u/kcvlaine

GUYS. this monkey paw balancing has to END.

look, i hate arrowshed, kneeglass mlemborg, juan pylonhead, and chums germany as much as the next guy - but even i still actually play the game. but now, it's getting to the point where im gonna leave a bad review on the swedish embassy in my city. why are they balancing monkey's paws?? I heard they're doing it on reddit! This is an animal rights violation. its ok if monkey's paws are not balanced, there's no need whatsoever of surgical intervention. let nature take its course. stop this madness Sparrowbread Studios, or I'm gonna uninstall the game 3 times a day. that'll teach you!!

Do you think you directly represent the undelivered wishes of the entire playerbase? If so, what proves this? For example - you could advocate for mech customization ASAP because you believe everyone wants mech customization more than anything else - but what exactly makes you think that's really what the playerbase wants priotized? Sure, everyone would like it, but what research/data makes you think that's actually a priority for a vast majority of players?

Or do you think the playerbase at large doesn't know what's good for the game nor what they really want, they just play it in whatever state it is in and YOU know what they need better than they do?

I believe helldivers 2 is actually a game about predicting movement, more than anything else.

Many mechanics push you to stand still while enemies force you to run - and knowing just how long you can stop moving in a given situation is ultimately what decides success, even more than aim IMO.

Now here's where light and medium pen come into play.

Light pen weapons demand WAY more than just accuracy - because accuracy in this game DEMANDS a sacrifice of movement - which in turn DEMANDS that you can predict all enemy movements around you, their attack speeds, turn speeds, etc.

Medium pen is more versatile and useful in more situations - which demands less accuracy and many community members think these weapons are just for spray and pray players who don't want to learn enemy armour values in detail. However, these weapons have wilder recoil patterns, slower ergonomics, more spread (I believe), etc. Using them effectively demands are better sense of weapon handling than light pen weapons.

So light pen primaries demand you know ENEMIES more. Medium pen primaries demand you know your WEAPON more. They're meant for different mindsets entirely imo.

I believe helldivers 2 is actually a game about predicting movement, more than anything else.

Many mechanics push you to stand still while enemies force you to run - and knowing just how long you can stop moving in a given situation is ultimately what decides success, even more than aim IMO.

Now here's where light and medium pen come into play.

Light pen weapons demand WAY more than just accuracy - because accuracy in this game DEMANDS a sacrifice of movement - which in turn DEMANDS that you can predict all enemy movements around you, their attack speeds, turn speeds, etc.

Medium pen is more versatile and useful in more situations - which demands less accuracy and many community members think these weapons are just for spray and pray players who don't want to learn enemy armour values in detail. However, these weapons have wilder recoil patterns, slower ergonomics, more spread (I believe), etc. Using them effectively demands are better sense of weapon handling than light pen weapons.

So light pen primaries demand you know ENEMIES more. Medium pen primaries demand you know your WEAPON more. They're meant for different mindsets entirely imo.

I believe helldivers 2 is actually a game about predicting movement, more than anything else.

Many mechanics push you to stand still while enemies force you to run - and knowing just how long you can stop moving in a given situation is ultimately what decides success, even more than aim IMO.

Now here's where light and medium pen come into play.

Light pen weapons demand WAY more than just accuracy - because accuracy in this game DEMANDS a sacrifice of movement - which in turn DEMANDS that you can predict all enemy movements around you, their attack speeds, turn speeds, etc.

Medium pen is more versatile and useful in more situations - which demands less accuracy and many community members think these weapons are just for spray and pray players who don't want to learn enemy armour values in detail. However, these weapons have wilder recoil patterns, slower ergonomics, more spread (I believe), etc. Using them effectively demands are better sense of weapon handling than light pen weapons.

So light pen primaries demand you know ENEMIES more. Medium pen primaries demand you know your WEAPON more. They're meant for different mindsets entirely imo.

Liberator:
You just bought the game.

Liberator Penetrator:
You bought the game yesterday.

Liberator Concussive/Pacifier/ Pummeler/ Halt:
You contribute nothing in group projects

Liberator Carbine: You are sexually attracted to the Stalwart but she's out of your league.

One-two/ Stoker:
Pretentious Hipster. You spend most of your day at Starbucks with a laptop eating avocado in various forms.

MA5C/M90A:
Millennial gamer. You get aroused to the dial-up connection sound.

StA-52/StA-11/Gallant/ Cookout/ Breaker Spray and Pray/ DE Sickle:
You have rabies.

Coyote:
Get off the Playstation and go do your fucking homework.

Tenderizer:
You drive with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your partner's knee. You've been together at LEAST 5 years.

Suppressor/ Censor/ M7S Suppressed SMG:
You ask your girlfriend to address you as Agent 47 in bed. You're in bed dreaming of course, because you don't have a girlfriend.

Adjudicator/ Reprimand/ Slugger:
You have anger issues but nobody knows it. You keep it all bottled inside. You know that therapy helps people but you will never get it yourself.

Constitution:
You're a youtuber and you are currently recording a meme run because you're out of ideas.

Amendment:
You are sexually attracted to Swiss army knives.

Deadeye:
You are sexually attracted to Clint Eastwood. In 2026.

Diligence:
Your favourite pastime in school was spitballing people in the back of the head.

Diligence Counter Sniper:
Same as before but you were a slightly better student. And you smell like Axe deodorant.

Defender:
You use the Ballistic Shield - even against bugs. You love norse mythology but your exposure to it is purely through the MCU.

Punisher:
You are VERY submissive and breedable but you're also very tall so nobody would ever guess.

Breaker:
You are a very responsible person. You are the designated driver of the gang and make sure everyone gets home safe after parties.

Breaker Incendiary:
You are the dumbest person in your friend group, like, it's almost funny how dumb you are - but everyone loves you.

Double Freedom/ dominator/ Sweeper:
You have a big dick AND STILL want to own the biggest truck/SUV/pickup on the market.

Eruptor:
Sheldon Cooper energy. You're intelligent but somehow also prone to irrationality.

Crossbow:
You wear sunglasses indoors.

Punisher Plasma:
You are very verbose and absolutely insufferable in arguments. Stop being indirect and get to the fucking point.

Accelerator:
You are sexually attracted to the Scorcher but she thinks you're a fucking dork.

Blitzer:
You're vegan or you will go vegan eventually.

Scythe:
You have really good fashion sense.

Sickle:
You boast about your air fryer. Granted, you make great stuff in the air fryer - but you've talked about it twice in one hour already.

Scorcher:
You're good looking. Like, definitely at least above average overall. It's the best thing about your personality, and that's exactly why you will do well in life.

Trident/Variable:
You have ADHD.

Purifier:
You like Astrophysics, Anthropology, and probably have strong political opinions.

Torcher:
You killed ants with a magnifying glass when you were a kid.

Liberator:
You just bought the game.

Liberator Penetrator:
You bought the game yesterday.

Liberator Concussive/Pacifier/ Pummeler/ Halt:
You contribute nothing in group projects

Liberator Carbine: You are sexually attracted to the Stalwart but she's out of your league.

One-two/ Stoker:
Pretentious Hipster. You spend most of your day at Starbucks with a laptop eating avocado in various forms.

MA5C/M90A:
Millennial gamer. You get aroused to the dial-up connection sound.

StA-52/StA-11/Gallant/ Cookout/ Breaker Spray and Pray/ DE Sickle:
You have rabies.

Coyote:
Get off the Playstation and go do your fucking homework.

Tenderizer:
You drive with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your partner's knee. You've been together at LEAST 5 years.

Suppressor/ Censor/ M7S Suppressed SMG:
You ask your girlfriend to address you as Agent 47 in bed. You're in bed dreaming of course, because you don't have a girlfriend.

Adjudicator/ Reprimand/ Slugger:
You have anger issues but nobody knows it. You keep it all bottled inside. You know that therapy helps people but you will never get it yourself.

Constitution:
You're a youtuber and you are currently recording a meme run because you're out of ideas.

Amendment:
You are sexually attracted to Swiss army knives.

Deadeye:
You are sexually attracted to Clint Eastwood. In 2026.

Diligence:
Your favourite pastime in school was spitballing people in the back of the head.

Diligence Counter Sniper:
Same as before but you were a slightly better student. And you smell like Axe deodorant.

Defender:
You use the Ballistic Shield - even against bugs. You love norse mythology but your exposure to it is purely through the MCU.

Punisher:
You are VERY submissive and breedable but you're also very tall so nobody would ever guess.

Breaker:
You are a very responsible person. You are the designated driver of the gang and make sure everyone gets home safe after parties.

Breaker Incendiary:
You are the dumbest person in your friend group, like, it's almost funny how dumb you are - but everyone loves you.

Double Freedom/ dominator/ Sweeper:
You have a big dick AND STILL want to own the biggest truck/SUV/pickup on the market.

Eruptor:
Sheldon Cooper energy. You're intelligent but somehow also prone to irrationality.

Crossbow:
You wear sunglasses indoors.

Punisher Plasma:
You are very verbose and absolutely insufferable in arguments. Stop being indirect and get to the fucking point.

Accelerator:
You are sexually attracted to the Scorcher but she thinks you're a fucking dork.

Blitzer:
You're vegan or you will go vegan eventually.

Scythe:
You have really good fashion sense.

Sickle:
You boast about your air fryer. Granted, you make great stuff in the air fryer - but you've talked about it twice in one hour already.

Scorcher:
You're good looking. Like, definitely at least above average overall. It's the best thing about your personality, and that's exactly why you will do well in life.

Trident/Variable:
You have ADHD.

Purifier:
You like Astrophysics, Anthropology, and probably have strong political opinions.

Torcher:
You killed ants with a magnifying glass when you were a kid.

Hi gang, I've run this little poll across the major subreddits. It's our turn. Thanks for the help!

View Poll

1. Never do it just to make someone else happy.

2. Never do it if you're feeling zero enthusiasm, excitement, curiosity about and are mainly feeling negative feelings/hesitation.

3. Never do it without having some kind of support system/source of advice from experienced non-monogamous friends/reddit, video essays, books, whatever, never do it blind.

4. Never do it without having a vision for it, basically without understanding what you want from it specifically and why.

5. Never do it with people who don't take STI testing seriously

6. Never do it without considering things like bandwidth - mental, financial, and time bandwidth. It often takes more bandwidth than monogamy, especially if you're a beginner.

7. Never do it if you don't have a handle on your own mental health. Not saying you HAVE to be in therapy but you should at least understand your tendencies, biases, traumas, and have found ways to avoid them screwing up your relationships because they will all probably show up in full force in non-mono.

If you've spoken to a bunch of non mono people, gotten some advice, set up a support system to help you transition away from monogamous conditioning, are genuinely excited (even though you might be nervous, that's okay), have a handle on your bandwidth and mental health and are interested in being considerate to the desires, preferences, boundaries of everyone involved - including your own - then yes start thinking about it.

Gunships are feeling absolutely brutal and within certain ranges bots of all sizes are really landing shots. I love it honestly, and I'm wondering if it's just me noticing this over the last few weeks.

Multiple mechanics in the game tell us to stand still in a game where enemies are constantly rushing us.

Recoil, sway reduction when standing (and even more when crouched and prone)
Recoil reduction when crouched armour passive
Stationary reloads
Emplacements
Terminals
Mission objectives that require defending positions
Waiting minutes for extraction (when all gear-delivery pelicans are WAY faster)
Reduced damage from explosions and fire by going prone
Chargeup weapons (that also prevent running)
etc. etc.

The game is CONSTANTLY challenging us to stay still for various lengths of time - while on the clock to cover the entire map.
The ONLY way you can stay still and not die is by fully understanding the speeds of all enemies. Their movement speed, turn speed, attack speed, attack "cooldown", reload speeds, etc. This allows you to understand how much TIME you have to reload, stay still, take a shot, etc. It all comes down to this, more than anything else.

If you have an incredible sense of timing and situational awareness, you will ace this game.
It's the least talked about thing in this entire community.

View Poll

View Poll