u/surviving-somehow

Has anyone ordered their navratri skirt from meesho? If yes how was the quality? I'm a broke college student and can't spend much on a once a year fit.

I feel like it's pretty common knowledge that infj ppl often feel disconnected with people around them because very few are mature, patient and willing to understand us the way we're willing for others. I have been trying to accept this as a fact but sometimes it can be really difficult. It gets lonely, eventually.

People say they're there for me but I never once feel it and instead feel worse that they're making empty promises to me. It's not like I'm expecting too much from them, I am only expecting what I am willing to give and they're willing to take from me. Is it so difficult to reciprocate what you're receiving so conveniently?

I feel like over time it's affecting my confidence a lot. I try to make a superiority complex for myself thinking I'm probably better than them for being more mature and understanding. But then I think what's the point? What's the point of being so mature, understanding and observant if it's only bringing me loneliness and pain. And so my confidence shatters because apparently I'm not even as good as others because why else would I always have to be the bigger person while taking the hit from everyone? Why else would not a single person put the same efforts to understand me?

Everyone is either posting their gym pics, or fit checks. Some are posting random things like cats and cute thoughts but most are just posting their own pics. Why?

There are times I remember my birthday. It was like 5 months ago. I was already struggling with self esteem issues for weeks. I thought it's my birthday, it's supposed to be MY day, no one can take the attention away from me. Turns out I was wrong.

During my birthday party, the queen bee of our group sat on the centre of the table and she was the centre of attention for a good while until i got visibly upset and everyone realised. It hurt how I had to be upset to be the centre of attention on my own birthday.

Then when I went home, my mom asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner. I told her rice and I would order something to eat with it online. She agreed then, but later asked dad to bring some snacks because she was too lazy to make rice. I never asked her to cook, but it was my birthday and she offered herself, I didn't ask for it yet she made me feel like this ON MY BIRTHDAY. I got really upset, had an anger outbreak in front of them, went to my room and cried. Called my brother because i didn't know who else to. He just told me to adjust since they're older. Why should I adjust? It was my birthday and i was their kid. They were supposed to be the mature one not me. No one has given me a genuine apology ever since then. They believe I'll get over it but I can't, it's been months.

I have been nothing but nice to my family and friends. I always put my 100% efforts, but I feel so tired and lonely now. It's like there is not a single person in this world who loves me AND respects me. It's like I'm only lovable when I'm convenient to be around, when I'm a well behaved daughter, when I don't receive any attention from my friend groups and am only a side character. I spent my whole childhood, my whole life adjusting to others but no one is willing to adjust for me even on my birthday.

I'm not su!c!dal don't worry. But life just feels too lonely now. When will my family, friends, the people who are supposed to love me understand that they're hurting me everyday. I always try my best to understand their pain. Everyone comes to me to vent. But apparently I can't go to anyone because everyone treats me like an inconvenience, that I'm supposed to be the bigger person, the understanding one, the one who adjusts. When will I get to have my moment? My self esteem is rock bottom because of how I was raised, idk how to live for myself since I have always been a supporting character for others.

There are times I remember my birthday. It was like 5 months ago. I was already struggling with self esteem issues for weeks. I thought it's my birthday, it's supposed to be MY day, no one can take the attention away from me. Turns out I was wrong.

During my birthday party, the queen bee of our group sat on the centre of the table and she was the centre of attention for a good while until i got visibly upset and everyone realised. It hurt how I had to be upset to be the centre of attention on my own birthday.

Then when I went home, my mom asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner. I told her rice and I would order something to eat with it online. She agreed then, but later asked dad to bring some snacks because she was too lazy to make rice. I never asked her to cook, but it was my birthday and she offered herself, I didn't ask for it yet she made me feel like this ON MY BIRTHDAY. I got really upset, had an anger outbreak in front of them, went to my room and cried. Called my brother because i didn't know who else to. He just told me to adjust since they're older. Why should I adjust? It was my birthday and i was their kid. They were supposed to be the mature one not me. No one has given me a genuine apology ever since then. They believe I'll get over it but I can't, it's been months.

I have been nothing but nice to my family and friends. I always put my 100% efforts, but I feel so tired and lonely now. It's like there is not a single person in this world who loves me AND respects me. It's like I'm only lovable when I'm convenient to be around, when I'm a well behaved daughter, when I don't receive any attention from my friend groups and am only a side character. I spent my whole childhood, my whole life adjusting to others but no one is willing to adjust for me even on my birthday.

I'm not su!c!dal don't worry. But life just feels too lonely now. When will my family, friends, the people who are supposed to love me understand that they're hurting me everyday. I always try my best to understand their pain. Everyone comes to me to vent. But apparently I can't go to anyone because everyone treats me like an inconvenience, that I'm supposed to be the bigger person, the understanding one, the one who adjusts. When will I get to have my moment? My self esteem is rock bottom because of how I was raised, idk how to live for myself since I have always been a supporting character for others.

A person gets angry and is yelling at everyone, even breaking things and screaming slurs at everyone?

"That's alright, they're in a bad mood. They'll calm down in a while so let's just understand them right now."

A person crying because someone hurt them and they're trying to communicate their feelings to others?

"How pathetic and annoying. Why do they always have to ruin the mood by bringing up their feelings. Just deal with it alone, don't cause us inconvenience."

It really pisses me off, both are emotional outbreaks. If anything anger outbreaks may even cause damage to others. Yet they're tolerated. But if someone tries to communicate their feelings softly they're told to deal with it alone and not make it someone else's problem.

It really annoys me how it's always the loudest person with anger issues that gets a pass for their shitty behaviour. But when a soft emotional person tries to talk it out they're told their emotions are an inconvenience.

This happens a lot in my family. I'm the youngest. Anyone else has had a bad day and is taking it out on others? Everyone is like "it's okay they're tired". Whenever I try to talk about something thats bothering me everyone tells me "hota hai, koi na, so ja ja kar" (it happens, no worries, just get some rest).

Even in my friend group if any loud person is ranting about how bothered they're, everyone supports them. If things get bad they just sit quietly until that person calms down. But if I ever bring up something that's bothering me they shut me off saying "stop complaining, don't ruin the mood" like wtf?

Now I am not a person who can take out their anger normally. I just don't have it in me to take out my frustration on someone innocent. So I usually just try to communicate and vent. But my patient feelings are dealt with such ignorance and criticism while the people who actually show anger aggressively are validated.

Throughout my childhood my brother has enjoyed ragebaiting me as a joke to the point it could have been considered bullying. He did it purely for my reaction.

Now my friends often ragebait me too claiming it's too easy to ragebait me. I wonder if it's a part of infj trait lol.

Everyone is like "don't be insecure, acne is natural, it's beautiful" yeah well even if I ignore how it looks, I cannot ignore how it feels. It's so damn itchy and painful and you can't even itch it properly or else you might injure yourself.

Oh but "eat clean, get your hormones checked, drink water, use tret" for some people acne doesn't go away no matter what. Sometimes it's genetic and god decided to bless me with this annoying genetic.

I don't mind having many scars on my face, just stop itching and hurting 😭

I just saw a reel of a bihari bride asking her mua to clean up the excessive sindoor on the nose and touch up the makeup. Everyone in the comments were so upset about how she didn't follow the culture and that marriage nowadays is a joke.

Well guess what marriage has always been a joke. She paid for her wedding and her look, she has the right to not want her nose to be orange in the pictures.

Moreover why do only women have to follow such customs of wearing mangalsutra and sindoor after marriage. I understand that in earlier times it was to avoid the gaze from men by visibly showing everyone she's married. However even in the big 2026 if men need women to be married to not have creeps lust on her, I don't think we have improved at all. And why doesn't the guy show that he's married? Why does only women have to carry around that label?

I really want to post this on a generic indian sub but ik the men would just be like "aaj kal ki ladkiyo ko har chiz se dikkat h"

Here's the story of a youngest daughter who was taught to erase herself just so others could be comfortable. Ik when I said "youngest daughter" you must be thinking I am probably crying over the most trivial thing, and I know a lot of you would still think this even after reading what I experience. But it's okay. Because I have had the same opinion my whole life, but not anymore.

I want to talk about my mom. Like every other indian mom, she's a nice woman, a sweet one, who had the potential to do everything she wanted. She was well educated and top of her class. Yet she chose to marry, CHOSE, no one asked her to, that's just the decision she made and her parents found a groom for her so she did. But she hates my dad. My dad isn't physically abusive but he's not the best husband. He's a great dad, I couldn't ask for a better one, but he still isn't the kind of guy I would ever want to marry. Yet, he made my mom do master's, made her capable of doing a job but she simply chose not to. She chose to be a housewife and live the miserable life.

She chose to make kids with a man she doesn't love, she had the option not to (I'm not gonna go deep into how but she had the option). Yet she chose to have kids and decided to take all her frustration out on me. Not my older brother, nope. According to her men can't be reasoned with so she chose to take it out on me. All my life, I just let her scold me for absolutely no reason, she cursed me, blamed me for any minor inconvenience she faced, ranted to me. She took out the frustration of her life, her choices on me. As a kid I couldn't do much, I just listened, I sympathized with her. She's an adult, adults have a difficult life so I just let her take her frustration out on me. This highly hurt my self esteem growing up, so even my friends end up treating me like shit just because they can.

But even when I grew up, she didn't stop, she kept on going. Days and days of coming home after a long day of college, only so she could rant, blame and scold me for things that I never did. But at this point I was done with taking it so I started fighting back, little by little. But they just wouldn't care, my family just believed that I am being difficult for not taking their verbal curses. They claim that "at least we didn't hit you or swear at you, you don't know what outside world is like we love you so much". But I do know what it's like, I hear taunts from my friends and teachers everyday, I face the unfairness of world everyday but they don't believe so because I'm the youngest and apparantly my issues are not real.

Just because they kiss my forehead after taking out all their day's frustration on me, they believe they have done nothing wrong. I guess they do kiss the brick before they throw it at me. I don't know what I am anymore, I don't love myself, I love my family because well they're my family but I can't take this everyday. As long as I am eating, they believe they're doing the job. If I am sick they don't take me to the hospital, if I get hurt they just blame me for getting hurt. They believe they can do whatever they want with me just because they fed me and paid for my education.

I didn't ask to be born, I would rather have physically abusive parents at this point because at least then they don't have excuses for their behaviour. My body is already broken from all the neglect and sickness anyways. Yeah ik it sounds crazy but I have honestly lost all the hope with my life now. I don't want to die, but I never learned how to live for myself either. I have always been the punching bag for everyone and idk what else to do. Sure I can finish education and escape maybe but then what? What do I do? Idk. I doubt I can even figure it out. I'll probably just regret cutting everyone out of my life because I am more afraid of being alone than being abused since I am so used to it now.

I am just so done with myself and people around me. I am a younger sibling and spent all my life adjusting with everyone else because that's what I was taught to do. Don't cry, don't complain, just do whatever you're told to do, don't be difficult. Don't have an opinion, just stop talking whenever you're interrupted, your problems don't matter, don't be an inconvenience. I grew up listening to such things from my family, which eventually affected my personality and my social life.

Now all I am is an insecure, sensitive mess of an adult. I never ask for help, even if I am on the verge of collapsing. I have been sick every single day, allergies, body pain, missed months of periods and what not but every time I would tell my mom, she would just make an annoyed face and make me feel like i am being difficult for asking to go to a doctor. It's not like we can't afford it, she just believes it's inconvenient to take me there. Whenever someone in my house is in a bad mood, they take it out on me. There's no physical abuse but the emotional trauma is growing on me now.

My friends? Well I feel like most of the time they remember me only when it's convenient. They do invite me to hangouts and stuff but even there I feel like i am never the centre of attention and never feel appreciated, always pushed to the side or back. I am never someone's priority. I somehow made one friend who made me feel appreciated, but recently I messed up and he grew distant with me and i deeply hate myself for losing the only person who somewhat cared about me.

On my birthday, I got really tired of everyone treating me like this and just called my brother to vent everything. He was my final hope. But all he told me to do was lower my expectations and deal with my issues since I am only in college and my problems are not that big. I lost all my courage that day. Something in me broke and never healed.

It's easy for everyone to say, just focus on yourself, prioritise yourself, workout, take care of your health, change your friend circle, and all that. But I tried, I truly tried, I just can't do this alone. It feels too lonely. What am I even living for? I am just a scapegoat for everyone. I tried to live for myself but it's just too difficult to do everything alone. All I needed was just ONE person to pat my back and tell me they see my efforts but I don't think I am capable of keeping such a person around.

So my female friends are all pretty and popular and I always feel like I am living in their shadow. They never have to approach anyone, people come to them. People do whatever they demand, they're always the center of attention. I have a pretty soft and introverted personality. I try to be nice to everyone but because I am always so quiet and not so pretty, people don't pay any attention to me. Even in my own friendgroup I often feel sidelined. Even if I achieve something or do something really nice for someone, I barely get a moment of attention.

I know a lot of you would tell me to go to gym, work on myself, do skin care and what not and I try. I truly try. But I have some chronic health issues because of which my hormonal cycle is pretty fucked up and I constantly have bad acne and bad hair and my energy is so low I can't even walk much, sports or gym is a far thought. Still, every day I am trying to do something right at least but I always feel like I would never be able to do enough to be confident.

Btw I never harm any of my friends, I would never do anything bad to another person willingly, never. However I do get bitter and jealous pretty often, I don't let it show or let them know that but slowly I am drowning in my own insecurity. It's like I was meant to live like this. I feel like even if keep progressing really hard and become the best version of myself, I would still be 10% of the pretty and popular they are.

Some people are born to be side characters i guess.

I was a pretty cheerful person when I was a kid but teenage bullying and middle school made me socially anxious over time. I grew out of it kinda in college but I was left with a really introverted personality and tbh I don't hate it. I enjoy my own company, my quiet nature, my peace, spending my time alone and learning new hobbies. Also I feel like it gave me a very down to earth and comforting vibe as well (at least that's what people tell me).

However, just because I am an introvert doesn't mean I don't like making friends or don't like attention yk? Sure I may not be the most popular person, and I don't want to be. I may not be the leader of a friendgroup, I may not be loud, I may be more of a listener than a yapper. But just because I have that kind of personality does not mean I want to be overlooked. A lot of times, whenever I would be telling a story or a joke or giving my opinion in a discussion, it's like a louder person would always try to take the lead or interrupt me or make a bigger joke, trying drag attention to themselves and it really pisses me off. People treat me like "oh she's quiet, she probably doesn't want to give an input to this convo" but when I try they always ignore or overlook me.

The ironic part is when you point this out to someone, the extroverts would be like "no we never do that" but the introverts would always notice such moments and agree with me. Every time such an awkward moment happens, I would just randomly look around brushing it off and would find one of the introverted members of the group giving me the look "it's okay, I heard you" and it's sweet but also kinda embarrassing?

It's like the louder personality you have, the more you would lead, which is understandable. But some loud people really can't notice how they're trying to push others aside in their desire for attention and how mean it can be. Am I the only one who feels this way? Or am I just being petty?

Till season 6 I was like damn this show is good, why do people complain so much about it going bad. And tbh, while I do still believe the ending wasn't bad and I wouldn't have ended it any other way, it just got a bit annoying to watch.

Fighting the white walkers was cool, really cool but it just didn't have that GOT suspense anymore. It's like we kind of knew most of the main characters would survive because if they didn't, who would go against cersei? For the very first time, this show felt really really predictable to me and even though it's not bad, it's just not what I expected from THIS show that often manages to shock me.

Moreover I feel like a huge reason why I didn't like the last two seasons was none other than Daenerys. I always felt like she was too arrogant and entitled but still liked her because she managed to build everything through struggles from scratch and we see it. However she proved she is a power hungry tyrant herself. She is no better than the mad king or cersei or joffrey. She claims she wants to make the world a better place but destroyed the king's landing herself and even though she knew she would gain nothing from it.

I never thought I would hate her more than Cersei tbh. At least Cersei admits she doesn't care about anyone and that she's evil. Daenerys on the other hand is just performative. She might have a bit of sympathy for the commoners but over time, it just didn't feel genuine. Her introduction always made me cringe because if you're who you truly are, you wouldn't feel the need to say it out loud so many teams. And it's annoying how she just demands everything and expects it at her feet.

I respected her because she managed to make some smart decisions but I mean, she isn't much special for it. All she had was her name to be honest, she had A LOT of privileges just because she was a Targaryen. She lost her husband and child due to her own foolishness and used them as sacrifice to get dragons and claims it as an achievement. It was honestly that witch's dark magic that brought the dragon's back, not her.

Despite all my hate for her, I feel like I would've still respected her if she never came to westeros and rules mereen instead. She was struggling at even that and believed she was capable of ruling westeros lol. Jon would definitely have been way better ruler. He achieved a lot with just his bastard name meanwhile she had to rely on her dragon genes for everything.

Also Jon and her had TERRIBLE chemistry. I was literally skipping on their romance scenes, it felt so forced. At drogo with her and that wildling girl with jon felt natural. Also I hate how we never got to see dorne and the reach in battle. I was really looking forward to those women ruling. Also kinda wished there was more screentime for the direwolves.

I feel like I'll definitely rewatch got one day but only the first 6 seasons.

I think most people are gonna say highgarden or dorne and to be honest, I believe the same.

Highgarden is beautiful and also pretty self sufficient since they have fertile lands. Also, at least in the show, we see women have pretty good authority there. Margaery was one of the strongest and morally good characters. Everyone in their ruling family seems to be nice too.

Dorne is culturally rich and also really open minded. They have equal rights for women and is also a really beautiful kingdom. They have a lot of respect for their people and their guests and also have one of the most skilled warriors.

Additionally, I kinda also like the vale. We don't get to see much about their people but they seem loyal and cautious at least. But my main reason is how beautiful the vale and the castle is. I mean I could stare out of the windows there all day lol.