u/Majestic_Singer_2411

For me, I think strict parenting and a lot of criticism played a big role. Growing up, there was always a “right” way to behave, and if we did things they didn’t approve of, we were restricted from things we enjoyed.

Looking back, I think I became a high achiever in academics, sports, art, and eventually my career partly because I wanted appreciation, approval, and to avoid criticism. It was like I had to be good at everything to feel worthy. Now, the same perfectionism and high standards that helped me achieve things are making it difficult to feel satisfied or happy, and I struggle with depression because of it.

I’m curious about others here: What do you think shaped your OCPD traits?

I keep having this thought that I should have stayed childless… and then immediately feel horrible guilt because I love my baby so much. She’s adorable and I wouldn’t want a life without her, but I also miss my old life deeply and feel like I’m grieving it.

I go back to work in a few months and I honestly don’t know how I’m going to manage. I used to be a very active, creative person, always doing something. I miss the simple times when it was just me and my husband, relaxing and being on our own. Now everything feels completely different and I’m struggling to accept it.

I’m crying a lot and feel stuck between love and regret.

For those who went through postpartum depression, how did you cope? What helped you get through it? Need advise..

I’m 2 weeks postpartum after a C-section and already struggling with my body image. I know I need to recover first, but I’m not sure when I can start exercising, what I should avoid, and how to slowly get back into fitness. When did you start working out after a C-section, and what helped you?

I’m 2 weeks postpartum after a C-section and developed a lot of dark pigmentation on my belly during my last trimester. Now that my belly has become tighter after delivery, the pigmentation looks even darker and more noticeable.

Did anyone else experience this? Did your belly return to its old color, and how long did it take? Any safe tips or products that helped fade it?

I keep seeing couples on social media who look like they have the perfect relationship, sweet gestures, calm communication, aesthetic daily moments, all perfectly captured on camera. I’m not saying happy couples don’t exist, but how much of this is actually real? Like, when life is happening, who is setting up the camera and recording these “natural” moments? And if a relationship is truly that good, do you feel the need to constantly show it to the world, or is it more about validation?

Curious what others think, how much of this is genuine vs staged?

My husband and I have a loving, healthy marriage, but we come from very different family dynamics. His family is very warm and expressive, while mine is more reserved. They do love us, but they don’t really show it in obvious ways.

Even I’ve always felt a bit of an emotional gap with my own family, but I’ve accepted it because I grew up with it. I understand their nature. But for someone from outside, especially my husband, it’s much harder to accept. At times, he feels neglected or treated differently, and I can see why.

Right now, my parents are staying with us to help with our newborn, and I genuinely need their support. But at the same time, their personality and my husband don’t really get along, which is creating tension at home. I feel like I’m constantly in the middle, trying to keep peace without hurting either side.

For those who’ve dealt with something similar — how do you handle this? How do you balance both sides without damaging your marriage or your relationship with your parents?

Would really appreciate your experiences and advice.

TL;DR: Happy marriage but very different family dynamics — my emotionally reserved parents and my husband don’t get along, and I’m stuck in the middle trying to keep peace while needing their support with a newborn.

UAE is an amazing place to live, but everything here comes with a cost — groceries, dining, entertainment, bills, and even small daily purchases can add up quickly. I’m looking for practical tips that people have learned over time, like whether certain supermarkets have better offers on specific days, the best apps for discounts or cashback, ways to save on groceries, restaurants, shopping, fuel, or utilities.

Basically, those small hacks that make living in Dubai a little more affordable. Would love to hear what actually works for you!

I’m 5 days postpartum after a very long, painful labor that ended in a C-section. Physically and emotionally, I feel completely drained.

I don’t even know if I should be saying this out loud, but I regret being pregnant. If I had known how hard and overwhelming this would feel, I don’t think I would have chosen it. At the same time, I love my baby so much—she’s adorable and innocent, and when I look at her, I feel so much guilt for even having these thoughts.

I can’t stop crying thinking about my old life. The simple things I had with my husband—going to work, coming home, cooking dinner together, watching Netflix, going for late-night drives, spontaneous weekend dates. That life feels so far away now.

I started feeling this way during pregnancy too, like I was tied down and just waiting for it to be over. But now after delivery, it feels even heavier… like I’m tied forever because I’m responsible for a tiny human being 24/7.

I do have support from family, and I know I’m lucky for that. But still, I can’t stop thinking about my life before all of this. Sometimes I even think if I had the chance, I would go back and choose not to have a baby—and then I feel like a terrible person for thinking that.

I really need to hear from people who’ve been through this and came out the other side.

I’ve been struggling with something for a long time and I’m trying to understand if it’s related to OCPD or something else.

I have this strong tendency to take responsibility for solving other people’s problems — family, siblings, friends, anyone who casually shares something with me. It can be anything: relationship issues, financial stress, life decisions… I feel like it becomes my responsibility to fix it.

If I don’t help, I feel guilty — almost like I’m being cruel or abandoning them. I keep thinking “what if something goes wrong and I could have helped?” or “I’ll regret this later.” Because of that, I end up taking on way too much, emotionally and sometimes even financially.

The problem is, it’s exhausting. I get overwhelmed, stressed, and burned out trying to “fix” everything. And when I can’t help, it affects my mental health badly.

What confuses me is that I see other people just listen and move on. They don’t feel responsible for fixing everything, and they seem much more peaceful. I genuinely don’t understand how they do that — it feels almost impossible for me.

Somehow I also feel like people expect me to help, even if they haven’t explicitly said it. I end up sacrificing my time, money, and peace, and still feel like it’s not enough.
I’ve tried to ignore it or step back, but I can’t seem to change this pattern.

Does anyone else experience this? Is this related to OCPD traits, or something else? And if you’ve dealt with this, how did you start setting boundaries or changing this behavior?

I really want to stop feeling this constant responsibility and protect my mental health.

I’ve been struggling with OCPD for a while now, and honestly, I’m feeling really tired of how much it affects my daily life, thoughts, and relationships.

I’ve been trying to understand it better and work on it, but sometimes it just feels overwhelming and never-ending. I was wondering if anyone here has read any books that genuinely helped you understand OCPD and manage it better?

Did any book actually make a difference for you in terms of awareness or practical changes?

I’d really appreciate any recommendations or even personal experiences. At this point, I just want to feel a bit more in control and less drained by it.

I’m close to my due date and feeling really alone in my marriage right now.

My husband comes home around 10:30–11 pm, sometimes even midnight. Ever since I got pregnant, he’s become very serious about working out. He spends about 2 hours at the gym plus ~1 hour total travel only to gym, so most evenings he’s just… not there.

I’ve tried to be reasonable. I’m not asking him to stop going to the gym. I’ve suggested small compromises, like going 5 days instead of 6, reducing workout time a bit, or switching to a closer gym to save travel time. But he says 2 hours is necessary and nearby gyms aren’t up to his standards.

His main argument is that the gym is the only thing helping his mental health. Whenever I bring up coming home earlier, he says things like:
“Do you want me to sit at home stressed or do you want a happy version of me?”

And when I say I need more emotional support during pregnancy, he said:
“Just because you’re pregnant and suffering, you want me to compromise and suffer too - that’s envy.”

He also says I’m being hormonal, dramatic, and that I’m not the only woman who’s been pregnant.

Yes, my parents are currently staying with me, so he keeps saying I’m “not alone.” But I don’t think that replaces emotional support from your partner.

What hurts more is that before pregnancy, he was the one who really wanted a baby. He promised he’d take care of everything and that I just needed to go through the pregnancy. Now when I bring that up, he says I’m blaming him and acting like I didn’t want the baby.
I did want this, but I wanted it as a team. Right now it just feels like I’m doing it alone.

Another issue is that he doesn’t take initiative at home anymore. He says he’ll help if I remind him, but I don’t want to constantly ask. I want him to care enough to notice.
I’m honestly scared about what happens after the baby comes. My parents will leave, I’m working full-time, and I’m worried I’ll be handling everything alone. He says he’ll “adjust” then, but I’m struggling to believe that. He blames me for not trusting him when he says we will sort this out once the baby comes.

Now I’m stuck wondering:
Am I actually overthinking this because of hormones like he says?
Or is it reasonable to expect your partner to be more present and supportive at this stage?
I just feel like I’m getting whatever energy is left of him at the end of the day… and it hurts.

People currently living in the UAE — what’s your long-term plan?

Since we don’t have a pathway to permanent residency or nationality here, I’ve been thinking a lot about the future. As much as life here is comfortable, it also feels temporary.

For those who are planning to eventually move and settle somewhere with PR or citizenship options — how are you approaching it?

Would really appreciate hearing real experiences, plans, or even advice from people who’ve already made the move or are in the process.

I’m due in a few weeks and expecting a baby girl 💕 Before she arrives, I wanted to ask for one parenting tip you think is absolutely essential in the early stage.

I also have a personal concern. Since childhood, I’ve had a strong fear of sleeping alone at night. The only time I’ve felt comfortable is after getting married and sleeping with my husband in a new place. Still can’t sleep alone at night.

I’m not exactly sure why I’m like this. I grew up in a village where adults, especially women, were often anxious about safety at night (fear of thieves, etc.), even though nothing serious really happened. I also watched a lot of horror movies as a kid, and even now those scenes or thoughts come back when I try to sleep alone. I still get vivid scary dreams from things I’ve seen or read.

I’ve learned to manage it by avoiding horror content, but I don’t want my daughter to grow up with the same fears.
For parents who’ve dealt with anxiety or fear like this — is there anything I can do from early childhood to help her feel safe, secure, and not develop these fears?

Would really appreciate your advice 🙏

I’m not sure if this makes sense, but does anyone else feel like their OCPD traits come in waves or “episodes”?

There are periods (weeks or even months) where I feel more in control. I can be flexible, tolerate people better, and live more like a “normal” version of myself. But then suddenly something shifts, and it’s like everything intensifies.

During these phases, my need for control and perfection becomes overwhelming. I get extremely irritated by the people I love, can’t tolerate their habits or behaviors, and end up becoming very rigid and demanding when they’re not doing things in my way. It starts affecting my relationships — more arguments, more frustration, and I feel like I’m the one making things toxic. And the frustration sometimes spirals into depression.

Then after some time (and sometimes therapy and medication), things settle again… until the next cycle.

Is this something others with OCPD experience? Or is it just me? How do you manage these “intense phases” without damaging your relationships?

Hi, trying to figure out the cheapest and easiest way to watch the FIFA World Cup. I currently have an Etisalat plan (322 AED/month) but I’m not sure if it includes any sports channels.

I understand beIN is the official broadcaster in the UAE, but I’m confused about the actual cost (monthly vs full tournament package) and whether it’s better to watch through Etisalat TV, a beIN subscription/app, or any other option.

If anyone in Dubai is already has done this before, could you share what setup you’re using, how much you’re paying, and if it’s worth it or if there are any cheaper alternatives? Also open to suggestions like sports bars if that’s a better option. Thanks!

I’ve been noticing something about myself that I don’t like, but I can’t seem to stop.

I have this constant urge to compete with everyone around me especially friends, family around my same age i guess or younger. It’s not just career. It’s everything… dressing better, being more skilled, doing better in life overall. I’m always trying to improve something, but it doesn’t feel healthy it feels exhausting.

The worst part is how I react internally when someone else does better than me. My brain knows I should feel happy for them, and I genuinely want to be that person… but my instinctive reaction is comparison, discomfort, even jealousy. It makes me feel like a terrible person.

I think a lot of this comes from childhood. I used to be “the best” at things. academics, sports, arts. But as I grew up, I met more talented people, and suddenly I wasn’t #1 anymore. Now as an adult, with social media and a bigger world, it feels like there’s always someone ahead of me and I can’t seem to accept that.

Sometimes I feel like I have no value unless I’m the top one. And when someone close to me grows or succeeds, instead of just feeling inspired, I feel low or even go into depression for a while.

I know this probably comes from something deeper maybe insecurity or an “inner child” thing but I can’t fully understand it or figure out how to fix it.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you deal with it?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how social media has completely rewired our thought processes.

Before Instagram, people used to do things like painting, going for walks, or traveling just for the pure joy of it. But now, it feels like our default setting is always performative. Whenever something happens, the immediate thought is: How do I show this on my stories?

The worst part is the feeling that if you don't post it, the experience was somehow a "waste of time." It’s like a walk or a hobby doesn't count unless an audience sees it. It turns real life into a job where we are just looking for content.
I want to break out of this loop and get back to genuinely living for myself, but it feels like my brain is literally conditioned to think this way now.

Have you guys experienced this? For anyone who successfully broke out of this mindset, how did you practically reprogram your brain to enjoy things "off the grid" again?

Would love to hear your thoughts and advice.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how social media has completely rewired our thought processes.

Before Instagram, people used to do things like painting, going for walks, buying a new dress, or traveling just for the pure joy of it. But now, it feels like our default setting is always performative. Whenever something happens, the immediate thought is: How do I show this on my stories?

The worst part is the feeling that if you don't post it, the experience was somehow a "waste of time." It’s like a walk or a hobby doesn't count unless an audience sees it. It turns real life into a job where we are just looking for content.
I want to break out of this loop and get back to genuinely living for myself, but it feels like my brain is literally conditioned to think this way now.

Have you guys experienced this? For anyone who successfully broke out of this mindset, how did you practically reprogram your brain to enjoy things "off the grid" again?

Would love to hear your thoughts and advice.

Lately I have been feeling like I wish social media was never even created. I miss the time when being bored meant going outside, hanging out with friends or neighbors, just being playful and present. Now boredom just turns into scrolling.

I have been trying to cut down my screen time because honestly, life has started to feel dull. Not because life itself is boring, but because everything gets compared to what I see online.

I have tried all the usual things app locks, timers, even dopamine detox. But it all feels like control and restriction. It takes effort, and it doesn’t feel natural. The weird part is, even though I don’t actually enjoy using these apps, I have somehow trained myself to instinctively grab my phone just to check what’s happening in the world.

So I am wondering if there’s a way to actually lose interest in these apps. Like genuinely get bored of them so there’s no craving in the first place, instead of constantly trying to control my usage.

I know even if I step away, the world won’t go back. Everyone else will still be on their phones. But at least I want to step out of it for myself.

I don’t want to keep comparing my life to unrealistic standards or feel like I need a certain kind of life just because everyone else seems to have it. I don’t want to get trapped in algorithms or feel the need to constantly consume everything that’s happening everywhere.

I just want to live a real, simple life again. Has anyone actually managed to feel this way and come out of it naturally?