u/aleheinous

does anyone else have this

id like to know your experience if anybody is comfy sharing

first post here !!
i’ll start:
social, selective and generalised (also tied to StPD)

aaaa

dude if you really wanted to advocate for us, you wouldn’t judge us for unmasking

for context: the school trip was a trip organised by the english department from england to romania, i was already miserable (teachers know) before my phone was taken and i am autistic along side some other conditions
(adhd, double depression, anxiety, conduct disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, bpd, hpd, stpd, cptsd, pdid) (all diagnosed) and have the highest support needs out of everyone in my grade.

a few days ago i came back from a school trip and i’m still struggling to process what happened.

the rule on the trip was that we could have our phones during the day and hand them in at night. one evening i became overstimulated and left my room because i needed support. later, my phone was taken. i was told i’d get it back after breakfast the next morning, but that never happened. instead, it was kept from me for most of the day as a consequence.

what frustrates me is that i wasn’t the only person using my phone a lot. loads of people were on their phones throughout the trip, especially during long coach journeys, and i definitely wasn’t the only person asking for chargers either. one of the reasons given was battery conservation, but there were multiple people whose batteries were low and multiple people asking staff for charging opportunities. it felt like i was being singled out for behaviour that wasn’t unique to me.

another thing people don’t seem to understand is that i’m one of the only people on the trip who didn’t really have a friendship group there. a lot of other students had friends to spend time with, talk to, sit with, and keep themselves occupied. i didn’t. my phone wasn’t replacing social interaction for me, it was often the only thing keeping me occupied and distracted from my own thoughts during long periods of downtime, especially on coach journeys that lasted for hours.

my phone also isn’t just a phone to me. i sometimes go non-verbal and it’s my main way of communicating. it’s where i keep my money, important information, contacts, coping tools, routines, distractions, and things that help me regulate. without it, i don’t just get bored, i lose a huge amount of independence and support.

when it was taken, i couldn’t communicate properly, couldn’t access my money, couldn’t contact people, and couldn’t use the things that normally help me cope when i’m overwhelmed. i was told that the level of distress i was showing meant i was “addicted”, but from my perspective i was panicking because i’d lost my main communication method and one of my biggest coping tools. even if someone genuinely believed it was an addiction, suddenly removing something from a distressed teenager without support isn’t a solution.

throughout the day i became more and more distressed. i felt like every time i got more overwhelmed, it was treated as proof that taking my phone was the right decision instead of a sign that i was genuinely struggling.

during a long coach journey there was constant noise from the bus itself as well as students playing music through a speaker. i didn’t have headphones and had no way to block it out. one of the songs that was played is associated with a traumatic experience for me. hearing it repeatedly while already overwhelmed was horrible. i couldn’t escape it, couldn’t block it out, and couldn’t properly communicate how badly it was affecting me because i was struggling to communicate in general.

at one point i ended up having a breakdown in public because everything became too much. i felt trapped, overwhelmed, unable to communicate, and unable to calm myself down. instead of feeling supported, i felt like the situation was continuing to escalate around me.

there were practical problems too. at one point i couldn’t buy food because my money was on my phone. there were no staff nearby and i had no way of contacting anyone because i didn’t have my phone. i ended up waiting around an hour before a member of staff was able to help me get food.

this was especially difficult because i have iron deficiency anaemia. i had already been struggling to eat properly during parts of the trip because there weren’t many foods available that i could eat comfortably, and there weren’t many iron-rich options either. by that point i was already feeling physically exhausted, dizzy, and unwell, so being unable to access food when i needed it made things even worse.

something else that has made everything harder is that i’ve heard different explanations afterwards about why my phone was taken. some reasons that have been given later weren’t the reasons being given to me at the time. that has left me feeling confused because it feels like the explanation keeps changing depending on who is being spoken to.

the biggest thing i’ve taken away from all of this is that people keep talking about a phone, but for me it wasn’t about a phone. it was about losing my ability to communicate, regulate, access support, access money, access information, and feel safe. it was about having a comfort item and coping tool removed while i was already struggling.

since coming home i’ve been having panic attacks when i think about it. i feel anxious about going back to school, i feel unsafe around the department that organised the trip, and i don’t feel like people fully understand the impact it had on me.

i know some people will probably read this and think “it’s just a phone.” but when your phone is your communication aid, your coping tool, your way of accessing money, your connection to support, and one of the main things helping you regulate in an overwhelming environment, it stops being “just a phone.” as of now, i feel insanely unsafe around the english teachers, yet alone even attending school (theres already ongoing issues)

for context: the school trip was a trip organised by the english department from england to romania, i was already miserable (teachers know) before my phone was taken and i am autistic along side some other conditions
(adhd, double depression, anxiety, conduct disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, bpd, hpd, stpd, cptsd, pdid) (all diagnosed) and have the highest support needs out of everyone in my grade.

a few days ago i came back from a school trip and i’m still struggling to process what happened.

the rule on the trip was that we could have our phones during the day and hand them in at night. one evening i became overstimulated and left my room because i needed support. later, my phone was taken. i was told i’d get it back after breakfast the next morning, but that never happened. instead, it was kept from me for most of the day as a consequence.

what frustrates me is that i wasn’t the only person using my phone a lot. loads of people were on their phones throughout the trip, especially during long coach journeys, and i definitely wasn’t the only person asking for chargers either. one of the reasons given was battery conservation, but there were multiple people whose batteries were low and multiple people asking staff for charging opportunities. it felt like i was being singled out for behaviour that wasn’t unique to me.

another thing people don’t seem to understand is that i’m one of the only people on the trip who didn’t really have a friendship group there. a lot of other students had friends to spend time with, talk to, sit with, and keep themselves occupied. i didn’t. my phone wasn’t replacing social interaction for me, it was often the only thing keeping me occupied and distracted from my own thoughts during long periods of downtime, especially on coach journeys that lasted for hours.

my phone also isn’t just a phone to me. i sometimes go non-verbal and it’s my main way of communicating. it’s where i keep my money, important information, contacts, coping tools, routines, distractions, and things that help me regulate. without it, i don’t just get bored, i lose a huge amount of independence and support.

when it was taken, i couldn’t communicate properly, couldn’t access my money, couldn’t contact people, and couldn’t use the things that normally help me cope when i’m overwhelmed. i was told that the level of distress i was showing meant i was “addicted”, but from my perspective i was panicking because i’d lost my main communication method and one of my biggest coping tools. even if someone genuinely believed it was an addiction, suddenly removing something from a distressed teenager without support isn’t a solution.

throughout the day i became more and more distressed. i felt like every time i got more overwhelmed, it was treated as proof that taking my phone was the right decision instead of a sign that i was genuinely struggling.

during a long coach journey there was constant noise from the bus itself as well as students playing music through a speaker. i didn’t have headphones and had no way to block it out. one of the songs that was played is associated with a traumatic experience for me. hearing it repeatedly while already overwhelmed was horrible. i couldn’t escape it, couldn’t block it out, and couldn’t properly communicate how badly it was affecting me because i was struggling to communicate in general.

at one point i ended up having a breakdown in public because everything became too much. i felt trapped, overwhelmed, unable to communicate, and unable to calm myself down. instead of feeling supported, i felt like the situation was continuing to escalate around me.

there were practical problems too. at one point i couldn’t buy food because my money was on my phone. there were no staff nearby and i had no way of contacting anyone because i didn’t have my phone. i ended up waiting around an hour before a member of staff was able to help me get food.

this was especially difficult because i have iron deficiency anaemia. i had already been struggling to eat properly during parts of the trip because there weren’t many foods available that i could eat comfortably, and there weren’t many iron-rich options either. by that point i was already feeling physically exhausted, dizzy, and unwell, so being unable to access food when i needed it made things even worse.

something else that has made everything harder is that i’ve heard different explanations afterwards about why my phone was taken. some reasons that have been given later weren’t the reasons being given to me at the time. that has left me feeling confused because it feels like the explanation keeps changing depending on who is being spoken to.

the biggest thing i’ve taken away from all of this is that people keep talking about a phone, but for me it wasn’t about a phone. it was about losing my ability to communicate, regulate, access support, access money, access information, and feel safe. it was about having a comfort item and coping tool removed while i was already struggling.

since coming home i’ve been having panic attacks when i think about it. i feel anxious about going back to school, i feel unsafe around the department that organised the trip, and i don’t feel like people fully understand the impact it had on me.

i know some people will probably read this and think “it’s just a phone.” but when your phone is your communication aid, your coping tool, your way of accessing money, your connection to support, and one of the main things helping you regulate in an overwhelming environment, it stops being “just a phone.” as of now, i feel insanely unsafe around the english teachers, yet alone even attending school (theres already ongoing issues)

for context: the school trip was a trip organised by the english department from england to romania, i was already miserable (teachers know) before my phone was taken and i am autistic along side some other conditions
(adhd, double depression, anxiety, conduct disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, bpd, hpd, stpd, cptsd, pdid) (all diagnosed) and have the highest support needs out of everyone in my grade.

a few days ago i came back from a school trip and i’m still struggling to process what happened.

the rule on the trip was that we could have our phones during the day and hand them in at night. one evening i became overstimulated and left my room because i needed support. later, my phone was taken. i was told i’d get it back after breakfast the next morning, but that never happened. instead, it was kept from me for most of the day as a consequence.

what frustrates me is that i wasn’t the only person using my phone a lot. loads of people were on their phones throughout the trip, especially during long coach journeys, and i definitely wasn’t the only person asking for chargers either. one of the reasons given was battery conservation, but there were multiple people whose batteries were low and multiple people asking staff for charging opportunities. it felt like i was being singled out for behaviour that wasn’t unique to me.

another thing people don’t seem to understand is that i’m one of the only people on the trip who didn’t really have a friendship group there. a lot of other students had friends to spend time with, talk to, sit with, and keep themselves occupied. i didn’t. my phone wasn’t replacing social interaction for me, it was often the only thing keeping me occupied and distracted from my own thoughts during long periods of downtime, especially on coach journeys that lasted for hours.

my phone also isn’t just a phone to me. i sometimes go non-verbal and it’s my main way of communicating. it’s where i keep my money, important information, contacts, coping tools, routines, distractions, and things that help me regulate. without it, i don’t just get bored, i lose a huge amount of independence and support.

when it was taken, i couldn’t communicate properly, couldn’t access my money, couldn’t contact people, and couldn’t use the things that normally help me cope when i’m overwhelmed. i was told that the level of distress i was showing meant i was “addicted”, but from my perspective i was panicking because i’d lost my main communication method and one of my biggest coping tools. even if someone genuinely believed it was an addiction, suddenly removing something from a distressed teenager without support isn’t a solution.

throughout the day i became more and more distressed. i felt like every time i got more overwhelmed, it was treated as proof that taking my phone was the right decision instead of a sign that i was genuinely struggling.

during a long coach journey there was constant noise from the bus itself as well as students playing music through a speaker. i didn’t have headphones and had no way to block it out. one of the songs that was played is associated with a traumatic experience for me. hearing it repeatedly while already overwhelmed was horrible. i couldn’t escape it, couldn’t block it out, and couldn’t properly communicate how badly it was affecting me because i was struggling to communicate in general.

at one point i ended up having a breakdown in public because everything became too much. i felt trapped, overwhelmed, unable to communicate, and unable to calm myself down. instead of feeling supported, i felt like the situation was continuing to escalate around me.

there were practical problems too. at one point i couldn’t buy food because my money was on my phone. there were no staff nearby and i had no way of contacting anyone because i didn’t have my phone. i ended up waiting around an hour before a member of staff was able to help me get food.

this was especially difficult because i have iron deficiency anaemia. i had already been struggling to eat properly during parts of the trip because there weren’t many foods available that i could eat comfortably, and there weren’t many iron-rich options either. by that point i was already feeling physically exhausted, dizzy, and unwell, so being unable to access food when i needed it made things even worse.

something else that has made everything harder is that i’ve heard different explanations afterwards about why my phone was taken. some reasons that have been given later weren’t the reasons being given to me at the time. that has left me feeling confused because it feels like the explanation keeps changing depending on who is being spoken to.

the biggest thing i’ve taken away from all of this is that people keep talking about a phone, but for me it wasn’t about a phone. it was about losing my ability to communicate, regulate, access support, access money, access information, and feel safe. it was about having a comfort item and coping tool removed while i was already struggling.

since coming home i’ve been having panic attacks when i think about it. i feel anxious about going back to school, i feel unsafe around the department that organised the trip, and i don’t feel like people fully understand the impact it had on me.

i know some people will probably read this and think “it’s just a phone.” but when your phone is your communication aid, your coping tool, your way of accessing money, your connection to support, and one of the main things helping you regulate in an overwhelming environment, it stops being “just a phone.” as of now, i feel insanely unsafe around the english teachers, yet alone even attending school (theres already ongoing issues)

for context: the school trip was a trip organised by the english department from england to romania, i was already miserable (teachers know) before my phone was taken and i am autistic along side some other conditions
(adhd, double depression, anxiety, conduct disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, bpd, hpd, stpd, cptsd, pdid) (all diagnosed) and have the highest support needs out of everyone in my grade.

a few days ago i came back from a school trip and i’m still struggling to process what happened.

the rule on the trip was that we could have our phones during the day and hand them in at night. one evening i became overstimulated and left my room because i needed support. later, my phone was taken. i was told i’d get it back after breakfast the next morning, but that never happened. instead, it was kept from me for most of the day as a consequence.

what frustrates me is that i wasn’t the only person using my phone a lot. loads of people were on their phones throughout the trip, especially during long coach journeys, and i definitely wasn’t the only person asking for chargers either. one of the reasons given was battery conservation, but there were multiple people whose batteries were low and multiple people asking staff for charging opportunities. it felt like i was being singled out for behaviour that wasn’t unique to me.

another thing people don’t seem to understand is that i’m one of the only people on the trip who didn’t really have a friendship group there. a lot of other students had friends to spend time with, talk to, sit with, and keep themselves occupied. i didn’t. my phone wasn’t replacing social interaction for me, it was often the only thing keeping me occupied and distracted from my own thoughts during long periods of downtime, especially on coach journeys that lasted for hours.

my phone also isn’t just a phone to me. i sometimes go non-verbal and it’s my main way of communicating. it’s where i keep my money, important information, contacts, coping tools, routines, distractions, and things that help me regulate. without it, i don’t just get bored, i lose a huge amount of independence and support.

when it was taken, i couldn’t communicate properly, couldn’t access my money, couldn’t contact people, and couldn’t use the things that normally help me cope when i’m overwhelmed. i was told that the level of distress i was showing meant i was “addicted”, but from my perspective i was panicking because i’d lost my main communication method and one of my biggest coping tools. even if someone genuinely believed it was an addiction, suddenly removing something from a distressed teenager without support isn’t a solution.

throughout the day i became more and more distressed. i felt like every time i got more overwhelmed, it was treated as proof that taking my phone was the right decision instead of a sign that i was genuinely struggling.

during a long coach journey there was constant noise from the bus itself as well as students playing music through a speaker. i didn’t have headphones and had no way to block it out. one of the songs that was played is associated with a traumatic experience for me. hearing it repeatedly while already overwhelmed was horrible. i couldn’t escape it, couldn’t block it out, and couldn’t properly communicate how badly it was affecting me because i was struggling to communicate in general.

at one point i ended up having a breakdown in public because everything became too much. i felt trapped, overwhelmed, unable to communicate, and unable to calm myself down. instead of feeling supported, i felt like the situation was continuing to escalate around me.

there were practical problems too. at one point i couldn’t buy food because my money was on my phone. there were no staff nearby and i had no way of contacting anyone because i didn’t have my phone. i ended up waiting around an hour before a member of staff was able to help me get food.

this was especially difficult because i have iron deficiency anaemia. i had already been struggling to eat properly during parts of the trip because there weren’t many foods available that i could eat comfortably, and there weren’t many iron-rich options either. by that point i was already feeling physically exhausted, dizzy, and unwell, so being unable to access food when i needed it made things even worse.

something else that has made everything harder is that i’ve heard different explanations afterwards about why my phone was taken. some reasons that have been given later weren’t the reasons being given to me at the time. that has left me feeling confused because it feels like the explanation keeps changing depending on who is being spoken to.

the biggest thing i’ve taken away from all of this is that people keep talking about a phone, but for me it wasn’t about a phone. it was about losing my ability to communicate, regulate, access support, access money, access information, and feel safe. it was about having a comfort item and coping tool removed while i was already struggling.

since coming home i’ve been having panic attacks when i think about it. i feel anxious about going back to school, i feel unsafe around the department that organised the trip, and i don’t feel like people fully understand the impact it had on me.

i know some people will probably read this and think “it’s just a phone.” but when your phone is your communication aid, your coping tool, your way of accessing money, your connection to support, and one of the main things helping you regulate in an overwhelming environment, it stops being “just a phone.” as of now, i feel insanely unsafe around the english teachers, yet alone even attending school (theres already ongoing issues)

mnifestation is something i do believe in; recently my mnifestation, spells (with protection), and prayers from others havent been working/have been completely backfiring on me.
could someone please tell me wtfs going on. i think ive been hexed/cursed.

mnifestation & spells are something i do believe in; recently my mnifestation, spells (with protection), and prayers from others havent been working/have been completely backfiring on me.
could someone please tell me wtfs going on. i think ive been hexed/cursed.

mnifestation is something i do believe in; recently my mnifestation, spells (with protection), and prayers from others havent been working/have been completely backfiring on me.
could someone please tell me wtfs going on. i think ive been hexed/cursed.

mnifestation is something i do believe in; recently my mnifestation, spells (with protection), and prayers from others havent been working/have been completely backfiring on me.
could someone please tell me wtfs going on. i think ive been hexed/cursed.

i already have some alters tracked but i can’t really identify who’s fronting most of the time and it’s making me feel kinda invalid.

it’s not that nothing is happening, it just feels blurry or like i can’t catch switches properly in the moment. i only really notice stuff after or when i look back at patterns.

has anyone else dealt with this? how did you get better at noticing fronts or distinguishing who’s who?

i’m just feeling a bit stuck and confused rn, any advice would help.

i already have some alters tracked but i can’t really identify who’s fronting most of the time and it’s making me feel kinda invalid.

it’s not that nothing is happening, it just feels blurry or like i can’t catch switches properly in the moment. i only really notice stuff after or when i look back at patterns.

has anyone else dealt with this? how did you get better at noticing fronts or distinguishing who’s who?

i’m just feeling a bit stuck and confused rn, any advice would help.

tips?

tips?

you see
i’m trying to make a visual novel
except i need sprites
i can’t draw, i don’t have the money to commission anybody professional,
nor can i find someone who’s willing to draw in the style i want for something still in my budget.
the thing is
i really don’t want to use ai.
and i’m not willing to make my visual novel without having sprites.
i’m genuinely at a loss of options at this point
i don’t know what to do
all advice is appreciated

im not contradicting myself however whenever i manifest one thing the entire opposite happenz