u/xara_dxx9119

I have a sister and we’ve always been very close.

When we were younger, even in our 20s, we would still sleep in the same bed. Hindi naman kasi malaki ang bahay, at wala rin kaming sariling kwarto.

After college, I left home and moved to Manila to work and live independently. I’d only come home about once a month. She was still in college then.

But everytime I came home, she would still sleep beside me. We’d talk about everything I missed while I was away, love lives, our younger siblings, life in general. Sometimes we’d talk until sunrise.

Kada umuuwi ako, Ang bonding namin usually grocery shopping, general cleaning and cooking/baking together. We lost our mom when we were in high school, so in many ways, we grew up together and became each other’s confidants.

Then she got married.

At first, it didn’t really sink in. Until, during the reception, I was asked to give a message to the newlyweds.

And suddenly it hit me. She wouldn’t be using our family name anymore. She wouldn’t be coming home to our house as her home. She would have her own home, her own family and a husband who would now be her person.

And selfishly, I thought… “Sino nang magtatanong sa akin kailan ako uuwi? Sino nang tatabi sa akin matulog at kakuwentuhan ko hanggang madaling araw?“ 🥹

I said all of that in my message. We both ended up crying.

At present, she has her own family and her own little world. Their house is actually right beside ours, but somehow, it still feels different. She’s no longer the sister I can expect to be there every night.

And I guess that’s one of the bittersweet things about growing up. You share your childhood with your siblings, make a thousand memories together, and then one day, they build a life of their own.

But she’s still my best friend.

I’m just lucky that I got to grow up with her first. ❤️

I’m still relatively new to Muay Thai and I had an experience this week that made me reflect on what good sparring should actually look like.

I was paired with someone for sparring. We had agreed on light to moderate sparring, but afterward she became upset and cried. It was the first time anything like that has ever happened to me. I apologized because the last thing I want is to make a training partner feel unsafe or leave the gym feeling worse because we sparred.

As a beginner, I’m still learning how to gauge intensity and match my partner’s pace. Personally, I’m not looking for someone who just wants to “win” gym rounds or leave me bruised every session. At the same time, I don’t want someone who goes so light that neither of us improves.

For those of you with years of experience, what qualities make someone your favorite sparring partner?

I’m a beginner in Muay Thai and so was the person I sparred with tonight. Neither of us has had an amateur fight.

One of the coaches invited me to spar with one of their clients. It was supposed to be 3 rounds, moderate or technical, but we only did 1 because she got upset afterward. She said she thought it was going to be technical and that I was going beyond that.

What confused me is that she was also throwing solid kicks and landed a few punches to my face. I didn’t complain because my goal in sparring is to get comfortable getting hit and not panic under pressure. When it was my turn to throw combinations, though, she seemed irritated and felt I was hitting too hard.

Later, I found out she cried, and her coach had a pep talk with her. I honestly felt bad because hurting or discouraging someone was never my intention.

So I’m wondering, if your partner throws hard shots at you, do you match their intensity, or do you keep yours lower? Also, those who’ve coached beginners, what usually causes situations like this?

I’m genuinely asking because I want to become a better training partner, not just a better fighter.

Lunes na Lunes. Hay. ADHD na ba to o burnout?

Since this morning, I’ve been struggling to focus at work, and it’s weird because I just had a restful weekend. It’s only Monday but I already feel restless.

Hindi naman sa ayaw ko ang trabaho. It’s more like my brain keeps searching for something exciting. Feels like my body needs some kind of adrenaline rush.

It’s as if my mind is saying, “This isn’t enough. Find something more stimulating.”

The strange part is that I don’t necessarily feel tired. I just feel under-stimulated and it’s making it hard to concentrate.

Topic namin to sa long road trip. Napaisip lang ako: serial killers rely on staying under the radar. Baka hindi sila uubra sa Pinas dahil sa built-in human CCTV, mga kapitbahay na alam kung sino ang dumaan, anong oras ka umuwi, at pati ulam nyo. Haha

Ever since I was a kid hanggang magkatrabaho, I’ve always been boyish. My clothes, the way I walk, how I carry myself and even my hobbies have always been more male-oriented. Even my work now requires me to be dominant and assertive most of the time.

Maybe because panganay ako na babae, pinalaki ng striktong tatay na sundalo at maagang naulila sa ina?

The funny thing is… I don’t actually feel masculine.

Deep inside, I know I’m very much a woman. I like wearing dresses, dressing up, and feeling pretty. I can also be soft and submissive in a relationship. But when I try to be more “girly” in everyday life, it feels awkward, almost like I’m acting instead of just being myself.

I see women who naturally have that soft, feminine energy, and I honestly wonder how they do it.

I don’t want to suddenly become a Barbie doll or force a personality that isn’t me. I just want to embrace my feminine side in a way that feels natural, not like I’m trying too hard.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you become more feminine without losing who you are?