u/Background_Read6784

idk why but it’s one of the things that makes me laugh the hardest. in any game where he’s working some kind of job, especially in horror games, it kills me how he interacts with the customers as if he’s actually working irl. i love when he refers to them as “ma’am/sir” and says “THANK YEWW” or “how you doin ma’am” in that customer-service-like voice, it cracks me up so bad 😭😭

i’m at an event on the street at my university and i swear i just had diarrhea. i’m wearing regular underwear and blue jeans so it’s probably visible. i sat down in the grass by the sidewalk bc im surrounded by people and there was no way i could go anywhere without being noticed.

i came here alone, im only a block away from my dorm but i can’t just get up and walk there. i have nothing on me except for my phone. no spare clothes or anything. i was not prepared for this what do i do

i feel like i’m meant to be a college student forever… like i can’t imagine graduating and then i’ll never be in school again (unless i get my master’s but idk). college is like the perfect mix of adulthood and adolescence in a way, and i just don’t want to be a part of the workforce 😞😞😞

but i also don’t want to live at home forever, i feel like im suffocating sometimes bc i just want more independence but i don’t have the resources AHHHHH

tldr: i keep seeing mentions of self harm on social media posts that have absolutely nothing to do with self harm. when did such a serious issue become so normalized??

maybe it’s just me who feels like this but i’ve noticed that content revolving around self harm, even subtly, has become more mainstream on social media. like the bread scoring videos? not saying all of those videos are bad but obviously some of them are filmed with the intention of mimicking self harm.

i guess my point here is that the topic of self harm seems to be brought up in completely irrelevant spaces. i saw a tiktok earlier of someone doing a purposefully cringe trend, and the top comment was “you just made me cut”. like, THATS how you choose to respond to a video??? it genuinely triggered me, especially because i’ve been battling sh urges all day. why do people say stuff like this??? even as a joke, it’s unfunny and insensitive.

i wasn’t even looking for self harm-related content, yet there it was.

and before anyone says i’m being too sensitive or that i should get off the internet if im so easily triggered, there’s absolutely no reason that a lighthearted tiktok video should warrant a comment related to cutting. i opened the comments expecting to laugh. instead i was just triggered and closed the app right after.

obviously i think discussion of self harm is good for awareness and for minimizing the stigma around it, but why bring it up completely unprovoked?? why go out of your way to trigger people??? why act so casual about it, like it’s not a serious issue??

the cuts aren’t fresh btw but they’re not completely scarred yet either. i noticed like the day after that there were yellow splotches on the skin around/under the cuts. i didn’t go deep at all, like cat scratches/styro (they bled so i’m not sure which layer this fits under). but regardless of depth ive never had bruises (?) after cutting. i’m assuming this is a normal thing but just curious if anyone else has experienced something similar or knows why it would occur

I FINALLY THREW AWAY MY BLADES!!!!! 🥹🥹

after debating it for so long i finally found the courage i needed to throw them away for good. tied up the bag and took it outside before i could second guess myself.

i don’t want to suffer anymore, i don’t deserve to be in pain and bleeding, i want to live, i want to create an identity for myself outside of cutting. because theres so much more to me than self harm.

i thought id never be able to get rid of my blades because it felt like too big of a commitment; i always wanted to have them “just in case”. well, that mindset is the reason i kept relapsing. it was scary honestly to part with them but i feel so much lighter now. if nothing else, i hope anyone reading this finds some comfort in it. i promise there’s always time for things to get better <3

i love you guys

since i realized my shopping habit had become more of an obsession, ive been trying to restrict how much i spend. I noticed lately that any time i do end up buying something i want, usually clothes or accessories, i feel so guilty about it after. one time the guilt was so strong i immediately went to cancel my order. it’s weird tho bc im not using my main debit card, im using a gift card that my parents gave me for my birthday. the whole point of the card was that i could go shopping and pick out things i want. and still, i feel so guilty after every purchase. the card had $250 initially, and ive used almost all of it over the course of two months. i’ve been selling a lot of stuff too at least, but i still can’t help the sense that im doing something “wrong” every time i buy something i dont truly need

i see a lot of the time that someone will make a post or comment and then write something like “ETA: typo”. what’s the point in mentioning that? reddit doesn’t tell me that the text was edited; i only know because the person specified that they edited it. why not just edit it and let it be?

i don’t even want to be in pain i just want to see my blood

i started tracking and decided i’d reward myself with each milestone i hit. i made it to 8 days and then cut myself slightly on my thumb. i wasn’t sure if it counted as a relapse or not but i reset the timer anyway, and now i feel like i have less motivation to keep watching the numbers go up. idk if i care how long im clean for. i dont know if abstinence is in the cards for me anyway

my therapist and i just had a session and came to the realization that i used sh as a way to feel like a child again. when i cut, i have tangible proof of my pain and vulnerability, which then gives me the permission i need to self-soothe. i wrap myself up in a blanket, i cuddle my plushies, i watch videos, i eat snacks. through sh, i “earn” comfort.

i only started sh 2/3 years ago so it was surprising to learn that it could actually be connected to my childhood (which was good, for the most part). does anyone else have a similar experience? using sh as a way to feel vulnerable and therefore earn comfort, as if regressing into childhood again?