u/Possible-Elk-919

Hi, I'm almost 18 and for as long as I can remember, I was always told that I'm too mature for my age. I stopped throwing tantrums like kids at the age of 6, I acted like I was 35 at the age of 8, I was extremely polite, obedient, and independent by age 10. I always pondered about deep stuff and maybe that's one of the reasons why I grew up lonely and had no friends. Life seems way harder now that I'm almost 18. I have never had a job, no friends, I'm a bum who still lives with his parents and is financially dependent on them. I feel so lost like a little kid now and there's nobody to guide me through this. Back when I felt lost as a kid, I'd still push through on my own and had a reason to live (to make my parents proud) but now I genuinely don't know what to do with my life. I don't know why despite being the youngest child in my family, I always acted like a responsible grown-up but now that I'm actually almost an adult, all I ever wish for is to be a kid. I'm not ready for the real world, I'm not ready to be a MAN when I never got to be just a little boy.

I can't wait to see him again. He's so fucking cute 🥺🩵 I keep looking at pics of him and wishing he was mine T^T He's cute, kind, nerdy, geeky, tall... basically perfect in my eyes 🥹🫶 I'll probably be seeing him at uni soon, but I'm so scared to talk to him :,( I JUST WANT THIS BOY TO BE MINEEE. I want to ask him out, but I don't even know if he's in a relationship, if he's gay, or if he'd even be into trans guys T-T Every time we talk though, he's so sweet to me. We worked on a science project together once and I'm really shy, but he always made sure I felt included. He's honestly adorable. He's my first ever real crush. It started off as gender envy, but I seriously think I've fallen for this guy. I want to ask him out so bad but I don't know how to help 😭🥀

Hi, I'm almost 18 and for as long as I can remember, I was always told that I'm too mature for my age. I stopped throwing tantrums like kids at the age of 6, I acted like I was 35 at the age of 8, I was extremely polite, obedient, and independent by age 10. I always pondered about deep stuff and maybe that's one of the reasons why I grew up lonely and had no friends. Life seems way harder now that I'm almost 18. I have never had a job, no friends, I'm a bum who still lives with his parents and is financially dependent on them. I feel so lost like a little kid now and there's nobody to guide me through this. Back when I felt lost as a kid, I'd still push through on my own and had a reason to live (to make my parents proud) but now I genuinely don't know what to do with my life. I don't know why despite being the youngest child in my family, I always acted like a responsible grown-up but now that I'm actually almost an adult, all I ever wish for is to be a kid. I'm not ready for the real world, I'm not ready to be a MAN when I never got to be just a little boy.

There's already 2 generations after us and that makes me feel old fsr

I hate being trans so much wtf I just wan wear cute girly clothes and be a cute femboy without feeling dysphoric all the time T^T

I had a crush on a boy at uni (actually, I don't know if it was a crush or just gender envy but I admired him a LOT). Anyway, he's super cute, tall (probably 5'11 or 6'0) and has curly, fluffy, messy hair. I recently got a haircut similar to his (not because I wanted to copy his style, I've always wanted that type of hair and mine is still a little longer than his unless he grew his hair out a bit over the summer). I think I look like a watered-down, unattractive version of him now lmao T-T What's even weirder is that one of his girl-friends once told me we looked alike back when I still had long, straight hair so I basically look like him now with me new haircut 🫩🥹 I'm going back to uni soon for a computer's course which means I'm probably gonna see him again and I'm kinda nervous mann. I'm both excited and nervous to see him. We have barely ever talked though, I am/was just his unknown secret-admirer cuhh 😩💔

I had a crush on a boy at uni (actually, I don't know if it was a crush or just gender envy but I admired him a LOT). Anyway, he's super cute, tall (probably 5'11 or 6'0) and has curly, fluffy, messy hair. I recently got a haircut similar to his (not because I wanted to copy his style, I've always wanted that type of hair and mine is still a little longer than his unless he grew his hair out a bit over the summer). I think I look like a watered-down, unattractive version of him now lmao T-T What's even weirder is that one of his girl-friends once told me we looked alike back when I still had long, straight hair so I basically look like him now with me new haircut 🫩🥹 I'm going back to uni soon for a computer's course which means I'm probably gonna see him again and I'm kinda nervous mann. I'm both excited and nervous to see him. We have barely ever talked though, I am/was just his unknown secret-admirer cuhh 😩💔

Short men are treated horribly in society. I'm 5'5 short pre everything trans man and I genuinely hate being so short. I feel like even if I eventually transitioned and started passing as a man, I'd still always feel inferior to taller and cis men. (Also women who are taller than me). I feel like a genetic failure, I lost both the gender and height lottery. Both of my parents are tall (5'8 mom and 6'0 dad) which just makes me feel so much worse. My sister is also taller than me (5'8). I'm 17 and I think I'm close to or have reached my final height... and while it's consider normal height for women in my country (average or slightly above average for women), it's extremely below average height for men. I'm short and it makes me want to kms. Just makes me feel worse knowing im trans. I feel like I will always feel insecure and inferior to other men. I will always feel like an imposter for being trans too. Nobody will ever find someone as short as me attractive. They will just see me as a woman no matter what. I'll never be seen as a man. What even is the point in trying so hard? Why couldn't I have been taller? I feel so dysphoric and miserable all the time

It's kinda weird to think about that

I'm so fucking boredd

So it finally felt right. So all my clothes would fit right. I wish I had a soft but deep voice that could silence an entire room. I wish he/him pronouns came naturally to me and I never had to hide who I am because everyone knew that I'm a boy. I wish they just saw me as a boy like every other boy. I wish I could be friends with other boys the way boys are friends with boys. I wish I could have long hair and still nobody question my boyhood or say that I'm any less of a boy. I wish I could wake up tomorrow in a male body, in a body that feels right and should have been mine. Instead I have to fight to exist in a strange body every day. For what? For something I should have always had. Why does nobody understand? I know transitioning and being seen as a boy wouldn't solve all my problems but at least it would give me hope to stick around in this cruel world for some time. I'm aware that being born in a male body wouldn't make me any more of a "real" boy because I know I'm a real boy. I just wish people saw me that way. I just wish I didn't feel like a stranger every time I looked at my body or reflection. It just feels so wrong. It makes no fucking sense why my body doesn't align with the boy that I am, the boy that I was always supposed to be

I hate the fact that I'm getting older but I still feel so behind in life. Growing up, I had severe social anxiety and struggled to talk to people and still do. I was always the lonely awkward loser kid and I'm afraid of turning into a lonely awkward loser adult because I genuinely can't seem to get better. I feel extremely su1cidal all the time. To make it worse... years of social isolation (pretty much my entire life that is) has left me with crippling anxiety, chronic loneliness and feeling alienated from the human race as a whole. I don't know what's normal, I don't know how to feel okay if at all. Hell, I don't even know what being "okay" is? I feel like I missed out on living so much... What even is the point of my existence? I feel nothing... just numbness and this weird throbbing, heavy feeling in my chest. I don't want to feel anything. I don't want to have a future. I'm 17 at the moment but I feel like I'll be the same in the next 5 or 10 years if I continue existing. I'll be the same fucking loser. I'm bad at everything and I can't seem to function like a normal human being. I have been to 2 therapists since last year but nothing seems to change. Honestly I don't even want it to get better anymore, I just want it to be over.

Which is better? I plan on applying for a scholarship to a Canadian university next year that accepts either DET/IELTS or both for admission. My English is intermediate level or somewhat decent although I believe my vocabulary is not proficient enough as much as a native speaker's would be. I'm aware both tests expire in 2 years hence I'll be appearing for it next year. (starting prep 6 months before). I'm extremely confused on whether I should appear for DET or IELTS. I'd appreciate some advice please.

YAEYYY I JUST WANTED TO SHARE MY EXCITEMENT 😆😆