u/deathnoot

IM TIRED OF IT

I don’t want to keep trying to learn, keep failing at this, it’s a fucking cycle, I hate it.

I don’t want to fucking do this for the rest of my life just because I’m lonely and wish I had more friends.

Why am I expected to put in 4x as much effort as a neurotypical for something that I might not even get the same reward for?!?!?! Everyone else can just flawlessly master conversation where I keep struggling. No one is wants to talk to me.

EDIT: i'm not currently able to go wherever i want outside, not all of us live in a city with a car, please take that into consideration.

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I try to be funny and stuff in DMs with people and show an interest, and stuff, but for literally every single person, even if we have a moment temporarily where we seem to click, the person will just take days to reply.

In the past I often got people who were really emotionally affectionate, and I was too to them, but then one day they just…stopped with that, and then acted cold and didn’t ever explain it.

Maybe it’s just online. But I tried to reconnect with a high school friend who also always takes days to reply after I double text.

I don’t know what to do.

Is it worth socializing anymore if it’s already difficult for my autistic ass and is only just going to get more difficult?

EDIT: i'm not currently able to go wherever i want outside, not all of us live in a city with a car, please take that into consideration.

Reddit isn’t for making friends, it’s just for making posts and having temporary interactions with ppl online. DMing people is considered weird and creepy.

Twitter sucks, your posts will get buried unless you have premium. I tried Twitter and no one talks to me on there despite me trying to be friendly to others. DMing people is considered weird and creepy.

Tumblr sucks. Communities are all filled with literal children and your posts will get no reach unless someone popular reblogs them. DMing people is considered weird and creepy.

TikTok is the root of all evil and also filled with literal children.

I don’t want to burn myself out trying to build an online following just for the sake of having friends. Social media sucks, real life sucks.

No, not all of us live in a great city where everything is 15 minutes away, not all of us have the ability to drive, some of us live in the middle of nowhere with dangerous roads. Some of us live in the country, even if we dont want to!

Lots of us do not have third spaces/places nearby. Everything and everywhere costs money. Not all of us live in some all accepting uwu liberal queer city like portland or seattle with queer meetups. and it's not our fault we live somewhere shitty.

Sometimes, even if you try your hardest, you'll still be excluded, but you shouldn't be required to give your 110% percent just for people to like you anyways. Sometimes you're just going to be the one coworker that never gets invited anywhere no matter how hard you try. Effort doesn't always yield results.

SOOOO many neurotypicals on here genuinely just do not understand our lives and absolutely have no interest in trying to.

The most common advice I see is just to join servers of your interests and talk to people, but that isnt working for me.

I dont know what it is. I say nice things, I compliment people on their art, I try to post funny memes, I respond to conversations, nothing is happening. It feels like its super easy for everyone else except me.

DMs are considered bad for some reason, so its not like I can go there.

What am I supposed to do, just keep talking in servers until I randomly get someones attention or a friend request?

"NOOO dont do dms thats weird and creepy! just join a server and talk in the channels!!!!"

ok, ive done that. i frequent multiple servers daily. guess what. no one wants to be my friend still.

i dont get it. why are so many young people able to instantly find full friend groups with minimal effort but despite me trying so hard no one seems to even notice me?

I dont wanna take this to an advice sub because its full of neurotypicals with no compassion or ability to see beyond their own perspective

It was a series of images that looked photorealistic but painted. It had a story with text in the images. I can't remember the exact way it went, but it had a protagonist going to the convenience store for food, before deciding they weren't hungry and going back home. Both on the drive to the store and back, there wasn't anyone else on the road, and no mention of anyone else at the store.

At home, the protagonist looked around the interior of their house, it was now covered in white stuff, as if it was all snowy and moldy. The implication of course is that they are dead and have been unable to go to the afterlife.

It was creepy.

It was a series of images that looked photorealistic but painted. It had a story with text in the images. I can't remember the exact way it went, but it had a protagonist going to the convenience store for food, before deciding they weren't hungry and going back home. Both on the drive to the store and back, there wasn't anyone else on the road, and no mention of anyone else at the store.

At home, the protagonist looked around the interior of their house, it was now covered in white stuff, as if it was all snowy and moldy. The implication of course is that they are dead and have been unable to go to the afterlife.

It was creepy.

I've noticed a surge in popularity in vocal synths, and it seems tastes have somewhat changed but remained consistent for a couple of years. Miku and Teto are popular, and I've noticed love for Neru, Teto, Adachi Rei, Rin, Kaai Yuki and now Xi Yi, etc.

But the only male vocal synth that has been consistently super popular is Kagamine Len. Other male vocaloids don't get anywhere near the level of attention he gets, and ones that once did kind of faded into obscurity (Fukase due to lack of updates and his license being extremely strict might have contributed to him fading, for instance. Others I'm not sure of, like even Kevin was pretty popular for a bit along with Solaria.)

I DO wonder why this has happened, as I figured since there's a lot of girls in the fandom they'd be more inclined than male users to like the male vocals, and that seemed to be the case in the past, but I digress. I'm not smart enough to analyze this stuff haha. If anyone wants to share their theories I'm all ears.

But anyways! Which male vocal synths do you like?

Personally I'm the most fond of Kaito, Piko, Oliver, VY2, Kevin, Asterian, Rouon Aro, etc.

It was like "people bully / hate you for no reason, your parents are ashamed etc"

I thought it was somewhat relatable

There's a lot of covers of "my favorite vocaloid song medley" and variations of it, and plenty that use all UTAUs. but theres one where the UTAU's voice providers sung a portion of the song alongside their voicebanks, but i cant find it.