u/ClassroomOk7243

I’ve been dealing with ADHD my whole life, and depression for years. I’m almost 22(M) and I’m struggling a bit with how I see my life compared to others.

A lot of my teenage years were basically spent isolated, not really going out, not building a social life or doing the things most people seem to do at that age. I wasn’t really functioning properly for a long time.

This year things started to change a bit after I started medication. I got my first proper job, lost weight, started taking better care of myself and pushed myself to actually be around people instead of isolating all the time.

On the outside my life is definitely improving.

But internally I still feel kind of stuck.

I keep comparing myself to people my age and feel like I’m behind. A lot of them are finishing university, moving out, getting into relationships, building careers and becoming independent adults. I still live with my mom, I’m just starting my first job and I don’t really have a clear direction yet.

Outside of work I don’t really have much of a social life. I get along with my coworkers and they seem to like me, but that’s pretty much it. When I’m not at work I mostly just end up alone at home.

I also look younger than my age and I think that affects how people see me, and sometimes how I see myself too. I missed a lot of normal social experiences growing up, so I feel a bit behind in that area.

Even though I’ve made progress physically and in my daily functioning, mentally I still feel like I’m still catching up. I’m trying to keep going but I still struggle a lot with comparison and feeling like I’m not where I “should” be.

I’ve had depression for years and ADHD on top of that. Most of my teenage years were basically spent isolated in my room doing absolutely nothing with my life. I didn’t go out with people, didn’t build confidence, didn’t date, nothing. For a long time I barely even cared because I was so numb all the time.

Only this year things finally started changing a little after getting on meds. I got my first actual job, lost a lot of weight, started taking care of myself more and forcing myself to be around people instead of isolating 24/7.

But even with all that I still feel empty as fuck.

What hurts the most is seeing people my age actually living normal lives while I feel years behind everyone. People are finishing university, moving out, getting girlfriends, traveling, building careers and becoming independent adults. Meanwhile I still live with my mom and I’m only now working my first real job at almost 22.

Outside of work I basically have no life. I get along well with coworkers and they think I’m a normal/chill guy but that’s literally it. Once work ends I go back home and everything feels empty again.

I also look younger than my age and people treat me like a teenager because of it. The worst part is I honestly feel mentally younger too because I missed out on so many normal experiences growing up. I have a lot of insecurities because of that, especially when it comes to girls and relationships.

I changed a lot physically over the last 2 years but mentally I still feel stuck in the same place. I’m exhausted from constantly trying to improve myself while feeling completely alone the whole time. At this point I don’t even know what I’m doing it for anymore.

I know objectively my life is way better than it used to be but my brain still feels stuck in the past and I can’t stop feeling ashamed of myself.

I’m almost 22, and I’ve been dealing with ADHD for a long time. I’m currently on medication.

Over the last two years, I’ve made some real changes in my life. I lost a significant amount of weight, started taking better care of myself, and got my first proper job. I also began going out more with coworkers and trying to be more social instead of isolating myself like I did before.

On paper, my life is clearly better than it used to be.

But inside, I still feel empty and stuck.

Even though I’ve started going out more and having some social contact, I often don’t feel much from it emotionally. I constantly feel like I should be further along in life at this point. I’m earning money more consistently now and saving for my driver’s license, but it still feels like I’m behind everyone else my age.

I also really want a close romantic relationship, but I feel like I’m not enough. I think I don’t have much to offer compared to other guys my age who seem more independent, confident, and established.

Most of the time, I feel a lot of pressure in my head. I compare myself to others constantly, and it creates a lot of shame. I also often feel somewhat stupid and lost because I don’t have clear plans for my future, and I’m not really sure what I’m doing with my life.

On top of that, I feel like I still look and come across younger than my age, almost like a teenager, which doesn’t help my confidence in social or romantic situations.

Even though I’ve improved a lot externally in terms of health, job, and trying to be more social, inside it still feels like I’m stuck in the same place emotionally.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else with ADHD has gone through something similar, where life is technically improving, but it doesn’t feel like it, and you still feel behind everyone else.

Any advice would really help.

I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore or how to fix this.

I want a normal life so badly. I want friends, relationships, hobbies, memories, goals, experiences, all the things normal people seem to build naturally over time. The problem is that I can’t seem to force myself to actually live. I spend most of my life stuck inside my own head wanting things but never being able to fully act on them.

I struggle horribly with deeper relationships too. I can talk to people on a surface level, especially at work, but anything beyond that feels impossible. I overthink everything, isolate myself, avoid people, then feel miserable because I’m lonely. It’s like I crave connection constantly but my brain treats it like a threat at the same time.

My self esteem is also completely destroyed. I have a lot of insecurities and body image issues, and no matter how much I improve something externally, mentally it never changes. I lost weight, tried improving myself, tried medication, tried “putting myself out there,” but deep down I still feel inferior to everyone around me.

The worst part is how painful this kind of life becomes after years. Watching people your age grow emotionally, build relationships and actually live while you feel mentally frozen in place hurts more than I can explain. I genuinely feel left behind by life.

I’m tired of wanting things so badly but feeling physically and mentally incapable of building them.

I genuinely feel like ADHD destroyed my ability to have a social life. Not in a “I’m shy sometimes” way, I mean I literally can’t force myself to live like a normal person outside of work. People from work ask me to go out sometimes and every single time I either avoid it, overthink it for hours or mentally shut down. It feels like there’s some invisible wall in my brain stopping me from actually participating in life.

I’ve been depressed for years. From the outside I probably seem functional enough. I joke around, try to act relaxed and confident, but internally I’m anxious all the time. Social situations stress me out so much that only after getting medicated did I become capable of speaking more normally without freezing up inside.

I’m almost 22 but genuinely look way younger. People constantly think I’m like 18yo. Young face, young voice, acne, and it honestly messes with my head badly. I also struggle hard with body dysmorphia. I used to be overweight and lost a lot of weight, but mentally nothing changed. I still obsess over every flaw, stretch marks and insecurity.

I feel embarrassed about how behind I am in life too. No education because I genuinely couldn’t focus or force myself to study properly. No social life, no relationship experience, no license, still living with my mother. I’ve genuinely reached some of the lowest points in my life mentally over the past few years.

My childhood was lonely too. My grandparents mostly raised me while my mom worked abroad, and school/friends were my only escape. But those friendships slowly disappeared and now I’ve spent years mostly alone with my own thoughts and problems.

I’ve tried to change. Lost weight, got a job, tried medication, tried improving myself, but the feeling never leaves. Deep down I genuinely feel too emotionally behind and socially broken to ever build a normal life.

I’m almost 22 (M) and I genuinely feel years behind everyone else emotionally and socially. ADHD already made life hard enough, but growing up in constant stress, instability, moving around, and basically surviving all the time completely fucked up my development. I never really got to be a teenager.

While other people were making friends, going out, dating, building memories and becoming actual adults, I spent most of my late teens isolated in my room trying to escape my own head. Gaming, doomscrolling, sleeping, repeating the same empty routine every day. The last 5-6 years honestly feel like one blurry depressing period I barely even remember properly.

The worst part is that from the outside I probably seem normal. I can talk to people at work, joke around, act functional. But outside of work I literally don’t have a life. I haven’t properly hung out with anyone in years. No friend group, no relationship history, no “crazy stories,” nothing. I genuinely don’t know how to socialize anymore unless it’s forced by work or daily responsibilities.

I crave connection so badly, but at the same time I feel emotionally stuck at like 15 or 16. Everyone my age seems so much more experienced and developed. They have memories, identities, confidence, social skills, relationships. Meanwhile I feel empty and ashamed because I have nothing to talk about when people ask me about my life.

Sometimes I think maybe I look alright and maybe there’s still hope for me socially, but then I spiral again and just see myself as damaged, awkward and mentally years behind everyone else. The loneliness gets unbearable sometimes because it feels like life kept moving while I stayed frozen in place.

I’m almost 22 and I genuinely feel years behind everyone else emotionally and socially. ADHD already made life hard enough, but growing up in constant stress, instability, moving around, and basically surviving all the time completely fucked up my development. I never really got to be a teenager.

While other people were making friends, going out, dating, building memories and becoming actual adults, I spent most of my late teens isolated in my room trying to escape my own head. Gaming, doomscrolling, sleeping, repeating the same empty routine every day. The last 5-6 years honestly feel like one blurry depressing period I barely even remember properly.

The worst part is that from the outside I probably seem normal. I can talk to people at work, joke around, act functional. But outside of work I literally don’t have a life. I haven’t properly hung out with anyone in years. No friend group, no relationship history, no “crazy stories,” nothing. I genuinely don’t know how to socialize anymore unless it’s forced by work or daily responsibilities.

I crave connection so badly, but at the same time I feel emotionally stuck at like 15 or 16. Everyone my age seems so much more experienced and developed. They have memories, identities, confidence, social skills, relationships. Meanwhile I feel empty and ashamed because I have nothing to talk about when people ask me about my life.

Sometimes I think maybe I look alright and maybe there’s still hope for me socially, but then I spiral again and just see myself as damaged, awkward and mentally years behind everyone else. The loneliness gets unbearable sometimes because it feels like life kept moving while I stayed frozen in place.

I’m almost 22M and I genuinely feel years behind everyone else emotionally and socially. ADHD already made life hard enough, but growing up in constant stress, instability, moving around, and basically surviving all the time completely fucked up my development. I never really got to be a teenager.

While other people were making friends, going out, dating, building memories and becoming actual adults, I spent most of my late teens isolated in my room trying to escape my own head. Gaming, doomscrolling, sleeping, repeating the same empty routine every day. The last 5-6 years honestly feel like one blurry depressing period I barely even remember properly.

The worst part is that from the outside I probably seem normal. I can talk to people at work, joke around, act functional. But outside of work I literally don’t have a life. I haven’t properly hung out with anyone in years. No friend group, no relationship history, no “crazy stories,” nothing. I genuinely don’t know how to socialize anymore unless it’s forced by work or daily responsibilities.

I crave connection so badly, but at the same time I feel emotionally stuck at like 15 or 16. Everyone my age seems so much more experienced and developed. They have memories, identities, confidence, social skills, relationships. Meanwhile I feel empty and ashamed because I have nothing to talk about when people ask me about my life.

Sometimes I think maybe I look alright and maybe there’s still hope for me socially, but then I spiral again and just see myself as damaged, awkward and mentally years behind everyone else. The loneliness gets unbearable sometimes because it feels like life kept moving while I stayed frozen in place.

I genuinely dislike how ADHD gets romanticized online sometimes. People talk about hyperfocus and creativity, but rarely about how hard it can make normal life.

For me it mostly meant struggling with consistency, routines and feeling mentally exhausted by things that seem easy for other people. I’m almost 22 and honestly feel behind a lot of people my age.

The last few years were mostly isolation, stress and just trying to get through the days without thinking too much about where my life was going. Meanwhile people around me were building relationships, studying, making memories and progressing normally.

The weird part is that socially I’m not completely awkward or shut off. At work people like me, I can talk normally and get along with others. But once work ends, my life becomes very empty. I go home and mostly keep to myself.

I don’t really have close friends or much of a social life, and I think being alone for so long changed me a bit. I grew up without a father and without much emotional support in general, so I never really learned how to build connections or function like a normal adult.

Another thing that messes with me is that on paper I’m supposedly “intelligent”. I had tests done years ago and scored above average, but it honestly doesn’t mean much in real life when you constantly struggle with focus, consistency and stupid mistakes. I still messed up school and feel way less capable than people around me.

I did try to improve things though. I lost weight, started caring more about my appearance, got a job and started taking better care of myself overall.

But even after making progress, I still feel kind of disconnected from life and from other people, like I missed an important stage somewhere along the way.

I’m 22 male and I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my life.

Things at home were never really stable. I didn’t really have a father and he’s been gone for years anyway. My mom isn’t someone I can rely on either. We live together, but there’s no real connection.

School didn’t work out. I changed schools a few times and didn’t finish my final exams. After that I just kind of drifted.

The last 6 years were basically depression and isolation. I feel like I lost a huge part of my life and I can’t get it back. I did try to fix things. I lost weight, started taking care of myself and got a job. But it still feels like I’m far behind.

I work and I function, people at work like me, I can talk normally. But it’s all surface level. I don’t really connect with anyone. I’ve never been in a relationship, I don’t have close friends, I don’t really have anyone.

ADHD complicates a lot of things. Some stuff I just can’t do the way other people do, no matter how much effort I put in. I don’t like using it as an excuse, but I’d rather be honest about it than just hate myself for everything.

What hurts the most is seeing people my age actually living. Relationships, studies, plans, some even have families. I try not to compare myself, but it’s hard not to feel like I’m falling behind.

I don’t have a great job, just something average, and I don’t really see better options where I live. Studying isn’t really an option either, I can’t afford it and I don’t have anyone who could support me.

So I’m just here, stuck, trying but not really moving forward.

And I don’t know what now.

I'm 22M amd from the outside I probably seem fine. I have a job, I can talk to people, and I’m not completely shut off. People at work even like me. But it feels like I’m just playing a role for a few hours, and then I go back home and it all disappears.

The last six years of my life were basically depression, isolation and doing nothing. I feel like I lost a big part of my life and I can’t get it back. I did change some things, I lost weight, started taking care of myself and got a job, but it doesn’t really feel like progress when I think about everything I missed.

I don’t have close friends, I’ve never been in a relationship and I don’t even know how to start anymore. I look younger than I am, like 17 or 18, which doesn’t help my confidence. Even though I look pretty average, I still have a lot of insecurities and low self-esteem.

I feel behind in everything. I didn’t go to college, I didn’t finish my final school exams, my memory is bad and I struggle with consistency. I was told I’m above average intelligence, but that just makes me more aware of how much I’m struggling.

At work I’m liked, but I can be awkward and I feel like people notice something’s off. The job isn’t great and I don’t see many better options right now.

I only recently started ADHD meds after years of antidepressants and I’m still trying to find the right dose. Some days I’m exhausted, other days I get random energy, but there’s no stability.

At home it’s not much better. My dad’s been gone for years and we never had a real relationship. My mom hasn’t worked in a long time and we live with her partner. I help with bills, but I don’t really have anyone I can rely on.

I think that’s why I feel this pressure to find someone, just to not feel completely alone all the time.