u/GloomyWill4

To start off: I'm a 21 year old concept and comic artist from Chicago. I just got my first ever full children's book illustration gig through online contacts, and it's going pretty good! I struggle a bit with pacing myself, and giving realistic times of when I'll be delivering pages, but this is my first ever job this big and I'm feeling good. I've never been to college, so this feels like my real foot in the door.

But, like the title says: once this is over... then what? Great for the resume, feels incredible to do, but... I don't want to do remote work forever. I haven't even moved out!

I'm deeply attached to Chicago. Like, I can't imagine living anywhere else. We have a super clannish attitude here, if you live here you get it. I loath to compare it to the rahrahrah attitude of new yorkers (lovingly: bleh) but were real similar.

I guess, things to consider:

-I've been working on my graphic novel for a bit. It's kind a my magnum opus, and everyone has been pushing me to get it done before the chinese history/mongolia craze dies. If I got a deal on that book, I'd have even More foot in the door, and maybe more work... but likely remote work, and certainly not character design work.
-My partner, bless her heart, would rather die than leave chicago. She would, for me, (like when I had the crackpot idea of actually *moving* to mongolia, post my trip there... shes very patient.) but she wouldn't be happy and I'd really have to guarantee I'd actually make BANK in someplace like L.A or.. idk where else.
-I want to be successful. It drives me like nothing else. I don't know if I could feel that while doing remote work. If I could move to a place and get a real, adult job, and then move right back to Chicago with industry shit under my belt to get a job *here* I would but.. once again. Idk how it is out here. I have a lot of conflicting thoughts on this.

Anyway... Just looking for thoughts. If anyone has done something like this (moved, remote, etc...) advice or thoughts or experience would be great. Not sure on the rules for this, but since I'm sure a few comments or thoughts would be like "well it depends on how your art is" I would love honest feedback on if anything I said was even remotely realistic given my current skills, so i can link/send my portfolio/site?

I'll start off with: We have enough money to pay a 30% downpayment and pay off the hypothetical mortgage. However: The house is cash only. We can't pay that money upfront.

It's dirt cheap. 60k, but currently unliveable. We always dreamed of buying a place like this and turning it into our dream home ourselves through DIY, and if we could get a mortgage we could easily do that. We cannot pay upfront.

Soo.. real estate agent reccomended a FHA (203K) loan. But I always seen people talking about contractors in relation to this.

We wouldn't want contractors for anything besides things we couldn't literally do ourselves. Paint? fine. Ripping out carpet and putting in new flooring? We've got that. New porch? I've got that. Frankly, everything short of roof and mold inspection + water damage repair we can do outselves and with friends.

How do we begin to calculate something like that? Who do we bring on? I'm frankly confused by the whole thing.

Me and my wife fell in love with an aesthetically worn down, cheap as dirt house. Insane amount of repairs needed aside (I come from a family with the means to deal with the construction and inspection aspect):

How does this work? I don't have someone that will explain things like this to me indepth, so please don't be rude about how little I know here. I want to make this work and I unfortunately need some strangers to help me.

We don't make alot of money, but I have good credit and she has none. The house is only 12k down, 455 a month mortgage. I contacted Redfin and was assigned to a real estate agent to get a tour of the place.

From there: then what? On Redfin I did the prequalify thing, but I wasn't sure if that was legit or just a little "see if you do but it's not actuaallly that" kind of thing. Do I go to a bank?

What are the steps here? I can afford 455 a month no problem. Were dual income. We are "kids" so to speak, so will that become an issue?

Also: what is a purchase agreement? How do I make sure nobody else will buy this property before we do?

Everything online is so confusing. I need someone to kinda.. hold my hand here. As embarrassing as it is.

Edit: Actually spoke with a real estate agent. The house is apparently cash only. Was a fun pipedream for a while- back to reality and living with our parents. Lol.

Howdy!

So me and my partner fell in love with a 1906 built, gorgeous little fixer-upper in West Pullman. I grew up in Hyde Park, she grew up in the suburbs.

It's a run down house to say the least. Definitely at least 20k-40k of repairs, but frankly it's worth it for a lifelong home. I come from a family of a construction man, a home inspector, and general DIY-ers so I know we'd be able to keep those costs down. It's about 12-14k downpayment.

My concern is.. safety and investment I suppose. I've heard its a dying, unsafe area, but everything I've seen has seemed fine. Quiet, boring. I feel like 99% of the shit I hear is just blanket racism given the 92% black population.

My partner is mildly concerned about us becoming a target, though, and I kind of get it. I'm black, but shes a white transgender woman.

We intend to have a big ass dog and cameras if that changes anything.

Just sort of curious if it's worth it.

i heard its a really oldtimey name, but alot of girls are named khulan so i was wondering.

Hi,

so im 21 now. I started developing true BPD symptoms at some nebulous point around 14 when my first FP signs started to show. You know what I mean by that, haha.

Terrible issues with my mom, the whole shebang, got diagnosed at 19. I knew I had it since 16, though.

The thing is, I've had emotional issues/violence/true autism diagnosis since I was a child (which is part of the reason my mom was.. like that. she is diagnosed with bpd as well.) And my dad was super proactive about getting me help. So I've been in therapy and on meds and had 1 on 1 assistants in school and blah blah blah literally every single thing you can imagine, i had it. Hospitals, alternative schools, etc.

I have a really good foundation, and because of that I feel like my BPD symptoms are decently suppressed. I split super hard but can ignore it because i had learned to ignore anger all my life, my emotions change at the drop of a hat but again, they always have.

my first FP is the same fp i have now. weve been best friends since we were 13, and i clung to her like a koala. she was the only person i cared about and the only person i wanted to please and have love me in turn. The thing is becayse of all the therapy i had already been in, i knew i couldnt project my emotions onto her. it was a huge huge struggle but i told myself i would NEVER let it become her issue. she had no idea i have bpd until we started dating.

Weve been dating for 2 years now, and its actually incredible. ive only freaked out a few times and she doesnt mind reassuring me when my abandonment issues flare up awful. the problem is: she only sees about 30% of my issues. Ive repressed them to the point where i dont express them to her, and honestly its kept our relationship alive. it feels GOOD, it doesnt feel Unhealthy, because i know the thoughts are unhealthy, the issue is dealing with the emotional backlash on myself.

i'm always 1000% Terrified shes cheating on me.

Constantly. Like, all the time.

This isnt something all the therapy prepared me for! the anger and the splitting is one thing, but holy shit man, the paranoia EATS ME ALIVE AND I KNOWWW SHE NEVER WOULD!! but the problem is my brain sees it as she already has, even though thats not true.

right before we started dating, when i was about to tell her i love her, she was in a 3 week long situationship that i didnt know about with a very very bad person who used her, and sucks, and she hates her, and blah blah blah. but my brain at the time saw them as dating and.. it went really bad. i was torn apart. relapsed in so many different ways.

ive explained to her before that because of that happening, i always fear that she is going to choose someone else over me. it was trippy when she would tell me i was the only person she ever wanted to live with, to be close to, and then in my mind, turn around and get with the first woman who tried. like i meant nothing.

and i know i had no claim on her at the time and i obviously never ever act on these emotions and we do have a very healthy relationshi, but it always festers like a parasite in my mind that maybe what we have right now is just like before and shes gonna leave me for someone else whenever she hangs out with a friend.

*TLDR; i have the skills to fight everything but the fear shes cheating on me, how do i kill that final bit for good?*

Hi,

so im 21 now. I started developing true BPD symptoms at some nebulous point around 14 when my first FP signs started to show. You know what I mean by that, haha.

Terrible issues with my mom, the whole shebang, got diagnosed at 19. I knew I had it since 16, though.

The thing is, I've had emotional issues/violence/true autism diagnosis since I was a child (which is part of the reason my mom was.. like that. she is diagnosed with bpd as well.) And my dad was super proactive about getting me help. So I've been in therapy and on meds and had 1 on 1 assistants in school and blah blah blah literally every single thing you can imagine, i had it. Hospitals, alternative schools, etc.

I have a really good foundation, and because of that I feel like my BPD symptoms are decently suppressed. I split super hard but can ignore it because i had learned to ignore anger all my life, my emotions change at the drop of a hat but again, they always have.

my first FP is the same fp i have now. weve been best friends since we were 13, and i clung to her like a koala. she was the only person i cared about and the only person i wanted to please and have love me in turn. The thing is becayse of all the therapy i had already been in, i knew i couldnt project my emotions onto her. it was a huge huge struggle but i told myself i would NEVER let it become her issue. she had no idea i have bpd until we started dating.

Weve been dating for 2 years now, and its actually incredible. ive only freaked out a few times and she doesnt mind reassuring me when my abandonment issues flare up awful. the problem is: she only sees about 30% of my issues. Ive repressed them to the point where i dont express them to her, and honestly its kept our relationship alive. it feels GOOD, it doesnt feel Unhealthy, because i know the thoughts are unhealthy, the issue is dealing with the emotional backlash on myself.

i'm always 1000% Terrified shes cheating on me.

Constantly. Like, all the time.

This isnt something all the therapy prepared me for! the anger and the splitting is one thing, but holy shit man, the paranoia EATS ME ALIVE AND I KNOWWW SHE NEVER WOULD!! but the problem is my brain sees it as she already has, even though thats not true.

right before we started dating, when i was about to tell her i love her, she was in a 3 week long situationship that i didnt know about with a very very bad person who used her, and sucks, and she hates her, and blah blah blah. but my brain at the time saw them as dating and.. it went really bad. i was torn apart. relapsed in so many different ways.

ive explained to her before that because of that happening, i always fear that she is going to choose someone else over me. it was trippy when she would tell me i was the only person she ever wanted to live with, to be close to, and then in my mind, turn around and get with the first woman who tried. like i meant nothing.

and i know i had no claim on her at the time and i obviously never ever act on these emotions and we do have a very healthy relationshi, but it always festers like a parasite in my mind that maybe what we have right now is just like before and shes gonna leave me for someone else whenever she hangs out with a friend.

*TLDR; i have the skills to fight everything but the fear shes cheating on me, how do i kill that final bit for good?*

*ESPECIALLY since that bs online about "female intuition" always being the way someone knows someone is cheating feeds my paranoia because then what if my paranoia is that intuition (even though it makes no sense)

Hi,

so im 21 now. I started developing true BPD symptoms at some nebulous point around 14 when my first FP signs started to show. You know what I mean by that, haha.

Terrible issues with my mom, the whole shebang, got diagnosed at 19. I knew I had it since 16, though.

The thing is, I've had emotional issues/violence/true autism diagnosis since I was a child (which is part of the reason my mom was.. like that. she is diagnosed with bpd as well.) And my dad was super proactive about getting me help. So I've been in therapy and on meds and had 1 on 1 assistants in school and blah blah blah literally every single thing you can imagine, i had it. Hospitals, alternative schools, etc.

I have a really good foundation, and because of that I feel like my BPD symptoms are decently suppressed. I split super hard but can ignore it because i had learned to ignore anger all my life, my emotions change at the drop of a hat but again, they always have.

my first FP is the same fp i have now. weve been best friends since we were 13, and i clung to her like a koala. she was the only person i cared about and the only person i wanted to please and have love me in turn. The thing is becayse of all the therapy i had already been in, i knew i couldnt project my emotions onto her. it was a huge huge struggle but i told myself i would NEVER let it become her issue. she had no idea i have bpd until we started dating.

Weve been dating for 2 years now, and its actually incredible. ive only freaked out a few times and she doesnt mind reassuring me when my abandonment issues flare up awful. the problem is: she only sees about 30% of my issues. Ive repressed them to the point where i dont express them to her, and honestly its kept our relationship alive. it feels GOOD, it doesnt feel Unhealthy, because i know the thoughts are unhealthy, the issue is dealing with the emotional backlash on myself.

i'm always 1000% Terrified shes cheating on me.

Constantly. Like, all the time.

This isnt something all the therapy prepared me for! the anger and the splitting is one thing, but holy shit man, the paranoia EATS ME ALIVE AND I KNOWWW SHE NEVER WOULD!! but the problem is my brain sees it as she already has, even though thats not true.

right before we started dating, when i was about to tell her i love her, she was in a 3 week long situationship that i didnt know about with a very very bad person who used her, and sucks, and she hates her, and blah blah blah. but my brain at the time saw them as dating and.. it went really bad. i was torn apart. relapsed in so many different ways.

ive explained to her before that because of that happening, i always fear that she is going to choose someone else over me. it was trippy when she would tell me i was the only person she ever wanted to live with, to be close to, and then in my mind, turn around and get with the first woman who tried. like i meant nothing.

and i know i had no claim on her at the time and i obviously never ever act on these emotions and we do have a very healthy relationshi, but it always festers like a parasite in my mind that maybe what we have right now is just like before and shes gonna leave me for someone else whenever she hangs out with a friend.

*TLDR; i have the skills to fight everything but the fear shes cheating on me, how do i kill that final bit for good?*

So I've always been fasinated by wild-type mice, as I keep wildtype betta fish and always have preferred the natural "default" to domesticated pets.

i know harvest mice in the UK have a long history of captive breeding and make great pets, but i've never seen a breeder in the united states.

does anyone know of some? where to find them? etc?

Heyo, i'm working on a project set in the early 1200s, and a few dips back into the late 1100s. any help would be deeply appreciated, because while I have done *MUCH* research, theres many things i cannot access/cant find as a casual.

my current questions slash areas im unsure on:

- would the children of the emperor be allowed to leave the palace? or more broadly i guess and easier to answer: what would their daily lives have been like? did they have attendants? etc.

- did advisors have any sway at all in who became emperor or was it purely agnatic succession. i.e if the emperor dies, is there any question of who takes the throne or does it instantly go to the eldest male relative (son, uncle etc) i thought it was purely preplannee successions but i saw a few situations where that seemed kinda questionable? so i wanted to make sure

- specifically jin dynasty: how developed was the theater scene at this point? Opera, theatre, plays, etc.

thank you so much!!

Made a deal with a dealer on the expectation that I would be able to secure a loan from Lightstream. Gave the dealer a good chunk of the money for the Sambar, and signed some shit.

- I got rejected. I could absolutely pay it off in monthly payments to the dealer, but they don't allow that. Now I'm kinda just scrambling to figure out what to do.

My bank doesn't allow cars outside of their network, and certainly wouldn't allow a japanese import. Can't find a credit union near me that would do it either, I saw Navy Federal reccomendations but I don't qualify for any of their membership needs.

I've never really used credit before, I've always been an upfront, cash only, I control every cent in and out person. I'm not irresponsible with money, I just seriously have 0 education on credit or loans or anything related. This is the absolute first time I've ever tried to do something like this besides student loans.

I have no one to "cosign" either, my fiancé was going to but then... she has no credit history either!

Does anyone have any ideas?

Hi.

So I'm trying to finance a used car for 7k, and I got rejected by two auto loan companies for very little credit history.

My family told me they wouldn't co-sign, but my girlfriend is more than willing.

I was wondering if it would help my application if she co-signed with me, even though she has 0 credit history.

Thanx

Hi,

So im trying to buy my first car ever. Im a college kid. Its only 7k, but i cant afford to put all that down at once: and i mean that literally because i physically dont have that much money.

i live in a situation where my family or friends arent willing to co sign a loan with me unfortunately. Not for any like financial failures on my part its just i dont have a great relationship with my family and my friends are all broke.

My credit score is 688 (Fico) it dipped becayse i applied for 2 auto loans and got rejected. i have one credit card ive never used and some student loans i dont need to pay so i dont really have a credit history.

I need a car though. So i'm not sure what to do.

could i get my credit score up really fast or something? or like, does anyone know somewhere for personal/auto loans thatll let me have one?

Hi! So currently i have an Iphone whatever one of the newest ones is, but my parents got it for me. i want a flipphone. im tired of being too distracted to do anything but be on my phone, i havent been creating art for ages.

if i ordered a nokia 2660 on ebay, how do i connect that to my existing phone plan to make sure i can text and call? im kinda confused by all this. my parents said it isnt possible, but i know thats not true.

thanks

Hi,

so i've never used airbnb before. i tried to book one the other day, and got read but ghosted by the host. I thought, weird but.. alright. fair enough. my message just said i was traveling to the city for my birthday with my girlfriend and i really loved their airbnb.

so i tried again at a different place. more specific this time. i said im traveling for my birthday, love the place they've got, its close to everything we wanna do, and that we have no intention of having any sort of party at the airbnb just a quiet weekend.

read and ghosted again.

im really confused... is there something im doing wrong?