u/laininthewired_

i’m not complaining about this i just want to see if it happens to anyone else. when im riding for about an hour or two my body gets like weird motion vertigo. almost like i can’t tell if im going fast or slow. and if i stop carving and ride in a straight line my body gets all weird and i feel as if im about to fall. and then when you stop riding you kinda have some weird motion sickness going on. happen to anyone ?

If you are familiar with the second channel, “The Trip Keeper”, my video was called “How Delsym and Mucinex destroy the mind”. This is going to be a part 2 of that report, but not in a traditional way. I posted part 2 shortly after the video was uploaded but it didn’t gain traction like the first one, and looking back it is because it wasn’t a trip report anymore. It was a long story with far too many useless details. Today, I am going to recount the most significant and worthy events after I overdosed at the mental hospital. I am not going to follow a concise timeline, instead I am going to focus more on the actual high dose intoxicating events. It is going to be like mini trip reports all in one format. I hope you enjoy it and if this makes it to the channel I encourage you to watch my original video to get context. 

I am going to quickly go over how I spent 10 months in residential treatment because it is a confusing amount of time. I went to the mental hospital after the overdose for about 2 weeks. After that I went to the first residential facility for 45 days. This was a traditional “rehab”. I caused enough trouble there to land myself in a boys home for 5 months. It was for boys under 18 who just got out of juvie or had drug problems. After I convinced my family of how bad the place was, I went to a co-ed residential facility for the remainder of the time. I hope that clears up any confusion because I think most people thought I stayed at one facility for 10 months.

RECOUNT #1

This story took place before my rehab stay, but I think it is a good one to tell. 

I was dumb enough this day to take a trip on Benadryl. I stole a whole normal sized box during lunch and had them in my backpack waiting for me that night. I don’t even remember researching dosages but I ended up taking enough to only have 3 left in the box.

I had a room with no windows and a TV, so I was in the pitch black dark watching something and waiting for them to kick in. I was expecting something similar to DXM but wasn’t getting my hopes high. After about an hour I noticed my body was getting increasingly heavy. My mind was feeling spacey but nothing too bad yet.

After about another 30 mins it was hitting me hard. I had that feeling when Benadryl kicked in that everything was strange. Like you look around you and everything is just so offputting and sinister. My time dilated and suddenly I was in the thick of it. After zoning out and zoning back in I got jumpscared and let out a small shriek.

Standing in front of me looked like a small child with a white blanket over their head and body, like a ghost halloween costume. I began breathing heavily and believed my little sibling was in the room. I said “you scared me so bad” and wiped my hand through the blanket. Instintaneously, the blanket exploded into thousands of spiders.

I shot back into the couch and stared in disbelief. I heard the sound of thousands of legs crawling, and pincers snapping. I could see their red beady eyes and the hair on their abdomen. They were covering the white door that was slightly illuminated by the tv’s glow. I was too scared to touch the door for the rest of the night so i layed down with the blanket over my head and passed out in a delirious stupor to the sound of crawling legs. 

This was the second and final time I took benadryl. I do not remember why I didn't just do DXM but I got my hands on benadryl tonight. Unlike the last trip, I took much less and laid in a well lit room with music playing in my earbuds. Music on benadryl is so weird and it sounds like mush but also reverberates through your whole body.

Also unlike my last trip, there was only one massive spider crawling around my room. It had massive white legs and a tiny head and was crawling all over my LED lights. The night was mostly like this until I went to sleep at about 3am. I woke up to my parents staring at me and discussing if they should call an ambulance. I was so confused and sat up in my bed and tried to figure out what the hell was going on and how I got caught.

Apparently my parents woke up to a loud banging sound at 5am and it was coming from my room. They opened my door, and apparently my eyes were open and I was repeatedly walking into the wall, over and over again. They were speaking to me and I was in a trance with the wall. While this was happening they found an empty box of benadryl in my bag along with empty DXM boxes in my closet. 

RECOUNT #2 

It was a normal hangout with a few friends. Earlier in the day we had built a cross joint, and we were just waiting a bit to smoke it. I had recently discovered that I could achieve a little bit of a high when I take 3-4 of my Seroquel pills and smoke. I had a strong weed tolerance at this point and I wanted this joint to really hit me hard. I made the decision to take 6 and ½ of my seroquel pills, which were 250mg each, so a total of 1,625mg.

As we were hanging out and I was waiting for these to hit, a strange feeling overcame me. I had not felt this feeling since I took a whole box of benadryl when I was younger, and it is hard to describe. It is as if you suddenly find yourself in a different reality, a dark and paranoid one. You look around you and everything looks foreign.

Anyways i realized i am in for a trip and started smoking the joint. If any of you have smoked weed on Seroquel, you know it's a dangerous game. The worst cottonmouth you could ever imagine, mixed with a racing heart and a feeling of being far out of your skull. This feeling overcame me faster than it ever has before.

I started panicking a little but the Seroquel made me too tired to really show it. Then something happened that I could have never seen coming. I was staring off into the dark garage in a daze, when suddenly I started hallucinating. I started laughing hysterically because I had no clue you could hallucinate from Seroquel and it caught me super off guard.

I was locked in a trance with the dark garage, and then I saw a shadow person. It scared me and I was constantly asking my friend if he saw what I was seeing, but he was just laughing his ass off because he did not see a thing. A fruit stand appeared, and it looked to be made of bamboo. A woman in a Victorian type of outfit emerged from the darkness.

At this point I could not even freak out, I was just staring in disbelief, similar to a car crash. She was extremely pale, and had a dark purple hat that was large and angled. She picked up an apple from the stand and I could slightly make out her smiling face but it was very blurry.

Behind her emerged a man, and then she completely disappeared. This man had a large black tophat, and a trenchcoat. He was shuffling around the garage, and I watched him move around for a few minutes more. I could not believe what was transpiring and I was in a state of shock.

We finally left the garage and the rest of the night consisted of slight visual hallucinations and a feeling that my body weighs 800 pounds. I passed out quickly and even waking the next morning could not fathom what I had seen.

I find this experience especially interesting because when I took a whole box of benadryl, I saw large spiders and hallucinations of people in my home, but I never saw the hatman. Who knows what was going on in my mind but it is definitely interesting that a large dose of Seroquel mixed with weed caused me to see the hatman. 

RECOUNT #3

This was a night when my psychosis was starting to emerge for the first time. It had been about 6 months since I got out and I had been going hard everyday. On this particular night, I believe it was the 3rd or 4th day of consecutive DXM use.

I decided to finish off a Delsym bottle which was about 3 quarters full (the large bottle) and went back to playing some games. I got really high, but in a way I have never been before. An alarming type of way. The type of high that makes you want to talk to someone, to make you feel like you aren't going to die or go insane. But I was alone tonight.

I tried to shake this feeling off but it just kept getting worse and worse. It steadily rose into a full blown panic. I realized that if anything happened right now, I would die alone in my room. For years I had gotten high all night without a second thought, but for the first time I felt true unfiltered fear. I realized how much damage I had really done with this cough syrup.

I realized in that moment, that I was going to be the cause of my own demise. I envisioned my family finding my lifeless body in the morning and having to accept that. This is what began a panic attack that was one of the worst in my life. I frantically looked around my room, muttering “no no no please no” constantly while pacing back and forth. I desperately wanted this feeling to go away but the delay was only getting stronger and stronger.

This went on for a few hours until about 4am when I went to the bathroom and prepared to pee. To my absolute horror, no matter what I did I could not pee. Now, this might not sound that scary, but when you have been having a panic attack all night about the damage you've done to your body, it will send you off the deep end. In my mind, I was going to die tonight. It was the same exact feeling that I got when my mom told me those words.

In my mind I was on death's door, and I would have to accept that. I made my liver fail from DXM abuse and I can't pee and will die slowly now. I broke into a deep sob and sprawled out on the bathroom floor. The feeling I had in my mind and body is probably similar to someone who has just gotten a life ending diagnosis. I made my way to bed and the freakout continued.

I was so delirious that I could not type, but I wrote a goodbye note on my phone that said “I'm sorry I loved you”. I desperately started googling how to make this “trip” go away. The only drug I had on hand was Seroquel so naturally I looked up if it could help. In my mind, I did not realize that DXM is not psychedelic at all, but when I looked up if Seroquel can help a bad trip it said it definitely can.

So at 5:30 in the morning I took a 250mg Seroquel in a last ditch effort to make this pain go away. I eventually passed out. Now here is the part I am going to have trouble putting into words. I woke up at 1:45pm and slowly opened my eyes. I did not recognize my own room. I woke up and did not know where I was for a good 6 minutes.

Something felt so horribly wrong and I could not figure out what it was. My vision was super distorted and I felt like I was on a really bad acid trip, but it threw me off because I had never woken up to this feeling. It felt as though I had a bubble over my head and the bubble was flowing and moving around and making my vision move with it.

I felt a sinister feeling inside, like I had permanently changed myself and I could never go back. I just wanted it to end but it did not. I am trying to explain how I felt but it is just too much to put into words. Just imagine you vaguely remember taking a drug the night before but you are too confused to remember the details.

Your hands look foreign, your room looks like someone else's and you have a feeling inside like you are in a permanent bad trip. The events that transpired here helped me point in the right direction, but it was so traumatizing that I was riddled with nightmares and I still get uneasy when I think of being in that bathroom unable to pee. If anyone can explain why I felt the way I did in the morning medically, I would love to hear. 

Recount #4

This was the event that changed everything. All of my drug use and recklessness was reaching a boiling point and something was bound to go wrong. I had started feeling out of my mind most days and was still doing adderall, kratom, DXM, acid and mushrooms.

I had been planning a trip with a friend from a residential facility. He said he couldn't make the drive originally, but ended up deciding to steal his brother's car. They picked me up and we made our way to his plug. He said he had bought acid from him before and it was good so I trusted him no questions asked. We got 10 tabs and made the journey back to the spot.

As we are driving we both pop a tab and the energy is high. It usually takes a long while for the tabs to hit so i think we will be fine by the time we get there. Within 15 mins it was coming on strongly which was strange for a single tab. I brushed it off and we actually had a pretty uneventful night. It consisted of giggling and eating Mcdonalds and everything was chill for a long time.

I noticed that my jaw was clenching and chattering which has also never happened to me with acid before. Towards 6am we decided to go to a lookout spot to smoke some weed. Everything goes fine and I am actually starting to get disappointed. The whole night I had high energy and weak visuals, but I was already feeling pretty sober by the time we got to the lookout. I have had unpleasant experiences smoking weed on acid before, so I knew it could get hairy but I wasn't expecting anything major because this acid was feeling pretty weak.

Just as the first bowl is in my mouth, my trip reignites with intensity. I feel relieved because I know my trip actually isn't over, and I start to get the giggles and enjoy the view. We smoke a few more bowls and my trip gets stronger and stronger. Eventually an acquaintance pulls out a weed cartridge. Everyone starts taking blinkers and I decide to join and make my high reach a new level.

I noticed that the wax was oddly bright yellow, but began taking my hits. After coughing my lungs up, I realized I was in for it. Whenever I smoke a lot of psychedelics, there are warning signs before I go off the deep end. I get butterflies in my chest in a terrible way, my vision turns a shade of green or yellow, and I get this sickening feeling of impending doom. After hitting that cartridge, I started floating. I'm not talking an opiate type of floating, I mean a genuine sensation of floating above my body.

I looked around in a state of deja-vu and everything turned into a fake cartoon. I was looking out onto the view, and I felt as though my head got sucked behind my body and started swaying from left to right. My visuals became strange and everything around me turned into a grid. It was slightly enjoyable in a terrifying type of way, until I couldn't breathe.

I began gasping for air and my heart was racing. My panic rose from a 7 to a 10 fast and kept going up. My vision was swaying and I have never felt so out of my body and mind before. I really started to freak out and I told them we have to leave now. As we were walking down the steps I felt like a cartoon character made out of rubber. I was white knuckling the railing and would occasionally collapse and freak out because it felt like I genuinely could not breathe.

I remember I had an inhaler in my bag and quickly took it out, and began to hit it 3-4 times. Horrific mistake. I had no clue this could happen but apparently too much of an inhaler can cause your heart to race. So on top of my insane heart rate the inhaler made it worse and I nearly accepted death. My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't hear the thumping anymore and my ears began ringing.

My sense of reality and who I was was fading from my grasp and I knew I had felt this feeling before. It was the same feeling of the overdose, it was the  feeling of death. I gathered myself and made it to the car somehow and on the ride back my reality was completely changed.

I felt like I was watching a movie where something bad happens to the protagonist from a third person perspective. As we make it to the couch I collapse. I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep forever but the sickening part is I couldn't sleep at 9am after staying up all night. I was tossing and turning and having matrix-like closed eye visuals.

Eventually I passed out and woke up a different person. In the months that followed, I was riddled with crippling psychosis. I couldn't walk upstairs without my heart beating out of my chest and having a panic attack. I stayed in bed all day everyday and I was too scared to hit my vape, which probably caused nicotine withdrawal on top of everything.

I developed horrific hypochondria which I still struggle with today, and would hear voices in my head. When I would be on the brink of sleep I would hear a robotic woman's voice say “I hear voices” and I would jump up screaming. There was a lightning storm and I was covering my head and shaking in fear like a small child.

Whenever I would sit down somewhere I would jump and grab onto something because I had a sensation of falling through the floor. This lasted for months. It affected all of my relationships and I got fired because of a panic attack I had during work that got an ambulance called because I felt like I was falling through the floor and my heart was racing so bad.

I developed the worst heart anxiety imaginable and I would want to jump out of my skin when I heard or thought about it. I was in agony and it had been months since the trip. I would have intense delusions and many hospital trips only for them to tell me I'm completely healthy.

I was convinced my liver and heart were failing and that I was going to die soon. And that is a feeling I don't wish upon anyone. Have you ever been so depressed that your whole world goes dark? Not in a literal sense but when you think back on those memories they are almost a darker color? This was the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

I was suffering more than I ever have and I needed it to stop. I never wanted to feel like this again, and something inside me changed through that. I had the means to quit forever. I dreamed of my life before all of this, and I realized how stupid and naive I have been. I realized how selfish my drug addiction actually was, and how much I had affected people around me.

I never wanted to feel that paranoia again. I never wanted to think “oh sh*t i did too much” again. And so I quit DXM first. And then weed, and then everything else. I have been sober for a year and a half now because of this event.

I originally claimed the tab was laced with meth because apparently it was tested and came back for meth, but I wouldn't say that now. I think it was a research chemical and my drugged out mind finally broke into pieces, and I had to put it back slowly but surely.

I also found out the weed cartridge was delta-8 so that definitely didn't help either. If you took a tab and are having similar symptoms that I had, I encourage you to learn about research chemicals and research psychosis. Know you are not alone and that someday your symptoms will go away, but only if you quit mind altering drugs. 

it runs alright but looks pixelated and extremely blurry. wondering if anyone has some good settings

i’m a beginner bmxer and i am planning on getting pegs tommorow. when i rode today i realized my back foot is basically in line with the back tire bolt. for reference i have size 11 M shoe and a 21 inch frame. anything i should ask the bike shop to do so my feet don’t hit the pegs or is it a skill issue?

i’m sure this has been said millions of times on this sub but let me be a drop of water in the ocean real quick -
i have been a skater for a decade and have never hit my head before. i got my first esk8 a week ago and have been in pure bliss everyday. genuinely the most fun ive ever had. so naturally i got pretty cocky, and everyday i was pushing the speed as i got more and more comfortable. the speed was super addicting and i really thought i just would never fall. well i’m going down a bike path and this old man on a bicycle gives me a thumbs up and says my board is super cool. so like an idiot, i wanted to show him some power and i zoomed past him in S+ mode like ive done several times at this point. towards the end of the pull, my front truck began to wobble and i knew i was cooked. i had to be going 23-24 mph and bailed. i hit my head so hard my glasses flew to the back of my helmet and i saw white with ringing in my ears. road rash all over my back and elbows. screen shattered on my remote. i luckily walked away just fine but now i understand what people say when crashes are inevitable with esk8s. the speed is intoxicating and you just want to keep pushing it. if i wasn’t wearing a helmet i really would have died. so like many people have said before me, helmets aren’t optional and don’t ride like an idiot like i did, even if you’ve been skating for ages

to get straight to the point, i’m a long time skater that has dabbled in bmx on and off for 5 years now. i always buy a bmx, ride for 3-6 months and then start skating again and sell the bmx. and then a year later randomly get a ton of motivation to learn again. and the cycle repeats. has happened 4 times now
my most recent one has been a dirt jumper, and my experience has been amazing so far. my back doesn’t hurt as much because i’m a taller guy and everything is great, but i have a question. i’m starting to learn tricks again, and ive always wanted to learn how to barspin and crank flip. i’ve gotten super close to a barspin on a bmx, but on my dirt jumper it seems a lot harder. would it be feasible to learn a barspin on my DJ or should i get another bmx ? does anyone who rides a DJ with brakes give me an insight of how much harder it is compared to a bmx?
also to give context i’m riding dirt jump parks and practicing my skills at skateparks but i’ve been a huge fan of these street DJ guys that ride a DJ like bmx.

i have a very common question but i will just explain myself before i get into that-

im 19 and have been skating for 9 years. i bought my first one wheel a month ago and it has hit my brain like a train. i bought a great condition stock XR on marketplace. i have been having the time of my life, but theres one thing that grinds my gears - the haptic buzz and speed. if my xr could go even 25mph i would be content. in skateboarding i do tricks for fun, but with one wheel the speed is the fun for me. im not planning on making any drastic decisions soon and im really going to put thought into this, but here is the point im at -

i absolutely can make my XR go faster and it is a strong option. but as most people know, an XRV kit and battery upgrade will run me $1000+. then at that point why dont i get a fungineers X7. then after some research i find out that the X7 is fantastic, but with a hefty price tag and questionable reliability.

then i go down the EUC rabbit hole. i can get a EUC that goes 35 mph and has insane range for less than a X7. but then i might lose some of the snow/surf aspect i enjoy from the one wheel.

then i find out about esk8. it would seem it checks all of my boxes that i am craving. price is reasonable, and top speed is 40mph while maintaining the surf/skate aspect i want.

i have a feeling that an esk8 would not have a similar feel to a one wheel and would have more of a longboard feel, but the difference between 17mph and 40 is monumental. there is one on sale right now for 1K and i bought my XR for $800.

so im posting this for a second opinion. it may sound like i have my mind made up but my opinion changes everyday and i want every bit of info i can get because this is expensive for me rn. i feel like its a common question but to simplify, OW, EUC, or ESK8?

got my first one wheel ever and have been having an absolute blast. i originally planned to buy the vesc conversion kit deep into my one wheel journey but the constant beeping at 17mph leaves me feeling like someone who got blue balled. want a second opinion because installing the vesc doesn’t look too bad but i don’t want to risk breaking it 🫡

i want something that feels like a macbook but runs linux. lightweight and oled/good screen quality for movies and work. so far it seems like asus zenbook might be close to what i want