u/Alternative_Leg1593

Hi there, just a 23 year old, high functioning autistic kid trying to get off the ground. I’ve noticed that most of the passions or stuff I enjoy I’m just piss poor at doing. I love admiring great artwork but when trying to put pencil to paper I’m absolutely horrible. My hand shakes despite not having Parkinson’s disease and I struggle to draw lines straight. Can never get proportions right either. Really I can’t get anything right when it comes to drawing for that matter. I tried taking a drawing class but also failed miserably compared to the other students. I pretty much lost all confidence and haven’t attempted much ever since. Never really improved despite putting a lot of heart into the hobby. I also love video games but I’m so incompetent at nearly every single one I pick up and play. I’m good at 2 or 3 games and pretty much horrid at every other one. I’ve always tried to improve my reaction speed, situational awareness, and other small aspects but there’s been marginal improvement. I often let teammates down and fumble favorable situations almost no one else wouldn’t. My aim is so poor I’ve probably lacerated people’s eyesight with how awful my aim is against literally almost anything. I’ve tried fixing it but over a decade and a half later it’s still very lackluster. Honestly the only passion I’ve noticed I’m above average at is eBay selling since I’m willing to take a little less if it means I can move my items way faster rather than sitting on them. I also offer very cheap shipping compared to most and even get some positive feedback in the communications. There’s other stuff I can delve into but you probably get the point. I’ve tried getting better at my passions for a decade and a half now and there’s been marginal improvement at most. Is it normal to be this poor at stuff you have passion for or is it just a me problems and I’m screwing stuff up? Hopefully all of this at least gets the point across. I’m socially awkward and borderline inept due to previous interactions that embarrass me to an uncomfortable degree. Thanks for reading. Any feedback is greatly appreciated