u/According_Spot1741

TW : mention of drug use, addiction, and verbal abuse will be used in this post.

I 19F have a rocky relationship with my mother, Ever since I was a kid she constantly chose drugs over me. She would often take me on the runs to go get them, take me inside the trap houses, and even go as far as doing the drugs in front of me. ever since she had me she abused drugs, but my earliest memory of this all is age 6. My mother would often be so high on meth she’d sleep almost 24 hours a day, leading me to fend and care for myself such as cooking my own meals (even often for the both of us), caring for our animals, and doing basic home chores.

Around age 8 is when things really started to get worse. She homeschooled me mainly due to not being able to afford it, But part of me wonders now that i’m older if she did this so I wouldn’t have peers or anyone to talk to about my home situation. Keep in mind I didn’t really have a relationship or anything with other family besides my grandmother and grandfather due to my mothers habits and situation, so I was always very isolated. Around this age she started to abuse more and more, leading her to become more incapable of being a mother. By this point in my life I felt as if I were the mother constantly taking care of myself, The home, Animals, And cooking for myself and putting myself in bed at night, She would always either be asleep or locked in her bedroom doing the drugs or talking to men.

My mother has always been unemployed living off of SSI and her parents giving her loans, But as her drug use became worse funds got lower. eventually leading us to move in with my grandmother, my grandmother isn’t the best in health or mental state so she never really understood what was going on or the condition my mother was in. Still to this day she doesn’t understand it all and I feel shamed to tell her who her daughter really is and the trauma i’ve been through, Mainly because I fear it will be too much for her to process and handle. During this move in I began realizing and processing more of what my mother was doing, which grew a heavy shift in my opinion, respect, and even obedience for her, which led me to not listen to her and continue to do things for her around the home. during this time is when she really started to view me differently and grew a hatred for me almost.

Flash forward to my high school years (still homeschooled) I began to express my feelings to her about how her actions and choices made me feel, all I ever got back as a response was her cussing me out, calling me names, and telling me I was a bad kid and caused nothing but trouble for her. After I graduated I enrolled in college (culinary school) and got a job, None of which I had any support from my mother in.

On june 1st my mother left the home to go to her father’s house to do yard work which she does frequently to make money as she’s unemployed and no longer receives SSI, she had told me she would only be gone for a few days and still today, she has been gone. This has led to me becoming my grandmothers primary caretaker as she was the one doing so before she left, and between college and my job it’s been tough handling all of this, I texted my mother on friday asking when she would be home to which she replied ‘’I don’t know’’ I began to tell her it’s crazy she’s been gone for a month and expressed to her how stressful this all was and I don’t have the necessary time in my schedule to take care of my grandma and she just left me with that responsibility along with the fact she’s my mom and I wish she would come back, She then replied by telling me I am 19 and i’m not a child and she no longer needs to be my parent. This has me a little confused considering her parents still support her, pay for her existence, and provide her a place to stay. granted I do also live here but I do pay rent and pay for my own needs and everything else, I also wouldn’t be living here if it wasn’t for my concern over my grandma. My mother has basically alluded to the fact she isn’t coming back until she wants to because I ‘’treat her like shit’’ and need a wake up call. I at this point am a little stuck and not sure the best way to go about this. I do want to cut her off, But part of me still holds on to what our relationship could be, despite all of the trauma it’s given me.

She still constantly shames me, Tells me I’m not good enough, And always twists the knife. This does leave a mark because growing up, I took along the role of caring for her when she couldn’t be the mother I needed. I never told anyone about my situation to put her in jeopardy, And i’ve always tried my damndest to give her grace despite the fact my heart feels like it’s on fire.

Any advice, Wake up calls, Harsh truth, Or sharing of your similar stories would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling and very much in my head about all of this and I really would appreciate anyone who can offer anything as far as advice, Or even just someone to let me know it gets better. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW : mention of drug use, addiction, and verbal abuse will be used in this post.

I 19F have a rocky relationship with my mother, Ever since I was a kid she constantly chose drugs over me. She would often take me on the runs to go get them, take me inside the trap houses, and even go as far as doing the drugs in front of me. ever since she had me she abused drugs, but my earliest memory of this all is age 6. My mother would often be so high on meth she’d sleep almost 24 hours a day, leading me to fend and care for myself such as cooking my own meals (even often for the both of us), caring for our animals, and doing basic home chores.

Around age 8 is when things really started to get worse. She homeschooled me mainly due to not being able to afford it, But part of me wonders now that i’m older if she did this so I wouldn’t have peers or anyone to talk to about my home situation. Keep in mind I didn’t really have a relationship or anything with other family besides my grandmother and grandfather due to my mothers habits and situation, so I was always very isolated. Around this age she started to abuse more and more, leading her to become more incapable of being a mother. By this point in my life I felt as if I were the mother constantly taking care of myself, The home, Animals, And cooking for myself and putting myself in bed at night, She would always either be asleep or locked in her bedroom doing the drugs or talking to men.

My mother has always been unemployed living off of SSI and her parents giving her loans, But as her drug use became worse funds got lower. eventually leading us to move in with my grandmother, my grandmother isn’t the best in health or mental state so she never really understood what was going on or the condition my mother was in. Still to this day she doesn’t understand it all and I feel shamed to tell her who her daughter really is and the trauma i’ve been through, Mainly because I fear it will be too much for her to process and handle. During this move in I began realizing and processing more of what my mother was doing, which grew a heavy shift in my opinion, respect, and even obedience for her, which led me to not listen to her and continue to do things for her around the home. during this time is when she really started to view me differently and grew a hatred for me almost.

Flash forward to my high school years (still homeschooled) I began to express my feelings to her about how her actions and choices made me feel, all I ever got back as a response was her cussing me out, calling me names, and telling me I was a bad kid and caused nothing but trouble for her. After I graduated I enrolled in college (culinary school) and got a job, None of which I had any support from my mother in.

On june 1st my mother left the home to go to her father’s house to do yard work which she does frequently to make money as she’s unemployed and no longer receives SSI, she had told me she would only be gone for a few days and still today, she has been gone. This has led to me becoming my grandmothers primary caretaker as she was the one doing so before she left, and between college and my job it’s been tough handling all of this, I texted my mother on friday asking when she would be home to which she replied ‘’I don’t know’’ I began to tell her it’s crazy she’s been gone for a month and expressed to her how stressful this all was and I don’t have the necessary time in my schedule to take care of my grandma and she just left me with that responsibility along with the fact she’s my mom and I wish she would come back, She then replied by telling me I am 19 and i’m not a child and she no longer needs to be my parent. This has me a little confused considering her parents still support her, pay for her existence, and provide her a place to stay. granted I do also live here but I do pay rent and pay for my own needs and everything else, I also wouldn’t be living here if it wasn’t for my concern over my grandma. My mother has basically alluded to the fact she isn’t coming back until she wants to because I ‘’treat her like shit’’ and need a wake up call. I at this point am a little stuck and not sure the best way to go about this. I do want to cut her off, But part of me still holds on to what our relationship could be, despite all of the trauma it’s given me.

She still constantly shames me, Tells me I’m not good enough, And always twists the knife. This does leave a mark because growing up, I took along the role of caring for her when she couldn’t be the mother I needed. I never told anyone about my situation to put her in jeopardy, And i’ve always tried my damndest to give her grace despite the fact my heart feels like it’s on fire.

Any advice, Wake up calls, Harsh truth, Or sharing of your similar stories would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling and very much in my head about all of this and I really would appreciate anyone who can offer anything as far as advice, Or even just someone to let me know it gets better. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW : mention of drug use, addiction, and verbal abuse will be used in this post.

I 19F have a rocky relationship with my mother, Ever since I was a kid she constantly chose drugs over me. She would often take me on the runs to go get them, take me inside the trap houses, and even go as far as doing the drugs in front of me. ever since she had me she abused drugs, but my earliest memory of this all is age 6. My mother would often be so high on meth she’d sleep almost 24 hours a day, leading me to fend and care for myself such as cooking my own meals (even often for the both of us), caring for our animals, and doing basic home chores.

Around age 8 is when things really started to get worse. She homeschooled me mainly due to not being able to afford it, But part of me wonders now that i’m older if she did this so I wouldn’t have peers or anyone to talk to about my home situation. Keep in mind I didn’t really have a relationship or anything with other family besides my grandmother and grandfather due to my mothers habits and situation, so I was always very isolated. Around this age she started to abuse more and more, leading her to become more incapable of being a mother. By this point in my life I felt as if I were the mother constantly taking care of myself, The home, Animals, And cooking for myself and putting myself in bed at night, She would always either be asleep or locked in her bedroom doing the drugs or talking to men.

My mother has always been unemployed living off of SSI and her parents giving her loans, But as her drug use became worse funds got lower. eventually leading us to move in with my grandmother, my grandmother isn’t the best in health or mental state so she never really understood what was going on or the condition my mother was in. Still to this day she doesn’t understand it all and I feel shamed to tell her who her daughter really is and the trauma i’ve been through, Mainly because I fear it will be too much for her to process and handle. During this move in I began realizing and processing more of what my mother was doing, which grew a heavy shift in my opinion, respect, and even obedience for her, which led me to not listen to her and continue to do things for her around the home. during this time is when she really started to view me differently and grew a hatred for me almost.

Flash forward to my high school years (still homeschooled) I began to express my feelings to her about how her actions and choices made me feel, all I ever got back as a response was her cussing me out, calling me names, and telling me I was a bad kid and caused nothing but trouble for her. After I graduated I enrolled in college (culinary school) and got a job, None of which I had any support from my mother in.

On june 1st my mother left the home to go to her father’s house to do yard work which she does frequently to make money as she’s unemployed and no longer receives SSI, she had told me she would only be gone for a few days and still today, she has been gone. This has led to me becoming my grandmothers primary caretaker as she was the one doing so before she left, and between college and my job it’s been tough handling all of this, I texted my mother on friday asking when she would be home to which she replied ‘’I don’t know’’ I began to tell her it’s crazy she’s been gone for a month and expressed to her how stressful this all was and I don’t have the necessary time in my schedule to take care of my grandma and she just left me with that responsibility along with the fact she’s my mom and I wish she would come back, She then replied by telling me I am 19 and i’m not a child and she no longer needs to be my parent. This has me a little confused considering her parents still support her, pay for her existence, and provide her a place to stay. granted I do also live here but I do pay rent and pay for my own needs and everything else, I also wouldn’t be living here if it wasn’t for my concern over my grandma. My mother has basically alluded to the fact she isn’t coming back until she wants to because I ‘’treat her like shit’’ and need a wake up call. I at this point am a little stuck and not sure the best way to go about this. I do want to cut her off, But part of me still holds on to what our relationship could be, despite all of the trauma it’s given me.

She still constantly shames me, Tells me I’m not good enough, And always twists the knife. This does leave a mark because growing up, I took along the role of caring for her when she couldn’t be the mother I needed. I never told anyone about my situation to put her in jeopardy, And i’ve always tried my damndest to give her grace despite the fact my heart feels like it’s on fire.

Any advice, Wake up calls, Harsh truth, Or sharing of your similar stories would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling and very much in my head about all of this and I really would appreciate anyone who can offer anything as far as advice, Or even just someone to let me know it gets better. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW : mention of drug use, addiction, and verbal abuse will be used in this post.

I 19F have a rocky relationship with my mother, Ever since I was a kid she constantly chose drugs over me. She would often take me on the runs to go get them, take me inside the trap houses, and even go as far as doing the drugs in front of me. ever since she had me she abused drugs, but my earliest memory of this all is age 6. My mother would often be so high on meth she’d sleep almost 24 hours a day, leading me to fend and care for myself such as cooking my own meals (even often for the both of us), caring for our animals, and doing basic home chores.

Around age 8 is when things really started to get worse. She homeschooled me mainly due to not being able to afford it, But part of me wonders now that i’m older if she did this so I wouldn’t have peers or anyone to talk to about my home situation. Keep in mind I didn’t really have a relationship or anything with other family besides my grandmother and grandfather due to my mothers habits and situation, so I was always very isolated. Around this age she started to abuse more and more, leading her to become more incapable of being a mother. By this point in my life I felt as if I were the mother constantly taking care of myself, The home, Animals, And cooking for myself and putting myself in bed at night, She would always either be asleep or locked in her bedroom doing the drugs or talking to men.

My mother has always been unemployed living off of SSI and her parents giving her loans, But as her drug use became worse funds got lower. eventually leading us to move in with my grandmother, my grandmother isn’t the best in health or mental state so she never really understood what was going on or the condition my mother was in. Still to this day she doesn’t understand it all and I feel shamed to tell her who her daughter really is and the trauma i’ve been through, Mainly because I fear it will be too much for her to process and handle. During this move in I began realizing and processing more of what my mother was doing, which grew a heavy shift in my opinion, respect, and even obedience for her, which led me to not listen to her and continue to do things for her around the home. during this time is when she really started to view me differently and grew a hatred for me almost.

Flash forward to my high school years (still homeschooled) I began to express my feelings to her about how her actions and choices made me feel, all I ever got back as a response was her cussing me out, calling me names, and telling me I was a bad kid and caused nothing but trouble for her. After I graduated I enrolled in college (culinary school) and got a job, None of which I had any support from my mother in.

On june 1st my mother left the home to go to her father’s house to do yard work which she does frequently to make money as she’s unemployed and no longer receives SSI, she had told me she would only be gone for a few days and still today, she has been gone. This has led to me becoming my grandmothers primary caretaker as she was the one doing so before she left, and between college and my job it’s been tough handling all of this, I texted my mother on friday asking when she would be home to which she replied ‘’I don’t know’’ I began to tell her it’s crazy she’s been gone for a month and expressed to her how stressful this all was and I don’t have the necessary time in my schedule to take care of my grandma and she just left me with that responsibility along with the fact she’s my mom and I wish she would come back, She then replied by telling me I am 19 and i’m not a child and she no longer needs to be my parent. This has me a little confused considering her parents still support her, pay for her existence, and provide her a place to stay. granted I do also live here but I do pay rent and pay for my own needs and everything else, I also wouldn’t be living here if it wasn’t for my concern over my grandma. My mother has basically alluded to the fact she isn’t coming back until she wants to because I ‘’treat her like shit’’ and need a wake up call. I at this point am a little stuck and not sure the best way to go about this. I do want to cut her off, But part of me still holds on to what our relationship could be, despite all of the trauma it’s given me.

She still constantly shames me, Tells me I’m not good enough, And always twists the knife. This does leave a mark because growing up, I took along the role of caring for her when she couldn’t be the mother I needed. I never told anyone about my situation to put her in jeopardy, And i’ve always tried my damndest to give her grace despite the fact my heart feels like it’s on fire.

Any advice, Wake up calls, Harsh truth, Or sharing of your similar stories would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling and very much in my head about all of this and I really would appreciate anyone who can offer anything as far as advice, Or even just someone to let me know it gets better. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW : mention of drug use, addiction, and verbal abuse will be used in this post.

I 19F have a rocky relationship with my mother, Ever since I was a kid she constantly chose drugs over me. She would often take me on the runs to go get them, take me inside the trap houses, and even go as far as doing the drugs in front of me. ever since she had me she abused drugs, but my earliest memory of this all is age 6. My mother would often be so high on meth she’d sleep almost 24 hours a day, leading me to fend and care for myself such as cooking my own meals (even often for the both of us), caring for our animals, and doing basic home chores.

Around age 8 is when things really started to get worse. She homeschooled me mainly due to not being able to afford it, But part of me wonders now that i’m older if she did this so I wouldn’t have peers or anyone to talk to about my home situation. Keep in mind I didn’t really have a relationship or anything with other family besides my grandmother and grandfather due to my mothers habits and situation, so I was always very isolated. Around this age she started to abuse more and more, leading her to become more incapable of being a mother. By this point in my life I felt as if I were the mother constantly taking care of myself, The home, Animals, And cooking for myself and putting myself in bed at night, She would always either be asleep or locked in her bedroom doing the drugs or talking to men.

My mother has always been unemployed living off of SSI and her parents giving her loans, But as her drug use became worse funds got lower. eventually leading us to move in with my grandmother, my grandmother isn’t the best in health or mental state so she never really understood what was going on or the condition my mother was in. Still to this day she doesn’t understand it all and I feel shamed to tell her who her daughter really is and the trauma i’ve been through, Mainly because I fear it will be too much for her to process and handle. During this move in I began realizing and processing more of what my mother was doing, which grew a heavy shift in my opinion, respect, and even obedience for her, which led me to not listen to her and continue to do things for her around the home. during this time is when she really started to view me differently and grew a hatred for me almost.

Flash forward to my high school years (still homeschooled) I began to express my feelings to her about how her actions and choices made me feel, all I ever got back as a response was her cussing me out, calling me names, and telling me I was a bad kid and caused nothing but trouble for her. After I graduated I enrolled in college (culinary school) and got a job, None of which I had any support from my mother in.

On june 1st my mother left the home to go to her father’s house to do yard work which she does frequently to make money as she’s unemployed and no longer receives SSI, she had told me she would only be gone for a few days and still today, she has been gone. This has led to me becoming my grandmothers primary caretaker as she was the one doing so before she left, and between college and my job it’s been tough handling all of this, I texted my mother on friday asking when she would be home to which she replied ‘’I don’t know’’ I began to tell her it’s crazy she’s been gone for a month and expressed to her how stressful this all was and I don’t have the necessary time in my schedule to take care of my grandma and she just left me with that responsibility along with the fact she’s my mom and I wish she would come back, She then replied by telling me I am 19 and i’m not a child and she no longer needs to be my parent. This has me a little confused considering her parents still support her, pay for her existence, and provide her a place to stay. granted I do also live here but I do pay rent and pay for my own needs and everything else, I also wouldn’t be living here if it wasn’t for my concern over my grandma. My mother has basically alluded to the fact she isn’t coming back until she wants to because I ‘’treat her like shit’’ and need a wake up call. I at this point am a little stuck and not sure the best way to go about this. I do want to cut her off, But part of me still holds on to what our relationship could be, despite all of the trauma it’s given me.

She still constantly shames me, Tells me I’m not good enough, And always twists the knife. This does leave a mark because growing up, I took along the role of caring for her when she couldn’t be the mother I needed. I never told anyone about my situation to put her in jeopardy, And i’ve always tried my damndest to give her grace despite the fact my heart feels like it’s on fire.

Any advice, Wake up calls, Harsh truth, Or sharing of your similar stories would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling and very much in my head about all of this and I really would appreciate anyone who can offer anything as far as advice, Or even just someone to let me know it gets better. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW : mention of drug use, addiction, and verbal abuse will be used in this post.

I 19F have a rocky relationship with my mother, Ever since I was a kid she constantly chose drugs over me. She would often take me on the runs to go get them, take me inside the trap houses, and even go as far as doing the drugs in front of me. ever since she had me she abused drugs, but my earliest memory of this all is age 6. My mother would often be so high on meth she’d sleep almost 24 hours a day, leading me to fend and care for myself such as cooking my own meals (even often for the both of us), caring for our animals, and doing basic home chores.

Around age 8 is when things really started to get worse. She homeschooled me mainly due to not being able to afford it, But part of me wonders now that i’m older if she did this so I wouldn’t have peers or anyone to talk to about my home situation. Keep in mind I didn’t really have a relationship or anything with other family besides my grandmother and grandfather due to my mothers habits and situation, so I was always very isolated. Around this age she started to abuse more and more, leading her to become more incapable of being a mother. By this point in my life I felt as if I were the mother constantly taking care of myself, The home, Animals, And cooking for myself and putting myself in bed at night, She would always either be asleep or locked in her bedroom doing the drugs or talking to men.

My mother has always been unemployed living off of SSI and her parents giving her loans, But as her drug use became worse funds got lower. eventually leading us to move in with my grandmother, my grandmother isn’t the best in health or mental state so she never really understood what was going on or the condition my mother was in. Still to this day she doesn’t understand it all and I feel shamed to tell her who her daughter really is and the trauma i’ve been through, Mainly because I fear it will be too much for her to process and handle. During this move in I began realizing and processing more of what my mother was doing, which grew a heavy shift in my opinion, respect, and even obedience for her, which led me to not listen to her and continue to do things for her around the home. during this time is when she really started to view me differently and grew a hatred for me almost.

Flash forward to my high school years (still homeschooled) I began to express my feelings to her about how her actions and choices made me feel, all I ever got back as a response was her cussing me out, calling me names, and telling me I was a bad kid and caused nothing but trouble for her. After I graduated I enrolled in college (culinary school) and got a job, None of which I had any support from my mother in.

On june 1st my mother left the home to go to her father’s house to do yard work which she does frequently to make money as she’s unemployed and no longer receives SSI, she had told me she would only be gone for a few days and still today, she has been gone. This has led to me becoming my grandmothers primary caretaker as she was the one doing so before she left, and between college and my job it’s been tough handling all of this, I texted my mother on friday asking when she would be home to which she replied ‘’I don’t know’’ I began to tell her it’s crazy she’s been gone for a month and expressed to her how stressful this all was and I don’t have the necessary time in my schedule to take care of my grandma and she just left me with that responsibility along with the fact she’s my mom and I wish she would come back, She then replied by telling me I am 19 and i’m not a child and she no longer needs to be my parent. This has me a little confused considering her parents still support her, pay for her existence, and provide her a place to stay. granted I do also live here but I do pay rent and pay for my own needs and everything else, I also wouldn’t be living here if it wasn’t for my concern over my grandma. My mother has basically alluded to the fact she isn’t coming back until she wants to because I ‘’treat her like shit’’ and need a wake up call. I at this point am a little stuck and not sure the best way to go about this. I do want to cut her off, But part of me still holds on to what our relationship could be, despite all of the trauma it’s given me.

She still constantly shames me, Tells me I’m not good enough, And always twists the knife. This does leave a mark because growing up, I took along the role of caring for her when she couldn’t be the mother I needed. I never told anyone about my situation to put her in jeopardy, And i’ve always tried my damndest to give her grace despite the fact my heart feels like it’s on fire.

How does this work out? Any advice, Wake up calls, Harsh truth, Or sharing of your similar stories would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling and very much in my head about all of this and I really would appreciate anyone who can offer anything as far as advice, Or even just someone to let me know it gets better. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

https://www.reddit.com/r/trashy/s/Wg7oRGfwBW
this is another post i made with the videos. Any support or even commentary would be appreciated during this time as it’s been difficult.

https://www.reddit.com/r/trashy/s/Wg7oRGfwBW - in another community i posted this video of my mother cursing me out, and saying slurs to me at age 11. At 19, I have gotten the courage to cut her off.

am i wrong for wanting to cut my mother off?

TW - mention of substance abuse will be in this post.

I am 19F and am looking for support, advice, direction, maybe even a wake up call on how to handle this situation with my mother. I’m in disbelief, I’m hurt, Shocked, all of the feelings.

Ever since around age 6 my mom had begun to treat me differently and almost as if I wasn’t a child let alone hers. My mom was a stay at home mom and I am the only child, My mother would sleep almost all day and only ever be awake during ungodly hours of the night, Which in return made me grow up way faster then I should’ve, Leading me to learn to cook for myself, Take care of myself, And much more, During around age 8 I started to uncover her lies and secrets and abuse of drugs, To the point she would even take me on the runs to get them, and often do them in front of me. as a kid I didn’t really understand, But It did alter my feelings for her heavily in which I started not listening to her and obeying her, Which started her negative opinion on me and almost a hatred for me.

My entire childhood leading up until my teenage years she continued to choose drugs over me, These drugs made her incapable of taking care of daily chores and things that needed to be done, Getting me to places I needed to be on time, granted I was homeschooled so she had a big advantage there. From ages 10-16 I felt as if I was the mother, Constantly cooking meals for the both of us, Cleaning the entire house, Taking care of the animals, and so much more. But all of this was never enough for her, She’d constantly criticize everything i did and if it wasn’t to her liking, She would punish me by taking my phone or tv, Or certain privileges.

To this day, She still partakes in drugs after trying to get her help and off of them, She denies all of it. It want until 18 I finally let her know that I knew all of her secrets and the fact drugs allowed her to be a present yet absent mother, but her response is I was a difficult child and disrespected her, So she was teaching me a lesson.

Despite all of this, I still love and care for her so i’ve never walked away or cut her off, It’s a tough situation to be in. Fast forward to 2025, Me, My mother, And grandmother are living together due to the fact my mother doesn’t have her own place, She’s never really had a job or anything of her own and relies on other people, I stay here because I take care of my grandmother. Here’s where the story really starts to take a turn and where I am having a hard time coming to terms with all of it.

June 1st she left the home to go to her dads house, She often goes there to do little jobs and make money, she told me she would be back within a week or so, But after a whole month of asking her when she’d be back she basically tells me she doesn’t know. She has basically abandoned my life and when I mention this to her she flips the script, I have attached screenshots below of our conversation, The biggest thing that’s getting me is I treat her badly, And i’m not a good person, When i feel i’ve taken care of her since i was a child. It’s really hard to understand this all and if anyone can offer advice or help me come to terms with the best decision i’d really appreciate it, do i cut her off? Should i continue feeling guilty or bad?

Yesterday, After a month of her being gone i texted asking when she’d be back, I do work, and go to school so staying home more to take care of my grandmother can be challenging, she replied with she didn’t know and why should she come home if we treat her like shit, which i really don’t understand where that came from, she lives here free and has no bills or even responsibilities. she then lashed out on me saying im 19 and she doesn’t need to be a parent anymore, Which all i asked for was her to be home and be around us instead of abandoning us.

Today, I texted her asking for the log in to our electricity provider account, as in the next few days if it isn’t paid will be cut off, her mother gives her the card info to pay this when it’s due, so she’s in charge of it and has been for awhile, Well she denied giving the log in and said she wasn’t worried about it and told me i’m acting like a child when im really trying to keep up with the bills and payments now since her absence of a month.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW - mention of substance abuse will be in this post.

I am 19F and am looking for support, advice, direction, maybe even a wake up call on how to handle this situation with my mother. I’m in disbelief, I’m hurt, Shocked, all of the feelings.

Ever since around age 6 my mom had begun to treat me differently and almost as if I wasn’t a child let alone hers. My mom was a stay at home mom and I am the only child, My mother would sleep almost all day and only ever be awake during ungodly hours of the night, Which in return made me grow up way faster then I should’ve, Leading me to learn to cook for myself, Take care of myself, And much more, During around age 8 I started to uncover her lies and secrets and abuse of drugs, To the point she would even take me on the runs to get them, and often do them in front of me. as a kid I didn’t really understand, But It did alter my feelings for her heavily in which I started not listening to her and obeying her, Which started her negative opinion on me and almost a hatred for me.

My entire childhood leading up until my teenage years she continued to choose drugs over me, These drugs made her incapable of taking care of daily chores and things that needed to be done, Getting me to places I needed to be on time, granted I was homeschooled so she had a big advantage there. From ages 10-16 I felt as if I was the mother, Constantly cooking meals for the both of us, Cleaning the entire house, Taking care of the animals, and so much more. But all of this was never enough for her, She’d constantly criticize everything i did and if it wasn’t to her liking, She would punish me by taking my phone or tv, Or certain privileges.

To this day, She still partakes in drugs after trying to get her help and off of them, She denies all of it. It want until 18 I finally let her know that I knew all of her secrets and the fact drugs allowed her to be a present yet absent mother, but her response is I was a difficult child and disrespected her, So she was teaching me a lesson.

Despite all of this, I still love and care for her so i’ve never walked away or cut her off, It’s a tough situation to be in. Fast forward to 2025, Me, My mother, And grandmother are living together due to the fact my mother doesn’t have her own place, She’s never really had a job or anything of her own and relies on other people, I stay here because I take care of my grandmother. Here’s where the story really starts to take a turn and where I am having a hard time coming to terms with all of it.

June 1st she left the home to go to her dads house, She often goes there to do little jobs and make money, she told me she would be back within a week or so, But after a whole month of asking her when she’d be back she basically tells me she doesn’t know. She has basically abandoned my life and when I mention this to her she flips the script, I can’t attach photos so i’ll sum up the convo, i texted asking when she’d be home and she replied she didn’t know, and why should she come home to someone who treats her like a dog and shit, to which i replied i didn’t treat her that way and expressed how my whole childhood i took care of her, after she then sent a photo of a kitchenaid mixer which i had been wanting for years as my passion is baking, and she bought it for her dad with the money she’s making. she also told me as im 19 she doesn’t need to be a parent, to which i replied she’s an adult and her parents support her, and im not even asking for support, just her to be here. The biggest thing that’s getting me is I treat her badly, And i’m not a good person, When i feel i’ve taken care of her since i was a child. It’s really hard to understand this all and if anyone can offer advice or help me come to terms with the best decision i’d really appreciate it, do i cut her off? Should i continue feeling guilty or bad?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW - mention of substance abuse will be in this post.

I am 19F and am looking for support, advice, direction, maybe even a wake up call on how to handle this situation with my mother. I’m in disbelief, I’m hurt, Shocked, all of the feelings.

Ever since around age 6 my mom had begun to treat me differently and almost as if I wasn’t a child let alone hers. My mom was a stay at home mom and I am the only child, My mother would sleep almost all day and only ever be awake during ungodly hours of the night, Which in return made me grow up way faster then I should’ve, Leading me to learn to cook for myself, Take care of myself, And much more, During around age 8 I started to uncover her lies and secrets and abuse of drugs, To the point she would even take me on the runs to get them, and often do them in front of me. as a kid I didn’t really understand, But It did alter my feelings for her heavily in which I started not listening to her and obeying her, Which started her negative opinion on me and almost a hatred for me.

My entire childhood leading up until my teenage years she continued to choose drugs over me, These drugs made her incapable of taking care of daily chores and things that needed to be done, Getting me to places I needed to be on time, granted I was homeschooled so she had a big advantage there. From ages 10-16 I felt as if I was the mother, Constantly cooking meals for the both of us, Cleaning the entire house, Taking care of the animals, and so much more. But all of this was never enough for her, She’d constantly criticize everything i did and if it wasn’t to her liking, She would punish me by taking my phone or tv, Or certain privileges.

To this day, She still partakes in drugs after trying to get her help and off of them, She denies all of it. It want until 18 I finally let her know that I knew all of her secrets and the fact drugs allowed her to be a present yet absent mother, but her response is I was a difficult child and disrespected her, So she was teaching me a lesson.

Despite all of this, I still love and care for her so i’ve never walked away or cut her off, It’s a tough situation to be in. Fast forward to 2025, Me, My mother, And grandmother are living together due to the fact my mother doesn’t have her own place, She’s never really had a job or anything of her own and relies on other people, I stay here because I take care of my grandmother. Here’s where the story really starts to take a turn and where I am having a hard time coming to terms with all of it.

June 1st she left the home to go to her dads house, She often goes there to do little jobs and make money, she told me she would be back within a week or so, But after a whole month of asking her when she’d be back she basically tells me she doesn’t know. She has basically abandoned my life and when I mention this to her she flips the script, I can’t attach photos so i’ll sum up the convo, i texted asking when she’d be home and she replied she didn’t know, and why should she come home to someone who treats her like a dog and shit, to which i replied i didn’t treat her that way and expressed how my whole childhood i took care of her, after she then sent a photo of a kitchenaid mixer which i had been wanting for years as my passion is baking, and she bought it for her dad with the money she’s making. she also told me as im 19 she doesn’t need to be a parent, to which i replied she’s an adult and her parents support her, and im not even asking for support, just her to be here. The biggest thing that’s getting me is I treat her badly, And i’m not a good person, When i feel i’ve taken care of her since i was a child. It’s really hard to understand this all and if anyone can offer advice or help me come to terms with the best decision i’d really appreciate it, do i cut her off? Should i continue feeling guilty or bad?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW - mention of substance abuse will be in this post.

I am 19F and am looking for support, advice, direction, maybe even a wake up call on how to handle this situation with my mother. I’m in disbelief, I’m hurt, Shocked, all of the feelings.

Ever since around age 6 my mom had begun to treat me differently and almost as if I wasn’t a child let alone hers. My mom was a stay at home mom and I am the only child, My mother would sleep almost all day and only ever be awake during ungodly hours of the night, Which in return made me grow up way faster then I should’ve, Leading me to learn to cook for myself, Take care of myself, And much more, During around age 8 I started to uncover her lies and secrets and abuse of drugs, To the point she would even take me on the runs to get them, and often do them in front of me. as a kid I didn’t really understand, But It did alter my feelings for her heavily in which I started not listening to her and obeying her, Which started her negative opinion on me and almost a hatred for me.

My entire childhood leading up until my teenage years she continued to choose drugs over me, These drugs made her incapable of taking care of daily chores and things that needed to be done, Getting me to places I needed to be on time, granted I was homeschooled so she had a big advantage there. From ages 10-16 I felt as if I was the mother, Constantly cooking meals for the both of us, Cleaning the entire house, Taking care of the animals, and so much more. But all of this was never enough for her, She’d constantly criticize everything i did and if it wasn’t to her liking, She would punish me by taking my phone or tv, Or certain privileges.

To this day, She still partakes in drugs after trying to get her help and off of them, She denies all of it. It want until 18 I finally let her know that I knew all of her secrets and the fact drugs allowed her to be a present yet absent mother, but her response is I was a difficult child and disrespected her, So she was teaching me a lesson.

Despite all of this, I still love and care for her so i’ve never walked away or cut her off, It’s a tough situation to be in. Fast forward to 2025, Me, My mother, And grandmother are living together due to the fact my mother doesn’t have her own place, She’s never really had a job or anything of her own and relies on other people, I stay here because I take care of my grandmother. Here’s where the story really starts to take a turn and where I am having a hard time coming to terms with all of it.

June 1st she left the home to go to her dads house, She often goes there to do little jobs and make money, she told me she would be back within a week or so, But after a whole month of asking her when she’d be back she basically tells me she doesn’t know. She has basically abandoned my life and when I mention this to her she flips the script, I can’t attach photos so i’ll sum up the convo, i texted asking when she’d be home and she replied she didn’t know, and why should she come home to someone who treats her like a dog and shit, to which i replied i didn’t treat her that way and expressed how my whole childhood i took care of her, after she then sent a photo of a kitchenaid mixer which i had been wanting for years as my passion is baking, and she bought it for her dad with the money she’s making. she also told me as im 19 she doesn’t need to be a parent, to which i replied she’s an adult and her parents support her, and im not even asking for support, just her to be here. The biggest thing that’s getting me is I treat her badly, And i’m not a good person, When i feel i’ve taken care of her since i was a child. It’s really hard to understand this all and if anyone can offer advice or help me come to terms with the best decision i’d really appreciate it, do i cut her off? Should i continue feeling guilty or bad?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

TW - mention of substance abuse will be in this post.

I am 19F and am looking for support, advice, direction, maybe even a wake up call on how to handle this situation with my mother. I’m in disbelief, I’m hurt, Shocked, all of the feelings.

Ever since around age 6 my mom had begun to treat me differently and almost as if I wasn’t a child let alone hers. My mom was a stay at home mom and I am the only child, My mother would sleep almost all day and only ever be awake during ungodly hours of the night, Which in return made me grow up way faster then I should’ve, Leading me to learn to cook for myself, Take care of myself, And much more, During around age 8 I started to uncover her lies and secrets and abuse of drugs, To the point she would even take me on the runs to get them, and often do them in front of me. as a kid I didn’t really understand, But It did alter my feelings for her heavily in which I started not listening to her and obeying her, Which started her negative opinion on me and almost a hatred for me.

My entire childhood leading up until my teenage years she continued to choose drugs over me, These drugs made her incapable of taking care of daily chores and things that needed to be done, Getting me to places I needed to be on time, granted I was homeschooled so she had a big advantage there. From ages 10-16 I felt as if I was the mother, Constantly cooking meals for the both of us, Cleaning the entire house, Taking care of the animals, and so much more. But all of this was never enough for her, She’d constantly criticize everything i did and if it wasn’t to her liking, She would punish me by taking my phone or tv, Or certain privileges.

To this day, She still partakes in drugs after trying to get her help and off of them, She denies all of it. It want until 18 I finally let her know that I knew all of her secrets and the fact drugs allowed her to be a present yet absent mother, but her response is I was a difficult child and disrespected her, So she was teaching me a lesson.

Despite all of this, I still love and care for her so i’ve never walked away or cut her off, It’s a tough situation to be in. Fast forward to 2025, Me, My mother, And grandmother are living together due to the fact my mother doesn’t have her own place, She’s never really had a job or anything of her own and relies on other people, I stay here because I take care of my grandmother. Here’s where the story really starts to take a turn and where I am having a hard time coming to terms with all of it.

June 1st she left the home to go to her dads house, She often goes there to do little jobs and make money, she told me she would be back within a week or so, But after a whole month of asking her when she’d be back she basically tells me she doesn’t know. She has basically abandoned my life and when I mention this to her she flips the script, I can’t attach photos so i’ll sum up the convo, i texted asking when she’d be home and she replied she didn’t know, and why should she come home to someone who treats her like a dog and shit, to which i replied i didn’t treat her that way and expressed how my whole childhood i took care of her, after she then sent a photo of a kitchenaid mixer which i had been wanting for years as my passion is baking, and she bought it for her dad with the money she’s making. she also told me as im 19 she doesn’t need to be a parent, to which i replied she’s an adult and her parents support her, and im not even asking for support, just her to be here. The biggest thing that’s getting me is I treat her badly, And i’m not a good person, When i feel i’ve taken care of her since i was a child. It’s really hard to understand this all and if anyone can offer advice or help me come to terms with the best decision i’d really appreciate it, do i cut her off? Should i continue feeling guilty or bad?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.