u/22-MontaLou

TL;DR - Happy in the relationship & want to continue, but don't want to live together.

Hi all,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half. This is my first significant relationship. We are both in our mid-30s.

I have lived alone for the last 13 years and have loved every second of it. Truly, I LOVE living alone. I have joked for years that if I end up getting married, I would love to be next-door neighbors.

My boyfriend currently lives about 25 minutes away. He stays with me 3-4 nights per week.

I was clear in the very beginning of our relationship that alone time is very important to me, and he has always respected that.

At our 1 year, we talked about what we want to see over year 2 as progress in our relationship. He posed the question, "when do we start talking about moving in together?" I said that I would like to start having serious conversations about it by the end of year 2.

But, we're halfway through and I just still really love living alone 😂 I love when he is over, I love spending time with him, and I want this relationship to continue. BUT, I also love when he is gone and I have the house to myself for a night or two. To be clear, when he is gone I do miss him... but I also just love having the space to myself. Honestly, sometimes I think I'd rather him only spend 2-3 night per week instead of 3-4.

Advice from others who are or have been in similar situations?

I've been a SW for 13 years. I love social work and I love being a social worker. But, I don't want to be a therapist!!

I've done child welfare for the last decade- CPS, foster care, on-call, supervision, etc., and now I'm totally burnt out on it. I am more than ready to launch into a new realm of social work. I have an MSW and a wealth of knowledge in this field, but have been unbelievably frustrated when looking for jobs because the entire field is geared toward clinical work.

I didn't get a social work degree to be a therapist. I believe LCSW's play a valuable and important role within social work, but it is not the only important social work.

I make $83k salary (with benefits) in CPS... when I look for any job in social work that is not an LCSW, I'm looking at $55k MAX. It is so frustrating!!

Are we just going to continue see this field narrow?

Looking for new bingeworthy podcast recommendations!

Here are a list of some of my favorites:

• Radio Rental
• Any of the "Monster" series (Zodiac; LISK; BTK; DC Sniper; Freeway Phantom)
• Escaping NXIVM
• Was I In A Cult?
• The Con: Kaitlyn's Baby
• Unicorn Girl
• The Rise & Fall of Mars Hill (**I've personally left the church- so definitely love a good Deconstruction pod)
• Nobody Should Believe Me
• White Hot Hate
• Scamanda

My significant other has an AVN diagnosis. We've been together almost 2 years and I know very little of this disease.

They had one hip replaced a few years back shortly after finally getting a proper Dx. The other (original) hip is in pain​​, but not as severe as the first hip was... but still enough pain that it prevents them from being as active as they want to be. They used to be super active in younger years- winter sports, climbing, kayaking, backpacking, biking, etc. Now they don't do any of that because of the pain.

I don't understand why they are wanting to wait until the other hip is in as much pain as the first one before getting it replaced. Why not get it replaced now, even though it's not that bad, if you know what's going to get that bad? Why not get it done so that they can go back to being active? They said doctor is resistant to doing the surgery until it's to the point of severity as the first one? I don't get it.. seems like quality of life would be better with both hips replaced??

My significant other was diagnosed almost a year ago after a severe manic episode. He started medication and treatment, and had another episode in the fall. He had a med adjustment after that second episode and has been doing well and maintaining stability for about six months now. Overall, he's doing really well. His medication is working well for him and he has been taking the steps needed to ensure his stability and well-being. I'm super proud of him! He's working really hard and I am grateful that he is doing well.

On the flipside, I am struggling. Some of the side effects of his medications include decreased libido, requiring more sleep, lack of appetite… These things have had a negative impact on our relationship.

I am struggling to voice my struggles and wants with this, because I don't want him to feel discouraged about his medication and how well he is doing. He is doing what he needs to do to stay safe and healthy, and I I don't know how to voice my frustrations when they seem so small in comparison to what he is going through and how hard he is working.