u/crashhhyears

I’m not exactly the quintessential mother type though I absolutely love being a mom and my daughter is the love of my life. So it makes sense why I’ve been having trouble making close mom friends. I have mom “friends” who we get together and our babies play with each other but it feels very forced. And that’s okay, those friendships are important and my daughter has a lot of fun, so all good.

However, now that my daughter is less baby and more toddler, almost 19 mo, I’ve chilled out a bit with my postpartum anxiety, like I was really really anxious. Now I’m looking to make mom friends that I vibe with more. My daughter is likely going to be my only so I’d love for her to also have “family friends” like people with kids who we go on vacations with, like a best friend for her at least until they get to the point where friendship is more of a personal decision vs someone who will give me back the ball when they take it from me haha. I know this is a long shot and I’m not expecting that from a Reddit post

So a little about me. I work 9-5 though my job is reasonably flexible and her dad is the sahp. We have a courteous relationship but really we aren’t very coupley anymore (which I’m ok with) but kinda hard to make couple friends or explain to new mom friends that ehhh don’t really feel the relationship anymore but staying for the time being. But then I can’t really make close friendships without being honest.

A little more about me… I am the type of mom that does not care or get embarrassed if my daughter tantrums in public or acts weird. I mean now can I expect her, a toddler, to be normal when I, an adult, have been called a “strange bird” more than once.
And more details to note - I apparently have ADHD, I like solidcore and running. I go out to bars no more than twice a month, maaaybe 3, and when I do I enjoy drinking. Otherwise I’m a teetolater. I have pretty simple hobbies. I like shopping, tennis, going to the spa, eating, watching trash tv.

I’d love to find a mom friend who resonates with my post

Have any of your babies had their 2 year molars pop out yet?

My daughter is almost 19 mo and is showing signs of teething, hand in mouth, fussy randomly with hand in mouth where her molars are.

She’s had all 16 teeth for quite awhile now (since maybe 15 mo or so), but just I feel it is SO early for the 2 year molars. One of her 2 year molar gums feels significantly more swollen than the others, so maybe?

I have OCD that manifests as health related anxiety and reassurance seeking and research - all of it is centered on my daughter. It used to be like she’d get one tiny bruise and I’d freak out thinking the worst. And in contrast, I never worry and have never worried about health issues in myself. Even when I probably should haha

I have been in therapy for the past four months (ERP) and although I am doing significantly better, now and then I just get so crushed by the unknowns of the future. What if she has this, what if this this this. I genuinely wish I could be more like her dad and have not a care in the world (in a good way), like one of those people who truly believes “there’s not a problem unless it’s been determined a problem exists.”

I do my therapy sessions and listen to my therapist, I try my best to not reassurance seek anymore or research extensively. Overall, I am actually pretty happy and love being a mom and truly enjoy being with my daughter in a way I really couldn’t when she was a baby due to my absolutely crippling anxiety (which makes me really really sad sometimes).

But there are just nights like tonight where it just overwhelms me that I truly don’t know and I can’t imagine my life without her and don’t want to. I feel like this is such a new mom thing to feel so strongly over (my daughter is 18 mo) and most parents have been able to mitigate this feeling and i just can’t.

My daughter is 18 mo, she used to sleep through the night, does not anymore. She wakes up usually at 1 am, I’ll come in, lay on the floor with her and she typically goes back to sleep quickly. Then usually 3 am she wakes demanding for someone to come back in.

This weekend my mom was in town and she put up an air mattress to sleep in my daughter’s room. My daughter slept through the night every single night. No wake ups.

My question is, should I just sleep on a mattress in her room? Or will that ultimately not be good for her sleep development and create a bad habit. This needing someone in the room has been going on for months now.

My daughter used to sleep through the night, does not anymore. She wakes up usually at 1 am, I’ll come in, lay on the floor with her and she typically goes back to sleep quickly. Then usually 3 am she wakes demanding for someone to come back in.

This weekend my mom was in town and she put up an air mattress to sleep in my daughter’s room. My daughter slept through the night every single night. No wake ups.

My question is, should I just sleep on a mattress in her room? Or will that ultimately not be good for her sleep development and create a bad habit. This needing someone in the room has been going on for months now.

My daughter randomly will not walk on the playground wood chips. Just really started yesterday. When she gets on the ground if it has woodchips, she immediately goes “up” and if I don’t pick her up she flails and gets upset. She would walk in the splash pad though where there were no woodchips.

I strongly suspect it’s because she doesn’t like them getting in her shoes. A few days ago, we were at the playground, she randomly took her shoes off, started walking, sits down, cleans the woodchips off from her feet and did that a few times in a row. Would not want her shoes back on.

We’ve been playing on the playground forever so this isn’t really a new environment for her. Just wondering if this will pass or if anyone else’s baby is doing this

My daughter (18 months) randomly will not walk on the playground wood chips. Just really started yesterday. When she gets on the ground if it has woodchips, she immediately goes “up” and if I don’t pick her up she flails and gets upset. She would walk in the splash pad though where there were no woodchips.

I strongly suspect it’s because she doesn’t like them getting in her shoes. A few days ago, we were at the playground, she randomly took her shoes off, started walking, sits down, cleans the woodchips off from her feet and did that a few times in a row. Would not want her shoes back on.

We’ve been playing on the playground forever so this isn’t really a new environment for her. Just wondering if this will pass or if anyone else’s baby is doing this

My 18 mo old loves Laurie Berkner and I had no idea how insanely popular this woman is. Looks like the 8/1 Ravinia show is sold out but I am determined to take her!

$90/person is now the cheapest I can find (two adults, one lap child). Not sure if prices will go down closer to the show since the original tickets were $20, or if there’s a good chance tickets will be “donated back to ravinia,” per their website.

Should I just get them now because I was looking at $150/pp last week? But then I’m seeing on the Laurie Berkner website to not buy from third party sellers because they will elevate the prices and are scammers? But they always elevate prices on third party sites so not sure why I shouldn’t? Help haha

I went out this morning to grab a coffee with my daughter (18 mo). Was about a 10 min walk total. Vaguely recalled seeing “air quality horrible” on my AccuWeather app when I woke up but stupidly assumed “well isn’t it really bad every day.” I don’t know how it took me until the way back from the coffee shop to notice how truly bad the air was and I feel awful I even took my daughter out for 10 minutes. The AQI was like 300-400 then.

She was fine the rest of the day and it didnt seem to affect her and she’s acting normal but my anxiety and guilt definitely is strong tonight. Someone tell me she will be okay?

Prior to pregnancy, I was doing solidcore 3-4x a week and running 5 miles most days of the week. Best shape I was in. I stopped working out in my second trimester and only started running again for the past two months. Gained 80 lbs pregnant, most of it quickly came off, and now have like 10-20 lbs to go.

The running has been going well - I’m surprised how quickly I could get back into running but my strength is awful! I did a yoga sculpt class at corepower and it was so so hard. Did a reformer class and that was also tough.

The only reason I want to start doing solidcore is because they have 9:15pm classes so I would be able to regularly go after my daughter goes to sleep. I don’t really love skipping putting her to bed to workout. Gyms in my area close at 9pm (I do my running in the morning) and I’m not an at home work out kinda person.

Has anyone ever started solidcore after a long break without really working your way up to it? Would love to hear experiences! They even have an intro class at 9:15 so thinking it could work. I’ve never taken an intro class though so don’t know how much “easier” it will be. I do know it will totally kick my ass though.

My 17 mo old daughter is very sweet, very friendly and loves older kids. Over the last month, she’s starting to grab though, she will grab at their clothes, their items, their food, their face. I remove her every time she does this and tell her “we can say hi but we can’t touch.” She only really does this with kids older than 3.

Her dad is the stay at home dad. I asked him today if she does this with him at the park and he says yeah of course! And then I ask if he removes her when she touches other kids, even if the kid doesn’t seem to mind. And he says “of course not.” I tell him he should remove her and tell her not to touch
because not every kid will like it. Also, to create consistency and habits.

To be fair, he’s at the park all the time with her during the weekday when it’s probably mostly younger kids and I’m with her when there’s a bunch of older kids. So he’s probably not seeing it to the same extent that I do.

Any advice? I’m a first time mom and just don’t know. I am removing her every second it seems when I go to the park with her now.

My 17 mo old daughter is very sweet, very friendly and loves older kids. Over the last month, she’s starting to grab though, she will grab at their clothes, their items, their food, their face. I remove her every time she does this and tell her “we can say hi but we can’t touch.” She only really does this with kids older than 3.

Her dad is the stay at home dad. I asked him today if she does this with him at the park and he says yeah of course! And then I ask if he removes her when she touches other kids, even if the kid doesn’t seem to mind. And he says “of course not.” I tell him he should remove her and tell her not to touch
because not every kid will like it. Also, to create consistency and habits.

To be fair, he’s at the park all the time with her during the weekday when it’s probably mostly younger kids and I’m with her when there’s a bunch of older kids. So he’s probably not seeing it to the same extent that I do.

Any advice? I’m a first time mom and just don’t know. I am removing her every second it seems when I go to the park with her now.

I feel like my daughter really quickly learned so many words, like 40 in a span of a month but she’s slowing down a little. Is this how speech progression goes? Feel like I wasn’t even expecting it and all of a sudden she has real words but now that I’m paying attention I think it’s slowed down.

She has maybe 25 words she uses very well, like if we are at a store she’ll point to an apple and say apple. No, mama, dada, more, up, help, baby, all done, ball, dog, hi, bye, ear, nose, mouth, cheek, eye, star, water, tail, shoe, ball, banana, yes. Like these are the ones she says constantly and daily.

Then the rest are animal sounds or things like knock knock, ah choo, hop hop hop etc.

And then the rest are stuff I have to point to and ask her “what’s this” (but without saying the word, I def don’t count if she’s just imitating). Usually she says what the thing is but sometimes not. Or stuff she says consistently but not often

So really maybe it’s just 25 words she knows?

Update: she’s using her hands normally again. Think she was just scared and hesitant. But she’s picking things up, throwing balls around. Looks like she’ll be ok

My daughter 17 months had an apparent injury during swim last night (dad was in the pool, I was watching) and started crying in the pool and holding her wrist. Went to see urgent care last night and had a normal xray. They were not able to move the arm to pop any ligaments back in so I guess unlikely to be nursemaids elbow?

She whimpers at time when I lightly touch her right hand/arm, for example when I drsssed her. She is able to use her right arm to occasionally point, lightly hold an item or put her both arms up if asked but only once. She asks me for help getting up.

But typically if I say arms up, she only put her left arm up and I asked her to put right arm, she said no. I asked her if it hurts and she said yes. She is in good spirits this morning otherwise.

I called the pediatrician this morning and waiting for a call back. Her dad thinks this is not a big deal.

Looking to see if anyone has had similar experiences

Update: she’s using her hands normally again. Think she was just scared and hesitant. But she’s picking things up, throwing balls around. Looks like she’ll be ok

My daughter 17 months had an apparent injury during swim last night (dad was in the pool, I was watching) and started crying in the pool and holding her wrist. Went to see urgent care last night and had a normal xray. They were not able to move the arm to pop any ligaments back in so I guess unlikely to be nursemaids elbow?

She whimpers at time when I lightly touch her right hand/arm, for example when I drsssed her. She is able to use her right arm to occasionally point, lightly hold an item or put her both arms up if asked but only once. She asks me for help getting up.

But typically if I say arms up, she only put her left arm up and I asked her to put right arm, she said no. I asked her if it hurts and she said yes. She is in good spirits this morning otherwise.

I called the pediatrician this morning and waiting for a call back. Her dad thinks this is not a big deal.

Looking to see if anyone has had similar experiences

My daughter 17 months had an apparent injury during swim last night (dad was in the pool, I was watching) and started crying in the pool and holding her wrist. Went to see urgent care last night and had a normal xray. They were not able to move the arm to pop any ligaments back in so I guess unlikely to be nursemaids elbow?

She whimpers at time when I lightly touch her right hand/arm, for example when I drsssed her. She is able to use her right arm to occasionally point, lightly hold an item or put her both arms up if asked but only once. She asks me for help getting up.

But typically if I say arms up, she only put her left arm up and I asked her to put right arm, she said no. I asked her if it hurts and she said yes. She is in good spirits this morning otherwise.

I called the pediatrician this morning and waiting for a call back. Her dad thinks this is not a big deal.

Looking to see if anyone has had similar experiences

My 17 mo old was at swim class with her dad (I was watching them) and she started crying and holding her hand/wrist. Her dad said they were doing a movement and she didn’t like it and started crying (that’s when I noticed she was holding her hand and crying).

A couple hours later, she is not using that hand normally. She was able to play and manipulate a strawberry with both hands to eat it bc she really likes strawberries. But she won’t hold onto anything else I give her with that hand.

I took her to pediatric urgent care. Took an x ray, x ray looked fine, bones looked fine etc.,, they said it could be nursemaids elbow, tried to pop it but nothing happened so I guess it’s not that. Basically they gave her Motrin and said to wait until tmrw and reassess.

We got home and she was reluctantly using the hand again to point and stuff and hold stuff but still much preferring the other hand. I am still nervous about this because I have anxiety and tend to think the worst.

Would love to know if anyone has similar experiences

I always see her with her kid in a covered stroller. One day as I was walking by with my own toddler, I saw that kid’s leg poke out and felt so bad and gave them a $20.

Does anyone know what their situation is? Feel so bad for the kiddo. She seemed older than toddler though judging by the size of her leg but it was hard to tell.

Anyone going through a sleep regression? Maybe the 18 mo regression earlier? My daughter just turned 17 mo. Over the past few weeks, she’s been reasonably okay with sleep, just a brief wake up and back to bed within like 30 seconds. Able to fall back asleep and stay asleep if lie with her for a few minutes.

Tonight, she will not let me leave the room. She sleeps, I wait it out next to her, I leave, she notices, cries. Been doing this cycle for almost 2 hr now. I’m just laying on the floor just waiting for her to get in a deep sleep where she doesn’t notice me getting up.

Reminds me of a sleep regression we had many months ago, I forgot which one

My almost 17 mo old daughter thankfully doesn’t really bite or hit or throw things too much, but she’s got the flailing and wailing down. It has definitely escalated and 90% of the time it’s when she doesn’t get something she wants, like the raw chicken or my keys.

She will wail and flail dramatically to the ground. It’s actually super funny but when I have my hands full or if we are in public in a restaurant or something, it’s not ideal. Usually I just take her outside if we are in a restaurant. At home, I just say no and try to redirect and stay calm. Sometimes I unfortunately give in. Her tantrums often sound like she’s in pain and I get nervous which I guess is why I give in.

I’ve heard things about firm hugs or squeezing legs to regulate. Wondering if that works for anyone, or if there are other tactics out there.

Sometimes I feel like I’m being mean when I say no. I was raised by really critical and harsh parents so it’s possible I go overboard to not be like that. Even at 17 months, I’m finding the transition from “can’t spoil a newborn” to “disciplining a toddler” a little tough