u/Regular-Message9591

I was once invited to a wedding of someone I knew at high school but hadn't spoken to in maybe a decade.

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The wedding was less than 3 weeks away and it was strange to be invited when I wasn't close with the person, so I mentioned it to a couple of other friends who let me know that they had both been invited and couldn't go. Apparently the bride wanted specific numbers on both bride and groom's side... Based on the timings when they had both been invited, it seemed like the first said no, the second was invited in her place and said no, and THEN I was invited.

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It was a wedding in the middle of nowhere, that would require me taking a day off work, paying for travel a 100 miles away, and also booking a hotel.

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My extremely late invitation also came with a poem, saying that the bride and groom had everything they needed but wanted money for their honeymoon. They put their bank account details right there in the poem 🫠

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Needless to say, I declined.

And it reminded me of the pobs my dad used to put in his porridge. And of the word 'pobs'.

What's a rarely used word that's popped into your head recently?

At what point do you just end friendships?

I've been friends with these two women since we were 10 and 11 years old respectively, and I supported them both through all the absurd emotional rollercoasters of their 20s and even into their 30s.

I was also emotionally immature to be fair, but I always felt like even if I had a real upset - e.g. 5 year long relationship ending while I was traveling away from home - they just kind of gave me a "there, there" or "I'm sorry *sad face*" and left it at that. During that time, one of them even told me that I was ruining the beginning of her new relationship by being upset about mine ending while I was staying at her place.

They are both now in good relationships and I am married. I moved to another country for my husband, where one of them lives, but instead of getting closer, our relationship deteriorated. I personally don't think she took me maturing very well, and she and her fiancée actually tried confronting me one day about my husband, suggesting he doesn't like them because he was busy the handful of times I hung out with them. Bear in mind those times were in the middle of my husband's work day, whereas two of us girls didn't have jobs and one was freelance which is why we were free to meet. I also didn't drive then so we only had one vehicle which my husband used for work, often driving 6 days a week to clients' homes, and my friend seemed surprised that I didn't travel 2 hours (one way) by public transport to go to her apartment more regularly, and then sleep over like I'm 12. I shut her "I don't think he likes us" shit down real fast, citing instances like him taking us all out to dinner to thank them for helping choose my engagement ring and you know, actually having a job...

My other friend has just become less engaged with me now that I'm further away and she's dating, whereas she used to rely on me a lot for emotional support. I'm glad she doesn't need that anymore but it would be nice to still feel cared for when it's not just for her benefit. I'm pregnant with my first child and neither of them really ask me anything about the baby and just say "awww" or similar when I share things like my ultrasound picture. We've been through a lot of emotional upset with my husband's family (learning pretty shocking things about FIL and being ostracised for not letting it be swept under the rug) and again, neither of them check in on me about it but expect me to care if an ex messages them on insta out of the blue.

I have other friends who have disengaged since I moved countries and they're now busy with friends who live closer, despite having formerly been their primary support. One of them I haven't even bothered to tell that I'm 5 months pregnant.

At what point do you stop pretending that you're actually friends and just walk away?

Serial sexual harasser of varying degrees, including harassing me, kissing his other DIL on the mouth, sexually harassing a neighbor and colleague he's known since she's 6... Recently learned he's been visiting prostitutes and massage parlors throughout his 50 year marriage while masquerading as a good Christian family man - like calling people up mornings to preach at them and recite Bible verses...

Making excuses for other people's shitty behavior towards me and my husband (who knew some of his crap and tried to help him get into therapy, who knew MIL cheated years ago and might have a kid with someone else but never told anyone so his family didn't break up) to the point we decided to go NC several months ago.

Since then, he's bad mouthed us both to other family members to the point they've stopped speaking to us without asking us anything about our side of the story. I think that speaks to the level of dysfunction and stress they're dealing with because of him, because if they come and talk to us they may find out more things that upset the narrative they've lived in for so long, and they can't handle it. He's tried turning the only family members we're in touch with against us by spreading lies about us both.

My husband called him out after that, in a long email detailing everything we knew and telling him to get help or he'd never know us again. He must have shown MIL because she had the audacity to contact my husband and ignore every single terrible behavior by FIL, and try to scold her middle-aged son about the language he chose to use 😂

FIL pretended to go on an apology tour but just used the opportunity to spread more lies and manipulations, and continue bad mouthing us. Now a couple of months have passed, he said he was in therapy but is actually just going to a church group, and he wants to talk. He's been doing "very serious hard work" and *he's* ready to talk LOL.

5 decades of bullshit and he thinks a few weeks of going to the same place he's been going to forever, while continuing to actively destroy our other relationships and continuing the behavior that got him here, has magically fixed him.

Meanwhile MIL insists he doesn't actually have a problem, he's just awkward and friendly 😂 WHICH IS IT, GUYS.

Weird question, I know. Does the strength of those muscles make it harder for your uterus to expand, making it feel like there's more pressure where your baby is growing??

There is only so much room in there and I feel, at 23 weeks, like the baby is squishing all my organs 😭

Has anyone else had just slightly odd experiences in the neighborhood market Walmart off Central?

One day, minding my business, and a guy randomly stops me in an aisle and asks me how old I am so I answer, he says he's surprised because I don't look that age. Then it's are you married (I am), do I have any kids (one on the way). If he was trying to pick me up, why are you not giving up when I say I'm married, and asking if I have kids? It gave me the light heebie jeebies. I just said, "Well, have a nice day" and walked off.

Today (yesterday, it's 3am) I'm looking at nail varnish and a man pushes his cart past me from behind then stops super close to reach out across me, pick up a bottle and say how much he loves the color. So I'm like, sure, nice color. Then he's trying to strike up a conversation about nail polish and telling me he's thinking of working on/ painting his nails when he gets home. Like OK, sir, I don't care what you do with your nails, but I do mind you noticing me, and then deciding to interject yourself into my day. It felt creepy, like he wanted attention or for me to be offended by him or something, not that he was just naturally looking at products in the same area as me. Anyway, again I just said, "Well, enjoy your weekend!" and walked away.

I'm naturally friendly and Bedford is a friendly place, which I'm pleased about, but these interactions always seem one step past normal. Anyone else noticing things like this?

Mine is currently, "What do you mean her name is Juniper but we called her June Bug and then that became Bugaboo and then we shortened it to Boo, and now we just call her Butthole?"...

Mine is either a rabbit, an ear of corn, a papaya, a chocolate calzone (??), a women's running shoe (?!), Cinderella's slipper (how big was her foot???), or a large Rocket popsicle...

So basically I have no idea what my baby is as big as.

I'm 21w + 6 and all of a sudden my bump feels actually heavy, as if the baby has put on 2lbs in weight since last week!! It's coincided with my legs feeling much heavier/water retention so I don't know if it's related, or just the next step in pregnancy.

I have nasal vestibulitus which can be quite painful, and it's gotten so much worse with my nose being runny or blocked since being pregnant.

On the plus side, I feel a lot calmer and less anxious than is typical for me.

What health or mood conditions have you noticed getting worse or improving?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DYpEhugKhb8/?igsh=MXJvNXQ0aWdpaXB6bA==

I moved to a new state and of the three hairdressers I've seen, none seem to know how to actually dry hair. None of them dried my roots first, or got the hair 70% dry before starting to dry it into a style.

The first was a trainee so I figured she just wasn't trained well. Then I went to a salon, got a great color correction and cut, but left thinking my hair didn't feel quite dry. I thought maybe it was product. The appointment was $325 including tip. 20 minutes later my hair was a giant poofball because it turns out it wasn't fully dried.

My next appointment at the same place took longer than expected for the color to lift so I asked about timings and the hairdresser asked if I expected to have it blow dried into a style because obviously that would add more time. I said no, I was fine to just have it dried i.e. no bouncy blow out, no curls etc, just dry.

She had her assistant do it, and once again she barely towel dried it and then started drying the ends without doing my roots. Am I crazy? Isn't this basic stuff? My hair was maybe 80% dry when she considered it done and I couldn't be bothered arguing about it because I'd been there 4 hours already. The charge was the same as the last appointment, when the stylist had claimed to actually blow dry it.

Am I nuts to think getting my hair actually dry during a $300 appointment is a basic part of the service?

I live 3000 miles away from my family and am expecting my first baby. I've been feeling sad about the fact that my child won't get to know my family with the same ease as their cousins.

I've had an idea to ask my family members to record themselves reading short stories that I can play for my daughter when she arrives, so she can get to know their faces and voices!

What are some short stories for children that might take 3-5 minutes to read out loud?

I live in the US now and am expecting my first baby. When I last visited, I brought back a couple of Noddy books from my parents' house, that they'd kept for over 40 years.

I'd love to collect a few more nostalgic children/baby books for the little one, like Spot the Dog, or the Mr. Men.

What were your or your kids' favourites?

FTM seeking help with picking from all these options! Ideally I'd like a stroller that switches from newborn to toddler, can handle stairs with just one person, and doesn't require me to buy additional items to make it baby ready.

If there are any that are basically a car seat on wheels, that would be amazing!

I am 20w+2 and it's regularly hitting 90°F where I live, with expectations to get hotter as summer approaches. I'm a FTM and while this isn't my first time living somewhere hot, I am not used to the expected humidity that will come in the next few months.

How are you dealing with being outside in hot weather of you need to be? Are you concerned about your bump getting too baked? When the baby arrives, what tips can moms from hot climates share please??

My husband and I are expecting our first baby this year and are very excited. Before we started dating, he told me that he and an ex-girlfriend had given up a child for adoption, which was open on the other family's side i.e. they knew all the child's birth parent info and could choose to share information if they wanted.

This was almost 18 years ago, and over the years he learned through second hand information that a lot of tragic events had happened in the family - essentially both adoptive parents died and the now 17 year old is being cared for by their grandparent.

We both have strong hopes that the child will choose to reach out once they turn 18, especially given how their family life turned out, and we feel that it would be a blessing to have them in our life in whatever capacity they may choose.

This will be my first child and of course, I don't really know what to expect, I don't know how my hormones will affect me once my own child arrives etc. but as I said, I feel very strongly that we would be blessed to have my husband's other child contact us, should they wish.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? How did it affect you and your relationship, how did you feel, any advice etc? It doesn't even have to be that you had a newborn or a small child, just a partner's other children enter your life after some period of time.