted you to know is that I had to say these things so I could finally begin to heal. I just wish we’d had the chance to see where things could have gone. To me, what we were building was becoming something real. I finally let my walls down and allowed myself to be vulnerable with you, and when everything ended so suddenly, it hurt me more deeply than I knew how to express.

I wasn’t trying to hurt you when I went silent. I’ve been through a lot of things in my life that no one should have to go through, and sometimes withdrawing has been how I’ve coped. I explain that more in my letter if you decide to read it.

I’ll end with this: I really did care about you, and a part of me always will. I just wanted the chance to say goodbye properly.

I promise this will be the last time I reach out. I had to tell you because keeping it to myself was eating me alive, and I didn’t want to go through life without telling you how I felt.

Take care of yourself, Ethan.

I love you.

Best,

Adam

Final goodbye to my ex should I send this?

Hi Ethan, it’s Adam.

I know I told you I’d respect your wishes, and I’m sorry for reaching out. There were a lot of things I never got the chance to say, so I wrote you a letter. I hope you’ll read it, but if you choose not to, I’ll understand. When things ended so abruptly and without much explanation, I never got the chance to tell you what I needed to say.

To be honest, it devastated me because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. What felt like such a sudden ending caught me completely off guard, and my feelings for you didn’t just disappear overnight. We spent nearly a year building a connection, and I’ve always struggled to believe it was really over because of a disagreement about a TikTok. I cared about you deeply, and even at the end I was trying to protect your feelings.

I kept apologizing because I genuinely believed I had hurt you. I’ve always felt like there was more going on than I understood, but I also accept that I may never know. I never would have abandoned you. I know you once shared that you were afraid of being abandoned, and I never wanted to hurt you.

I still don’t know if it was because of your mental health, if your feelings changed, or if something else was going on. I was already invested in us. I had planned to make things official the night you came down, and then again around Christmas—something I explain in the letter if you decide to read it.
Even if you never read another word, there was one thing I couldn’t leave unsaid: I fell in love with you, and I love you, Ethan. I know my feelings are my own responsibility, and I’m not asking anything of you. I just wanted you to know that you were deeply loved by somebody. I miss you, Ethan.

One last thing I wanted you to know is that I had to say these things so I could finally begin to heal. I just wish we’d had the chance to see where things could have gone. To me, what we were building was becoming something real. I finally let my walls down and allowed myself to be vulnerable with you, and when everything ended so suddenly, it hurt me more deeply than I knew how to express.

I wasn’t trying to hurt you when I went silent. I’ve been through a lot of things in my life that no one should have to go through, and sometimes withdrawing has been how I’ve coped. I explain that more in my letter if you decide to read it.

I’ll end with this: I really did care about you, and a part of me always will. I just wanted the chance to say goodbye properly.

I promise this will be the last time I reach out. I had to tell you because keeping it to myself was eating me alive, and I didn’t want to go through life without telling you how I felt.

Take care of yourself, Ethan.

I love you.

Best,

Adam

Final goodbye to my ex should I send this?

Hi Ethan, it’s Adam.

I know I told you I’d respect your wishes, and I’m sorry for reaching out. There were a lot of things I never got the chance to say, so I wrote you a letter. I hope you’ll read it, but if you choose not to, I’ll understand. When things ended so abruptly and without much explanation, I never got the chance to tell you what I needed to say.

To be honest, it devastated me because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. What felt like such a sudden ending caught me completely off guard, and my feelings for you didn’t just disappear overnight. We spent nearly a year building a connection, and I’ve always struggled to believe it was really over because of a disagreement about a TikTok. I cared about you deeply, and even at the end I was trying to protect your feelings.

I kept apologizing because I genuinely believed I had hurt you. I’ve always felt like there was more going on than I understood, but I also accept that I may never know. I never would have abandoned you. I know you once shared that you were afraid of being abandoned, and I never wanted to hurt you.

I still don’t know if it was because of your mental health, if your feelings changed, or if something else was going on. I was already invested in us. I had planned to make things official the night you came down, and then again around Christmas—something I explain in the letter if you decide to read it.
Even if you never read another word, there was one thing I couldn’t leave unsaid: I fell in love with you, and I love you, Ethan. I know my feelings are my own responsibility, and I’m not asking anything of you. I just wanted you to know that you were deeply loved by somebody. I miss you, Ethan.

One last thing I wanted you to know is that I had to say these things so I could finally begin to heal. I just wish we’d had the chance to see where things could have gone. To me, what we were building was becoming something real. I finally let my walls down and allowed myself to be vulnerable with you, and when everything ended so suddenly, it hurt me more deeply than I knew how to express.

I wasn’t trying to hurt you when I went silent. I’ve been through a lot of things in my life that no one should have to go through, and sometimes withdrawing has been how I’ve coped. I explain that more in my letter if you decide to read it.

I’ll end with this: I really did care about you, and a part of me always will. I just wanted the chance to say goodbye properly.

I promise this will be the last time I reach out. I had to tell you because keeping it to myself was eating me alive, and I didn’t want to go through life without telling you how I felt.

Take care of yourself, Ethan.

I love you.

Best,

Adam

I recently found out that I have a seat in the Respiratory Therapy program. I’ve already completed all of my prerequisites, so I would only need to take the respiratory-specific courses since I’m already a nurse.
I’m wondering if anyone here is both a nurse and a respiratory therapist.

I’d love to hear about your experience. I’ve been considering pursuing respiratory therapy because of the current economy and job market, and I think having both licenses could increase my earning potential and provide more career flexibility.

I also think it could potentially make me a more competitive applicant if I decide to pursue an advanced practice career in the future, whether that’s Physician Assistant (PA) school or Certified Anesthesiologist Assistant (CAA) school. I’m not completely sure which direction I want to go yet, but I’m trying to make the most informed decision I can.

For those who have both an RN and an RT credential, or who have experience working in both fields:

Was it worth earning both licenses?

Has having both credentials increased your income or

opened up more career opportunities?

Do you think having both backgrounds made you a stronger applicant for graduate or professional programs?

If you could do it all over again, would you still choose to become both an RN and an RT?

Are there any drawbacks or challenges I should know about before committing to the program?

I’d really appreciate any advice, insight, or constructive criticism. Thank you!

I’m posting this because I’ve been struggling to understand what happened, and I’m looking for honest outside opinions. I’m not posting this because I want people to automatically take my side or tell me my ex was wrong. I genuinely want perspective from people who aren’t emotionally involved.

I met this guy, and what started as a connection slowly became something that meant a lot to me. Even though we lived a distance apart and couldn’t see each other often, we talked every single day for about a year. We texted constantly, shared our lives with each other, opened up about personal things, and built a connection that felt much deeper than something casual.
Because of the distance, we didn’t get to spend as much time together in person as we wanted.

We went on four dates, but those dates were built on months of communication and getting to know each other. The connection I felt wasn’t just based on those moments together; it came from the consistency and emotional bond we had built over that entire year.

During that time, he opened up to me about his fears, including fears of abandonment and being hurt in relationships. I cared about those things because I wanted him to feel safe with me. I wanted him to know I wasn’t someone who was going to disappear or intentionally hurt him.

The first few dates felt meaningful. The person I knew through our conversations felt like the same person I met in real life. I felt comfortable around him, and I felt like there was something genuine between us.

One thing that has also made this situation difficult for me to understand is that at one point, he was the one who brought up making things official. On our third date, he asked me to be his boyfriend.

At that moment, I wasn’t ready to take that step yet. It wasn’t because I didn’t care about him or because I wasn’t interested in building something with him. I just wanted to make sure we were moving forward in a way that felt right and intentional.

Looking back, this is one of the parts that confuses me the most. From my perspective, it felt like we were building toward something. We were talking every day, opening up to each other, spending time together when we could, and having conversations about our feelings and our future. Because of that, the ending felt even more unexpected because I didn’t feel like we were moving away from each other.

Then there was a moment involving TikTok He shared a TikTok about how you don’t need to talk to your partner every day and how important it is to maintain independence in a relationship.

Looking at it objectively, I understand that independence is healthy. I don’t believe someone should lose themselves in a relationship.

However, because of the relationship we had built, it affected me deeply. For almost a year, talking every day had been one of the biggest parts of our connection. That consistency meant a lot to me, especially because I have struggled throughout my life with forming close bonds and feeling secure with people.

Seeing that TikTok made me feel like maybe the closeness we had built was no longer something he wanted or valued. I didn’t want to assume his intentions, so instead of accusing him, I wrote him a long message explaining why it hurt me. I tried to communicate my feelings and explain where I was coming from rather than blame him for having a different perspective.

After that conversation, things started feeling different.
We still went on our fourth date, and that was the night things became intimate between us.
For me, that moment carried a lot of emotional meaning. It wasn’t just about sex. After nearly a year of talking every day, sharing our lives, and building trust, intimacy felt like a step toward something more serious. I wasn’t looking at him casually.

At one point during all of this, he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I tried to respect that and didn’t pressure him or push him into something he wasn’t prepared for, even though it was difficult for me to hear because of how much I cared about him and how invested I had become. I accepted what he told me and tried to give him the space he needed because I didn’t want him to feel pressured.

What made it difficult to process was that about two months later, I found out he was in a relationship with someone else. Then, roughly a month after that, I learned that relationship had ended and he was back on dating apps again. That timeline was one of the hardest parts for me to understand because it left me questioning what “not being ready for a relationship” actually meant in our situation and whether the issue was truly about timing, circumstances, or something else entirely.

By that point, I had already started imagining a future with him. I had planned to ask him to officially be my boyfriend at a restaurant. I had bought things from his Amazon wishlist for Christmas because I was excited about showing him that he mattered to me. He had also previously written me a letter asking me to be his boyfriend, and I kept it because it meant so much to me.
That is why the ending was so difficult.

After everything we had built, things ended. From my perspective, it felt abrupt. There wasn’t a major fight, betrayal, or one obvious moment where I understood that things were over. I was left trying to process how we went from talking every day for a year, building a connection, and moving toward something more serious to suddenly not being together.

A big part of what made it difficult was that I never felt like I got the opportunity to fully express everything I was feeling or explain what he meant to me.

Eventually, I wrote him a letter that I haven’t sent yet. I knew I had said I would respect his wishes, and I apologized for reaching out, but there were things I never got the chance to say. I told him that I loved him, that I never wanted to abandon him, and that I wasn’t trying to pressure him or ask anything from him. I just wanted him to know that he was genuinely loved and that what we had mattered to me.

I told him that would be the last time I reached out.
Now I’m trying to move forward, but I still find myself trying to understand the situation. I’m not sure if I’m struggling because I lost the relationship itself, or because I never really understood why it ended.

I would appreciate honest opinions from people outside the situation. If you think I’m seeing things clearly, I’d like to hear that. If you think I’m missing something or holding onto something that I need to let go of, I’m open to hearing that too. i’m guessing you’ll just need to understand why I invested all this time with someone and they played games in the end and I’m left without closure.