u/OptimalStatement5799

All I need to do 80% of my job is Microsoft Word. I watched this Yt video that said the answer to procrastinating is to do absolutely nothing so that the prospects of working sounds better than watching paint dry.

Has anyone tried this?

Im self employed and work from home. I find I have no structure. Watch movies and shows, I can be so incredibly lazy and justify it to myself at times.

Maybe if I turn off everything that gives me temporary pleasure, I'll end up doing something that actually matters... I realize I could be doing this right now but... I'll start tomorrow. F, I hate myself sometimes lol

I'm losing weight (down 30 lbs) but still a bigger boi. I also want to start a nicer a wardrobe.

Any recommendations of who to follow for advice for this?

I'm 210 lbs and 5'10.

I wanted to meet some people out here/be more social since I'm solo travelling and went to this bar in the Nana area where a supposed Meet Up group was supposed to be. I came 30 min late and nobody was there except someone taking money to enter and one other person. There was supposed to be like 50 people lol

Is this normal? I'm bummed out. I wanted to check out more meet ups but feel discouraged now.

That stuff is amazing and I want to cook it at home. Is it bottled marinade?

That stuff is amazing. I want to use it at home. Any idea what it is? Is it bottled marinade?

The people who use prostitutes who just want to be loved.

The alpha males who want to portray strength but really just need a hug from a father figure.

People who use drugs to feel better but who's addictions are killing them.

Or me. I've always wanted to have a relationship based on respect and love but continue to date/marry emotionally unavailable women who are promiscuous.

And most of all, how do we correct this behavior to go towards what we truly want so that our actions and goals are congruent?

Does it all boil down to unresolved childhood trauma?

My ex continues to date her AP secretly for some time although now she's made it official and introduced the kids to him. I'm not sure if they've been dating the whole time or not but it's been nearly two years since the divorce.

My one son referred to AP as Daddy 'First Name' the other day. I fumed over that and messaged her saying it was inappropriate. She didn't respond.

They are only dating as far as I know.

We started coparent counselling but haven't had our first joint session yet. I plan on bringing this up.

How upset should I be though? In the end, I'm worried about the kids when it comes to labels like this. Affair aside, this still feels so gross since they're only dating.

Does every man who meshes his genitals with my ex become a temp baby daddy now?

Last week I posted about my terrible first experience with my first Thai massage. Everyone said get a oil massage. And I did... but that was some weird stuff haha.

Now, I may be single and middle aged now (recently divorced) but I'm not looking for that kind of Thai trip or massage. Happy endings are not on my radar. I wanted a nice relaxing massage.

Instead, I got rubbed down near my privates, upper thighs and lower belly a lot with oil while wearing these little mesh underwears lol. She didn't ask if I wanted a happy ending, which I assumed was coming and was going to politely decline. But, I was fighting in my head against showing any excitement that may have naturally be happening from where she was touching. Where I'm from getting a boner would be extremely embarrassing to get during a massage. I also felt weird saying I was uncomfortable because maybe this is just what happens during these massages. I don't know and it's not like communicating is easy when we don't speak each others language.

Is this normal? Are these type of massages that intimate? I'm used to western massages where you keep your undies on.

It was a cheaper place near my hotel but I had gone to them a few times for foot massages and was pretty happy with their services so I wanted to try the hot oil massage. I'm thinking about maybe trying another at a mall or a clinic that costs more to see if this is just what the massage is or if I just had an experience I wasn't looking for. It wasn't relaxing when I feel like I'm fighting the urge to have an erection lol

Everyone appears so active on their online dating profiles. Hiking, snowboarding, all the gym pics lol I'm like the dude who just likes to chill with a solid movie, make dinner or go out somewhere. A walk by the river and discover a cafe. A board game night in lol I do like to go on vacations and that's basically where all my profile pics are from.

Where's all my lazy, chill ladies at?

Also, why do all the women's profiles look like they had professional pictures taken? My crappy selfies don't measure up. It's not like my buddies take pictures of me that are top notch either.

Went out adventuring for half the day and just got a waft of my body odor. My entire back of my shirt is wet... Not damp. Wet.

I want to go out to a bar tonight but feel no matter how I do it, I'll end up feeling gross within an hour of being out and about. Even if I take a cab from my hotel directly to the bar, I'm sure I'd feel sticky by the end (because it's happened already lol).

How do y'all stay looking good out here and not smelly?!!?!

I'm divorced for 2 years now and my ex is still dating the man she had an affair with. She still refuses to admit to the affair despite the overwhelming evidence. The kids call him 'Daddy first name' now even though they're only dating...

We have a high conflict coparenting situation (50/50). I've asked for a parenting coordinator and she refused. Ive asked for coparent counselling and she refused forever until recently and we have each had one session separately.

We have a relocation trial happening next year because she wants to take our kids and move across the country for her to be closer to her family and affair partner. I've refused to let her move with the kids and now a judge will decide.

Since the trial proceedings begun she's done a lot of mudslinging, accusing me of negligence when I dropped off the kids at school and they smelt like urine (they didn't though and I confirmed with their teachers they didn't through email). She has the kids report between houses how much screen time they have, baths, what they eat for lunch and dinner, etc. a judge has politely told her twice to stop having the kids do this and unfortunately it continues. My one son will literally ask me how many baths they had so they can tell mommy, when it's close to swapping homes.

I'm not doing anything different than what we did when we were married with hygiene, cooking, etc.

I wanted the kids to start therapy and she refused even though our separation agreement said she has to give consent. A judge told her to allow therapy.

The kids birthdays are coming up soon. Last year she wanted to have the 4 of us have a birthday dinner together like we used to. I refused. She told the kids 'Daddy isn't ready'. Planning a shared birthday event was dreadful last year. Some of my family didn't come because of how awkward it is.

This year I asked her not to have her affair partner come to our kids birthday celebrations. He likely wouldn't because he lives far away but I still want to establish my boundaries. She refused to answer plus because of the other behavior above, I told her I'm done with joint birthdays from here on.

She has her celebrations with who she wants and how she wants, and I'll do the same. She made it seem like she would come to my celebration and I clarified that she is not invited to my celebration I arrange for our children and until coparenting dynamics change, it will remain this way.

The mudslinging, the gaslighting, the tension and making me look like the bad guy to our children is too much for me to deal with on a yearly basis. From here on, separate lives except sharing our children.

Am I overreacting?

It's my first time in Thailand and I've been seeing a lot of these type of couples.

I couldn't help but listen in this foreigner talking about hsi ex Thai wife who cheated on him and now they're divorced. The other two guys he was talking to spoke about their pretty ex wives and their divorces lol

So, just curious, is this the typical outcome when the marriage, at face value, appears to be exploitive by both parties? Does it tend to lead to divorce?

I mean, it happens in the west but it seems so much more prevalent here.

Not that kind of massage.

I never had a Thai massage and felt after a 25 hour day for travelling I could relax with one... This was a mistake.

I've been bent in ways I didn't think possible. For the climax, she tried to turn me into a butterfly, nearly breaking off my arms in the process. She yelled at me to relax but that was impossible.

The happy ending came when she was done and the pain was over.

I'm sitting in my hotel room on the mend now. I didn't think a five foot nothing Asian woman could kick my ass like this.

I've run into issues when I travel where I come in super late but have no way to get to my hotel. Trying to avoid that fun again haha. I'm landing In Bangkok and need to get to the Siam area.

My wife left me for another man. I'm divorced now and she's still dating him. We coparent two kids together. I hate her...

I hate that I have to stay in contact with someone so trashy, disgusting and selfish. My mind doesn't stop thinking about it. It's all it wants to do is hit the playback button and run through the emotions all day and night.

I worry about the future. How will my kids be impacted by almost of this? How will I? Will I ever find someone else or even alone forever?

Something I understand is that I'm looking backwards and forwards but being present is the hardest. Living today not yesterday or tomorrow.

I'm procrastinating, but I'm going to do 10 minutes of meditation today and for commit to it for the rest of the week once a day.

I hope for myself and everyone around me, that I find peace.

Lately I've seen clips online where people talk about how places like Thailand changed them spiritually or just how they are and see the world around them.

Did your visit do this for you and if so, what triggered it?

My ex and I share 50/50 but ever since she started the process of a relocation trial so she can move with our kids across the country for her to be closer to her family and affair partner, I've been innundated with situations where she's building these narratives about me.

She will take something with a seed of proof and make it appear much larger issue than it is.

First, she claimed all the time that I was mentally unwell but we share the same GP who wrote a letter for court confirming that my depression has not impacted my abilities to parent our children and it's been the case for the last 2 years years.

Now it's little things like my son (9) came to her upset after a friend of his shower him a Roblox game that was inappropriate and he opened up to her about it and how it impacted him. That ik not emotionally available and the kids are scared to talk to me about it (all of this is very dramatic compared to my observations when I spoke to my son).

I always respond telling her I don't appreciate the criticisms and comments and start defending myself. With the emotional unavailable comment I told her it was me that fought with her for weeks to get our children started in therapy so my actions and words do not support what she claims as I had to drag her to a judge to get her to consent to therapy. She tells me to stop bringing up the past lol

It's frustrating and I'm not sure if I should spend $200 talking about it with it with my lawyer or not.

She brought up these issues to a judge at this pretrial thing and the judge told her that as long as I'm not being abusive that it boils down to a different parenting style and to give each other grace. Grace is not happening lol my lawyer told me as well, it's a nothing issue but I still get triggered by her accusations and comments when it's not true.

So how do I defend against this sort of thing when there's a seed of proof to it. Or do I even have to with silly stuff like this?

We have a tri al next year for relocation and ever since the process begin she drastically changed her parenting style and forms this narratives about mine that act in her favor.

I find myself continuing to debate or defend myself against what she says and accuses me of. I know about Greyrocking but I don't want to come off like I'm ignoring her concerns as if they were truly based in reality would be more concerning.

So today my sons friend showed him a game that they played and scared him (he's 9 and it was a Roblox game). He told her and she messaged me a very dramatic message accusing me of not being emotionally available as well and that the kids are scared to talk to me about their concerns.

Meanwhile, I'm a very active and doesn't father physically and emotionally. I had to fight her for weeks about the kids starting therapy because of concerns I had and she continued to refuse consent until a judge told her to allow it.

She makes these comments criticizing me when I feel it is based on a seed of truth but blown up to fit this narrative she's been building with messages and her documenting everything.
I don't know how to combat this behavior without finding myself being defensive or debating with her, which is exactly what she wants... Ugh

We have a tri al next year for relocation and ever since the process begin she drastically changed her parenting style and forms these narratives about me that act in her favor.

I find myself continuing to debate or defend myself against what she says and accuses me of. I know about Greyrocking but I don't want to come off like I'm ignoring her concerns since if they were truly based in reality would be more concerning. but it's not true...

So today my sons friend showed him a game that they played and scared him (he's 9 and it was a Roblox game). He told her and she messaged me a very dramatic message accusing me of not being emotionally available as well and that the kids are scared to talk to me about their concerns (absolutely not true).

Meanwhile, I'm a very active and present father physically and emotionally. I had to fight her for weeks about the kids starting therapy because of concerns I had and she continued to refuse consent until a judge told her to allow it.

She makes these comments criticizing me when I feel it is based on a seed of truth but blown up to fit this narrative she's been building with messages and her documenting everything. I don't know how to combat this behavior without finding myself being defensive or debating with her, which is exactly what she wants... Ugh

She brought up her blown up concerns to a judge who told her it boils down to a different parenting style and won't do anything at court.

Looking for an AI productivity coach and wondered if there were AI ones I could see and talk with to get me to do my work lol not sure if this is a thing that's even available.