u/safetyspiders

Went to a metal music gig tonight. Was by myself. Then this man (in his 50s or 60s I'd wager) walks in wearing the most obnoxiously orange outfit--orange beret orange sweater and camoflauge coloured khaki shorts. He was moving weirdly, like with this twitchy swagger. There was this perpetual smile/grin on his face. I thought his eyeballs were pitch black at first, but later up close I realised his pupils were completely blown. Definitely on something. I wouldn't have minded (like pop off king have your fun) BUT THEN

I see him with a teenager (my age). They're whispering and touching in the crowd. The dude looks so uncanny so I find it strange and go outside for a breather. The two of them come out, start walking along the rooftop. The teenager starts asking me where I'm from and stuff. I find out that the older man is his boyfriend. The teenager compliments my hair and then the older man asks if he can buy me a drink.

i politely decline, but he presses, saying they're both so drunk they need me to use the rest of their drinking money. i decline again and go back to the crowd to watch the band. they follow me and the older man has his eyes on me the whole time I'm trying to headbang and mind my own damn business. then he starts touching my back and whispering right up in my ear. i get the creeps and leave the event early.

anyway. strange guy. wish i got to see the rest of the bands but oh well.

I'm moving to Leicester from Malaysia for uni in September and I was wondering about the lgbt scene. Obviously it's very quiet and underground in Malaysia so it'll be bigger than over here, but are there any standout organizations/bars/events that Leicester is known for?

hey guys!!

i'm 19 years old and graduated high school in may! Just moved out of my parents' place and am now hopping between art and acting gigs. I'm a writer/poet, super into grunge and punk music and I'm trying to find more queer safe spaces in KL! drop me a message if you're interested :)

This sentence always makes my heart sink when I hear it. I live in a country where being gay isn't quite legal, though in the bigger city areas people are usually more accepting. But whenever I meet someone new and tell them I'm bi, a common answer I'll receive is "oh yeah I'm not against being lgbt, but I just don't wanna be included" or "I'm not gay and I never will be" or even "people can live their lives how they choose, but that's not for me."

I dont understand it. It's like they're treating a sexuality as a diet or something. Like what do they think "including" them means? Dragging them to a pride parade against their will??

It just feels like such a dismissive sentence. Like yeah a lot of queer people adopt it as a lifestyle (e.g integrating into art or going to queer focused events), but they make it sound like being invited to something like that would be vulgar or something.

I don't know... It's just that you'll never catch me saying "oh I'm okay with straight people, just don't include me"

I've lived in Malaysia my whole life, and I'm moving to Portland in August for college. I've visited the states 3 times (the last time was 9 years ago, when I was 10), but have never been to Portland or Oregon. I know the culture there is going to be wildly different from what I'm used to--but is there anything specific I should be looking out for?

I went into the IB bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to sculpt myself into an academic weapon. Coming from a lower class family who survives paycheck to paycheck (I could only afford to attend school because my mom teaches there and I got free tuition), I knew I'd have to work my ass off if I wanted to go to university overseas. I live in a country where lgbt people are prosecuted, so uni in another country has always been my way out. That meant I'd have to score a full scholarship.

So I WORKED. I worked so hard. I sacrificed all my hobbies. I stopped writing poetry and drawing and playing video games. I got a predicted 43/45 and got accepted into some AMAZING schools.

Then, 2 months before mocks in 12th grade, my battery ran out. I was done. I was suffering from 4 diagnosed mental illnesses, I was getting into my dream universities but being rejected from all scholarship opportunities, and the mere idea of studying for my exams was just so heavy and overwhelming. I missed the last two months of classes because of how bad it got. The school literally paid for my therapy.

I did my best when finals came around. I don't have much hope for results day, but it ultimately doesn't matter because I don't have a single university left. Thankfully I have a US citizenship and can leave my home country, but I won't be able to get a higher education any time soon. I'll have to live off of minimum wage and prayers.

I've done a lot of reflecting on my downfall. How I started out as an honour roll student in 5 clubs and ended up walking into my last math exam without having even reviewed a single formula in the 3 months prior. What I realised is that I treated IB as too much of a commitment. I saw it as the most important thing in my life. Every assignment was something I poured my heart and soul into; I didn't dare half ass anything.

So LISTEN. If you're a perfectionist or an overachiever or someone with high academic ambition, DO NOT LET IB TAKE OVER. Don't let go of your hobbies. Don't cancel plans with your friends because you have an IA draft due tomorrow. It'll drain you. It'll ruin you.

IB is tough. Good luck, and stay true to yourself <3

I have always eaten on the conventionally "healthier" side. I was raised in a vegan, low-sugar, junk-food-free household--so I've habitually adapted a lot of eating habits that make me naturally stray from eating greasy or sugary food. I eat what makes me feel physically fulfilled--e.g a lot of nuts, salads with sauces I like to invent myself, etc.

However--i recently graduated, which means I haven't been taking PE classes or walking the huge campus hallways/staircases every day, which means I'm burning fewer calories since my lifestyle has become much more sedentary. Being at home/out most of the time also means I have access and time for eating more.

As a result, I put on a little weight--most of which has accumulated in my stomach. This made me feel really insecure. I was going to start going to the gym, but then I read that weight loss is largely attained via diet--so I started eating at a calorie deficit.

I think it's working? It's been a few weeks and I've dropped a couple kg, but my weight also fluctuates a lot through my menstrual cycle so it's hard to tell. But what really bugs me is how aware I have to be of my food. Counting calories and restricting myself from eating stuff I love is just... Disheartening. I'll feel so guilty if I sneak in an extra piece of sushi or snatch a handful of peanuts on my way out. Some days I reeeeaally didn't eat enough (I was relying on coffee to stay awake for work and it significantly reduced my appetite... weird caffeine quirk), and now I think it's catching up to me because I'll find myself hungry at 1am craving SOMETHING of sustenance--only to refuse myself because I've "eaten enough" for the day and I don't want to feel that horrible horrible guilt.

Am I doing this wrong? I must be, because I feel like a weight loss journey shouldn't feel so upsetting. I don't want to ruin my relationship with food, and I'm afraid I've already started down that path; sometimes I even feel embarrassed ordering at a restaurant--like I'll think "what if the chef knows I'm nearing my calorie count and thinks I'm gross for ordering this?" Even though I know that's ridiculous, I still think it.

For those who struggled like this in the beginning of your journey--how did you cope? What can I do to do this healthily?

For two years I was perpetually stressed. There was always something undone that I was putting off--some assignment I'd been procrastinating that just nagged at the back of my head. My body became so accustomed to the feeling of being under pressure.

I graduated a month ago, and I haven't once been able to relax. I have these manic episodes in which I HAVE to do something NOW and I NEED to be stressed about it or else the world will end. But I'm also so burnt out that all of these endeavours just end up being pointless. Like I'll literally try learning to play piano or skateboard or deep clean my kitchen until I'm exhausted and crash, and then I'll wake up and get dressed and live an entire day of just constantly doing something that eventually amounts to... Nothing. I still can't skateboard.

Man. I miss being able to relax.