u/Ok_System_6825

and here i am looking through all of my pokemon cards to see if i have her favorite one so i can give it to her

Okay i KNOW it would never work out itd be much too triggering especially if one of us were to relapse, like i have no intention of trying to get us to date especially in the vulnerable states were both in but a person can dream😭😭 but im crushing so hard lol

this is just a fun post, not one where im just ranting/complaining the full time like usual 😭😭

and here i am looking through all of my pokemon cards to see if i have her favorite one so i can give it to her

Okay i KNOW it would never work out itd be much too triggering especially if one of us were to relapse, like i have no intention of trying to get us to date especially in the vulnerable states were both in but a person can dream😭😭 but im crushing so hard lol

this is just a fun post, not one where im just ranting/complaining the full time like usual 😭😭

i am just existing; i have little to no reasons for still being here

i hate my life. i hate every fucking waking moment of my life. i want to either relapse harder than ever or die. i never ever wanted to recover but i’m 14, so my parents fucking forced me into treatment. i do not want to recover. i never did. forced recovery does not fucking work and i am so insanely suicidal. every day i spend my time planning my relapse or how i’m going to kill myself. i hate everyone around me, i hate myself more than ever, i have no purpose for living. i have absolutely nothing to live for and i genuinely cannot stand being alive. and i hate my parents more than anything ever. i fucking resent them.

im sorry i just needed to vent

okay, lets face it, im not ready to get better. but since im a minor, im in forced recovery. i dont want to get better at all and i haven’t mentally, im just fat now. dont you have to want recovery for it to be true recovery?? my brain hasnt gotten better at all, im just weight restored now. every single day i plan my relapse and how im going to the second i get the chance. fuck forced recovery