u/DatingConfusion12

3 years ago I was a fat loser who didn’t know how to talk to girls. My parents kept asking about my non-existent dating life. It made me obsessed. I discovered lookism and started working out, trying to become attractive. Then I read books to learn how to converse. Shout-out to Mark Mason, “Models.” Now I’ve reached a level of attractiveness and am decent at conversation. I’m no male model, but I’m at least slightly above average. You can check my profile. It’s so weird seeing the mask I created become me. It’s almost like I lost my true self due to obsession.

26 years old never had a girlfriend. My parents asked about getting a girlfriend 3 years ago and became obsessed with improvement. I reached my goals, but I’ve crush on men. I’ve a crush on my closet friend who I think is also in the college because of religion. I don’t want to be gay and my parents are homophobic. I’m scared and lost.

I was basically talking about how, over the past 3 years, I’ve built up a facade. To fit in with what I call normal people, the first thing I did was get obsessed with my looks. In my mind, I can be weird and quiet without being considered a creep if I am good-looking. Then I started reading books to learn how to come off as extroverted and converse more easily. In the first conversation, you’ll probably see me as your average person. I’m fit and somewhat socially able. I only know how to ask you questions, but my defense mechanism makes it hard for me to talk about myself. I don’t know if anyone else went down this crazy masking path undiagnosed?

I’ve been going to this social club, mostly introducing myself to women and some men. I've noticed most of the women there are in their late 20s to early 30s. I only see about two I genuinely like, but I can be friends with the rest. How slowly should you take warm approaches? Also, do you think me being younger than most of them I’m 26 will be a deal breaker? I’m used to just being straight forward, but I want to take this slow. I also do have there instagrams.

Came home and was instantly spoken to disrespectfully by my granddad; then the next day I was disrespected and threatened. I’m 26 years old and don’t have time for this anymore. Take it as part of my healing journey. I needed a reminder of why I left; now I’ll never come back again!

Women complain about men not putting effort into appearance and then when you do they just put you down. We don’t talk about their overly wearing makeup to cover up that mug or their obesity problems.

Size: iPhone 14 Pro Balls: TRT

I get addicted to everything and take things to extremes. I quit alcohol; now I’m addicted to pregabalin, sex, and my looks. I just want to be attractive so I starve myself. I think I look ugly even though I'm average. You can see it on my profile. Am I the only one struggling with this???

I got a year sober and then started taking pregabalin and got addicted. I don’t understand why I get addicted so easily. What’s in my brain causing pain? I’m too scared to tell my sponsor because I’m just disappointed, and I don’t want people knowing.

My aunt practically raised me, so I asked if it’s okay to see her as a mother figure. She said What does that mean? " and I said I want you as a supportive mother figure. I secretly wanted to tell her I wanted to call her mom. She said she feels honored to be viewed that way. But I don't know if it's weird to do that.

Before being diagnosed, I was an alcoholic going crazy. It made me go through like 5 emotions at once 😂. I had to go to AA and get sober, but I still think about drinking all the time. I don’t think drinking is good with bipolar disorder.

I want to get into the OnlyFans industry, and I feel like I appeal more to men than women. Like, every time I post on Reddit, I get a ton of DMs from guys. I’m thinking about posting on gay subreddit first then transitioning to twitter and only fans. If females can do it why can’t men do it too? And the idea of men masturbating to me is kind of exciting. Like I love the attention.

My size is like iPhone 14.

I haven’t told my sponsor that I am done with AA after being with him for a year and a half. I just stopped calling for the past two weeks. I feel guilty because he invested time and effort in me, but I’m scared to tell him I’m done.

I’m not sure if it’s a bipolar 2 issues or what, but boredom makes me go crazy. When I get bored I need drugs, unprotected sex, or anything that gives me a quick dopamine rush. I’m trying to learn how to accept boredom, but it’s such a built in habit to do something risky. Especially now that I am stabilized. I don’t get hypomanic or depressed anymore, so my life is no longer chaotic. I am now somewhat a normie you know?

People tend to comment on my appearance a fair bit and it makes me become obsessive on how I look. It just instantly sends me into a loop and I don’t know how to stop it. With friends and family I can just tell them that’s a trigger, but for some reason random people comment on my looks. It isn’t negative comments or anything. Sometimes compliments or just general talk about my looks.

Some of y'all takes are absolutely insane at this point. Your social media algorithm feeds your interests to YOU. Not everyone gets lookism and fitness on their timelines or whatever. And if you go outside right now, you’ll see the majority of people are mid. I went to a social club yesterday and everyone there was mostly average looking guys who didn’t look like they took fitness seriously. They were all still talking to the women at the bar. I think the most insane take I read on here is “hot women don’t have hobbies”???? 🤨🤨 SAYS WHO? You genuinely believe if a women is hot they don’t have any interests? Like what.

I’ve been sober for 1 year and 3 months, but I’ve been debating on leaving AA since my 8 month mark. I’ve made plenty post on here about it. This time though I am serious. AA helped me a lot I made some friends, got sober, reconnected with family, and I just never had a genuine bad experience. The reason I am leaving is because I’m tired of living in fear to be honest. Constant shame of not wanting to attend meetings, share, or sponsee. Also, I want normal friends again. I don’t relate to most people and our only bond is AA. I don’t want always view myself as an alcoholic. It’s time I move on and let go of the past. My life is significantly better, since my BP2 diagnosis, family reconnection, and fitness. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m happy. I’m not going to tell anyone maybe my sponsor if he calls and ask. I don’t want to be shamed back in again. Time to live life.

I did a year of AA and got sober, then left the program. I want to relapse because part of me feels like my drinking was caused by mental health issues and lack of coping mechanisms. I am in a way better place now through therapy, psychiatrist, and fixing my family relationship. I want to drink again, but AA has put the fear of god in me. I’m scared to relapse and start all over again. Be in the same position I was in before. But, I feel like I am missing out on so much being young and sober. I would love go to a bar and drink with friends. Or share a beer with my uncle. I wish AA never brainwashed me because now I just think low of myself. I don’t know though just venting.