u/deathnoot

No flowery cuz only 6 options are allowed

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I feel like if you’re on an app or website to make friends and meet up, you should be someone who wants to do these hints.

Pray tell, then why does every other person on these have the worst fucking commitment skills ever? Always ghosting, always giving shitty one word replies, it’s always me carrying the conversation, even if someone else starts first they always talk so lazily!!!

I wanna rip my hair out. Does anyone have any actually good friendship app recommendations?

I get that everyone is busy, but if you truly value someone, in my eyes you'll make time for them at least like...once a month? If they're a friend at least, you should WANT to spend time with them.

If you had to consistently pry a response out of an online friend for a long time, they only talk sparingly, and every time you tried to make plans they said they were too busy, but then they talk about their plans with other friends...would you not get suspicious?

There's nothing wrong with being busy, or just viewing someone as a casual acquaintance. but I think "oh i want to hang out but I'm too busy ><" after a certain point is just an excuse a lot of people use because its easier than just saying you dont wanna hang out.

The original version seems...gone. Idk how. I have windows 11.

Hello, if it's relevant, i was diagnosed with autism at 13. i was considered high functioning at the time, and i don't think that's changed, but i noticed i'm just not exactly...well, as well functioning as i thought. i only have one irl friend, i dropped out of college, i don't have a job or drivers license (im early 20s), i live at home, etc. i know logically i should do these things but the thought of driving scares me.

Back in 2024, I noticed when watching a show with a friend that...I just wasnt into it as much, like my mind was just disonnected from FICTION now.

Back in 2023-2024, I went through some mental stuff due to irl events that kinda made me feel horrific about everything to the point of disconnection and suicidal ideation. one would think that would be the cause, but as a teenager i also felt horrifically suicidal and disonnected too from some stuff, yet as a teenager i was able to still enjoy things. what could have changed?

i try watching a show. like i dont mind it and i enjoy it somewhat, but i'm just not connecting as hard to it as i would have beforehand.

and this all makes me scared. advice from certain large groups of people is often "go outside for a walk / touch grass / go for a hike" etc...but it just feels oddly dismissive.

i'm just really scared because i want to enjoy things again. i've heard that dopamine receptors can be fucked up from too much social media usage, but its not like they were fucked up when i was a teenager. everyone gives such mean spirited advice.

outside of getting better sleep i've heard about a "dopamine detox" where one goes a certain amount of time, like 2 weeks, without any social media, no internet, no tv, no video games, no drugs or alcohol, no junk food, the purpose is to reset your dopamine receptors, but idk if that will work. a lot of advice is very anecdotal and doesnt come from experts, let alone people who know what being autistic is like.

any help is appreciated, just be kind. i dont know how i can handle reality if FICTION is starting to make me less happy....because usually hyperfixations and being really good at a few things are like, the only upside to being autistic. if i don't have that then what do i have? i suck at social interaction, i have no friends either.

idk its like. i want to be involved in the furry fandom more, but i kinda just feel like everyone is inapprochable now. ever since it became "cool" to be one there's all these artists who naturally learn very quickly and are very popular, people younger than me with better social skills who become more accepted in furry spaces than i did despite trying hard.

i feel left out in discussions in shows, movies, games, etc. i like. i dont rly have the popular accepted opinion on a lot of stuff, its hard to often get my point across.

i dont really feel welcomed in mainstream autism spaces online. it feels like everyone on there has better social skills than me, and after seeing popular cutesey fanart someone drew of them doing raptor hands i feel...idk, do we really have the same disorder??

i know some people are just really socially competent despite having autism but i just feel...idk, left out.

like, most autistics struggle with getting a job, living on their own, having friends, often more likely to drop out, etc. most of us struggle a lot. why is that not seen more despite the huge weird fixation on autism in the current internet?

I feel like I’m going mentally insane. My brain constantly wants my friends to DM me more and initiate more and stuff but I know logically that will never happen, and I just…don’t know how to be content just by myself. It feels constant.

Part of me is hurt because most of my online friends NEVER initiate or show interest in me, I’m always the one talking first. Most people are like this, so I have no choice but to get used to it, but even though it’s so banal I’m suffering mentally.

I have only one irl friend I can only see once a week.

IM TIRED OF IT

I don’t want to keep trying to learn, keep failing at this, it’s a fucking cycle, I hate it.

I don’t want to fucking do this for the rest of my life just because I’m lonely and wish I had more friends.

Why am I expected to put in 4x as much effort as a neurotypical for something that I might not even get the same reward for?!?!?! Everyone else can just flawlessly master conversation where I keep struggling. No one is wants to talk to me.

EDIT: i'm not currently able to go wherever i want outside, not all of us live in a city with a car, please take that into consideration.

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I try to be funny and stuff in DMs with people and show an interest, and stuff, but for literally every single person, even if we have a moment temporarily where we seem to click, the person will just take days to reply.

In the past I often got people who were really emotionally affectionate, and I was too to them, but then one day they just…stopped with that, and then acted cold and didn’t ever explain it.

Maybe it’s just online. But I tried to reconnect with a high school friend who also always takes days to reply after I double text.

I don’t know what to do.

Is it worth socializing anymore if it’s already difficult for my autistic ass and is only just going to get more difficult?

EDIT: i'm not currently able to go wherever i want outside, not all of us live in a city with a car, please take that into consideration.

Reddit isn’t for making friends, it’s just for making posts and having temporary interactions with ppl online. DMing people is considered weird and creepy.

Twitter sucks, your posts will get buried unless you have premium. I tried Twitter and no one talks to me on there despite me trying to be friendly to others. DMing people is considered weird and creepy.

Tumblr sucks. Communities are all filled with literal children and your posts will get no reach unless someone popular reblogs them. DMing people is considered weird and creepy.

TikTok is the root of all evil and also filled with literal children.

I don’t want to burn myself out trying to build an online following just for the sake of having friends. Social media sucks, real life sucks.

No, not all of us live in a great city where everything is 15 minutes away, not all of us have the ability to drive, some of us live in the middle of nowhere with dangerous roads. Some of us live in the country, even if we dont want to!

Lots of us do not have third spaces/places nearby. Everything and everywhere costs money. Not all of us live in some all accepting uwu liberal queer city like portland or seattle with queer meetups. and it's not our fault we live somewhere shitty.

Sometimes, even if you try your hardest, you'll still be excluded, but you shouldn't be required to give your 110% percent just for people to like you anyways. Sometimes you're just going to be the one coworker that never gets invited anywhere no matter how hard you try. Effort doesn't always yield results.

SOOOO many neurotypicals on here genuinely just do not understand our lives and absolutely have no interest in trying to.

The most common advice I see is just to join servers of your interests and talk to people, but that isnt working for me.

I dont know what it is. I say nice things, I compliment people on their art, I try to post funny memes, I respond to conversations, nothing is happening. It feels like its super easy for everyone else except me.

DMs are considered bad for some reason, so its not like I can go there.

What am I supposed to do, just keep talking in servers until I randomly get someones attention or a friend request?