u/Regular-Message9591

I know how annoying it is that a lot, if not all, of us get unsolicited comments on our bodies when we're not feeling our best, but do some of them at least make you feel nice??

I was just at QT when an older man held the door for me and said, "You're just about the prettiest pregnant woman I ever seen!" and, standing there with my swollen hands feeling like catchers' mitts, I have to admit that it put a big smile on my face 😊

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/uklandlords/s/OGmj4iRLvZ

How would you personally go about fighting this claim without spending a ton on a solicitor? I'm assuming they think we'll settle just to shut them up, but no chance. I'm not handing over a penny unless it's court ordered.

Now that they're being asked questions, the story is changing. Just to note: the oven and hob were cleaned by two different people using different products.

My own mum cleaned the hob using every day household products. Tenants are now claiming they used the hob for two weeks and suffered unexplained migraines, nausea, couldn't eat and couldn't DRINK. Three days is pretty much how long a human can live without drinking but OK...

Then after 2 weeks they finally used the oven which had been cleaned by a professional company using non toxic products. They say it started smoking so they turned it off, opened the windows and doors, and it carried on smoking for 2 HOURS afterwards... without a heat source...?

Now they've added in that they went to the GP and it was the GP who advised them to go to the hospital (before they just said they went to the hospital). They're still claiming both the oven and the hob made them sick and that the hospital specifically told them that that was the cause, after spending a few hours there.

They've provided no proof of a GP visit or medical notes, no proof of a hospital visit or medical notes, no photo or video evidence of this smoking oven, and no proof that it was the hob and oven that made them sick (if they even were). They have their own air fryer - how would they know it wasn't that making them ill?

Am I crazy? Their story just doesn't add up to me at all especially with these new elements that seem to defy both biology and the laws of thermodynamics 😂

How would you fight this as a landlord?

As a comparison, I had a negligent dentist a few years ago, who almost killed me. He left an abscess untreated for months while I kept going back insisting something was wrong. It took over a year for me to win my claim against his insurance even with all the records from his practice that showed evidence of the abscess, my hospital records, records of emergency surgery, photos and video of me sobbing and describing the agony I was in before I took myself to the hospital, and a visible scar and swelling (that lasted months) from the surgery. I had to practice opening my mouth again because it reached a point where I could only open my jaw a quarter of an inch.

These guys seem to think they're going to get a quick buck out of us by just saying stuff.

Only mildly infuriating because the remaining bill for an emergency check on the baby is only $117 and not something Mangione-worthy.

I have a small one bedroom flat, in a small town, that I co-own with my BIL. We bought it for me to live in, circumstances changed within a year and I ended up getting married and moving abroad.

We found a young couple to rent it, who happily stayed for 3 years, but when they moved out we found out they'd let their dog destroy my nice carpet by peeing all over it and never cleaning it up. They also left all the appliances filthy, broke a carpet cleaner my BIL lent them (that wasn't capable of undoing the dog mess anyway) etc. We kept their full deposit as a result, but it still cost us extra to replace the carpet (I got one more appropriate for a rental this time), got the oven professionally cleaned etc. so we made a small loss. Frustrating but life goes on.

Got new tenants immediately, another young couple. They've been in the flat a month. 2 weeks after moving in they claimed to have both spent 7 hours at the hospital (you can spend 7 hours in the waiting room...) and were told that they had chemical inhalation damage from the oven and hob. They claim to have been told it'll take a long time for them to recover, that they had EKGs, chest x-rays, and chest and mouth exams. They said they cooked something and there was residue from the (non-toxic) cleaning products that burned off while they were cooking. They haven't provided any hospital records to prove any of the above and honestly, if you've ever been in a UK small town hospital, you're unlikely to have had all those things checked out in just 7 hours.

My BIL decided to just get them a brand new oven and hob instead of fighting them over it, as a gesture of goodwill, so that was another £250 out of pocket. While he was there telling them about the new oven, they asked if they could get a dog. He said no because the last tenants' dog caused such an issue. A few days later they send a ChatGPT-created request, invoking the Housing Act, saying what kind of dog they want, and telling us we have 28 days to respond.

A few days after that, all within the same month, they're now requesting our insurance details to make a claim for damages re: the "chemical inhalation"... We're going to request hospital records before sharing any insurance info. They just seem like they're on a scam to make a quick buck.

Needless to say, we want them gone. They're giving us both the vibe that they'll cause nothing but trouble. To be fair, BIL and I are naive as landlords - we didn't know you basically can't refuse a dog etc. We never intended to be landlords, we just want the mortgage covered since I moved out so soon after buying the place.

What would you do in our situation?

EDIT: thank you for all the replies! I am trying to answer everyone, just might take me some time!

I just had avocado and fried eggs on sourdough toast, with salt, pepper and just a sprinkle of tajin. It hit the spot!

My uncle (78M) passed away 2 years ago. He was in general ill health but technically it was still sudden because he had undiagnosed pneumonia. Myself and my two sisters (42F and 47F) were all close with him, and we have a brother who had not spoken to our uncle in several years. My brother (45M) generally keeps to himself more than the rest of us. My uncle was unmarried, had no children, and had indicated that the four of us nieces and nephew would be named in his will as the beneficiaries of his savings, with his house going to my dad.

Let's call 42F Vicky and 47F Tracy for ease.

He had some decent savings and, before he passed, he had offered to pay off Tracy's mortgage because otherwise she was going to lose her house and have nowhere to go with her two children. She has a chronic illness that had prevented her from working, and it turned out her partner of 20 years had only been paying the interest on the mortgage instead of the balance so she really was in dire straits. She was open and honest about the situation and we were aware that my uncle gifted her approx £100k.

Around that same time, I moved to another country, as my uncle was in the middle of a health scare. He was hospitalized for about 2 months, and thought he was going to die. I tried to stay in contact but he never wanted to talk to me on the phone and when I asked my sisters they just said he brushed it off and wouldn't explain to them why. He didn't have a smartphone, didn't know how to text etc so I relied on calling to maintain contact. I occasionally sent letters too but got no reply.

One day my mum (his sister in law) called me, incredibly upset. She said that my sisters had told her that my uncle had scribbled a will on the back of an envelope while he was in the hospital, and Vicky had insisted on getting it written out formally and notarized. The will indicated that Tracy and Vicky would each receive 40% of the estate, and my brother and I would each receive 10% of the estate. My mum was so upset because she knew my uncle had been avoiding me despite no falling out, and felt that it was unfair that I was being left the same as my brother who was very low contact with my uncle. Even my brother was upset for me because he saw an unfair comparison between how he and I each interacted with my uncle over the years. My mum was also upset that both my sisters were keeping this a secret from me "so as not to upset me".

I didn't actually give a shit about the money - I was heartbroken that all of a sudden my uncle was treating me as if I had done something wrong, and treating me the same as someone who had no spoken to him in years.

A few weeks later I found out that Vicky had also persuaded my uncle to pay off HER mortgage to the tune of around £100k, even though she was not having the same financial issues as Tracy. Vicky also kept this a secret whereas Tracy was open about the gift she received. Vicky was also named as the executor of his will.

About a year after all this, my uncle passed away. Tracy and Vicky decided that they felt they had had their share of the estate already and that they were happy for the remainder to be split between myself and my brother. My dad, my uncle's brother, would receive his house (somewhat dilapidated) but no money.

As Vicky was dealing with the will, it turned out that my uncle had been collecting some kind of overpayment of benefits which now had to be investigated to determine if the estate owed the government any money back. It's been two years, we still don't have an answer and the estate cannot be distributed until it's resolved. This also means that the house hasn't been put in my dad's name, and any bills for the house are still coming out of the estate.

I feel like Vicky made sure to get her share and maybe more (she's never disclosed the numbers) before my uncle passed away, tried to hide it from me that I was being all but cut from his will, and is now not being proactive in chasing up the benefits issue to try to get this whole thing resolved ASAP. Essentially from our combined 20%, only my brother and I are going to be responsible for paying any overpayments back while my sisters are off scot free with their mortgage free homes. My brother doesn't own a home and I half-own a small one bedroom flat with a 30 year mortgage on it.

My brother has cut Vicky off over this - not on behalf of himself, but because he feels like she screwed me over. He was surprised to be named in the will at all given their relationship.

I don't want family drama, I don't want to be estranged from my sister and her children, but I do feel kind of screwed and can't tell if I'm just being overly sensitive, and this is just the way the cookie crumbled?

Edit to add: Vicky feels like she's being reasonable because technically she and Tracy could still take 40% each from the remainder of the estate and they're choosing not to.

My uncle (78M) passed away 2 years ago. He was in general ill health but technically it was still sudden because he had undiagnosed pneumonia. Myself and my two sisters (42F and 47F) were all close with him, and we have a brother who had not spoken to our uncle in several years. My brother (45M) generally keeps to himself more than the rest of us. My uncle was unmarried, had no children, and had indicated that the four of us nieces and nephew would be named in his will as the only beneficiaries.

Let's call 42F Vicky and 47F Tracy for ease.

He had some decent savings and, before he passed, he had offered to pay off Tracy's mortgage because otherwise she was going to lose her house and have nowhere to go with her two children. She has a chronic illness that had prevented her from working, and it turned out her partner of 20 years had only been paying the interest on the mortgage instead of the balance so she really was in dire straits. She was open and honest about the situation and we were aware that my uncle gifted her approx £100k.

Around that same time, I moved to another country, as my uncle was in the middle of a health scare. He was hospitalized for about 2 months, and thought he was going to die. I tried to stay in contact but he never wanted to talk to me on the phone and when I asked my sisters they just said he brushed it off and wouldn't explain to them why. He didn't have a smartphone, didn't know how to text etc so I relied on calling to maintain contact. I occasionally sent letters too but got no reply.

One day my mum (his sister in law) called me, incredibly upset. She said that my sisters had told her that my uncle had scribbled a will on the back of an envelope while he was in the hospital, and Vicky had insisted on getting it written out formally and notarized. The will indicated that Tracy and Vicky would each receive 40% of the estate, and my brother and I would each receive 10% of the estate. My mum was so upset because she knew my uncle had been avoiding me despite no falling out, and felt that it was unfair that I was being left the same as my brother who was very low contact with my uncle. Even my brother was upset for me because he saw an unfair comparison between how he and I each interacted with my uncle over the years. My mum was also upset that both my sisters were keeping this a secret from me "so as not to upset me".

I didn't actually give a shit about the money - I was heartbroken that all of a sudden my uncle was treating me as if I had done something wrong, and treating me the same as someone who had no spoken to him in years.

A few weeks later I found out that Vicky had also persuaded my uncle to pay off HER mortgage to the tune of around £100k, even though she was not having the same financial issues as Tracy. Vicky also kept this a secret whereas Tracy was open about the gift she received. Vicky was also named as the executor of his will.

About a year after all this, my uncle passed away. Tracy and Vicky decided that they felt they had had their share of the estate already and that they were happy for the remainder to be split between myself and my brother. My dad, my uncle's brother, would receive his house (somewhat dilapidated) but no money.

As Vicky was dealing with the will, it turned out that my uncle had been collecting some kind of overpayment of benefits which now had to be investigated to determine if the estate owed the government any money back. It's been two years, we still don't have an answer and the estate cannot be distributed until it's resolved. This also means that the house hasn't been put in my dad's name, and any bills for the house are still coming out of the estate.

I feel like Vicky made sure to get her share and maybe more (she's never disclosed the numbers) before my uncle passed away, tried to hide it from me that I was being all but cut from his will, and is now not being proactive in chasing up the benefits issue to try to get this whole thing resolved ASAP. Essentially from our combined 20%, only my brother and I are going to be responsible for paying any overpayments back while my sisters are off scot free with their mortgage free homes. My brother doesn't own a home and I half-own a small one bedroom flat with a 30 year mortgage on it.

My brother has cut Vicky off over this - not on behalf of himself, but because he feels like she screwed me over. He was surprised to be named in the will at all given their relationship.

I don't want family drama, I don't want to be estranged from my sister and her children, but I do feel kind of screwed and can't tell if I'm just being overly sensitive, and this is just the way the cookie crumbled?

Edit to add: Vicky feels like she's being reasonable because technically she and Tracy could still take 40% each from the remainder of the estate and they're choosing not to.

I'm English, living in the US. As far as I'm aware, in England baby showers are a nice reason to celebrate, buy a couple of cute things and just gush on the mum a bit before their first child arrives.

My experience of baby showers in America is limited to posts on Reddit so feel free to tell me if this isn't the norm, but so many posts seem to be about people who are annoyed or disappointed that they now only have a month or whatever to buy a bunch of stuff they need or want for their baby, because people either went off registry or didn't get them one of the items they need.

I get that having people ask for the registry and then buy something different IS frustrating, especially if you've chosen things that work for your space or lifestyle - it's like someone taking your thoughtful decision away from you and it's a bit wasteful IMO, but people seem more annoyed that they didn't get a lot of stuff, as if throwing the party is a trade off

for having the purchases fulfilled by other people.

My very sweet SIL is throwing me a small shower and asked for the registry and I'm assuming people will buy the cute or fun things from it, if anything at all. Anything major like a crib, stroller etc I'm fully prepared to be purchasing ourselves. I've even bought some things already and marked them off the registry so I know where I'm up to with prepping for my own little responsibility arriving.

Is it a cultural thing? Do most people in America expect that their registry will largely be taken care of by their shower guests? Or is it just that the people who do feel that way come to Reddit to vent about it?

A lady brought her small dog into the small dog park enclosure where I take my 8 month old puppy. She mentioned it was an ankle biter, by which I thought she meant it makes snapping motions at ankles like some small dogs do.

Instead, I'm minding my own business, walking back from the water fountain and her dog runs up and chomps on the side of my calf, twice in quick succession. Thank God it didn't break the skin but there are abrasions, almost immediate bruising and some swelling. It kept trying to snap at me while I kind of stamped around to stop it from getting my leg again. She came over, said sorry, temporarily moved the dog to be by her and asked if I was ok.

Honestly I was kind of shocked. I'm 7 months pregnant but it would have hurt and shocked anyone. I just told her it didn't break the skin and I went and sat back down, away from them. She still didn't put the dog on its leash and it ran towards my puppy and me several times until I yelled at it. The lady then got it and left without saying anything else.

Now that I'm home and the bruising is getting worse, I feel silly that I didn't go off on her, demand she remove the dog etc. but I'm so tired and was kind of taken aback that instead I just managed it, not feeling in any more immediate danger. If it had been a bigger dog I would have been very worried.

I can't understand why someone brings a dog like that to a public park, let's it off leash, and risks it attacking somebody.

What should I or could I have done differently?

Edit to update: I asked someone about this dog at the park today (happened on Saturday, updating on Sunday), just if she knew him by name, and she was bitten by him last fall... she thinks one or two other people have been bitten by the same dog.

I used to have a lot of friends and acquaintances, people to hang out with, a best friend of 25 years, people who would share their problems with me etc. I was pretty social, lived in a big city, hung out with people from work. You get the gist.

Then I moved back to my hometown and got into a long distance relationship with someone I'd met decades earlier and began to be truly happy in life. I moved countries to be with them, got married and am expecting our first child, and my "friends" are nowhere to be found.

My long term best friend seemed to struggle with the fact that I no longer let her dictate our relationship, and all but accused my husband of controlling me. Her examples included things like not joining us for lunch for my birthday, on a Tuesday, when he was working an hour away to support us both financially because I didn't have working privileges in my new country yet... and me not visiting her regularly when I couldn't yet drive and it would take me two hours each way by public transport... and me not succumbing to pressure to Face Time with her when I hate FTing and explained multiple times that I was happy to chat on the phone but not while staring at her doing her make up routine or whatever.

Other so called friends just faded away when I wasn't immediately convenient or available to them. They didn't even send cards for my wedding when I'd been to all of theirs, celebrated them buying homes, having children etc. Texts became less frequent, months between responses, no interest in my new life, etc. It seems like I was their friend but they were never really mine. "Oh man that's crazy" is all I get if I try to talk to them about my life or problems.

And now I just don't fucking care any more. I'm happier than I ever was with more so called friends than I could count. It hurts but it also doesn't matter, watching them fade away one by one. I really have no interest in making any new ones now I see how fake so many people are.

In my new country I lived with my in laws, and my SIL and a neighbor who was like a sister to them quickly became close with me, until family drama reared its head. Now neither of them speak to me or my husband. I have a BIL and his wife who have been wonderful throughout - they're basically the only people in the family who are realistic about what caused the problems and who have supported me and my husband. They live 3 hours away and we visit them and their kids regularly. Their friends have been very welcoming to us and I'm thankful for the joy they bring but I feel so wary about actually getting closer to any of them or accepting that their interest in me is real.

Will I feel like this forever? Will I never care to have a real friend again because no one ever really is? I just want to delete my social media, never be the first to text anymore, and see where the chips fall.

Has anyone had a custom board book or flashcards made for their children? My family lives 3000 miles away and my parents are elderly. I want my baby to "know" them, recognize them etc and I think a board book with their names, or flashcards, would be nice.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Or ideas of how to create something durable and homemade?

I'm looking for things that will last and become baby's firm favorites over time.

We're currently LC with my parents in law and sister in law. Even though my husband has spoken to them all briefly at some point since we got pregnant (failed attempts to resolve issues with in laws, SIL ignoring the issues and just being a conduit to brief conversations with her children), none of them have asked anything at all about our child and as such, we have not offered any information either. I have not spoken to any of them and they have not asked after my health.

MIL is insecure, self-involved and plays the victim, and FIL is manipulative, selfish and greedy when it comes to what access he thinks he deserves to other people. SIL is also Team Victim but to a lesser degree than MIL.

With this in mind, we are aware that they may ask for information nearer to the birth (they don't know when I'm due but could hazard a guess based on when they were informed of the pregnancy), or try to get information from other family members and their children. We will not be posting any information about the birth or the baby on social media, no photos etc etc. and feel strongly that they do not deserve this information unless they actually resolve things with us.

We have nephews who are 6 and 8 and don't want to drag them into family drama, but the family knows we visit with them often and will probably try to get info about the baby. How would you navigate this or feel about it if your in laws get info from the kids?

SIL also has two daughters, 4 and 8, who will ask about the baby. Again, we don't want to bring them into the drama or keep them from knowing about their cousin, but that info will get back to SIL, who is all but deliberately ignoring the pregnancy and who has treated me and her brother very poorly. It's so frustrating to navigate and want to feel in control of.

I'm number 4 of 4 in my family so hand me downs have always been part of my life, and sharing things just makes sense to me.

I'm due to have my first child in a few weeks and have made a registry mostly to keep track for myself of what I need/have already sourced, including some great bargains from FB marketplace, but also for my family abroad who have said they want to gift us some items for the baby.

My incredibly sweet SIL has a two year old daughter (her last) and has very kindly offered to go through the things they no longer need so I can have first refusal, but she also wanted to make it very clear that I don't have to accept anything that I might want new because it's our first baby. She seemed worried that I might be offended, but I'm very touched that they're willing to share things with us that they've spent money on or been gifted.

Does anyone actually get upset by being offered hand me downs because it might make them feel less special or like their baby isn't as important?