u/BakerOk900

I regret it so much. I like it but I can't attend properly because I suck so much and should have maybe waited a year, at least, but I started worrying I was going to graduate too late and be with students much younger than me so I did it anyway.

I also didn't know what else to do so this year so I showed up to the entrance test "just to try", passed it, then started attending. I should have found a job at some cafe instead at least for this year. I'm so pissed.

My classmates can't stand me because I skip so much and I mean, it's fair. But what do I do now? I can't quit now, it's nearly the end of the first year already.

I really really want to quit

It's fair for them and for professor to get mad about skipping but I really can't do better than this

For some reason last month I had very little symptoms but now it's all back and my attendance sucks again. My classmates are (rightfully) pissed off at me for skipping for days each month but I don't know what to do and just want to quit.

Though everything I did this year would be wasted effort. I'm so mad. It was so beautiful to feel normal for 1 month without counting grief which annoys me so much.

I asked my doctor to prescribe me some blood tests to check if hormones are fine and he said suuuure then didn't. And also said I'm depressed because "I don't do anything" oh sure!

I'm so done what do I even do. Do I just beg this stupid doctor (my GP).

Sorry if this isn't the right sub for this but I don't know where else to ask.

I'm not sure about how to dispose of a mask properly. I just used to put them in the trash bin in my bathroom, I didn't go out much before, I really don't know.

Also, if I take a plane, it doesn't feel right to then put it in a bin wherever, put a new one after.

I'm confused.

I'VE HAD ENOUGGHHH

Especially if I'm not close by or someone has to use the bathroom as well, I have to wake up at least 2 hours early if I'm lucky!

Also, when I know something is early sometimes I can barely sleep or end up involuntarily waking up at 3 am due to fear of being late!

FUCK IT GENUINELY

Anything I ever do or say seems to be a response to an intrusive thought or rumination and I can never stand the outcome, I'm really pissed. I swear, anything. What I say or do, when I do it, how I do it...

I don't know how it could be stopped since it feels so pervasive in such a subtle (on the outside) and insidious way. Medication? I've read how ERP works and I don't know how it could be used for this.

Our course has a limit on the number of students allowed to attend each year and attendance is mandatory.

I skipped a lot in the first semester, I've done better during the last months but last week I skipped entirely and returned today.

I'm trying to be consistent but sometimes I just can't. I lost my mom almost a year ago so some days I don't feel like doing anything. I don't think it's a fair excuse to skip at all, especially since my classmates may end up following a lecture in just 1 or 2 people and professors got mad at us before.

I'm not the only one who skips but I don't like being so unreliable and inconsistent. And I'm certainly not making a good impression on professors, more so when I'm in a weird mood and get quiet and distracted. I feel like I'm just trying to justify myself.

Half of my classmates (we're very few people) lost a parent when they were kids but can attend quite regularly so I should be able to do it as well, otherwise it's unfair towards their efforts.

I don't know if professors really see me as lazy or whatever but I should attend normally and study since it's been nearly a year. I only gave 1 exam and for the other 5 I told each professor I couldn't do it yet. I wonder if I'm in trouble at all.

How do you avoid skipping?

[M22]

Ho perso mia madre di colpo mesi fa e ciò mi causa un malumore intermittente, ho però una sensazione strana che non se ne va, come se in fondo tutto fosse in qualche modo disturbante. Da quando l'ho persa fatico ad avere abbastanza empatia per gli altri, mi viene davvero difficile a meno che non ci metta attenzione.

All'università ma anche a casa mi sembra sempre di dover fare attenzione e calcolare ogni singola azione per evitare di fare arrabbiare le persone e non ce la faccio più...

Cerco di comportarmi bene e a volte mi sento davvero "normale" e di buon umore ma mi succede ripetutamente di sentirmi giù di nuovo e teso.

Non riesco a fare molte cose perché mi sento osservato continuamente e ciò a volte mi quasi paralizza. Ho questa sensazione da anni da quando ho avuto sintomi psicotici per cui mi erano stati prescritti medicinali (non hanno aiutato molto).

Troverò un altro psicologo più in là perciò vi prego di non nominarli...

Has anyone took it for anxiety? I was told I had despression and anxiety and got prescribed various SSRI and haloperidol. My psychiatrist actually said haloperidol would calm down my nerves. I found it quite confusing.