Does anyone else feel this way?
I’ve been single my entire life. I’ve never really had someone I could come home to, fall asleep next to, or simply hold when I’m having a difficult night.
For a long time, I tried to accept that. A while ago, I even bought a dakimakura because I wanted to have something I could hold at night. And honestly, it does help a little. It gives me at least some sense of comfort when I’m lying in bed alone.
But lately, I’ve noticed that something has changed.
Sometimes, when I’m about to go to bed and I start thinking about being alone and how I’ve never experienced having a partner, it gets physically overwhelming. I can start shaking, and sometimes I get this strange feeling of pressure around my throat. I can still breathe, but it feels difficult and uncomfortable, almost like there’s something tightening around my neck.
It’s a really strange feeling because it isn’t just “I wish I had a relationship.” It feels like my body is reacting to the loneliness itself.
And I honestly don’t know what to do with that.
I’m not looking for someone who has to tell me “you’ll find someone eventually.” I know nobody can promise that. I’m more interested in hearing from people who have experienced something similar.
Have you ever reached a point where being alone for so long started affecting you physically or emotionally? How do you deal with it, especially at night?