u/RestlessDreamer32

I started playing VRC a few years ago on standalone VR and quickly discovered the gorgeous world of PCVR, but one thing that really hampered my enjoyment for a lot of servers were the screechers. I'm good with kids IRL but dealing with them online is horrendous. It easily kills my enjoyment of otherwise fun multiplayer games that have mic support. Devil's Roulette is an example of a game that's super fun, but because the majority of the player base are screeching edgelord children shouting the N-bomb all the time (yes, it gets old), I've stopped playing it entirely despite enjoying the game.

When I noticed VRC had the option to age verify, I decided to give it a go and that was it. That was the magic key to enjoying this game. Yes, I get the privacy concerns regarding the whole thing, but at this point I didn't care. My smart phone already knows more about me than even I do anyways. Sure, there are absolutely still adult edgelords and trolls, but they're infinitely more tolerable than the kids on this game.

I don't have to worry about anyone being minors either and can feel comfortable speaking as an adult and talking about topics that wouldn't be appropriate to anyone underage. The issue I'm facing now is none of my friends are age verified and don't want to be, so whenever we play together I have to join them in normal open servers. My enjoyment drops immensely with the types of people I encounter.

Anyone else feel this way?

While most Reddit subs are echo chambers, this one is absolutely delusional. If I said this in most other places online I'd be agreed with, but here people have this permanent victim complex and act like their human rights are being violated when people criticize the use of Meta glasses.

When people feel uncomfortable about them, there's no shortage of comments like:

"That's a YOU problem!"
"There are security cameras everywhere! It's the same thing!"
"People have phones out everywhere and can be recording you! It's the same!"

And tons of other tired out excuses. Meta already doesn't have a great track record with users privacy, and there are several places don't like people recording. Yes, there's a "flashing light" to let people know, but there's no shortage of posts on this sub asking how to disable or cover it and have it still record. There's an endless amount of "POV rizz" content online from countless of creators, which gets even worse when many of the girls being hit on look like or are actual minors. These women are having videos of them being flirted with posted all over the internet without their permission for gooners. Yet people here will just say crap like "IT'S A PUBLIC PLACE!! WE HAVE A RIGHT TO FILM!! YOU'RE ALREADY BEING RECORDED BY SECURITY CAMERAS!! IT'S THE SAME!!". The difference is malls and stores aren't going to go on and upload security camera footage of strangers for funsies... But creeps with these glasses will.

Being an older guy with these is even riskier. All it takes is an accusation of recording someone's kid in a restroom and you're done for, even if you aren't. And no, it's not "the same" as having your phone out. It would be akin to someone having their phone out and holding the camera up in peoples directions, which people would absolutely take issue with.

Yet when people here go to places where they're told to take off their Meta glasses, they have full blown meltdowns in the comment sections where they're like "THEY'RE MUH PRESCRIPTIONS!! THEY'RE A MEDICAL DEVICE!!". People here act like they're the next Rosa Parks when they refuse to take their Meta glasses off. It's comical, but a common attitude here.

And guess what? I actually have a pair, but after seeing strange uncomfortable looks from people in public and being asked multiple times if I was recording people, I stopped and picked up a regular pair of Raybans. I don't use the camera, nor do I like it being there. I got the glasses solely for the music, which sounds great on them, as do phone calls, but home is the only place I use them anymore. The technology is impressive and I love using mine, but I can't deny the stigma around them, and I'm not insensitive enough to strangers to delude myself into thinking otherwise. If they released ones without a camera I'd grab them in a heartbeat.

After being on this sub for a while though, I can 100% understand why they make people uncomfortable.

I have a couple paid avatars already, and the second one straight up admitted it wasn't very well optimized. Looks adorable in game, but last thing I'd wanna do is crash out someone else's game or just have the avi blocked by people.

How does everyone here feel about it? If you really liked an avatar, would you bother to optimize it yourself?

I know I'm gonna sound super nooby for saying this, but I only JUST discovered Gumroad and the ability to purchase and upload avatars yourself into the game. Needless to say, my wishlist is massive and my wallet is hurting. I've only purchased one so far, but it feels good having such a unique avatar that feels like me.

Looking at a ton of these popular avatars, especially ones by FoxiPaws, I'm only now just realizing I've seen tons of these avatars before. But I came to the realization someone could just upload an avatar as public and allow cloning. When I've told people I've paid for avatars, they act like it's a wild concept and a waste, but are using an avatar that isn't free. Are most users really just using stolen avatars?

If a creator were to find out about this, what recourse is there if any?

My specs are as follows. Playing on a Quest 3 with Virtual Desktop.

Motherboard: ASRock B460M Pro4
CPU: Intel i7-10700F 2.90GHz
GPU: RTX 4060 8GB
RAM: 32GB DDR4-3200 (1600 MHz)
Internet speed: 94 Mbps upload, 94 Mbps download (using wired connection)

According to Google, ChatGPT, etc, my PC is supposedly powerful enough to run VRC well, and it use to a few months ago, but lately in the last few weeks my entire PC will just outright crash and require a hard restart if I as much as try to join a lobby with more than 20 users. Turning the graphics to lowest does nothing to improve the situation. Blocking all poor and below avatars fixes the issue for the most part, but if I'm going to have to look at ugly blocky avatars anyway, I may as well just play the native Quest version. My issue is a few months ago I didn't have this issue at all.

Has the game been updated to become more demanding or something? My Virtual Desktop settings are great for what I do any work perfectly in every other game I play via PCVR. Arizona Sunshine Remaster, Alien Rogue Incursion, Half Life Alyx, etc all run without issue. VRC is the ONLY game that does it.

All other remotely demanding tasks on my PC are killed and not using memory, and my settings are apparently already in the place troubleshooting online recommends I be at. I'm at my wits end because VRC was one of my only social outlets outside of my work life and I can't even enjoy it now.

My PC is around around 6 years old. Is it really time to upgrade already?

You know the Reddit power-user stereotype. The one who comments "UMMMM SOURCE???" or some shit because they disagree with what's being said or claimed.

The issue is they're not asking because they think there's a possibility that they're wrong in not believing it, but because they plan to attack any source that's given to them. If you give them anything other than some academic peer-reviewed study/journal, etc, they'll be quick to "debunk" what you say. Even if they are given an academic peer-reviewed study, it still won't be good enough for them. They'll instead seek to discredit the person who wrote the source, call it "misinterpreted data" or "inadequate", or just choose to take the source out of context as a "gotcha". Any source that argues against their beliefs are automatically wrong, and any source that validates their claims are correct.

They're not actually interested in a debate or a genuine discussion. They just want to "defeat" the person who said the thing they didn't like. Even when it comes to the subject of opinions, rather than facts.

**Lmao Redditors are already not beating the allegations. Called it.**

One common misconception about golden's is that they're happy all the time. Truth is most get sad, depressed, or absolutely devastated on the regular from the most mundane or tiny things. That's not even counting getting scared.

Recently mine got very upset that she lost her ice cube under the couch, even though I gave her another one immediately.

What's had your golden's so sad lately?

I'd love to see a big discussion of this. One thing I love most about goldens is how they're afraid of the silliest things for smallest of reasons.

With my girl, if you hold up literally any object and make the "oooOOoooOooo" ghost noise, she will temporarily be afraid of it. She's also decided to be afraid of random objects outside on walks.

Let's hear yours.

I'm not saying cheating is a good action or one that is justifiable. It's wrong, but many things in life are wrong. Many things are also FAR worse.

I'm saying all of this as someone who has been cheated on several times in my life. There are FAR worse things out there than someone cheating, and it's not even close. Yet if you ask your average Redditor, cheating is not only on par with murder, but countless think it's WORSE. I'm not even joking. Murderers, domestic abusers, rapists, and even child traffickers are somehow treated with more leniency than a cheater. It's treated as the ultimate unforgivable sin where redemption is impossible. There's no nuance and these Redditor's see the entire subject as black-and-white.

If you look up this type of opinion in any other unpopular opinion spot on Reddit, people flock to the comment section to prove OP correct. These posts are downvoted into the negatives, as is every sensible comment. I've seen countless comments straight up calling for cheating to be criminalized. That you should go to prison, lose everything, and have a lifelong criminal record for it. That you should be doxxed and shamed out of society. These opinions aren't just from outlier extremists. They're the majority.

I have been violently raped by a couple partners in my life. One even did it at knife point. I've also been beaten by past partners. I had a stranger actually attempt to murder me and hit me in the head so violently that I now have permanent concussive symptoms my brain will never heal from. I've seen a suicide jumper fall from 6 stories and land mere feet away from me. I've was abused as a child and dragged down a flight of stairs and locked in a dark room by a babysitter. Every single one of these things were FAR worse than any time I've been cheated on. Being cheated on didn't even come close to the scars these other events have left on me. It wasn't in the same ballpark, let alone the same game. Despite all of that happening to me, your average Redditor would argue that the cheating was the greatest sin committed against me.

I don't even think most of the ex's who cheated on me were bad people. What they did hurt and wasn't right, but it's not the eternal damnation people make it out to be. Some of them really did become better and turn things around for themselves. But according the Reddit hivemind, these people will not only never change, but they will do it again 100% of the time, and if they don't, it's simply met with "W-well they're still a cheater.". While most relationships don't survive adultery, there are still those that do. But when people decide to stay with a cheater, the hatred of the Reddit hivemind latches onto them and they suddenly "deserve every bad thing that comes their way". They're like the toxic single female friends who recommend their friends "just break up" for every single issue in the relationship.

It all gives "they doth protest too much" energy. Statistics show that about 1 in 5 men will cheat at some point in their life and women make up about 1 in 8. Like with all statistics, the actual numbers are often far higher due to things not being reported or counted for. Despite this, basically all Redditors who have an opinion on the subject are VERY vocally anti-cheating. Not just anti-cheating, but militantly so. They're weirdly vocal about it. They also all circle jerk one another for Reddit updoots and pat one another on the back for having popular opinions.

They get off on being angry and comment these types of things to feel better about themselves. What's really funny, is the most vocally anti-cheating people I know went on to cheat themselves. I can already smell the negative downvotes and angry comments flocking here to prove my entire point.

Now, based off of his behaviors I understand he very likely has some sort of undiagnosed mental disorder, but it's starting to become scary. This is no excuse to act as he does, and trying to confront him directly goes very poorly. It's like trying to diffuse a bomb where every wire triggers an explosion.

His girlfriend broke up with him a while ago because he was creepily possessive and mentally abusive, so as soon as that happened he started hitting on every moderately attractive woman who works for our company. His ex was flat-out scared to even walk to her car after because he had stalker tendencies. They've all rejected him, have privately confided how creeping and pushy he was, but in his head he actually thinks "If they say they don't like it, they're lying." He's actually been quoted saying that to another coworker. The worst was a month or so ago when he sent unsolicited videos of himself jerking off to someone on Messenger and after getting rejected and blocked, he began to try to destroy her reputation at work by telling everyone she's a "liar" and a "whore", even though all the chat logs, of which she's shown me, say otherwise. I'd say the term "incel rage" would match most closely.

He simultaneously flirts with every other cute woman he can get within radius of him, and continues to act creepy when he gets rejected. If you see a woman at our work on social media being recommended to you, you'll see she very likely has him added. If they breathe and have a female reproductive system, he adds them. Multiple women have already made complaints about him, including the one mentioned above, and absolutely nothing has been done. No suspension, firing, or anything else. He hasn't even been scared into stopping his behavior. It's even extended to trying to ruin everyone he feels is "in his way". If a girl he's flirting with has a boyfriend, he'll try to find out who the guy is, who their family members are, and message them lies to try to break things up so he can slide in. If any guys at work are friendly with the women he has "claimed", he will try to ruin them too. Any small thing you say to him he will try to use against you.

Our work supposedly has "strict" rules against both sexual harassment and gossip, and he flaunts his lack of care for those rules on the daily. I've even been told recently he's trying to spread negative gossip about me because he saw me merely speaking to one of the women he's preying on. Every report someone makes against him to management just makes him even more unhinged, but he's still here. Management doesn't answer our inquiries into following up on these reports either and simply tells us to "just focus on our work".

It's gotten to the point where if I see him, I walk in the other direction and avoid being alone with him at all costs. Every time I've had to be alone near him he keeps on pressing me for personal information he can try to use against me because he sees me as a threat to his flirting when I'm not interested in dating anyone at work.

---Do I have any options left? Or am I just stuck working with this snake-tongued creep forever? I'm not leaving a good paying job because of him.

Obviously "not all", but I'd argue a strong majority are based on my previous experiences. Looking up this phenomenon online, it looks like I'm not alone and it has an actual basis in psychology. It simply comes down to a few things. A taken guy is seen as more desirable because he's been pre-screened and approved of by another woman, so he must have some kind of value, even if that value is unknown to other women. The "food" on someone else's plate is also far more appealing. Going after a taken guy or flirting with them also gives them the "thrill of the chase". The man is seen as desirable because now they're "unobtainable", but if the woman succeeds in stealing this man from another woman, one thing that often happens is she will no longer want him because he's a "cheater" now, and there's no chase to be had. Any "forbidden fruit" desires she had about him have faded away.

During points in my life where I have been single is when I'd have the hardest time getting anyone to hold interest in me. Contrasted with how women would treat me once I was a taken man was a night and day difference. Women who had previously rejected me, never given me the time of day, or where things fizzled out would flock back to me. I'd reject them nicely, but that still didn't really stop a lot of them. They'd go from ignoring me to smiling and waving at me and trying to talk to me any chance they could. When I would find myself single again, due to me or her ending it, the same women I was referring to would go back to ignoring me again. It's always struck me as odd, but has been a persistent pattern from my teens into adulthood.

It also happened with people I knew. I had a friend that I'd often go to bars and clubs with in my younger years. Women didn't really give him the time of day, but he started wearing a used wedding ring he got used, and woman actually started to approach him. He was completely single, but he gave the appearance of a taken man, and they flocked to him like he was made of candy.

As I said, obviously there are countless women who don't fit this description, but I firmly believe there are far more who do than don't, despite hating cheaters and homewreckers.

You've probably seen a restaurant or 100 just like this. Dim interior with string lights. A dusty brick accent wall. A chalkboard menu. Forced "pub" aesthetic. Maybe a shelf where they're selling beard oil, hot sauce, or some other shit. A chef with a big beard who is likely bald and calls himself "Thor" or something that's weirdly obsessed with Viking or Irish symbolism, tattoos, who is also very likely polyamorous depending on his politics. A waiter who looks similar; maybe with a twirled moustache, suspenders, a bow-tie, etc. The guys that work here are either uber Liberal or super Conservative and there seems to be very little in-between. Their plates are rectangular for some reason and the ketchup almost always comes in little metal cups. Their "home fries" all look the same, as their "gourmet" burger that's "beer battered" whatever the fuck, and the meal will set you back like $65. All to the hum of some garbage "stomp clap hey" music.

The food isn't "bad" per se in most cases, but it's overpriced hipster fodder. It's the Starbucks of burger restaurants. If you know a guy who looks like this and he tells you he "knows a place" when on the subject of dining out, it's almost always a place that's like this.