u/Professional_Win3910

Unfortunately I have now tried my 4th SSRI and it has been 13 weeks total on it, and 8 weeks on the highest does and it has not helped at all. I am starting to feel very hopeless that nothing is going to work for me. I read so many success stories of SSRIS helping women through PPD and PPA, and as I am happy for them I am absolutely terrified I will be trapped inside my hellish brain forever. My intrusive thoughts have now made me depressed, I have super low motivation (wonder if this is a side effect of the SSRI), I don't want to do anything and I feel like a walking zombie still being plagued by disgusting thoughts.

Looking for any helpful and hopeful stories.

I am truly am dumbfounded as to how I have not responded to one SSRI. (I also tried lamictal, caplyta, abilify, risperidone,seroquel). I am 9 months post partum, did not have any anxiety,depression, ocd, dark thoughts until I went through pregnancy loss in 2021. I now have two beautiful healthy children, good job, incredible support, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink alcohol anymore, I go to bed at 9(my sleep sucks because of my hypervigelant state), I am in therapy twice a week along with group therapy 1-2 times a week. All my labs came back normal; TSH, folate , b12, CBC, A12, zinc, vitamin d. I am physically very healthy strong, albeit about 25 pounds overweight that I am currently working on. I exercise 4 times a week, walking , weight training, Pilates. I cannot turn off my brain with disgusting suicidal images and thoughts. Sometimes I don’t feel real, I have bizarre thoughts like what is life why am I here? I cannot be present. I cannot focus, I have no motivation, I feel like a walking ghost just going through the motions. I used to be a very social person, and I have no desire to attend events anymore, hang out with friends, all I look forward to is putting my pajamas on and getting into my bed. I used to be such a lively, fun person. I truly don’t know what happened.Can this be untreated adhd issues as well? My psychs will not treat adhd right now despite me inquiring multiple times (even questioning if non stimulant meds can be helpful for me). I truly am at a loss as to nothing is helping me. Post partum depression? Am I crazy? I feel psychotic even though I know I am not, nor have I ever had psychosis. Oh and my psych just keeps telling me “wait it out”, “I’m getting better” when I’m in tears every appt being very clear in my communication that I am not feeling better, good, if anything I feel worse which I didn’t even know was possible, she almost seems annoyed by my presence. I have driven to the crisis center two times now. I am going to politely ask her tomorrow if she can help me or not and if she can’t please refer me to someone who can. I feel so guilty for feeling like this.

I truly am dumbfounded as to how I have not responded to one SSRI. (I also tried lamictal, caplyta, abilify, risperidone,seroquel). I am 9 months post partum, did not have any anxiety,depression, ocd, dark thoughts until I went through pregnancy loss in 2021. I now have two beautiful healthy children, good job, incredible support, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink alcohol anymore, I go to bed at 9(my sleep sucks because of my hypervigelant state), I am in therapy twice a week along with group therapy 1-2 times a week. All my labs came back normal; TSH, folate , b12, CBC, A12, zinc, vitamin d. I am physically very healthy strong, albeit about 25 pounds overweight that I am currently working on. I exercise 4 times a week, walking , weight training, Pilates. I cannot turn off my brain with disgusting suicidal images and thoughts. Sometimes I don’t feel real, I have bizarre thoughts like what is life why am I here? I cannot be present. I cannot focus, I have no motivation, I feel like a walking ghost just going through the motions. I used to be a very social person, and I have no desire to attend events anymore, hang out with friends, all I look forward to is putting my pajamas on and getting into my bed. I used to be such a lively, fun person. I truly don’t know what happened.Can this be untreated adhd issues as well? My psychs will not treat adhd right now despite me inquiring multiple times (even questioning if non stimulant meds can be helpful for me). I truly am at a loss as to nothing is helping me. Post partum depression? Am I crazy? I feel psychotic even though I know I am not, nor have I ever had psychosis. Oh and my psych just keeps telling me “wait it out”, “I’m getting better” when I’m in tears every appt being very clear in my communication that I am not feeling better, good, if anything I feel worse which I didn’t even know was possible, she almost seems annoyed by my presence. I have driven to the crisis center two times now. I am going to politely ask her tomorrow if she can help me or not and if she can’t please refer me to someone who can. I feel so guilty for feeling like this.

Anyone try memantine?

I have posted in her a few times and thank you for everyone who helps me.

Long story short: went most of my life anxiety/depression free until I lost two pregnancies back to back in 2021. After that everything spiraled, intense anxiety, DPDR feeling, intrusive suicidal thoughts that are CONSTANT. The intrusive thoughts sort of calmed down when I was pregnant, but have come back both times with a vengeance after pregnancy. I am now 9 months post-partum with my 2nd and am in the thick of it. They go back and forth to like "you will never get through this do you even want to be here", to "ok I can get through this ". My brain repeats "I don't want to die I dont want to die I don't want to die", Constant back and forth all day. Its as constant loop.

I have ADHD- and no psychiatrist will treat it right now given the nature of my thoughts. I understand that, as I am also nervous to introduce anything that could give me further anxiety. But here is the thing, I have now tired 4 SSRI's, (Zoloft up to 200 mg, Lexapro up to 20 mg, Luvox up to 150 mg , Prozac 80 mg) all in which have not given me relief. I have also tried Clomipramine & Abilify (brief time in 2024), Caplyta for about 6 weeks this year, Risperidone for 8 weeks this year, and I just tried Seroquel and that was god awful for me. Nothing has worked thus far. I am constantly feeling on edge- racy brain, shaking legs, is this anxiety? is this untreated ADHD making it worse?

So anyway. With my background of so many failed medications- do you think it's possible an SNRI could work for me if SSRI didn't? Or do you think I jump to the MAOIS? I am really suffering all day long and all I want is to heal, close this chapter and move on from this. I am in IPP too- therapy 3-4x a week. I am practically praying to God to help me heal at this point.

Currently on my 4th SSRI, 9 weeks in on a high dose and I still have no relief. Why am I resistant to every single SSRI? I have also tried caplyta, risperidone, abilify. Now on seroquel. What is wrong with me? I’m feeling so hopeless.

Anyone have success with Seroquel for intrusive thoughts/depression? Any hope stories would be great.

Please tell me its possible to one day recover. I am begging for any hope stories, truly begging.

Does this help intrusive thoughts? I have constant suicidal intrusive thoughts, and when I say constant, its nonstop rumination. SSRI's have not helped me. Getting really depressed now because of the thoughts.

For those of you who give thanks to ketamine to saving their lives, please share your hope stories here.

I am at my lowest and I am scared and I am fighting for my dear life. Please share any positive stories.

Hello,

Just wondering if lithium has helped your mood? Also, SI thoughts? (Mine are more intrusive but SSRI'S are just not helping me. So there for its a cycle of intrusive SI thoughts, then bad mood, withdrawn, etc. I also never had these conditions until pregnancy loss, and pregnancies that resulted in the birth of my beautiful children, so I believe something drastically changed my brain.

I was just wondering if there has been any success for severe intrusive thoughts - non stop cycling of them (pure ocd). Thank you.

Hello, I have posted here a few times and I want to thank all of you kind people for always offering help. I am 9 months post-partum with my 2nd, and I just still feel like I am so far away from feeling like myself. I have a WONDERFRUL family, and 2 amazing, beautiful and EASY kids who both sleep through the night most of the time. I feel so guilty for having mental health issues, it effing sucks as I never had mental health issues prior to my trauma with my pregnancy losses years ago. I so badly want to feel good again and just move on with my life and be a great mom. SSRI's don't seem to be helping me. (Horrific intrusive thoughts, OCD, anxiety and secondary depression from the intrusive thoughts). I dont do drugs, I avoid alcohol now, I exercise, I eat pretty healthy, I take vitamins, so why am I not getting relief? Could my hormones still be out of whack? (I did not breast feed). Do I just need to be more patient? Any advice would be great.

Hello, I am suffering immensely from horrific intrusive thoughts. SSRI's do not seem to be working for me. I am diagnosed with OCD and severe anxiety as a result of the horrific images. Did this med help your nonstop rumination? (Suicidal themed OCD).

For anyone who had luck with PROZAC, when did you start to feel better?

Hello, I have been suffering immensely from suicidal intrusive thoughts. I do not want to die, I just want these thoughts to ease as they are causing me to be depressed and have immense anxiety. Has this helped ease ones constant obsessive thoughts?

Hello everyone,

In 2020, about when I turned 30, I was driving on a parkway, and I had what felt like almost a panic attack...even though I have never had a panic attack before, it was like I completely spaced out, I immediately had to drive over to the right lane, everything around looked really weird and I thought I was going to pass out. I have always been a confident driver, never scared of parkways or driving so I had no idea what could have triggered that. In late 2021, I had a series of physical trauma happen (pregnancy loss) which causes sudden anxiety diagnosis and then after that, these episodes started occurring more often, almost every time I drive on a parkway now. I almost have to like talk to myself while I am driving to stay focused. It is bad on parkways at nighttime too. I do have untreated ADHD as well (as I am currently being treated for DPDR/OCD INTRUSIVE thoughts), but here are my symptoms:

1-Parkway driving: I have to constantly move my eyes up, down, around, not focused because I can't focus them. When I finally do get relaxed that weird thing happens where I have to break and get over to the right lane because everything around me looks weird. I have this issue with merging to. I also can't focus on the car in front of me too long because again, I get this weird...like seizure but it's not a seizure but a black out of my brain while I am coherent and up. My brain like blanks out.

2-My balance feels off here and there- I bang into things constantly. I get dizzy from when I stand up from a sitting/squatting position. I sometimes feel like I can't walk a straight line.

3-Treadmils. It's as if I can no longer use treadmills at the gym, I feel like I am going to fall off if I don't hold onto the rails while working out, so jogging is off the table for me right now.

4-I get dizzy/feel weird walking into big stores such as grocery store, Costco, BJS. I get very overwhelmed. When I look at clothes with certain patterns in a clothing store- I get disoriented and almost have to stop walking and talking to get my balance and focus again- I grab my head and squint my eyes when this happens.

5-I drive with my visor down even when it's not sunny. And again, I am constantly moving my eyes.

6-When I am talking to someone I feel like both my eyes cannot focus on their face- same with looking at my phone while I am texting.

7- My eyebrows furrow a lot. I have deep 11's - maybe this is something that was always there it just didn't start bothering me until I got older?

8- I feel like when I am outside everything looks weird. I feel like I am in a constant state of DPDR.

Anyone have similar symptoms? I will update when I make my doctor appt.

I have been through hell and back the last 4 years with a horrific theme of OCD, and failed many meds. I started prozac and risperdal two weeks ago, and I certainly am feeling hopeful for the first time in 4 years that I can possibly overcome this. It would be great to hear from anyone who had severe OCD, and anxiety/intrusive thoughts (PURE O), who had success with this medication and what dosage helped them. I am a full time working mom of 2, and I truly am so blessed to have an amazing family who supports or me or else I believe I would be in an even worse place. Thank you!

Hello,

I have been struggling immensely with horrible intrusive s*icidal thoughts. I want to be alive, but these thoughts are every second and it makes me feel hopeless and depressed. I desperately want my life back. These distressing thoughts also cause immense anxiety in which I now have DPDR and feel very detached and not real. Zoloft, Lexapro, Luvox have not helped. So I am praying this one is it.