I find myself being a bit of a shut in at 35+ after traveling, joining hobbies since I turned 30. Before that I wasted all my 20s.

1. I feel too old and I never planned my life to be like this, still single, still looking

anyways all the beautiful women I see (at least on social media) tend to be at concerts, yoga, pilates, which arent places I go to and I wouldn't want to do it specifically to meet women.

in the past I have joined run groups, I have danced , but again I'm much older now and my body can't take it (at least the running dedication). I just weight lift now which is solo.

dating apps is becoming more of a drag now. I do okay there but I think women my age are looking for kids fast and the younger women in their late 20s are after the same thing and I'm not quite there because I still have my life to figure out (career, etc)

so where do I go out to meet people at my age? I don't want to come off as some single creep. And I don't want to keep wasting time by being a shut in. I'm just so lost.

I know I should take out attractive in the women, as I should just put myself to meet people in general , but obv I want someone I find attractive, and certain places attract more attractive people in general, as I am one to take care of my body and appearance (not to sound superficial)

I find myself being a bit of a shut in at 35+ after traveling, joining hobbies since I turned 30. Before that I wasted all my 20s.

1. I feel too old and I never planned my life to be like this, still single, still looking

anyways all the beautiful women I see (at least on social media) tend to be at concerts, yoga, pilates, which arent places I go to and I wouldn't want to do it specifically to meet women.

in the past I have joined run groups, I have danced , but again I'm much older now and my body can't take it (at least the running dedication). I just weight lift now which is solo.

dating apps is becoming more of a drag now. I do okay there but I think women my age are looking for kids fast and the younger women in their late 20s are after the same thing and I'm not quite there because I still have my life to figure out (career, etc)

so where do I go out to meet people at my age? I don't want to come off as some single creep. And I don't want to keep wasting time by being a shut in. I'm just so lost.

I know I should take out attractive in the women, as I should just put myself to meet people in general , but obv I want someone I find attractive, and certain places attract more attractive people in general, as I am one to take care of my body and appearance (not to sound superficial)

invest in business, real estate, stocks.

why gruel through a job that is stupid with office politics to achieve the same thing which is to pay for your life.

why can't investment be a job?

The more successful people I see online or in person, it feels like gosh I wish I will be successful like them someday and earn alot of money. They seem so finically stable and have earned respect. I know it might have taken them years to reach that sort of success and not only finically wise but every aspects from personal, social status as well.

I try to Google and understand from few posts here which kinda path to take to become successful. It's mostly computer science or engineering that are top majors for stable job and opportunities for growth. But I still haven't my goal as I'm completely unaware of what I want. I'm wasting critical time right now doing nothing but overthinking. I wish I had found my passion, interest or purpose in early stage of life but I guess I'm already late now. I feel a lot of pressure now trying to make good money like $100-200k. I guess that's how success is viewed in many people eyes. I feel like I'm stuck in a maze right now trying to figure out my path.

like even when I get my fitness right, even when I get a haircut, I put on some clothes it just doesn't look right. pants end up longer and stacks so when pair with whatever shoes it just looks off. my face is asymmetrical and doesn't photograph well no matter what because it end up showing nose too big/crooked, eyes wonky, smile shows gap in teeth.

And no matter if someone says I look good I just dont see it. Photo says otherwise. sibling says indicate im average. I do skin routine and whatever and Im a guy

like most days I dont like how I look in the mirror esp days where I have a shorter haircut and I realized good looking people will look good in any haircut. even bald.

like even when I get my fitness right, even when I get a haircut, I put on some clothes it just doesn't look right. pants end up longer and stacks so when pair with whatever shoes it just looks off. my face is asymmetrical and doesn't photograph well no matter what because it end up showing nose too big/crooked, eyes wonky, smile shows gap in teeth.

And no matter if someone says I look good I just dont see it. Photo says otherwise. sibling says indicate im average. I do skin routine and whatever and Im a guy

men my age are engaged, married , have kids, bought a house, doing all the adult things and my life is soo bleh.

they all have friends they met in college and stayed in touch with, they all meet other people easily through work, hobbies, etc. They all have a stable job with a great company and a healthy retirement/pension

I work from home, I run a business that is dying, I've been single for a long time, I can't afford a home/barely even making rent payments, I dont have a stable job, I'm not meeting people stuck at home. The only bright side is I'm starting a hobby group and hosting it but it's not working so far.

mentally I'm still 20s, wanting to join sports rec , vacation, and just living. Eventually I want to have a family and kids but I feel every year it is not possible because my life isn't sorted.

I'm doing everything in my power to fix it by learning new stuff, reading more, exercising everyday, building good habits and putting myself out there, but I feel I am not doing enough and running out of time. How can I fix my mindset. How can I stay positive in such trying times? anyone have stories? can relate?

literally starting from scratch with no hope. Always make me feel bad when the few friends I have say they are meeting up with their other friends, or they have plans over the weekend with their gf /wife or they plan a weekend getaway with other people, or stories of their kid growing up. they talk highly about their job/promotions and buying houses already.

the only thing I got is tons of free time, which is why I said I feel 20s

like completely new friends, starting a new career/job that isn't 9-5. my life is just terrible people say no way down but up but I've been trying slowly and nothing is going for me. not the date to find a partner, not new friends, not career. I have all these aspiration but it isn't working

35+ and I want to start anew. like I'm starting a group club, I'm interacting with people in person, I'm reading books to be a better speaker, going to gym to get fit, working on my side hustle/personal endeavors to make it big like investing, and creating a website.

Its like my life isn't fun because I dont have these adult things like family, house, or anything materializing and I'm frustrated.

for anyone who has been in my position what helped you?

like completely new friends, starting a new career/job that isn't 9-5. my life is just terrible people say no way down but up but I've been trying slowly and nothing is going for me. not the date, not news friends, not career. I have all these aspiration but it isn't working

35+ and I want to start anew. like I'm starting a group club, I'm interacting with people in person. I'm reading books to be a better speaker, going to gym to get fit, working on my side hustle to make it big like investing, and creating a website. Its like my life isn't fun because I dont have these adult things and I'm frustrated.

so I have a friend who does top step and spend a lot of screentime. they have a regular job and they said the most volume is 9:30 at open, 3pm and 6pm. they said they could make more if they didn't have a job where they are unable to trade during those hours.

from my understanding they have prop firm where they got a payout for the year of almost 25k. is that consider good? Is there potential to make millions?

is it legit? like how much time goes into it? is it stressful?

or is it some gimmick that is only possible for a select few?

They would like to replace their job doing this full-time eventually

How can I be like that?

not even like in the morning before you go to work. even after leaving the gym. I wonder because I wfh most times and I just walk out looking like whatever to run errands and even to get from place a to place b on the train.

I noticed most women look kept all the time even when they go to groceries (but it could be because they are coming back from work)

I left the gym and I bought my change of clothes and shower and did all of that but When I left and came back my hair was flying all over the place and messy because I didnt bother to comb it. Do most men make sure they look sharp all the time. or , women just do that more?

Also to be honest I dont really noticed another guy not groomed well unless they are obviously homeless so maybe it's just my perspective thing. Idk

sorry not sorry. I've been on the app for only 3 going to 4 years now. I rarely send out like as a guy so when I do match it is USUALLY because they send out the first like.

Time and time again women ghost, dont interact with conversation, and if they do as soon as I set up a meet they disappear.

The optionality paralysis is real. But the funny part of all this is THEY STILL CONTINUE TO BE ON THE APP year after year.

You have all these so call options, you get to send out to guys you actually like and you're still single. Yeah.. no sympathy

The app can give you the stars and you still will say that's not good enough

like big city like nyc, Miami, you have software engineers making 200k, then you have PE and hedge funds making 500k, lawyers, doctors, etc and that all requires lots of schooling and tons of experiences.

is there anything that can make you high income without education/job?

most would say businesses but that is so broad and many fail and you'll literally have to do everything to bring it to success by hiring the right talent for your vision.

real estate could be good but you have to have a good track record and proof and skill to get high earners to spend to live off commission

I often wonder if there is actually opportunities around us as a lot of people on here say, because if there were people wouldn't resort working a job for others or going through schooling

my business is suffering, I hear a lot of layoff, people talking about the economy, crypto down, market down. where is the money being funneled?

people with high paying salary jobs like nurses, doctors, lawyers, techies, how ya still have jobs? who are paying you? how are companies profitable?

arent we heading down to a depression? I'm definitely feeling it. it seems society is feeling it with fertility rate going down because how are they suppose to keep up with inflation and raising families?

are we just turning a blind eye and believe we all going to have stable jobs, working everyday like its halluejah ? it seems there's influx of people going to work 9-5 everyday and just making tons of tons of money

Obviously not trying to paint a broad brush but

hear hear I read so many times that women may have options but they arent good options. Whether that is true or not depends on your perspective.

Alas, In my own experience I've recently had a girl sent me a ROSE. never got that in my life. Matched with her. She seemed excited we go chatting, it seems like it was leading up to meeting up because she asked for it. As soon as I tell her Im available next week. She goes radio silent. (and no she's not a bot. verified, real person because trust me

you telling me within that 1 week she either lost interest completely or you're on to the next guy?

With other women it's the same thing. I tell this women a few years back that I was going on a trip for 1 week and will be back. come back and she writes me that she met someone else and she deletes her profile.

Now tell me these women who are actively looking arent find the right guy left and right. Idk how you can claim the app isn't good for ya.

for us men, we have it infinitely harder. when we have a women interested in us, we 99% go all in. We like reciprocity as we know it is rare. If you can't even wait and dont even have the DECENCY to even reply back is insane when they were all kind and sweet in the beginning.

It's def not a loss but I see the pattern

Like epiphany hit me hard because I spent the better half of my life on this business back when Ebay was growing and I'm lucky to see it is still here and other platforms to sell, and it was doing quite well for a good time so that's why I continued.

but I see and hear people in tech making 200k per year and product manager and all these other jobs that give them stability, stock options, healthcare, etc and I'm like I wasted all this time just reselling full time?

esp with tariff and people just not buying second hand I can't help but feel so behind.

these people are stable. they have expendable income. they have structure. they have potential to make so much more when they rise /promoted and when their company does well so does their value. people respect them, people never question what they do, etc

I've been doing this 15+ years and nothing to show for it.

like in my hobby group chat one of them invited their friend. her friend is a very attractive women (from her profile pic) and everyone came out of the woodwork to welcome her/make her feel welcome. I noticed with other new members they dont get the same amount of attention. maybe I'm over reading this?

maybe its a girl thing. Like I can imagine if a guy invited another guy into a group chat and he's a beauty I would imagine the guys wouldn't give that guy attention because of competition?

but then why do other girls welcome girls without that sort of competition?

again I may just be overanalyzing but I dont think so.

like say you join a hobby where younger people (a decade) and you're around a lot of youthful looking and full of life. how do you navigate? Don;t get me wrong I still have that zest for life and have young energy but I think the age disparity is holding me back.

it's not like I have my life together w/ house, car, career, family.

and what if you meet someone you like who happen to be much younger, how do you get out of your head they think you're a loser/creep?

can you? trying to put curtains and worried about not being able to and will resort to tension rods