u/woodland-haze

My father is terminally ill, and I’ll be receiving a large inheritance which will be part of my monthly income.

I currently work part-time and love it (would work full time if I could, my position only gets part time hours, but I can move up to a full time position later on once I’ve worked there long enough). I am also trying to develop my career on the side in my free time. I am making money from it, albeit not a lot yet, which I am aiming to change. I feel like I have a pretty good work life balance right now where I have enough time both for my creative endeavors outside of my regular job as well as a social life or hobbies.

My mother keeps telling me that in order to be stable, I have to get a full-time job that pays 50k/year. I’ve been trying to tell her that 50k/year jobs don’t just fall in your lap that easy (especially if you’re in your early 20s, like me) nor are they common in my field (the arts, where most professionals work contract or freelance). My roommate works full-time and is still only living paycheck to paycheck on 21k/year, and he feels like he barely has any time for himself. Full-time does not always equal more money or fulfillment. I honestly think I can be satisfied and happy on 25-30k/year, especially as I do not plan to ever have kids.

I am conflicted, because yes, I agree most people cannot survive on only part-time work + self-directed side work (I am only “affording” life right now because my father cosigns my rent). However, I am not most people. This inheritance will give me the freedom to still be stable on part-time if I choose, as well as afford expenses which can help me make more money from business. Most of the money I gain per month will be saved or invested.

I hear conflicting views from professionals in my field. Some say they are able to work unrelated full time positions and still make time for developing the career they’re actually passionate about (but in exchange for sacrificing time for other parts of their life), while others say “you have to be PART time, if you work full time you WON’T have time to develop your portfolio.”
For all intents and purposes, I love my day job and do not intend to quit. I know working full time in art isn’t doable for most people, and it would be great if I could, but I think it would be stupid to quit a day job until/unless I know I can maintain a consistent monthly income from art alone (as in an amount that could support me on a reasonable budget even without the inheritance).

I’ve been considering going back to school so I can get qualifications to work a full time day job that I actually like, at least (considering studying vet tech, I love working with animals).
But I’m afraid I’m only giving into family pressure to work full time because she thinks that’s the only “normal” or “correct” way to have a career, that I’ll lose sight of what I care about and give up on the dreams I’ve been working my whole life towards for a false sense of security, when the inheritance will already be providing me security.
There’s a short film called “Here’s The Plan” that keeps coming to mind. I don’t want to waste years of my life doing something that isn’t actually aligned with my goals because I wanted to “play it safe.”

I know I will have significantly more privilege and freedom than I did before but I don’t want to be stupid about it. My roomie thinks that if I can stay part-time and still be stable, then I should, bc he hates being full time and only does so because he actually has to. However he’s young like me so I understand taking his advice with a grain of salt.
Is my mother right or is she out of touch? Should I listen to her or take advantage of the extra time my inheritance could afford me if I so choose? My gut tells me to do the latter, but I’ve been wrong before.

When I started college in 2021, no one would’ve predicted that by the time we graduated, our jobs would be replaced by robots on a massive scale. Needless to say I am pissed. I worked literally my whole life for this. So did my classmates. Almost nobody in my graduating class has been able to find work. Hundreds of young adults $100k+
in debt for an empty job market. Are we supposed to just be ok with this? I refuse to be ok with this.

I can’t tell if it IS algorithm or something I’m just not getting. I have almost 500 followers (and yes I know they’re real people, I block bots on sight), most of my posts still only get around 100 views and less than 10 likes. People I see with a similar follower count don’t seem to have the same problem. I post my new stuff to stories, I also make sure to post reels (not just photos) and attach music to photo posts bc that seems to be what the algorithm promotes, and still nada. I got lucky one time where one reel popped off and got 30k views then never again. I don’t get it. I got more attention on Instagram as an amateur in high school than I do now after graduating art school.

Is it because I only post when I have something finished to share??? I don’t want to fill my profile with non-art posts just for the sake of posting, that seems sloppy. I can’t crunch out a new piece every week either.

I’m just frustrated. My work performs better literally anywhere else, even if not by much.

So with sigils I know you have to “forget” about it for them to work. The issue with me is that it feels like the saying “if you try NOT to think about a pink elephant, you will inevitably think of pink elephants.” I hid a sigil in a piece of art I made, and though you cannot see the sigil, I am reminded of the sigil when I see the art I made. I took someone’s suggestion to hide the sigil in a PFP since my intent was related to online endeavors. Did I perhaps not think this through.

I have this compulsion that makes me feel like a creep, tied to my real event OCD. I don’t act on it often BECAUSE it makes me feel like a creep, but every so often I act on it and feel bad everytime (and everytime I don’t find anything new that either reassures OR exacerbates the obsession that I’m a horrible evil person that deserves death).

I have a bad habit of, from time to time, checking the social medias of people I’ve wronged, to see whether or not I’ve made a lasting hurtful impact on them. I haven’t spoken to these people in years and don’t like being nosy, I don’t want to know what else is going on in their life, I only want to know if they’re still hurt and affected by stuff I said to them years ago. Obviously I don’t find any answers that confirms it either way. So I’m just left feeling like a creep bc I’m sure they wouldn’t like that I’m doing this if they knew.

I just want to stop. This is a useless, creepy, time-wasting habit and I wish I wasn’t still obsessing over shit that happened when I was a teenager so that I didn’t feel compelled to repeat the same stupid fuckin search prompts over and over.

The worst part is they could’ve forgiven me (doubtful) by now, but as long as I never know, I still won’t be able to move on from it because I can’t forgive myself.

For those who are unmedicated, I wanted to share how much it’s improved my life. OCD affected my ability to enjoy my adolescence to the point where I ended up traumatized because my mental state was taken advantage of by people with ill intent. Though i was aware I had OCD symptoms since I was 13, I wouldn’t be diagnosed until I was 16. I wouldn’t be medicated until my freshman year of college.

Medication isn’t a cure, I still have bad days, but there are now only few, when it used to be constant. I really wish I got medicated earlier. It could’ve saved me so much pain. I’m certain I probably wouldn’t have done as well in college if I continued living unmedicated.

Zoloft really did change everything. I think a lot of people struggling here may be who I once was, children not getting the proper treatment they need, and feeling like there’s no hope bc of it. I want to let those people know, even if most or all of your childhood has been tainted due to this disorder, you can still begin to enjoy what you’ve lost in your young adulthood. And even if you’re older than me and lost your young adulthood, you can still enjoy the many years left ahead of you as well.

Medication isn’t for everyone, but at least for me, the difference is night and day. I’m posting this bc the people I see contemplating harming themselves the most tend not to be medicated. I still have passive ideation from time to time, but before I got on meds, it was always on my mind but no longer is.

It can be so much easier. It’s not you, it’s your brain. Seeing how much SSRIs changed me is, ironically, the biggest reassurance I’ve ever received that I’m a normal person like anyone else, and that reassurance doesn’t continue the cycle, it is stable and firm.

I made a pact with Bune, that in exchange for growth and success in some chosen areas of my life, I’d do better to cut down on bad habits and build up some good ones as devotion to her.

One of those bad habits was abusing weed. I used to do it recreationally then got dependent on it after using it to cope with some shitty stuff in my life.

I’m limiting myself to only 5 uses per month. I’ve already had my 5 uses this month. Consecutively. Yeah. Been sober for maybe a week and a half now. The month is almost over, but god, I already want to use again so bad. I underestimated how bad I actually have it. I’m finding myself tempted to go out and get more already, but I made a spiritually binding promise to her and I want to keep it and stop trying to find excuses or loopholes.

I’m doing my best but. Lordy. I’m trying to put my focus on other things to help me wind down for the night but all I can think about is how I want to run to the drug shop down the street and get high again. Just one more time before the month ends. Yeah right, like it’ll only be once.

I’m kinda just shouting into the void here lol. The spirit is willing but the flesh is so so weak lmao

Bune give me strengthhh…

I’m seeing a weirdly large amount of peoples’ accounts popping only once they start posting content to essentially make people feel bad for them. Lots of comics or videos on my feed about how they hate algorithms, they’re struggling to get into the job market, they don’t sell well at markets or cons, etc. and this content gets tons of views and likes which ironically grows that creator’s platform.

I can see why, these are real issues rn and it’s relatable, hell I relate to it too. I just find it kind of? Strange? Because wouldn’t whining about how your business isn’t doing well have the opposite effect? I struggle, and I know everyone else also struggles, but I keep that to myself. I wouldn’t be blasting it to my audience. Wouldn’t the constant negativity push people AWAY from your content? How is this an actual marketing strategy?

I’ve been going through these exact same things, so should I have just been complaining about them this whole time??? Is that what I needed to do to finally get the algorithm to share my work with a wider audience??? Are we being serious rn???

It seems like all the advice I’ve been given my whole life is being contradicted by everything I’m actually seeing.
- “Don’t be entitled to your professors’ time, they have busy lives outside of you” —> the most successful people out of my class so far are successful because they sucked up to faculty and got jobs directly through them before they even graduated.
- “Just keep sending out applications and eventually something will land” —> unless you already have connections in high places, you’re just sending applications into the void.
- “Don’t complain or whine, it’s unappealing and makes people less willing to work with you” —> I’m seeing peoples’ art accounts pop off only ONCE they start complaining and whining.

This makes no sense man. I’m tempted to jump on the algorithm train bc yeah, my life postgrad had been sucking hard too, but I cannot bring myself to do that because I think it is just such unattractive behavior!

Weird question, but do you ever find that anxiety blocks you from doing what you know to need to in order to progress in your independent practice?

I have OCD and find myself avoiding reading/watching educational art business content, market research, messaging potential leads, sending out applications, etc. because any risk of failure or rejection feeds into my self-defeating thought cycle that I’m going to be stuck and unhappy and directionless in my career forever and I’ll Never Be Where I Want To Be Ever TM.
When I take advantage of my free time to push myself forward, even if only one step after another, I sometimes trigger myself to spiral into a bawling mess for hours instead if I overthink about it too much and I hate it, thanks effed up brain chemistry lol. Yes I am on meds btw hahaha

I guess I just want to know that I’m not alone in this weirdly specific experience I guess, and ask what helped for others to make those stuff feel less anxiety inducing and instead more exciting and motivating like I know it could be.

Howdy, just found this sub. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ve become mentally dependent on this drug to the point of detriment and I want to change.

When I started, it was purely a once in a blue moon recreational thing and I was pretty responsible about it. I was able to take t-breaks without immediately craving it a few days after.

After I graduated college, a lot of bad shit happened one after the other and I was an emotionally devastated wreck. I turned to weed to cope and drown out my anxiety and suicidal thoughts (I’m mentally ill and shit was getting so bad that my meds weren’t enough anymore).

Inadvertently, repeated use trained my brain to keep wanting it on a regular basis when in the past I had more self control. It became once a week, then every other day, then everyday.

I couldn’t let myself sit with uncomfortable emotions anymore. If I felt even the slightest tinge of dread or doubt about the future crawling up my back, I’d smother it down before it spiraled further. I’ve wasted so much time and money on it, when it was just to stop me from crying myself to sleep at night.

I hate that it’s made me so unproductive and financially irresponsible. I don’t want to necessarily stop using it forever, but I need a long ass break (weed is becoming illegal in my state again soon, so I’m guess I’m going to either way :/ thanks republicans!!!)

I want to learn to be able to handle feeling sad or scared again without feeling the urge to run away from what’s hurting me. I kinda just hate that my mental illness makes me start feeling suicidal the second shit goes wrong though. Kinda hard to process my emotions when I’ve convinced myself in the moment that Things Suck Now And They Are Going To Suck Forever TM.

Anyways, hello community 👋 I hope we all feel better soon. I want to have a healthier relationship with the Plant TM again

I am in the camp that it is pretty immature to judge someone’s character based on their signs or placements alone, but with that being said, I definitely get along with some better than others 😅

What’s a placement you’ve never gotten along with ever? As an Aqua, for me it’s Leo moon (I do not have the same problem with Leo suns funnily enough)

Shoutout to older butch lesbians, you are all cool (and hot) afff

As a fellow butch I take great comfort in knowing that when I grow older I’m still gonna feel confident and handsome not in spite of my age but because of it, bc I have met a handful of you and I am no longer afraid of aging 🙌

Anyways keep flaunting your style kings and queens

There’s been a lot of criticism towards small businesses online lately, and while a lot of it is valid (unoriginal or cheaply made products, selling someone else’s 3D printed designs, AI slop, pity marketing) I think I’m starting to see that animosity being directed at small businesses altogether and I find it really disheartening.

I’m seeing a lot of people spit on the statement “art is a luxury” with the response “but anyone can make art.” There are a lot of things wrong with that statement and I’m sure I don’t have to explain them considering most of you are artists and already know what I mean.

I’m seeing entitlement in people thinking art should vastly be free or cheap. For every product that is genuinely overpriced, I see prices that are perfectly reasonable getting called outrageous.
It seems like some people aren’t taking into account that expenses spent on materials, time spent on production, consideration of profit margins, and tax factors into the final price.
A lot of people don’t realize that the price they’d pay for a certain piece would be pricing the worth of the piece at less than minimum wage spent per hour making it. Pricing something at only $5-10 dollars more than you spent to make it also simply ain’t a high enough margin for most people.
Something you get from an artist isn’t going to cost the same as a similar item from a mall store or something (the people who create said items for mall stores are likely severely underpaid for their contribution too).
I think inflation has messed with peoples’ perceptions as to what is and isn’t fair pricing. Some are getting mad over prices that is literally pocket change for most people. And no wonder, so many people can’t afford to spend even pocket change anymore.
Most art that can be enjoyed for free is free because they have outside funding behind it (not all artists pursue art as a business or they have a private benefactor(s) supporting their practice, some creators share bonus content on Patreon in addition to free content, indie animation is funded by ad revenue or merch sales, etc.)

There’s a stereotype of the “small business owner” frequenting craft fairs being some young 20-something “on the grind” for a side hustle because they’re chronically broke or don’t want to work an actual job or something. Sure, those people exist.
A big chunk of the small business owners I know though however are people who spent thousands on a college degree only to receive little to no support or guidance from their career development department. So yeah, I don’t blame them for trying to take matters into their own hands to make a livelihood off their art as they intended, any way they can, when traditional paths like networking or climbing the corporate ladder have failed them. Gotta pay off those student loans.

It’s just feeling bitter out here fellas. Everyone is broke, both worker and customer, and it’s turning them against each other and it makes me sad.