u/Certain-Working1864

BPD is often described as a condition caused by long-term trauma, and seems to share many of the same symptoms of C-PTSD. Is C-PTSD just a rebrand of BPD, or are they different?

Do job fairs exist here for people who aren’t affiliated with the colleges? I feel like if we don’t have one, there should be one where all are welcome. Including students and alumni.

I want to see if my face appears in any videos posted by other people online, like Meta Glasses videos, rideshare recordings, or if I was in a frame while someone filmed around me. I would want searches to go beyond thumbnails and stills.

There are tools being advertised that can help with this. Are they worth it, though? If they’re paid I don’t want to waste money and if they’re free, I don’t want to waste time.

I believe everyone makes mistakes, and I believe the reason they’re considered mistakes is because they’re outside of our values. If we are fine with what we did, it’s not a mistake. Mistakes don’t define who we are as a person; our values do a much better job of that.

So when I hear advice from OCD professionals saying “just act within your values and you won’t spiral,” that basically sounds like “just don’t make mistakes. Never fuck up. Be perfect.”

I already struggle with perfectionism and intense, constant criticism from others for failing to be perfect (making it that much harder to not be a perfectionist). I’m trying to be okay with not being perfect, and people trained to help those with OCD want to tell me I should strive to not make mistakes.

Hopefully this frustration makes sense.

My boyfriend told me he couldn’t be my only emotional support, that I had to lean on friends too. I agreed with this, it’s too much for him on his own. My therapist at the time said this makes him unsupportive and no one should make me feel like I’m too much.

I talked to the only other friend I had to tell her my boyfriend said he doesn’t want to hear about anything bad going on in my life. She said ”I don’t want to hear about it either so I understand.”

Made more friends. Against multiple therapists in a new therapy program’s advice, I didn’t open up about my issues or seek any kind of support from them for months. Some over a year. Here’s what happened when I finally did:

- The person who considers me one of her best friends hasn’t talked to me in two weeks, after I had a rough few days last month.

- One person was upset that my boyfriend couldn’t take on the responsibility of being there for me.

- One told me it’s time to face the truth that nobody actually cares and therapists did a disservice by telling me otherwise.

The things I needed support for, by the way, were typical. Job troubles, a couple of recent deaths, chronic illness. And I’ve proven that the issue isn’t that my issues are all I talk about; the issue is I mention them at all, ever. Because months of positivity and good vibes go down the drain when I have two bad days in a row after someone literally died.

My most recent therapist was concerned that I had a warped view of reality in thinking I need to develop coping skills that don’t depend on talking to other people. She and the previous one refused to help me with those goals. But people seriously don’t want to hear it, and I’m tired.

So now I’m doing therapy via workbooks and reading about skills because not even a mental health professional wants to hear about my problems

Many of my OCD themes/triggers are real events or whole phases of my life that actually happened, and the OCD tells me that these things will surface or resurface publicly, destroy my reputation, cause judgement and humiliation, and result in me losing my career and relationships.

To me, all of these fears boil down to a fear of accountability and a fear of consequences.

I’ve also been asked in therapy why I think people would judge me or care that much, or what I would say if my friend did the things I did. I think people judge me because I would absolutely judge them harshly for doing those same things, and might not want to associate with them anymore. That made me realize my OCD fears may stem from how judgmental I am, not how judgmental other people are.

Now that I’ve taken a good look at my OCD and examined what needs to change, this sticks out to me. Is the path forward to accept that I could be put on blast for things I did and accept the potential consequences? Or is it to convince myself that no one cares about my mistakes as much as I do, and convince myself that I’m the only one who thinks they’re this big of a deal?

I‘m no longer in therapy (long story short is I can’t afford it anymore and was regressing in therapy for the past couple years I was in it), so I’m recovering solo. EDIT: just trying to explore the pro’s and con’s of potential mindset shifts I could use in recovery.

I’m working on getting my website ready for launch, where I’ll be selling digital products and offering services. In the meantime, I want to get my mailing list going so I have folks who are anticipating my grand opening.

How do you collect email addresses before your website is ready, and where do you find people interested in knowing when you open?

I found his mobile vet services and am wondering if anyone can share experiences, whether they be positive or negative!

I‘m not interested in other vet recommendations at this time. I’m just wanting to know how his vet care is. Thanks!

Casual Clothing: Swansorifinds in Lebanon and The Arc in Philomath

Board Games: Goodwill in Corvallis and Albany

Stuffed Animals: The Arc in Corvallis

Furniture: Habitat for Humanity ReStore in Corvallis and Goodwill in Corvallis

Pet Supplies: Cat’s Meow in Corvallis

Medical Equipment & Scrubs: The Arc in Corvallis

Kids/Baby Stuff: Jack & Jill in Albany, Consignabubble in Corvallis

Kitchen Appliances: Goodwill in Corvallis

Garden: Habitat for Humanity ReStore

Which thrift stores do you go to?

Whenever I take the bus and I’m not leaving from the transit center, it is always late. I rely on public transportation to get to work and I can no longer consider it reliable transportation.

The buses are often 10-15 minutes late. This is enough to make me late for work if I take a bus that would normally get me there 20 minutes before my scheduled start time. because of that, I need to wake up 30-45 minutes earlier to catch an earlier bus, which will also be 10-15 minutes late.

It’s been an issue for a few months now, slowly getting worse. It’s also happening on multiple bus lines, though their routes intersect.

Is anyone else having this problem?

EDIT: for one route, it’s occasionally late by 20 minutes or more

My upstairs neighbor sounds like they’re moving heavy furniture at all hours of the day and some of the night. They aren’t. They’re opening their kitchen drawers, and that’s just how loud it is when the ceiling is paper thin.

So that got me thinking: how many of you are certain your upstairs neighbors are “stomping” or walking in their apartment in a carelessly loud way? As opposed to just living their lives in a building without good sound proofing?

Genuinely looking for thoughts on this.

I’m naturally the kind of person who acknowledges my wrongdoings the moment I’m accused of then, and I apologize with full acknowledgement of what I did and what my impact was. No mention of me or my feelings, no explanations of not meaning harm. I’m also the kind of person who naturally hates themselves and harbors guilt and shame for much longer than anyone is ever upset with me for.

In therapy, I had mentioned that if multiple people are telling me I have an issue with my communication style (I’m autistic), then I’m not going to pretend all of them are lying or wrong. My therapist told me no, they are. You can be the only correct person in a room or wrong people. So I started backing down and changing my responses. Telling people I stand by what I said or did. This has had very poor effects on my social life.

Another example: I have terrible short-term memory and I also have OCD. A common theme with OCD is to wonder if you remembered something correctly. I was told repeatedly in therapy that I need to trust my own memory and not assume that if someone says something happened, that it happened. I was accepting responsibility for things at work that I assumed I must have done, but I genuinely don’t remember them. I remember them differently. So I started standing up for myself - I know what I said. I know what I heard. I know what I saw. But not a single person in my social or professional life has ever backed down. I am always wrong. And of course, once I pull up screenshots to show people that I remembered correctly, I find that am indeed wrong about what I remembered. Which isn’t surprising with my short-term memory loss.

So I’m increasing my self esteem by only taking accountability for things I know I did and things I know are wrong, at the expense of everyone else around me. I’m now being accused of gaslighting and invalidating, and I probably am. When I addressed this in therapy, the therapist doubled down: they are still wrong; they’re gaslighting you. Each and every person in your life is gaslighting you. You are right. You remembered right.” So I’m no longer in therapy because I wasn’t growing.

How do you address when therapy is telling you to be more confident and have a backbone, all the while you’re genuinely doing things wrong?

EDIT: this is not the same therapist in each example. This has been a common theme with the therapists I’ve had recently.

Genuinely looking for thoughts on this.

I’m naturally the kind of person who acknowledges my wrongdoings the moment I’m accused of then, and I apologize with full acknowledgement of what I did and what my impact was. No mention of me or my feelings, no explanations of not meaning harm.

I’m also the kind of person who naturally hates themselves and harbors guilt and shame for much longer than anyone is ever upset with me for.

In therapy, I had mentioned that if multiple people are telling me I have an issue with my communication style (I’m autistic), then I’m not going to pretend all of them are lying or wrong. My therapist told me no, they are. You can be the only correct person in a room or wrong people. So I started backing down and changing my responses. Telling people I stand by what I said or did. This has had very poor effects on my social life.

Another example: I have terrible short-term memory and I also have OCD. A common theme with OCD is to wonder if you remembered something correctly. I was told repeatedly in therapy that I need to trust my own memory and not assume that if someone says something happened, that it happened. I was accepting responsibility for things at work that I assumed I must have done, but I genuinely don’t remember them. I remember them differently. So I started standing up for myself - I know what I said. I know what I heard. I know what I saw. But not a single person in my social or professional life has ever backed down. I am always wrong. And of course, once I pull up screenshots to show people that I remembered correctly, I am indeed wrong about what I remembered.

So I’m increasing my self esteem by only taking accountability for things I know I did and things I know are wrong, at the expense of everyone else around me. I’m now being accused of gaslighting and invalidating, and I probably am. When I addressed this in therapy, the therapist doubled down: they are still wrong; they’re gaslighting you. Each and every person in your life is gaslighting you. You are right. You remembered right.” So I’m no longer in therapy because I wasn’t growing.

How do you address when therapy is telling you to be more confident and have a backbone, all the while you’re genuinely doing things wrong?

EDIT: this is not the same therapist in each example. This has been a common theme with the therapists I’ve had recently.

I’m autistic and struggle heavily with knowing the right amount of words to say and right amount of time to talk. I find that nothing I try is socially acceptable; people get angry if I say too much or too little and I can never get it right. For that reason, I’ve kind of stopped trying to self-regulate how much I talk, because talking less is also unacceptable. People will tell me to talk less and tell me exactly how much I talk, but they hate it when I actually do that.

My new therapist asked me to tell her about a situation that happened this week, and I told her. She then focused on how I talk too much and how I ”monologue”, not the situation. She said she can’t give advice if I’m talking for 45 minutes (it was closer to 5, but I digress). I also thought therapists weren’t supposed to give advice.

This was hurtful because I’m already told I talk too much. This isn’t new or helpful information, and she knows why I talk that much. It just annoys her like it annoys everyone else. And of course, for someone who wants to give advice so badly, she has nothing to offer about how to talk less without making people angry.

I’m torn because on the one hand, I don’t think she was appropriate in how she approached this. She provided feedback I never asked for and that was unrelated to anything I said. And she made it all about how she was annoyed and how she couldn’t talk. On the other hand, the feedback is correct. I do talk too much, and I do monologue. She told me she will ask if she wants more context, and I told her that‘s what everyone else says, but instead they just get pissed off and frustrated that they have to ask for context I didn’t provide.

How do I know when the feedback isn’t appropriate?

EDIT: when I told her what she wanted me to do doesn‘t work outside of therapy and it makes people angry, and when I asked how to practice talking less without making people angry, she told me to just do this for her in therapy. That made me feel like her criticism isn’t constructive but rather I just annoy her

CVS’s own website even says it can be used for these things, but when I go to sign up and make an appointment, it makes me choose a symptom. “none” or “wellness“ aren't options.

How do we set up appointments for wellness care, med refills, and referrals? I just lost my PCP and was told by my insurance company that I can use CVS Virtual Primary Care for these things. but I don’t see how

I’m working on a mocktail recipe blog, and I’m struggling with photos. I can get the lighting just right, but not the photo staging. It takes a lot of time (and honestly, also some money) to add props to each photo. Without them, the photo looks bare and sad no matter what else I do.

Does anyone use AI to add things like props to recipe photos? Or are you all actually laying out baskets of berries and assorted table accessories to include in your photos?

I feel like businesses aren’t utilizing fans or A/C units when they did last year around this time. When I’m looking for a comfortably cool building to get away from the summer heat, it really sucks when it’s just as hot inside as outside. I’m not going to eat or shop in a building that’s too hot.

Anyone else notice buildings around town are uncomfortably warm now?

So many posts in here about losing a lot of weight in a very short amount of time from walking, only to find in the comments that they are also on Ozempic or an equivalent weight loss drug. Some is these post titles even claim they didn’t change their diet, or that “all they did was walk more.”

There’s nothing wrong with taking these medications to lose weight, but these posts set an unrealistic expectation that weight is going to just rapidly melt off of people simply by walking.

I can’t help but notice that sometimes, text descriptions provide information that leaves out the point of the image or video. Like someone might be talking about their dog who’s in the video, but there will be an in-depth text description about the wall paint that is never mentioned in the video, and not much of a description about the dog, the main subject of the video.

At that point, is it still helpful?