Broke up after 4.5 years, devastated
So it happened... My bf decided to break up after 4.5 years. Reason? "We're too different" and "It won't work". We're both 33yo
I had a post back in january (which unfortunately I deleted :( ) when he raised this for the first time. I proposed we should get some couple's therapy and he should also get therapy on his side because I feel he's burnout and leaning into depression. He refused any help, not only for us as a couple but for himself too. just took no and sticked with it..
IMO: we were not completely different. Yes, some stuff are different (especially culturally since I'm the foreigner in his country), but hobbies wise we're close, goals wise I thought we're close. we just didn't get to practice any of our hobbies last year..
For context, 2025 was a rough year for us. I lost my job for 6 months, he was overworked (and still is). He took refuge in sitting in bed after work basically every day... instead of dunno, let's do stuff around the house, play boardgames/ videogames/ watch something.
Saturday he decided to break up, and left swiftly to his parents for a day...
I was devastated. I feel so heavy right now, like, i can barely walk I feel I have to drag the entire world just to move. I cried, a lot. And at random times (see something in the house that remembers a moment, e.g. when we picked the bathroom tiles, cry). Can't eat, can't focus, can barely work...
We still have to live together for a month until I manage to move out. We had a trip to Rome planned for the end of May but had to cancel it as I can't afford the hotel alone tho I'd love to go somewhere to get some distance and put my thoughts together. Can't even visit family because they're 15+ hours flight away which are also crazy expensive and I have to save every cent for the move.
Haven't told anyone yet but planning this week to tell family & friends, and will probably have a couple of friends around to help this summer. Once I move out I'll probably look into therapy too
I feel like a failure now and starting from zero scares the shit out of me. dunno what to do, where to go, how to approach "the new life" anymore. heck i won't even who to bike with