u/haligma

or is it just something wrong with me? i suspect it's that. i'm going through a breakup & he was the bestest friend i've ever had. him & i were very similar & i've never felt the same bond with anyone. no one is like me. so it's harder to connect. i wish we never dated & just stayed best friends. towards the end he started his friends way better than me anyway & i was the third wheel. i tell myself i'll move on & find someone better but i don't know if that's ever going to happen. i can't even connect with people on a basic level. i want to love again & be loved. for me that's the strong deepest connection you can ever have with someone but i'm worried it won't happen for me again. we only became friends & later lovers bc he was talkative. and so we talked everyday. and it was a coincidence that he understood me like no one ever has. i can't even make a conversation interesting. not anymore at least.

i'm so sad. all the time. i miss him so bad. he was my person. we had the best bond. but he hurt me too too much & would've continued hurting me even though he never means to. he's just dumb at best. and i unintentionally hurt him too. i wish it never came to this & he'd still be my person, always on my side. i just got lucky with him & i was so grateful for that. now i'm back to being lonely wondering how people find their people. i'm scared i'll die alone. my university life is going shit & i feel like i'm wasting my university life like i did with my teenage life. maybe i'll always be depressed lonely & never feel joy or happiness.

maybe it's bc i haven't spent most of my life in a big, diverse city. it's mostly that. all these opportunities being offered, i've never even heard of. so many big words that intimidate me. i don't know anything about anything. how shit works. how people around me know everything. did they have someone to teach them? is that what comes with being upper class/well off? how does almost everyone in my class seem like some hardworking professional at age 18? where are they getting all these skills i've never even heard of before from? how do they have so many connections, given how introverted some of them are? i feel like a little kid among them.

it could be my lack of communication & social skills, being middle class with very limited opportunities in life, suddenly stepping into islamabad out of all places, surrounded by people in a better financial situation than me. everything overwhelms me & no one tells you about this stuff. how do people figure this shit out on their own? especially at such young ages? i wish someone told me i was wasting my teenage. and that i should've been building something for myself. it feels unfair. depressing & overwhelming. i'm about to start my third year & it's embarrassing still being this uninformed & clueless about the professional world, no connections, no skills, no clue where to start, no motivation. the world is so big scary & overwhelming & it feels like time is running out. all my peers are way ahead of me. i'm slower & dumber than them. i hate that life is a competition & you have to have some sort of professional experience & a job where you slave your life away to justify your existence. i wish it was just to be happy, however that looks for every person, but that's a long debate i'm not getting into.

i can't blame him for what he did. but he's hurt me a lot in the relationship. he's not a bad person. he's always had good intentions. our issues were too unfixable. we ended on good terms & it was painful bc we still loved each other so much. we've had three breakups & the first two were mostly bc of how bad he hurt me. pain that i feel traumatized by. even before the third breakup everything was hell & i cried everyday for two months feeling unloved uncared for & neglected. all that fucked up my perception of what love actually looks like & now i cry seeing how men treat the woman they love. i blame him for a tiny amount of hurt that he caused bc those actions he did have control over. whatever led to the first breakup, i can never find it in my heart to forgive him for it. the pain still lasts to this day.

we broke up late may. and this time for good. it took me a lot of courage to finally delete his pictures, remove him everywhere & block him. something we didn't do in the previous breakups. which was also bc i was still holding onto hope. but this time i decided it was enough. i've been way too hurt & have hurt him a lot too, to the point where i never want that to repeat. that's why i blocked him. it hurt too much. things started going downhill early april & since then i'd lost all hope.

i think of everything that hurt me & ouch. i wish him well. i just want to move on. and never repeat this cycle ever again. it's hard when i know he's not to blame & that he never intended any of that. he's always been a good, respectful person. how do i move on now.

finally blocked him about two days ago. the breakup wasn't nasty. we still love each other. i don't understand why i love him so much. he's unintentionally hurt me so much in the relationship. but he was always a good person. never misbehaved with me, never lashed out at me. never. he just had too many issues & i did too. we broke up late may & i finally gathered the strength to block him two days ago. and i've felt suffocated & fucked up since then. i miss him terribly. i wish we could be together. i wish we could still love each other like how we wanted to forever. but we can't. it took me three breakups with him to realize that he's not the kind of person i want to date & it hurts. it hurts admitting that.

i feel so fucked man. i can't live without love but i don't think someone like me can ever have love again. it's so uncomfortable & uneasy knowing i'll never talk to him again. ouch. i'll never see him again. lord. he's so fucking beautiful idk how i can ever not be in love with him his body his face. they were all perfect i swear to god. i feel so uneasy. my best friend. the only person who understood my complex weird personality, gone. my caretaker, lover, helper, everything. all gone. how the fuck do you cope with that genuinely

had three breakups but never went nc. i blocked him about 15 hours ago. i did try to block him about two weeks ago. we said everything we had to say or stuff we hid from each other. that fucking convo took 10 hours & at the end we were drained in every way from the hours of crying & the intense emotions. at the end i bailed out bc i couldn't believe we'd never talk ever again.

i was crying last night over something that he said that brought back all the pain of why we aren't together anymore & after i was don't crying i went numb & didn't take long to say goodbye.

i've been numb ever since. i have teared up a few times since. i finally deleted all his pictures too. unfriended him on dc, left the server we were in. i figured it was best to do this while i was still numb bc i don't have the balls to do it when i'm not. i finally deleted the spotify playlist i made him too.

i'm still numb now but i just feel so. suffocated. deeply uncomfortable. i miss him really bad. i wish we were together & everything was ok but it can't be. i truly believe it can never be. a tiny part of me still wants to keep hope but i have to remind myself of everything that hurt in the relationship & tell myself that it's not worth it. no matter how deeply i love him, it's not worth it. god. i think the numbness is starting to go away.

i feel so lost & uneasy. i want to love again. i am so full of love it hurts to keep it in. i hope i heal & find the right person this time. but i feel so traumatized. i feel like i was such an innocent bubble lively loving person going into the relationship. and now i just feel completely destroyed. like all that innocence is gone. i feel like i can never feel safe in love again. i want love but i think i'm scared of it now. i hope i can finally get god on my side for once.

NO MINORS so bored depressed out of my fucking mind can someone play with me rn

why why why why the fuck am i like this why am i so fucked up why have i aluws been alone & the one person i thought finally understood me & accepted & loved me for me is gone too bc i fucked even that up like i fuck everything up all i ever wanted was to be loved admired & made feel special but no no no fucking no it's always too much to ask for i can't fucking make friend si don't fit in i'm an anomaly nothing like the rest i fucking hate this i hate this

i fuckun wish i had my oerson like everyone else does. i wish i was special enough to someone that they'd understand.why am i always left out why am i always out of place why do i not belong among others why am i so fucking different

fucking nothing is ok idk how i can chnage i'm a lazy useless good for nothing motherfucker i don't do shit i'm dumb & rely on others to help i half ass everything i'm genuinely a shit person that's probably why no one likes me

i yearn like a bitch to be loved everyday. but i know that's not going to happen. no one would be stupid enough to fall in love with a stupid useless good for nothing shitbag like me. but god fucking damn do i fucking wish i had a lover so bad. fuck this world

can't reply to texts can't do shit i'm supposed to be doing can't book my next therapist appointment. i'm so fucking alone. it feels like every new person i meet is the same basic boring happy person. they all have the same interests & a lame npc sense of humor. i know i'm being harsh but i'm so tired now. it's so painful being alone. i wish i had a lover. i feel so pathetic imagining a lover holding me comforting me being sweet to me all the time. i have no likeable qualities. no one would want to love me. and i know it's up to me to make myself better. i miss my ex but i can never go back to him. i've been hurt way too much & no matter how much i love him, he's not someone i can or want to be with. i haven't felt happy in what feels like forever. i can't feel happiness or joy anymore. everyone around me seems to be doing just fine. they have friends, a comfortable life, they go out regularly, eat good, take pictures, enjoy life. i wish i was like everyone else. i know i don't find them interesting & find them boring but they're ultimately the ones that are happier. i cry praying to god to make me normal. just like everyone else. i'm so fucking sad all the time fucking hell

this shit is making me want to k word myself worse lord. the tiny shred of motivation i had to get up & do something has crumbled. as if i don't have enough problems to cry over already, this fuckass garmi is making me cry more out of frustration. i don't have the energy to cut my hair either. don't have the energy to even think about scheduling my next therapist appointment. anyone else feel the same?

an outlier. an alien. not human. someone who's not meant or made for this world, social relationships & life. i am alone. too self aware for my own good. i see parts of myself in my parents & it's revolting. i'm not supposed to exist. i sometimes find myself surprised by how i managed to survive in this world for so long. but when i really think about it, by surviving i only mean being alive. but in every other sense, i'm not. my mind has made me suffer a great deal for years. it has made me & others victims of it. it sabotages me at every turn making sure i don't ever feel true belongingness. i hope death takes revenge on it. i am not scared of death. nothing is scarier than life. only thing people realistically fear about death is permanent change. which feels a bit silly too bc they won't even be around to live through that change anymore.

my personality traits & the type of person i am don't work in this world. i feel like i will forever be trapped by my mind, holding me back from ever truly living. i don't know what true happiness or joy look like. i can't even comprehend these feelings. i just have to somehow accept it & live as an alien, unable to understand human connection & interactions, just doing enough to blend in. i despise being inauthentic but i now know that it's something that is wrong with me, not me being deceptive. until i finally achieve that, i'll be this lonely lost uninformed depressed alien & try to help myself out as i have done my whole life.

summer vacation boring as hell. does anyone want to hop on call & play roblox together at night. idk many good games though so you can put me on too. NO MINORS PLEASE. would be a fun way to connect too. LET'S PLAY

summer vacation boring as hell. does anyone want to hop on call & play roblox together at night. idk many good games though so you can put me on too. NO MINORS PLEASE. would be a fun way to connect too. LET'S PLAY

no one can do shit by themselves anymore. need to add a png of an apple to your presentation slides? just drain gallons of water for that. no need to google search an image that takes 10 seconds. too much work right. you're getting paid to teach a class of students & need to prepare slides for it? no worries, a fucking clanker can do it for you. you don't even have to know what's on there. just get it to do your job for you, get the slides & just read off them. so easy right. you need information just one google search away? don't worry, water guzzler over here can do that just as easily. and the only upside is, it destroys the very planet you're living on!!! ☺️ oh you have to answer a very basic question you already know the answer to? LMAO imagine having to THINK for 5 seconds. how embarrassing right.

need to write a few short sentences about YOURSELF? lmao loser imagine being able to do that 🤣👎👎👎 need help from a classmate with class content you don't understand? you'll never guess what their answer is 😨😨😨 "yaar gpt se poocho us ko sab kuch pata hota he." no fucking shit einstein. if i wanted to i would've. and another thing. fym gpt??? "mera gpt ye karta he, mera gpt wo"????? hello????? we're humanizing bots now??????? the very things we've always hated for always ruining everything???????????

thinking is for losers. doing homework is for losers. critical thinking was never a common thing in pakistan & the tiny bit that was still thriving is dying out too. why does no one find ai generated slop videos & images just so. uncomfortable to look at? don't even get me started on "graphic designers" who outsource all creativity & all their WORK to a fucking clanker. you're in a creative field. but you're doing none of the creativity? ok i guess. how does no one understand how harmful this is for them. aside from the environmental impact & all. oh yes bc all critical thinking is dead. heck, all THINKING is dead. no one can write shit anymore. and ofc greedy asses are capitalizing on the unawareness among people & SELLING courses that teach you how to use ai for idk what. like it's not something that has wide accessibility & is easy to use even for those who can't read or write. disgusting. the rage i feel when i ask a classmate a simple question & they give me that braindead response is unmatched. they even got toppers by their necks bro 🙏 what the fuck is the point of a group discussion, where we're given something to think critically about & articulate it how we understood it, when you're handing that work to a machine who's not even the student... bitch the teacher asked US, the humans, their students, for our understanding, thoughts, perception & opinion not a fucking know-it-all machine bro what the heck 😭 i will never understand using ai where it's VERY obviously not supposed to be used. i will never not judge someone for that. it feels like a stab in the back everytime i see a topper student use ai for stupid shit like this. like you too??? don't even get me started on humanities students using ai. yes we should all be boycotting cognitive offloading that's destroying earth but when it's a humanities student it's a different kind of pain. you're going against what you should be standing for & do stand for. i get using ai where you feel like there genuinely is no help & ydk what to do. but turning your brain off just to get stuff done quickly? is it really worth all that water, environmental ruin & your cognitive decline?

please educate yourself on ai use & how it impacts the environment & your brain. i know it looks like the easiest, most accessible solution to every problem, but that's the harm in it. please research how data centers use water & how they're depleting it. educate your friends as well. this is a serious issue. we need to bring back critical thinking (modern day socrates over here).

no one can do shit by themselves anymore. need to add a png of an apple to your presentation slides? just drain gallons of water for that. no need to google search an image that takes 10 seconds. too much work right. you're getting paid to teach a class of students & need to prepare slides for it? no worries, a fucking clanker can do it for you. you don't even have to know what's on there. just get it to do your job for you, get the slides & just read off them. so easy right. you need information just one google search away? don't worry, water guzzler over here can do that just as easily. and the only upside is, it destroys the very planet you're living on!!! ☺️ oh you have to answer a very basic question you already know the answer to? LMAO imagine having to THINK for 5 seconds. how embarrassing right.

need to write a few short sentences about YOURSELF? lmao loser imagine being able to do that 🤣👎👎👎 need help from a classmate with class content you don't understand? you'll never guess what their answer is 😨😨😨 "yaar gpt se poocho us ko sab kuch pata hota he." no fucking shit einstein. if i wanted to i would've. and another thing. fym gpt??? "mera gpt ye karta he, mera gpt wo"????? hello????? we're humanizing bots now??????? the very things we've always hated for always ruining everything???????????

thinking is for losers. doing homework is for losers. critical thinking was never a common thing in pakistan & the tiny bit that was still thriving is dying out too. why does no one find ai generated slop videos & images just so. uncomfortable to look at? don't even get me started on "graphic designers" who outsource all creativity & all their WORK to a fucking clanker. you're in a creative field. but you're doing none of the creativity? ok i guess. how does no one understand how harmful this is for them. aside from the environmental impact & all. oh yes bc all critical thinking is dead. heck, all THINKING is dead. no one can write shit anymore. and ofc greedy asses are capitalizing on the unawareness among people & SELLING courses that teach you how to use ai for idk what. like it's not something that has wide accessibility & is easy to use even for those who can't read or write. disgusting. the rage i feel when i ask a classmate a simple question & they give me that braindead response is unmatched. they even got toppers by their necks bro 🙏 what the fuck is the point of a group discussion, where we're given something to think critically about & articulate it how we understood it, when you're handing that work to a machine who's not even the student... bitch the teacher asked US, the humans, their students, for our understanding, thoughts, perception & opinion not a fucking know-it-all machine bro what the heck 😭 i will never understand using ai where it's VERY obviously not supposed to be used. i will never not judge someone for that. it feels like a stab in the back everytime i see a topper student use ai for stupid shit like this. like you too??? don't even get me started on humanities students using ai. yes we should all be boycotting cognitive offloading that's destroying earth but when it's a humanities student it's a different kind of pain. you're going against what you should be standing for & do stand for. i get using ai where you feel like there genuinely is no help & ydk what to do. but turning your brain off just to get stuff done quickly? is it really worth all that water, environmental ruin & your cognitive decline?

please educate yourself on ai use & how it impacts the environment & your brain. i know it looks like the easiest, most accessible solution to every problem, but that's the harm in it. please research how data centers use water & how they're depleting it. educate your friends as well. this is a serious issue. we need to bring back critical thinking (modern day socrates over here).

no one can do shit by themselves anymore. need to add a png of an apple to your presentation slides? just drain gallons of water for that. no need to google search an image that takes 10 seconds. too much work right. you're getting paid to teach a class of students & need to prepare slides for it? no worries, a fucking clanker can do it for you. you don't even have to know what's on there. just get it to do your job for you, get the slides & just read off them. so easy right. you need information just one google search away? don't worry, water guzzler over here can do that just as easily. and the only upside is, it destroys the very planet you're living on!!! ☺️ oh you have to answer a very basic question you already know the answer to? LMAO imagine having to THINK for 5 seconds. how embarrassing right.

need to write a few short sentences about YOURSELF? lmao loser imagine being able to do that 🤣👎👎👎 need help from a classmate with class content you don't understand? you'll never guess what their answer is 😨😨😨 "yaar gpt se poocho us ko sab kuch pata hota he." no fucking shit einstein. if i wanted to i would've. and another thing. fym gpt??? "mera gpt ye karta he, mera gpt wo"????? hello????? we're humanizing bots now??????? the very things we've always hated for always ruining everything???????????

thinking is for losers. doing homework is for losers. critical thinking was never a common thing in pakistan & the tiny bit that was still thriving is dying out too. why does no one find ai generated slop videos & images just so. uncomfortable to look at? don't even get me started on "graphic designers" who outsource all creativity & all their WORK to a fucking clanker. you're in a creative field. but you're doing none of the creativity? ok i guess. how does no one understand how harmful this is for them. aside from the environmental impact & all. oh yes bc all critical thinking is dead. heck, all THINKING is dead. no one can write shit anymore. and ofc greedy asses are capitalizing on the unawareness among people & SELLING courses that teach you how to use ai for idk what. like it's not something that has wide accessibility & is easy to use even for those who can't read or write. disgusting. the rage i feel when i ask a classmate a simple question & they give me that braindead response is unmatched. they even got toppers by their necks bro 🙏 what the fuck is the point of a group discussion, where we're given something to think critically about & articulate it how we understood it, when you're handing that work to a machine who's not even the student... bitch the teacher asked US, the humans, their students, for our understanding, thoughts, perception & opinion not a fucking know-it-all machine bro what the heck 😭 i will never understand using ai where it's VERY obviously not supposed to be used. i will never not judge someone for that. it feels like a stab in the back everytime i see a topper student use ai for stupid shit like this. like you too??? don't even get me started on humanities students using ai. yes we should all be boycotting cognitive offloading that's destroying earth but when it's a humanities student it's a different kind of pain. you're going against what you should be standing for & do stand for. i get using ai where you feel like there genuinely is no help & ydk what to do. but turning your brain off just to get stuff done quickly? is it really worth all that water, environmental ruin & your cognitive decline?

please educate yourself on ai use & how it impacts the environment & your brain. i know it looks like the easiest, most accessible solution to every problem, but that's the harm in it. please research how data centers use water & how they're depleting it. educate your friends as well. this is a serious issue. we need to bring back critical thinking (modern day socrates over here).

no one can do sh¡t by themselves anymore. need to add a png of an apple to your presentation slides? just drain gallons of water for that. no need to google search an image that takes 10 seconds. too much work right. you're getting paid to teach a class of students & need to prepare slides for it? no worries, a fuck¡ng clanker can do it for you. you don't even have to know what's on there. just get it to do your job for you, get the slides & just read off them. so easy right. you need information just one google search away? don't worry, water guzzler over here can do that just as easily. and the only upside is, it destroys the very planet you're living on!!! ☺️ oh you have to answer a very basic question you already know the answer to? LMAO imagine having to THINK for 5 seconds. how embarrassing right.

need to write a few short sentences about YOURSELF? lmao loser imagine being able to do that 🤣👎👎👎 need help from a classmate with class content you don't understand? you'll never guess what their answer is 😨😨😨 "yaar gpt se poocho us ko sab kuch pata hota he." no fuck¡ng shit einstein. if i wanted to i would've. and another thing. fym gpt??? "mera gpt ye karta he, mera gpt wo"????? hello????? we're humanizing bots now??????? the very things we've always hated for always ruining everything???????????

thinking is for losers. doing homework is for losers. critical thinking was never a common thing in pakistan & the tiny bit that was still thriving is dying out too. why does no one find ai generated slop videos & images just so. uncomfortable to look at? don't even get me started on "graphic designers" who outsource all creativity & all their WORK to a fucking clanker. you're in a creative field. but you're doing none of the creativity? ok i guess. how does no one understand how harmful this is for them. aside from the environmental impact & all. oh yes bc all critical thinking is dead. heck, all THINKING is dead. no one can write shit anymore. and ofc greedy asses are capitalizing on the unawareness among people & SELLING courses that teach you how to use ai for idk what. like it's not something that has wide accessibility & is easy to use even for those who can't read or write. disgusting. the rage i feel when i ask a classmate a simple question & they give me that braindead response is unmatched. they even got toppers by their necks bro 🙏 what the fuçk is the point of a group discussion, where we're given something to think critically about & articulate it how we understood it, when you're handing that work to a machine who's not even the student... b¡tch the teacher asked US, the humans, their students, for our understanding, thoughts, perception & opinion not a fuck¡ng know-it-all machine bro what the heck 😭 i will never understand using ai where it's VERY obviously not supposed to be used. i will never not judge someone for that. it feels like a stab in the back everytime i see a topper student use ai for stupid sh¡t like this. like you too??? don't even get me started on humanities students using ai. yes we should all be boycotting cognitive offloading that's destroying earth but when it's a humanities student it's a different kind of pain. you're going against what you should be standing for & do stand for. i get using ai where you feel like there genuinely is no help & ydk what to do. but turning your brain off just to get stuff done quickly? is it really worth all that water, environmental ruin & your cognitive decline?

please educate yourself on ai use & how it impacts the environment & your brain. i know it looks like the easiest, most accessible solution to every problem, but that's the harm in it. please research how data centers use water & how they're depleting it. educate your friends as well. this is a serious issue. we need to bring back critical thinking (modern day socrates over here).

need friends in rwp who listen to metal (i really enjoy nu metal) who can put me onto some good shit. hmu if you have recs.

broke up exactly a month ago but this was our third & most likely final. we're not nc but we don't talk a lot either. i wanted us to block each other, i brought it up with him, we said everything we had to say, but when the time came i couldn't. we cried throughout the whole 10 hour conversation (i fucking know). it was really emotionally intense. i physically couldn't get myself to block him. i decided id just mute & archive his chat. but i miss him so fucking bad. i miss everything we had 10x more now. i miss his face his voice his presence, talking to him everything. idk how i'm going to do this. i have no one. being lonely only makes it worse. i can't go back to him. it'll hurt too much. probably never can. but i want him back so bad. i miss his love i miss loving him. i miss having that special person in my life to share everything with. he is the exact person id always looked for & now he's just gone. i can probably never find anyone like him in this world again. i miss him so bad it hurts. sometimes i wish we never met. i miss talking to him. i have no one to tell anything now. no one that understands my stupid complex personality & the person i am. i'm in so much pain. i want him to come back but i know we'll probably never have a good relationship either way :( fucking hell

more specifically the aspect of the unique philosophical/ethical position john as a villain holds in order to justify his actions. i loved how he wasn't just a one dimensional black or white, typical evil villain, but someone with a deep, self righteous albeit twisted philosophical outlook on life. how sometimes his reasons to test his victims would make you actually stop in your tracks & think. i loved the moral & ethical dilemma aspect of it. i think the extreme nature of the gore & torture only added to it. give me your best recs.

took me three breakups to realize he wasn't the one for me. our breakups were never nasty. we never fought or got angry at each other. we've tried our hardest to fix things multiple times. but with more & more problems i've realized that he's not the person i want to date, aside from his severe anxiety that only surrounded me & no one else in his life, which would leave me feeling alone as he would stop seeing me irl. i realized that he wasn't the same person he showed me dreams of. i don't blame him for it. he's not the person he led me to believe. i'm so bummed. he is the most beautiful person i know with the rarest personality i've ever seen in anyone.

i miss him so much. i know that even if we stayed together id still be unhappy with the relationship & that he wouldn't be able to do probably anything about it. he's such a sensible, wise, mature person i've ever known. he's the perfect son, brother, friend, everything, but he just. doesn't understand even the most seemingly common sensical stuff when it comes to relationships. and that always made me so sad. it even hurt on several occasions. he's not a bad person. he just. doesn't understand. even if it seems really basic. and idk why that is. he's really smart sensible & mature. but he just doesn't understand so much.

deep down he loved me. he really did. but love isn't enough to keep a relationship going. i love him a lot too. it hurts so much. i want to move on. it hurts to say this but i deserve better. matter of fact, we both do. i hope i don't go looking for him in everyone. i hope i can find my person. but till then, how do i move on from him? i know id be stuck in a one sided feeling relationship if we didn't split. he has too many issues that he needs to fix before he can ever date again. and i'm not his therapist. i don't think i ever want to be with him again. i wish. but it's not realistically possible. ouch. help me out here please. i know the title makes it seem really obvious. if he's not for me, it should logically be easy to move on. but i'm here crying everyday. but i've realized that it's not so much bc i miss him or want him back, but bc of everything in the relationship that hurt me that i sat through for so long. anyone in my position would've left. so that's another thing. i'm hoping all that hurt makes it easier to move on too. i don't think i can ever go back. all that pain is too much.